Feel It To Heal It

By Clay'Nisha Wilson

What was the mindset, and emotions that led to your big mistake? How do you pick yourself up and recover from past failures, mistakes, or deep-rooted pains associated with childhood? Unresolved childhood issues can affect adulthood in many areas of life, including low self-esteem and infidelity.

For me, as a child, I always told myself tha

• Language: English
• Publisher: Clay Innovation
• Release date: Nov 18, 2020
• ISBN: 9781947928428

Book preview



Rectangle



Rectangle



Rectangle

FEEL IT

TO

HEAL IT

Copyright © 2020 by Clay’Nisha Wilson

All rights reserved.

This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, in any form or by means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system now known or hereafter invented, without permission from the publisher. Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

Bulk Ordering Information:

Quantity sales. Special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the publisher at the address above or via email at: [e-mail]

The publisher is not responsible for websites, or social media pages (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.

Book Cover Design: VMH Publishing                                                                                              Interior Layout: VMH Publishing                                          Editors: Vikki Jones, Sara Prescott                                           

Hardback: 978-1-947928-45-9                                                Paperback ISBN:  978-1-947928-37-4                                              Ebook: 978-1-947928-42-8                                                         

Made in United States of America 

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Rectangle

I dedicate this book to my wonderful children, Angel S. Jones, Benjamin  J. Stephens IV, and Aaliyah K. Stephens.

I love you.

I pray that my story encourages

positive change in

your life.

I also dedicate this book to my grandparents, Raymond and Dorothy Brown, and my auntie, Cassandra Jessie.

I can never repay you for the care and love that you showed me, or the lessons that you taught. I can, however, say THANK YOU, and I LOVE YOU!



Rectangle

FEEL IT

TO

HEAL IT

Clay’Nisha Wilson



Rectangle

As much as my family loves me, and with all their good intentions, I have learned that, no matter what family I was born into, I am still my own individual self, with my own individual dreams, goals, ideas, opinions,                    and thoughts.



Rectangle

Chapter 1

It’s Okay to Be Inquisitive

I

never thought I would be in this situation - being divorced due to me having an affair. Not me, of all people. As a child, I always told myself that I would never cheat, especially while married. So how did I get here? I despised marital affairs, and I would have never knowingly gotten involved with a married man, regardless if I was married myself or single; yet, I did. Life truly has a funny way of proving to you what is possible, if allowed, or given the opportunity.

Growing up with my grandparents and around older people, they would always say, never say never. I felt that to be an odd thing to say.  But keep living though, and you will be surprised at what it is you will do or are capable of when you are actually in that situation. Things do not just happen; we either make them happen, or we allow them to happen. As I continue to grow, I am learning this on a regular basis.

I have always been an inquisitive individual, so when I would ask my pastor after church services or bible study questions regarding what he had just taught us, or on how to better my life, I did not think things would go in the direction that they did. At church I was a part of the health ministry, and wanted to be involved in the married couples’ ministry also. I remember asking the pastor what days and time this ministry met. At first, I was informed of the singles’ ministry, so I had to reiterate that I was inquiring about the married couples’ ministry. I understood the confusion though. I attended church most days by myself or with the kids only. Once I was informed of the next meeting, which was in a few days, I informed and invited my husband. I ended up attending the couple’s ministry meeting alone, and informed my husband afterwards on what was discussed.

During the meeting, I sat by myself since I was not close with any of the other members in attendance. I was focused on what the guest speaker was saying, as well as the pain in my arm. This was March of 2016, and I had recently had surgery for a nerve in my arm. During the meeting my arm was quite uncomfortable, and must have shown on my face. After the meeting, while still in the dining hall of the church, I was asked by  the pastor if I was okay, and if I had received his message. I was confused as to how I would have received a message from him, being that he did not have my phone number at that time, nor did I have his. I briefly informed him that I was in a little pain from my surgery, but overall, I was fine. I gave him that church side hug, and left through the dining hall door.

I looked at my phone puzzled, only to see that I had a message on Twitter. It was from the pastor who said to smile. I safely assumed that he sent this when he noticed I was rubbing my arm in pain. I sent back a smile emoji as a response. I did not think anything of this message, and continued on with my night.

A few days later, after bible study, I asked the pastor a question about clubbing. I enjoyed clubbing, but I wanted a minister's perspective about it. The response he gave me made sense, however I disagreed with it. He then gave me an odd look, and informed me that we would talk about it later. However, as far as I was concerned, the issue was addressed and there was nothing else to be said. The topic was not that big of a deal. But still, the look that he gave me made me feel uncomfortable.

Sure enough, about two weeks later after Sunday service, I was contacted immediately afterwards via Twitter again. I had not left the church grounds yet, as I was buying a cd after service about that Sunday’s sermon. The sermon’s topic was Do you like me? The service and message was so inspiring, and I wanted to be able to reflect on the message further. During church service I tweeted the topic on Twitter. Once I arrived home, I noticed the message in my direct message box. It was the pastor. I was shocked at the message and did not believe it was him. I felt like I was being cat-fished, so I asked questions he should have known, like, what dress was I wearing today at church? After getting my answers to ensure I was talking with the right person, I was baffled. At the same time, I was curious and wanted to see what he wanted.

After