The Caregiver's Response: Our Shared Journey

By Gary Pacernick

It never occurred to me that I would outlive my wife Dotti. She was a seminal part of the air I breathed, the flowers I smelled, the fruit I tasted, the flesh I touched, the language I heard. And then one day after thirty-three years of marriage, the phone rang, and her obstetrician-gynecologist told her, "You have cancer." From the moment of t

• Language: English
• Publisher: ReadersMagnet LLC
• Release date: Dec 2, 2020
• ISBN: 9781951775971

Gary Pacernick

GARY PACERNICK is professor of English at Wright State University. He has published ten books of poetry, criticism, interviews, editions, and drama. His poetry collection, The Jewish Poems, was adapted for the stage and public television by Robert Britton. He is listed in Who's Who in America.

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A Caregiver’s Response: Our Shared Journey

Copyright © 2020 by Gary Pacernick

Published in the United States of America

ISBN Paperback: 978-1-951775-96-4

ISBN eBook: 978-1-951775-97-1

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any way by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording or otherwise without the prior permission of the author except as provided by USA copyright law.

The opinions expressed by the author are not necessarily those of ReadersMagnet, LLC.

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Book design copyright © 2020 by ReadersMagnet, LLC. All rights reserved.

Cover design by Ericka Obando

Interior design by Shemaryl Tampus

In Memory: Dotti Pacernick (1942-2002)

Beloved Vile, Mother, Grandmother, and Friend

Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Phase One

Thirty Five Years

Phone Call

To Whom Should I Pray That Dotti Be Cured

First Opinion

Second Opinion

September 11, 2001

Hold Me, Touch Me

Anticipation

Cat Scan

Journey

Two Tales In One

Pet Scan

Five Minutes From The Cancer Clinic

Waiting Room Clinic

Rite Of Passage

Treatment

Prognosis

Love And War

Effects

Blood Clot

Radiology

Overnight

Sharing

After Surgery To Remove Dotti’s Port-O-Cat

The Climb

Story In The Chemo Room

Taking Leave

Aftereffects

Penultimate Chemo On Christmas Eve

High dose internal radiation

The Lady In The Wheelchair

These Here Herbs

Crossing

Recovery

Post Treatment Exam

Checkup With Dr. Chua

M.R.I.

Waiting

Post-Treatment Testing

Tapestry

Second Post Treatment Checkup With Dr. Simon

Yes

Tense Talk

We’re Back

The Report

Waiting For Still Another Cat Scan

Consult After Cat Scan

My Angel

Father And Daughters

Healing

What She Says To Me

Consult With Dr. Copeland

Prayer Poem

8 A.M. With Dr. Fowler

At The James Cancer Hospital

Poem Journal: Phase Two

8/4 NOON SUNDAY

8/5—1 A.M. MONDAY

7:30 A.M. MONDAY

NOON MONDAY

11 P.M. MONDAY

8/6—9 A.M. TUESDAY

10:50 A.M. TUESDAY

12:30 P.M. TUESDAY

8/7—7:40 A.M. WEDNESDAY

12:35 P.M. WEDNESDAY

8/8—8:15 A.M. THURSDAY

1 P.M. THURSDAY

8/9—10 A.M. FRIDAY

11:30 FRIDAY

8/10—9:55 P.M. SATURDAY

8/11—5 A.M. SUNDAY

8/12—9:25 A.M. MONDAY

8/13—12:30 P.M. TUESDAY

7:25 P.M. TUESDAY

8/14—8 P.M. WEDNESDAY

8/15—5:50 A.M. THURSDAY

2 P.M. THURSDAY

8/16—11:15 A.M. FRIDAY

8/17—11:20 A.M. SATURDAY

8/18—9:30 A.M. SUNDAY

8/19—7:45 A.M. MONDAY

3:42 P.M. MONDAY

5:32 P.M. MONDAY

6:10 P.M. MONDAY

Back Home 8/20—8 A.M. TUESDAY

8/21—7 A.M. WEDNESDAY

11 P.M. WEDNESDAY

8/22—4:30 P.M. THURSDAY

8/23 Walnut Creek Nursing Home—12:15 P.M. FRIDAY

7:35 P.M. FRIDAY

8/24—11:25 A.M. SATURDAY

11:30 P.M. SATURDAY

8/25—5 P.M. SUNDAY

8/26­—7 A.M. MONDAY

6:10 P.M. MONDAY

8:35 P.M. MONDAY

8/27—8:30 A.M. TUESDAY

8/28—11 A.M. WEDNESDAY

8/29 A.M. THURSDAY

8/31—7 A.M. SATURDAY

4:30 P.M. SATURDAY

7:30 P.M. SATURDAY

9/1—1:25 P.M.SUNDAY

4 P.M. SUNDAY

9/2—11 A.M. MONDAY

9/3—5 A.M. TUESDAY

9/4—9 A.M. WEDNESDAY

11:15 A.M.

9/5—1 P.M. THURSDAY

9/6—8:30 A.M. FRIDAY

9/7—8:10 A.M. SATURDAY

3 P.M. SATURDAY

9/8—2 P.M. SUNDAY

9/9—9 P.M. MONDAY

9/10—8:30 A.M. TUESDAY

9/11—9:10 P.M. WEDNESDAY

9/12—3:30 P.M. THURSDAY

9/13—8 A.M. FRIDAY

9/14 SATURDAY

9/15 SUNDAY

9/16—6:30 A.M. MONDAY

9/17—3:30 A.M. TUESDAY

9/18—12:10 P.M. WEDNESDAY

9/19—11:15 A.M. THURSDAY

9/20—9:25 A.M.FRIDAY

9/21 SATURDAY

9/22 SUNDAY

9/23 MONDAY

9/24—8 A.M. Tuesday

9/25—2:55 WEDNESDAY

5:10 P.M. WEDNESDAY

9/26—4:35 P.M. THURSDAY

9/27—10:05 A.M. FRIDAY

9/28—7 P.M. SATURDAY

9/29—3:30 P.M. SUNDAY

9/30—9:25 A.M. MONDAY

11:50 A.M.

Acknowledgments

I could not have lived through the experience that I write about in these pages without the help of my daughters Jennifer and Eden and their families, and many friends, colleagues, medical personnel, clergy, etc., too many to mention by name. However, I want to especially thank Dotti’s sister Geri Taylor and her cousins Carol Nied and Susan Di Giacomo, my sister Judith Parnes, and Rubin Battino, as well as those who read the work in progress: Donald Hall, Philip Levine, Rubin Battino, Jane Baker, and my daughter Eden Sulzer. A special