Trini's Blues: And if you do not love yourself...

By B.A. Buie

Immerse yourself in the captivating dance of cultural, spiritual, and social elements, as they intertwine to deliver an inspirational and empowering story. "Trini's Blues" challenges you to not just read, but to feel the beat and embrace the choreographed language of liberation.
Experience the unique fusion of storytelling

• Language: English
• Publisher: B.A. Buie
• Release date: Aug 26, 2020
• ISBN: 9781735597706

B.A. Buie

B.A. Buie emerges as a compassionate wordsmith hailing from North Carolina but finding her creative roots in the heart of Georgia. Her journey unfolds as a purposeful escape from the confines of Corporate America, precisely timed to embrace her lifelong aspiration of becoming a writer and navigating the uncharted waters of an empty-nester. Having traversed both national and international landscapes, B.A. Buie eventually settled back in Georgia, where she cultivated the growth of two remarkable children while giving life to her debut masterpiece, "Trini's Blues: And if you do not love yourself..." This literary gem intricately weaves the tapestry of rhythmic storytelling and poetry, drawing inspiration from the rich fabric of her own life. B.A. Buie stands out for her revolutionary fusion of Choreopoem and monologue styles, delivering emotionally charged performances that challenge societal norms. Through her artistry, she endeavors to spark profound conversations, urging others to embark on a journey of personal growth. For B.A. Buie, the pursuit is not merely about surviving; it is about thriving, inspiring a life rich in meaning and purpose.

Book preview

Trini's Blues:

Trini's Blues:

And if you do not love yourself...

A Choreopoem By: B.A. Buie

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Buie Production and Publishing LLC

Copyright © 2024 by A Choreopoem By: B.A. Buie

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

First Printing, 2024

LCCN 2023919088 (paperback) | ISBN 978-1-7355977-1-3 (eBook)|ISBN 978-1-7355977-0-6 (hardback)|978-1-7355977-2-0 (audio)| 978-1-7355977-3-7

Subjects: LCSH: Women--Poetry. | Short stories. | Poetry. |  BISAC: LITERARY COLLECTIONS / American / African American. | LITERARY COLLECTIONS / Women Authors | POETRY / Women Authors. | POETRY / American / African American. | PERFORMING ARTS / Monologues & Scenes. Classification: LCC PS3602.U34 T75 2020 (print) | LCC PS3602.U34 (ebook) | DDC 813/.6--dc23.

This is a retelling of events in the author’s life. Some conversations and events have been recreated and/or supplemented.  Some persons are composites based on the stories of more than one individual. The names and details of some individuals have been changed to respect their privacy.

Copyright © 2020 by Bianca Arrington

Published in the United States by Buie Production & Publishing LLC.

Amateur and professional performance rights to this play are controlled by Buie Productions and Publishing LLC., 113 S. Perry Street, Suite 206 #6922 Lawrenceville, Georgia 30046, and must be procured before proceeding with production.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, performances, and publicity posters please contact:  email [e-mail] or website https://buieproductionandpublishingllc.com/

Contents

Dedication

Prologue

Truth

Genesis

Closed

Fear

Fearless

Love

Foregiveness

Open

Gratitude

Death

Rapture

Bye Felecia

Surviving

Thriving

Freedom

Abandonment

Processing

Apocalypse

Body

Voice

Eyes

Note To Readers

About the Author

Dedicated with love and admiration to my beloved son and sacred daughter.

May you always find the courage to surrender to your dreams and greatness.

Trini's Blues:

Prologue

Trini's Blues started as an image of a man I quietly met and married for what I thought was a genuine connection. It turned out to be more of an opportunity for him to get his U.S. Citizenship and less of a chance for us to live happily ever after. The image (which I am forbidden to publish) captured a man torn between his heart and fatherly commitment with a tattoo that read, Only Jah can judge me. A man torn between a childhood of poverty and a better life for his children. A man with two hearts that could not exist at the same time. A man who broke my heart.

However, this book is not about him. It is about me. Me following the cookie crumbs that led back to the beginning of my story.

Because, like it or not, I chose him. Like it or not, I chose a lot of hims.

But why?

Trini's Blues, And If You Do Not Love Yourself… is about my healing journey. The title captures a pivotal moment in that journey. A moment when the pain of existing in my current state was outweighed by the longing to love myself. When I knew that I was worth fighting for and was ready to do the required work both inside and outside. The publication represents the shedding of shame and fear from judgment. It is the realization that we are healing the world by sharing our stories. We are finding understanding and deep connection with ourselves and those around us.

That awareness keeps us from colliding with one another and helps us to see God within us all.

So, with all that said, I give you Trini’s Blues, And If You Do Not Love Yourself…

This one is for US.

Peace, Love, and Blessings

B.A. Buie

October 2023

Truth

In a twinkling of an eye

I was mesmerized by this guy

He snuck up on me like a spy

And now my womanhood is on Fiyaa

I like how he could keep his composure

Like a righteous soldier

When the battle first begun

He pulled his strength from the sun

Sista let yourself go

But I was too high to simply go with the flow

My inner conscious was bleeding

Because I would not say no

As his dreads rustled in my ears

I released all fears

And this diamond turned to rock

As the rhythm he dropped blew up the spot

This brutha had me locked down

Pinned to his soft yet hard chest

As the Reds, yellows, and blues began to spin

Our bodies got tangled in a mess

I confess, there is a crime being committed

Guilty as sin my mind, body, and soul were involved in it.

My emotions grew wings and flew

With them went my conscious too

For certain this man knew

What his dance was bond to do

Mind you, the cypher was never completed

Both of us wore shackles that would constantly come between us

That's why this mystery is dead, and his absence is fucking with my head

I don't think you heard a word I said.

But I still got you wandering how what began

Ended

So soon

So fast

So quickly

Was love

Love that cut till you could see the white meat while at the same time bandage seeping wombs you didn't even know existed.  Making what was rotten, smell like mangoes.

I believe that was Trini. ???,

No seriously!  That was him.

 I know that tan hummer with tinted windows and chrome wheels anywhere.  There it was creeping down memorial drive.

Can’t be, 

Maybe It's his brother? 

He supposed to be at work.  Working the late shift.  He took a job after the housing crash.  Houses aren't selling and we can't keep renters, so my man is making sure we are all okay.

He's just a hard-working Trini boy. Nothing can come between him and his duty to his family. 

But let's follow him anyways.  Just in case he ain't as hard-working as, I think.

And so, we did.

It was him and I am not myself.  Not present in my body.  Not available to anyone, not even my children.  I am nothing, no one, I have nothing, no one. 

Don't look at me!! 

Don't see my pain.  You don't deserve the joy of knowing that I failed. 

I know you've been patiently waiting for a moment like this.  To know that I am the most miserable of them all. 

Don't look at me!

I should not have followed that truck.  I should have stayed in the restaurant and finished my food. 

Instead, I chose to know. 

Knowing that ignorance is bliss. 

Not knowing what bliss really is. 

I chose to know. 

So, we left hot plates of jerk chicken and oxtail in pursuit of fucking truth!

A truth that was irrelevant for so