Jairus' Daughter

By Geoffrey A. Dugue

Hopelessly trapped in a life not of her choosing, a girl fights to recapture her identity while the man who might save her abandons his own.

John Eleazur was a troubled, isolated man traveling in Thailand for work. After some hesitation, he felt compelled to save an enslaved child from exploitation in the sex industry, setting off

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Sep 14, 2020
• ISBN: 9781647733599

Book preview

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Jairus’ Daughter

Geoffrey A. Dugue,

MD MPH

Trilogy Christian Publishers

TUSTIN, CA

Trilogy Christian Publishers

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive

Tustin, CA 92780

Copyright © 2020 by Geoffrey A. Dugue, MD MPH

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) taken from The Holy Bible, King James Version. Cambridge Edition: 1769.

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

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Trilogy Christian Publishing/ TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Manufactured in the United States of America

Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN 978-1-64773-358-2

ISBN 978-1-64773-359-9 (ebook)

To Joan

1

The money the Japanese businessman gave Elisabet more than made up for what she lost with Eleazur. Even so, her humorless keeper wasn’t satisfied. Certain she could have brought in the same amount from each one, Volodimir decided receipts had fallen behind. It was just an excuse, really. The truth was he hated her. Having failed to keep out the tiny misfit, he looked weak in a business where strength was all that mattered. Life for him had long ago been reduced to the simple issue of who had power, and within that girl something quietly resisted him.

He and his partners had few healthy relationships, and most felt a fierce need to prove their masculinity. There was, of course, plenty of opportunity to meet that demand in this line of work. Moreover, the terror they employed was so overwhelming that the victims never even appeared to resent it. Like ancient gods, they could strike followers without the slightest risk of retaliation. The world sat at their feet, and the authority they exercised over it was unquestioned. Volodimir even dared to dream of being in charge. Such visions could be treacherous, though, so for now care was essential.

She handed him the bills and tried to slip away, but the huge Ukrainian wouldn’t allow it. Letting her step away while he counted it, he folded the cash and put it in his pants pocket. Then, too far to be heard in the hum of conversation and music, he simply whispered, Come here little one.

Eye contact and a half wave controlled her actions. It had to, as there was no doubt he would be quite offended by any lapse in her attention. Casual blasphemy of that kind might carry grave consequences. Despite her high stiletto heels, she moved rapidly across the thick carpet.

Customers in this part of town favor very young females, he said, staring intently into her eyes when she got close. It’s a stupid fetish, and that is the only reason you’re still with us. The problem is I don’t see enough money being made. I guess you know we move lazy girls somewhere the men are poor but plentiful. They go for the bigger chests, usually. However, they make do with what we give them. I’m pretty sure your time will no longer be spent without purpose. Forty or fifty men a day keep little Elisabet busy? Those guys maybe knock their women around some, so you better learn to duck. He balled his Christmas ham-sized fist and held it to her face as he giggled at the fear he’d produced. This could be about the right time. That sound good?

These weren’t empty threats. Not keeping up the pace in the nice hotels like this one could result in something far worse. In the country, they were forced to work in large chicken wire pens with locals lining up for the next person available. The stories terrified her. At night, she imagined the children, glassy-eyed in the sole refuge of their dreams. Invisible pins stuck them to their grass mats like so many human butterflies. The rumor was few workers survived for long; soon they would just stop eating and silently waste away.

In better places, it was the mamasan’s task to protect the trafficker’s property. At a minimum, they would be certain the slaves were alive and presentable. The title meant respected mother, and was used for workers kept on after retirement. Acting as a sham parent, they were instinctively trusted by the teens and adolescents they were assigned to. They answered to the gang, though. Victims as well, the mamasans basically filled the role of Judas goats. Their job, in essence, was to lead the children to the same collapse of spirit they had themselves suffered decades before.

Rural brothels had a single manager, typically a former farmer. Now little more than a patrolling fist, he collected revenue and guaranteed it was earned without delay. The huts were oppressively hot, so for the most part they stood guard outside. There they could savor the breeze and relax, wading into the stink and heat inside as seldom as possible. Violence was the usual means of dealing with any behavior they didn’t want. This approach was risky, though, as no one would survive much severe trauma. If the boss seriously injured one of the workers, the custom was merely to drag her to a cooler hut. There, one of his family members would dole out cool water and wash her wounds. Those who fought to live occasionally did, at least for a while.

It wasn’t substantial, but a penalty was assessed for letting an employee die needlessly. Someone higher in the organization would decide how many slaves they expected to lose each month, and the number was passed on to the manager. To preserve his job, then, he would try not to exceed that. There were no incentives for holding on to women if they didn’t produce income at the optimal speed, however. No one enjoyed killing them, but they had to be replaced to keep the money flowing briskly. To the men running these places, how long a slave lived was just a matter of his or her willingness to work.

Elisabet knew she wouldn’t last somewhere like that, as did Volodimir. To him, poorly submissive servants deserved harsh treatment, and only high cash flow could delay it. That was the way it was for now with this difficult underling, but he was patient. Despair would eventually rule the day, and he would get what he wanted.

Come on, Vloddy, she said, fingers curling under his attractive silk tie. You know I love you. I’m going to make so much dough, nobody will be able to spend it all. Her smile was radiant, but her tone was pure business. Although he heard that part clearly, he acknowledged nothing. Relationship wasn’t in the rulebook for this game.

You better, little one, he growled, turning to retrieve a glass of vodka sitting on a nearby table. You certainly better.

In truth, profits were good that night. The hotel had quite a few American guests interested in what was for them some harmless fun. The best part, of course, was that their bored spouses at home would surely be in the dark about the whole thing. Potential johns often told themselves it was just an interesting element of Thai culture the West was usually too hung up about to enjoy. If they didn’t think too hard about it, such nonsense might make involvement at least a bit more justifiable. Then there were those with no moral issues troubling them at all. You got what I need and I have the bread, baby. Sounds like free enterprise to me, an eager customer volunteered as he set the price with Elisabet.

It’s enterprise, she pondered grimly, but there’s no freedom for me, pal.

As they left together, her thoughts ran to the baffling turn her life had taken just hours before. It seemed ridiculous now, but she had spoken to a stranger in a language she hadn’t used since she was a child. A fragment of her earliest memories, it was now something like remembering Latin from an old church service. Using it was bizarre enough, but the truly peculiar part was that the man she spoke to understood her perfectly. It didn’t end there, either. Unlike her usual customers, their conversation was as warm and natural as saying hello to a brother. Even the coin she saw in his key ring was somehow familiar. It was as if a puzzle piece in her life had snapped into place when she least expected it. Things fit flawlessly when they spoke, and there was no denying the joy she felt. She wondered whether he also sensed a connection. How did he know what I was saying? she asked herself. That is just crazy. Still, her heart jumped at the chance their bond might be strong enough to help her get away. It wouldn’t be the first time she had gotten her hopes up, of course. The murmured words then, however, proved to be as weak as the men themselves. He was so different, though.

She’d done more than just talk to him. A hastily written message with the address of the rundown hotel where she was being housed begged him to meet her the next morning. The two might be able to talk briefly without being watched, though it wouldn’t be simple. Sneaking out for a cigarette had worked for other girls sometimes, and 6:00 a.m. seemed the safest time. The others would be asleep, and the liquor their guards drank would have caught up with them. The only real problem for her was what to say. Asking for a lot could scare him away, but ignoring what she needed was just as pointless.

When they weren’t working, the women shared a single oversized room packed with mattresses and beds. Finding some paper there, Elisabet decided she had to tell her story and explain how desperate she was to escape. Her thoughts, however, seemingly refused to move beyond begging him to save her. Okay, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that nobody will do anything for me unless it works out for them somehow. Maybe I could try bribing him with all the sex he’d ever want. The idea made little sense given her judgment of him, and it stunned her. No, Lis. Thinking like this is a sign of brainwashing. Don’t give in to it. You aren’t for sale. Turning into someone like the men holding her was more terrifying than death itself, and it was clear she’d started down that path. A siege was underway in her soul, and her defenses had already been more deeply breached than she imagined. Losing this fight would leave her, like so many others she’d seen, an empty shell who snitched on friends to gain favors with the men. Perhaps she would end up being the next mamasan. No, that’ll never be me. I’ll die first. This man, Eleazur, had to be the answer she was asking for in her prayers. If he was going to do something for her, though it would have to be for the right reason.

This was the correct decision, but reaching it had eaten up valuable time, and the paper found for her note was still blank. He would be worried about being caught by the men in the gang, so perhaps she could give him some inside information. For one thing, if the Ukrainians weren’t able to find her on the street or in the local jail, they wouldn’t know where to look for her. That’s an advantage I should put in there. Guarding the airports would be tough for those idiots, she muttered bitterly. Her muscles tightened and she rolled her eyes. No, not again. That’s their way of thinking, and it’s in my brain. The part of them she despised most was that they relentlessly hated everyone around them. Now, somehow, that same hostility seemed to bubble up within her. At that moment, it felt as if this chaos she was forced into had managed to erase the last important part of the real her. Like a horse spinning its head as someone jerks the bit in its mouth, she struggled to fight the force that was trying to shape her mind. One thing was clear. For her to ever again be able to choose her own path, she had to leave this place.

Right now, however, that unwritten letter demanded her attention. Trying to explain what she needed without a subtle attempt to persuade him showing up between the lines was so very hard. She wondered whether she had just become blind to any other way now. Perhaps the whole thing was insane. How could she trust a man she’d met only hours before? The chances of being rewarded for that sort of faith were tiny. Success demanded nothing less than a small miracle. Thinking more about it, she decided that was just fine with her.

What do I say in this thing though? I feel like I’m asking for everything, but all I really want is to go home. A fuzzy memory of a football metaphor came to her. I think they call this a Hail Mary. I either win or lose right here, don’t I? Starting to write a description of the men as monsters, she stopped once more. No, kid, not monsters, she whispered to herself. They’re just people. They may be insanely corrupt, but anyone pretending to be pure is lying. We’re all soiled by the world.

Feeling the urgency to get the note done, she began again. I’ve got to leave Thailand, she scribbled. I can find you a little cash. If it isn’t enough, I’ll pay you back. The part about having money wasn’t true yet, but stealing added little risk to what she was already planning. Surely taking something that was rightfully hers was no big deal. The question was whether Eleazur would believe what he saw on that dog-eared pad. The story seemed pretty doubtful, even to her. Reading it over one last time, she became convinced he would just laugh when he read it. He’ll just have to take my word, she thought huffily. Period.

Her mind was racing now. I have to make it to the West if I want access to my bank, but I can’t leave the country without a passport. I might get someone at the embassy to sneak me through, but that’s risky too. She was sure that if Eleazur didn’t put on a strong show of support for whatever tale they told, the embassy would ruin it for her. Even one small slip-up and she’d be jailed as an undocumented alien. She couldn’t use an alias either, as airline passenger lists had to agree with the passport if she flew out. If she was on her own for a day or two, though, she could buy fake Thai papers. She knew just the man to do it. His place was a hangout for the gang she was fleeing, but if they weren’t there, it should be okay. Eleazur would hesitate to be a part of something illegal, but she would convince him later it was for the best. As he got more involved, he’d go along with what she asked.

This is crazy! Will I ever stop trying to jerk everyone around? In truth, the problem was far worse than she admitted. Even the once cheerful world of her dreams had become an ugly spectacle of murder and revenge. Just when she most needed it, the strength of her character had gone missing. Okay, one thing at a time, she thought, making an effort to calm herself. The steps of a good man are ordered, right? It isn’t my job to see how his ends when I’m here at the beginning. The answers are going to be there when I need them.

It didn’t occur to her that the problems she was worrying about had been placed in her mind by her captors in order to control her. All the workers believed that attempting to leave would result in imprisonment or worse. The lies were slipped into casual conversation with all the girls bit by bit over months until the whole story was taken as fact. What seemed strangest to her afterward was that she’d never questioned any of it.

I’m asking for a lot, and I’ll understand if you can’t help me, she wrote finally. But I don’t know what else to do. If you’re willing, we should meet again soon to decide what we’ll do. I am in your hands. Though this was heavy pressure, it was also the truth. Volodimir wouldn’t be held off for much longer. The time had come for Elisabet to be saved or lost forever. It was a Hail Mary.

Sleeping in the beds jammed in the common rooms was difficult, but even having a bed was a mark of prestige beyond Elisabet’s grasp. Like others lacking status, her place was on the floor in the draft and light that crept in around the door’s threshold. Favored girls ruled their higher ground on the furniture. With a simple lie told to the men, these little tyrants could make her life even more awful than it already was. No one in charge really cared what was said, but any accusation could be useful as an excuse for them to terrorize the women even more. New girls found out fast that nothing they did would keep them from being punished and accepting their helplessness was an important part of controlling them.

A few minutes before six the next morning, Elisabet quietly tip-toed between the blankets and mattresses. Closing the door without tripping the lock, she thrilled at her small rebellion though dark eyes watched her from the shadows as she left. Hoping to catch this odd-looking Westerner breaking the rules, an older girl pretended to sleep and then slid from her bed in pursuit. Unaware as she hurried along the cool carpet outside, Elisabet rushed by service carts and grim ice machines. She worried one of them might wake everyone with a sudden crash, but it seemed they chose to stay asleep for the moment.

Her hidden companion followed silently, a distorted image skidding across the face of the same equipment. A loudly snapped lock somewhere made Elisabet turn around once, but she saw nothing. Even so, with each step into the bare hall she felt more like some badly chosen meal slipping down the gut of an impossibly huge fish. Deep inside, she wondered whether this place she was trying to escape could somehow have been put there for her benefit. As unlikely as that seemed, it was all she’d had to hold on to. If this world that held her hostage was meant for lasting punishment, she was as good as dead.

Softly chiding herself for being afraid, she walked through a fire exit and to the bottom of the metal steps on the other side. If discovered, the mamasan might forgive her for going this far, but the adjoining lobby was strictly off-limits. Above and behind her, the older girl cracked opened the steel door without a sound and waited.

By standing on her toes near the tiny square of safety glass, Elisabet had a narrow view of what lay beyond. She should be able to see Eleazur if he showed up, but after twenty minutes there was still no one. You’ll be stuck in here forever, child, a voice taunted in her head. Panic began to take control. Lighting a cigarette with shaking fingers, she inhaled the harsh smoke deeply. Please, please come, she whimpered. Staring at the smoldering tobacco, she sighed. There’s one more part of these people I’ve absorbed. This is hopeless.

A few feet away, the girl who followed her grimaced when she heard the match being struck. This was nothing but a cigarette break. Waiting a minute to be certain Elisabet did nothing else, she strolled back to the room, unconcerned. I’ll get another chance.

Seconds later, a shaft of sunlight shone across the cheerless hotel entrance. It seemed to flash briefly as it outlined a human form huffing noisily and spinning in circles as he ran in. Putting her fears aside, Elisabet threw open the heavy delivery door and leapt into the beam as well.

I was sure no one was coming, she said shyly when she regained her composure. I thought you might have changed your mind.

It wasn’t that, he exclaimed between gasps of air. This section of town is pretty familiar to me, but I managed to lose my bearings somehow. Hands on his hips, he panted softly. Once I figured out where I was, I sprinted the last three blocks. As he relaxed, they both smiled self-consciously. Neither realized, of course, that if he’d arrived any earlier they would have been discovered.

I can’t believe my eyes. Honestly, I feel like I’m dreaming. But, listen, there isn’t much time now. She handed the message to him, concerned with how little it explained. To her surprise, she wanted to run down the street herself if he didn’t accept it. Instead, she stared at the sweat-streaked face in front of her. I think we understand a little bit about us, don’t we, Doctor? We don’t know everything yet, but in time we can probably figure some things out. Does that make sense to you?

The sun had barely reached the windows where they stood. In that moment, however, Eleazur’s doubt vanished. Although he never would have admitted it, he was there largely out of curiosity. He was also determined to avoid what he thought might be a scam. Those notions were now forgotten. The two of them would get through this time together, and that was all that mattered. Believing in something in life was vital, even if it required having faith in this odd little child.

When you’re ready, we’ll meet here again, she told him confidently.

Despite seeming so rattled at first, he quickly relaxed. I can buy us tickets to the US, but it won’t be possible without your real name. So…what is it, actually? They smiled as they realized their true identities remained as hidden from each other as they were from the traffickers.

Why, sir, I am Elisabet Jameson of the Boston Jamesons, she said playfully. Then, she delicately extended the tips of her fingers. And you are?

John Eleazur, Ma’am.

Touching fingertips for an instant, they blushed. Pushed to think of being intimate hours earlier, they now giggled with embarrassment.

Okay, Elisabet, we need to discuss the arrangements. We can go straight to Boston, and I’ll add on a leg for myself back to Florida. He wasn’t planning for them to stay a couple longer than they had to, and that meant everything to her. She was no one’s property. What about money? he asked, reaching instinctively for the wallet in his coat.

I’m good. Use it for the airfare.

Look, if the plan is to rob these guys, don’t take the chance, he mumbled, feeling guilty he hadn’t trusted her. I have enough, and you can pay me later. In truth, the cash wasn’t important to him.

Okay, John. May I call you that?

Hey, we’re friends now, right?

She stubbed her cigarette in an ashtray on a lobby side table and turned toward the stairs. John, please understand that for me, there’ll be no returning.

I know, and I promise to protect you, he heard himself say. I’ll be in touch when it’s all ready.

You are exactly the man I imagined. How can I thank you for my life?

Just be careful.

In the hallway once more, she retraced her steps in swift loping strides. Speed mattered as the regular hotel guests were beginning to get up. If she was discovered, the men might decide it was safer for her to spend nonwork times handcuffed to her bed. It was a fairly routine practice. In fact, several women were found chained in the ashes of a hotel fire just months before. The Cape, the resort they’d met in, was too upscale for anything that crass, fortunately. Places like this one were fair game, though, and being restrained would be the end of her plans. Moving quietly to her corner of the sleeping area again, she felt safe at last. In the dim light, however, dark eyes continued to follow her.

Soon the mamasan came in to prod the motionless figures on the floor. Wake up, you lazy children, the woman said loudly in Thai. If you want some food, you best go downstairs fast. Addressing the slowly rousing teens, she brought her lips close. Maybe room service would be nice today? Sleeping teenagers were the same everywhere. In a few minutes, a handful stumbled toward the bathroom.

No chance, little fool, an older girl barked. I go first and you gotta hold it. The drama never changed either. Each wounded soul seemed pitted against the others. They knew no better way.

The troupe worked the bar at The Cape the next two nights, looking as normal as their misshapen lives allowed. Then, without any obvious reason, the men became surly and withdrawn. The mamasan was shaken as well, scaring the younger girls. Elisabet, convinced they had somehow found out what she was planning, was in a panic. There was no way for them to have discovered everything in such a short time. Still, Volodimir had even stopped his daily threats on her life, a change more terrifying than the rest combined.

After working as usual, they were loaded into three large black SUVs and driven to a house outside the city limits. Elisabet had been taken there before, and she’d hoped never to think of it again. Newly obtained workers were sent there to learn obedience. For several days, she was left in a storage closet and permitted only sips of water, the plan being to keep them weak but conscious. The place had nice bathrooms, but the recruits were given a bucket for their personal needs. They were treated violently nonstop, most of it sexual in nature since few physical scars would show later. The deeper damage would surely not heal at all.

Pushing those horrific recollections aside, she tried to focus on what she felt she knew for certain. It seemed such a big change couldn’t be about one person. Yet, a great deal attention was being directed toward her. Even contacting Eleazur wasn’t possible anymore, and it broke her heart that he would misunderstand the reason why.

The next morning, there was another surprise as they left the house. According to the mamasan, the whole group would take a trip to Surat Thani, a pretty town several hours away. The men acted more normally at the start of the long drive south, though they seemed to watch their rearview mirrors closely. Something was still very wrong. For the first time anyone could recall, the women were only allowed to walk to the restroom when escorted by a guard. Worse yet, Elisabet wasn’t even permitted to get out of the car she was in. When she cried in frustration, Volodimir became irritated and hit her hard with the back of his hand. Reaching into his sock, he then flicked open a steel blade and held it against her face. He said nothing, but the message was clear. She would say nothing more.

There were other strange events as well. Toward the end of the journey, the truck at the front of the pack suddenly turned off the road. Like the set up for an old cartoon, it quickly hid behind a large advertising sign. In this upside-down world, however, the criminals were apparently the ones ready to catch someone driving by. In a few minutes though, they left their hiding place and raced by to retake the lead. The tension had increased dramatically soon after the first stop, and Elisabet decided to find out why. Arriving in Surat Thani, she approached a friend who had been put in the first car. Shrugging her shoulders, the tired young woman stared ahead vacantly. Hey, don’t ask me. They talk to some guy and we leave. That’s all I know.

When they arrived, the mamasan treated the girls to tins of curry and rice bought on the street. Expecting only a short rest before returning to work, they were startled again by being kept inside for the night. A full day with no income was unheard of, so there was little doubt the problem that had put the gang on the run remained. Her friends tittered nervously as they tried to guess what was happening, but Elisabet didn’t join in.

2

His name was John Eleazur. That wasn’t exactly true, but the MD and public health degree with that name had been useful for quite a while. A lot of other education was left out of his résumé as the schooling for it was pretty rough and tumble. Happily, the worst of that was a very long time ago.

Though he didn’t like to say much about his nationality, he carried a US passport. It was easier for him to avoid the topic of where he was born, but most people felt he acted like an American so that’s what he became. A birthplace isn’t all there is to a person’s origin story, he told himself when border control officials questioned him. Maybe I’m kind of a citizen of the world. Regardless, US papers were usually helpful. His home was now listed as St. Petersburg, Florida, and that was perfect.

Since he was able to handle the majority of work problems remotely at this point in his career, he hadn’t been in Bangkok for months. Mornings in January were usually clear like this one, and it was almost cool as he walked in the garden outside his hotel. Although this was nice, he was surely one of the few visitors to the nation who preferred to come in the monsoon season. That time of year the country was a steam bath, but he liked it. It seemed to him that existence was supposed to be a little unkind sometimes. There were those who tried to pretend they could change the reality around them by adjusting a thermostat, but he knew there was no escaping the truth. He found it could be quite beautiful, in fact.

Every sunrise, he watched as hundreds of monks stood on the docks near the Chao Phraya River like large spools of saffron thread. Huddled under their black umbrellas as they lined up for water taxis, the daily event was often portrayed as a confusing melee. Yet, for some reason, it calmed him. He was even fond of the noisy Tuk-Tuks. Motorcycles with a roofed cart for riders, the colorful machines could be seen everywhere, and few others really cared much for them. If you rode in one in the firehose-like seasonal downpours, you still got wet, but it didn’t upset him. Staying dry that time of year was never really an option.

Trips across town required planning for Eleazur, though. He normally met with researchers who wouldn’t be happy if a drug company doctor showed up dressed casually, regardless of the weather. Being prompt and properly attired were signs of respect. Along with well-polished wingtips, then, his custom was to pack his briefcase with no-wrinkle pants in a plastic bag. A visit to the men’s room just before his meeting, and he was well costumed to play his role.

Today, however, the sky was a perfect blue. The cool breeze revived him as he waited for a car at the entrance to the docks. On the river, long-tail boats loaded with commuters flew madly in all directions, disrupting his quiet brooding. He loved watching as they tore the surface and bounced atop the wakes of ferries. Firing rooster tails of spray behind, they made him think of sea serpents happily at play. A vivid memory of when he first witnessed this daily uproar burst into his mind as he watched. To his surprise, he heard himself laughing as he scoffed at the vessels’ outwardly simple design. In the background of the recollection, he could hear his Thai assistant’s voice strain as he tried to explain how carefully thought out each craft was. The young man sighed as he added that because the teak could no longer be harvested, this part of his culture would soon disappear. He said nothing further, and it was clear he was upset.

Forcing the image away, Eleazur cursed the hold his memories had over him. Most people wanted to recall everything they possibly could about their past, but his struggle had always been the opposite. For him, letting go of the endless data stored in his brain was almost hopeless. Worse yet, detailed mental videos of his long life seemed ready at any moment to meddle with his present thoughts. As if to prove the point, he gazed upward and was startled to see the drab green ceiling of the ER at Hopkins decades before. Then, bowing his head, he looked at his cupped hands as they squeezed a limp human heart in a failed attempt to restart it. He stopped when he saw air bubbles in the arteries, obsessively counting the number in each vessel. Having soaked his feet in blood again while performing this ritual, he realized later that the nice loafers inside his booties would never come clean. Disposing of the shoes, he again felt the pain of pointless waste.

Roused from his waking dream with a gentle touch, Eleazur snapped to attention. His