Love.Life.™

By Lisa A Lundy

Love.Life. ™ - A Handbook on Being Well Loved, Happy & Healthy~ provides the tools, habits, practices, skills, attitudes and beliefs to help people live an amazing and happy life even when times are extremely difficult. This book provides the reader with the steps it takes to bring love, happiness, peace, joy and contentment into their lives

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lisa A. Lundy
• Release date: Dec 5, 2020
• ISBN: 9780578818955

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Love.Life.Full Page Image

www.LisaALundy.com

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Copyright © 2020 by Lisa A. Lundy

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First Printing

Published by Lisa A. Lundy

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reprinted or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission.

For information contact: Lisa A. Lundy,

19 Colonnade Way, Suite 117, MB# 227, State College, PA 16803

Contents

Important Note to Readers

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Love.Life.

Obstacles & Roadblocks to Being Well Loved

Why Are You Not Well Loved

Love & Happiness

Living Life with Your Whole Heart

Level Up Your Happiness

Love & Miracles – How to Get More Love & Miracles in Your Life

How to Generate Your Own Happiness & Why It’s THE Skill to Learn this Year

LOVE Involves Trust: Why It’s Time to Deal with Your Trust Issues

The Power & Magic of Vulnerability: Top 10 Ways You Can Start Increasing Your Ability to be Vulnerable

LOVE in the Midst of Chaos – And, Yes I love you!

The Miracles of Gratitude

The Road to Happiness Starts Here

September Theme: Building a Base for Happiness

October Theme: Healing Your Heart

Personal Growth & Development

Road Map for Creating a Life that YOU LOVE

What Tripping Over the Truth Looks Like in Real Life- Ker splat

Top 45 Ways that Personal Growth & Development Will Help You Have a Life You Love

Top 45 Reasons Why Growth & Development Will Help You Have a Life You Love

Self-Mastery, Self-Motivation, & Self-Care: The Holy Grail of Happiness & Joy

August Theme: Awake & Aware

Empowering Practices, Skills, Habits, Attitudes & Beliefs

LOVE the TIME of YOUR Life

The LOVE and POWER of Completion

The Sheer Joy and Magic of Integrity

10 Ways to Get Yourself Motivated for a Happier Life

Top 35 Ways that Making a List Will Help You Have a Life You LOVE

Top 35 Ways Making A List Will Benefit You

21 Reasons Why Making Friends Will Help You LOVE Your Life & 17 Ways to Make New Friends

Here’s How to Have the Best New Year of Your Life

How Hobbies Can Help You Love Your Life and the Top 23 Reasons You Should Hobby Up Now

Self-Motivation: The Nuts & Bolts of Leveling Up with a Reward System

Do You Have these 8 Things That Will Help You Flourish in Life Regardless of What Happens? Hint: It’s not too late to get them!

Feel Better Now with Self-Care

Pandemic Sleeping Tips

The Healing Nature of Self-Compassion

The Healing Nature of Assertiveness

Nutrition, Health & General Wellness

8 Ways to Improve Your Health & Look Younger

The Ultimate Consumer Guide to Nutrition, Why It Matters & How It Could Save or Change your Life

Stress Kills Your Brain Cells – Here’s 19 Strategies to Prevent that and help you To Be Happy & Healthy

Dealing with Emotions & Problems

Top 17 Benefits to High Emotional Intelligence and the 29 Traits of People Who Have It

Dealing with Overwhelm: How to Put an End to Feeling Overwhelmed with Life Once and For All Plus 29 Tips to Help You in the Meantime

How to Be Happy When You Are Suffering or Life is Bad

Dealing with Depression – 43 Tips to Help You Stave Off Depression

Worry & Fear Hurt Your Health: 15 Tips to Overpower Fear & Worry & Start Taking Risks

Is Low Self-Esteem Stealing Love, Joy & Happiness from Your Life? Top 29 Tips For Boosting Self-Esteem Like a Boss

Deep Dive into Emotional Pain and How to Use It to Your Advantage

Here’s How to Ditch Loneliness and Isolation for Good

How Anger Can Help You Heal

Healing from Dysfunctional & Toxic Families and People

Coronavirus & Pandemic

The Juicy Good Parts of the Coronavirus PLUS the Top 52 Things You Can Do to Make This a Good Thing In Your Life Now

Disaster Relief: How to Flip the Switch on Your Emotions and Feel Better Now!

The ONE Coronavirus Article That Could Change Your Life for the Better FOREVER

19 Potential GIFTS of the Pandemic & the Top 29 Tips to Help You Get Through It

The Coronavirus Tipping Point: Which Way Will You Tip?

The Do’s and Don’ts of Handling Challenging Times

Getting Unstuck – Pandemic Style

Miscellaneous

Why It IS Okay to be Mad at God and What to Do If You Are Mad at HIM

FORCED Home Schooling: Short Cuts to Better Results

A Glimpse into My Observations of the World at Age 22

Call to Action

About Lisa Lundy: B.S., D.T.M.

Blog Posts – Title – Date – Content

Notes

Important Note to Readers

The author of this book is not a medical physician, a medical practitioner or a therapist. Readers should seek personal medical evaluations and advice from qualified, licensed health care professionals. The author and publisher of this book recommend that you consult with your primary health care provider for any and all medical advice. The author and publisher of this book disclaim any liability directly or indirectly arising from the use of this book and any suggestions contained in this book.

Suicide Warning/Mental Health Waiver

If you have any thoughts of suicide or harming yourself or others please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or call 911 immediately. Please call someone, tell someone or post it on social media and ask for help right now! We have more people suffering from depression, anxiety, and negative emotions than ever before, which means that you are in good company. I am asking that you take a specific action if you are feeling suicidal or that harming yourself because your life matters more than you realize and because there is help available to you.

Acknowledgments

To my three living children: Luke, Noah & Anne for giving me the gift of being your Mom,

and to Christina – deeply loved and missed;

To my family and friends who have loved me and helped me become the person I am;

To past managers, co-workers and neighbors for your love and support;

To Ron DiCerbo, Esquire and George McAndrews, Esquire at McAndrews Held & Malloy

For their generosity and support since 2004;

To George McAndrews, Esquire for saving the field of chiropractic through your

Heroic legal efforts and tenacity.

This book is dedicated to each person on the planet

that you may be well loved in your life,

learn how to be happy and

develop the skills and abilities

to be very functional in life no matter

what challenges you face.

Love.Life.™

Introduction

It is my greatest hope that you already feel well loved, yet I am deeply aware that it is the one thing that many people don’t feel – as though they have been well loved, which breaks my heart. I made a YouTube video called Be Well Loved and after I made that video I realized that this is the one thing that is missing for many people of all ages in life. It is the one thing that a majority of people would say is absent from their life – feeling as though they have been well loved in their life. I hope that you will make this your number one goal in life. You have this one life to live. How are you living it? What do you want from life? I am suggesting firmly that being well loved should be your primary goal in life because it is so miraculous.

Even if you don’t feel well loved right now, you can still have that in your life. It’s not too late regardless of your current age or status in life. The reality is that you can change your life so that you ARE well loved. Just because you might not feel well loved in this given moment in time, that does not dictate your future. You have the option of saying how your future will go. You can create your future. You can take the actions necessary to be well loved. You can learn the skills, habits, practices and attitudes that will allow you to be well loved. This book will show you the path and access to a life where you are well loved if you are open to that if you are willing to look inward at yourself and make the necessary changes.

In the next chapter I discuss the obstacles that block people from love and being well loved. There are so many things that stop people from being well loved and they can all be remedied. You are not stuck in this life without love or being well loved. Love is worth it. Love is the best thing ever and you want to have that in your life. And I am not just speaking about romantic love. I am talking about being loved by many people and knowing that you are loved, feeling that you are loved. Knowing deep in your heart that you are well loved. This is what is possible for you out of the contents of my book coupled with you doing the work involved.

Let me digress for a moment to address trying to be perfect or perfectionism. I am not a fan of trying to be perfect or perfectionism in any form. It is my opinion that perfectionism is exhausting. I am a huge proponent of being authentic and real. To that end, this book is the compilation of my blog posts – unedited. What that means is that for a small percentage of you who are grammar aficionados or who otherwise demand perfection in writing, this book might be irritating for you. Sometime ago, I did have someone edit one of my blog posts for grammar and sentence structure and what I ended up with was not authentic or real in any capacity and in a few instances changed the intention of my point, so I powerfully chose not to continue with that process.

What I learned from the chapters in my first book, The Super Allergy Girl™ Allergy & Celiac Cookbook, was that the vast majority of people loved the way that I wrote because for them, the readers, it felt like I was talking to them. In many ways, that is exactly how I write, which is not how grammar and sentence structure works in a professional sense. Prior to the publication of this book I faced a choice as to whether or not to have each and every word and sentence scrutinized and made perfect in a grammar and sentence construction form. I have chosen not to do that and I beg your forgiveness if you are one of those people who demands that level of perfection. I have chosen to write just as if I were speaking to you because I am speaking to you and hopefully in a way to motivate you to seize the day and your life and begin living it in a way that gives you great love and happiness.

It is my greatest desire for you and for everyone to be well loved, happy, healthy and fully functional in life. This book deals with the habits, practices, attitudes and beliefs and skills that it takes to be happy, very functional in life and to be well loved. You have to be able to trust people if you want to be deeply connected to people. You have to be able to let love in and give love. You have to be able to heal from past wounds, hurts, traumas and other difficulties to be freed up and happy.

My promise to you is that if you actually engage in the steps I have outlined in this book, which includes taking on new habits and practices, learning new skills and having empowering attitudes and beliefs that you will:

Become much happier

Become significantly healthier

Become able to deal with your emotions and control them better

Become much more functional in life

Be better able to handle hardships in life

Be less stressed

Have more friends

Have more social connections

Be freed up from anxiety and depression

Feel in control of your life

Be able to be your authentic and real self without apology

Be able to be a better friend, co-worker, sibling, parent, aunt, uncle, etc.

Be clearer in your thinking

I am completely confident that if you are willing to do the work – to grow yourself and develop yourself – that you can absolutely obtain those promises listed above. Read them again. Wouldn’t you like to have all of that in your life? Of course, you would want that if you believed that it was possible. I am telling you from all of the work that I have done in coaching people over many decades that it is definitely possible.

Simply reading this book is not going to be enough. You are going to have to take steps and get into action to change your life, which means learning new skills, attitudes, habits and practices. It might mean ditching some habits or attitudes or beliefs that simply are not serving you. It means that you open your eyes and your heart to what is stopping you from having an amazing life. Right now. Why would you wait?

Well, let me be frank with you – there are people who are more committed to suffering and having a bad life (or being the victim). Yes, there are those kinds of people and they will not change their attitudes, beliefs, or the way that they live life. They are simply unwilling to change. There are more people in my experience who are willing to change and who do actually want a better life for themselves. They just don’t know how to get there. This book is for those people who are willing to do something to have a better life. It is not for people who just want to whine and complain about how terrible their life is.

Even if you have experienced tremendous hardship and/or suffering up to this point, it is not too late to get on the road to growth and development. Growth and development is amazing. Please join me because I want you to be well loved. And that starts with you.

I am going to leave you with something that I wrote back in college for a senior send-off when I was about 22 years old. I probably wouldn’t even have this now except that my Mom could see the wisdom in this and saved it for me.

If I Could Give You Anything, I’d give you…

The gift of being able to say "I’m sorry" even when it’s NOT your fault.

The ability to live life to the fullest – no holds barred!

The gift of optimism – or looking at life on the bright side.

The knowledge that with God, you are never alone in this world.

The ability to pick good friends and enjoy their friendship.

The gift of being able to say "I was wrong."

The wisdom to know when to stay and fight and when to cut your losses and leave.

The comfort of knowing that in the worst of times, better days are ahead.

The gift of being able to make mistakes in life, and the even bigger gift of being able to admit it when you do make a mistake.

The gift of enjoying the little things in life like sunshine on a spring day or the bright smile of a total stranger.

The ability to laugh at yourself.

The gift of compassion for other people and their suffering.

The ability to treat all human beings with dignity and respect no matter what their sex, race, religion, age, or disability.

The gift of appreciating how hard your parents worked to provide for you regardless of how well or how poorly they did.

The gift of always being able to play and have fun in life.

The belief that whenever there is a WILL, there is a WAY.

The capacity to push yourself to your outermost limits.

The gift of self-control.

The knowledge that where ever you go, the Lord is with you always.

The gift of many interests and hobbies that give you joy.

The realization that the best things in life are free…a smile, a hug, or a complement on a job well done.

The ability to express yourself freely.

The gift of knowing that no matter how big your problems are, somebody out there is worse off and has bigger problems than you do. (If you doubt this one, just read the newspapers for one week.)

The knowledge that no amount of money can bring you happiness.

The ability to appreciate good advice when it is given.

The ability to recognize evil when it presents itself.

The wisdom of knowing that no matter what you do there will always be at least one person who doesn’t like you.

The belief that you can attain any goal that you set for yourself.

The ability to see yourself as other people see you.

The gift of enjoying being a parent if you choose to become one.

The wisdom not to let fears run your life.

The ability to find lasting happiness from God and from within yourself and not from life’s circumstances.

A healthy respect for life.

The skill of time management for that skill provides infinite freedom.

The ability to recognize negative thoughts when you have them, AND to replace them with more empowering, positive thoughts.

The wisdom and ability to learn from other people’s mistakes.

The ability to cry when you feel like it.

The gift of strong convictions.

The knowledge that if you work hard and are willing to persevere, you can attain any dream you can envision.

The ability to keep your promises and your word.

© 1983 Lisa A. Lundy

Love.Life.

September 4, 2019

I chose the name of my blog to be Love.Life. with intentionality. First and foremost, I LOVE the word Love and everything about Love. I love so many people, groups, organizations, places and things. I am a fan of love and doing all things with great love. Love is the most natural expression of who I am in the world. To me love IS what life is about. For me, Love is what makes life meaningful, colorful and joyful. It is one of my favorite things – loving people, loving moments with people, feeling love, giving love, receiving love. Just love. The point of my blog is to help my readers get back to love, to help you love more, feel love, have love and in particular love your life.

Consider the feelings and emotions that love carries with it – feeling loved, cared for, safe, happy, peaceful, contented, hopeful, joyous, excited, and so much more. There are tons of love songs and songs about love, books on love, movies about love stories, it is a very pervasive subject in our society. What’s not to like about love? Well, the downside of opening your heart to love is being rejected, not being treated well, failing in relationships, getting hurt or your heart broken to name a few of the top risks. Love even in platonic friendships can be risky because even friends can use or exploit you. To be able to love and love freely and deeply carries risk with it. That is a fact of life.

When children are very young, unless they are neglected, abandoned, or treated badly, they are just full of love, openness, curiosity and wonder. As children grow up long before adulthood, they most often experience some hurt, embarrassment, shame, and rejection and as a result they begin to shut down or close off their heart. To be an adult and have your heart wide open, to live life full of curiosity and wonder, to risk failing, to give love openly despite the inherent risks is a lovely way to live life. It is a powerful way to live life. It is how I live my life. Is it how you are living your life?

We have all been hurt in life. Some of us more than others. Many of us have experienced serious trauma, betrayals, exploitation, and worse. And that leaves many people jaded, with trust issues, and more than a little wary of other people. There is a lot of sadness, loneliness, and isolation in our world today. Bad things happen to people. Life is messy. Life is hard. Life can be excruciatingly painful. And then there’s your reaction to life.

By the Grace of God, and I do mean that literally not figuratively, I have not only survived deep difficulties and traumas, but I have come out the other side with my heart intact, able to feel love, be loving, and still have my childlike wonder and excitement about life. While I simply am not able to discuss all of the difficulties and traumas in a public forum, suffice to say that I was told that I would be scarred for life and that I would not come out of it okay.

Hence, I promptly went into psychotherapy to figure out what the damage was, if I had any therapy issues, and get tested for PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), Dissociative Disorder (or something like that), etc. Imagine my surprise, no shock, when the therapist said early on that I was the polar opposite of a person who walks through the doors of the practice for therapy. I was very surprised to learn that my religious beliefs were one of my strongest coping mechanisms! I didn’t know that religion or a strong belief in God could be a way to cope with life. I was released from therapy in short order after the PTSD and Dissociative testing came back negative and it was determined that while I am still in a trauma, that I have the skills and abilities to deal with it. It is a miracle that I have not only survived the difficulties, but have come out a better person because of it. It is a testament to God and God’s Love for me that I have made it through so many hardships and can be happy, loving, and full of energy and a zest for living.

I make no bones about the fact that I am a better person for what I have been through AND I would never wish it on anyone else. Like flowing water softens a sharp rock, going through periods of suffering can make you more loving, more compassionate, more generous, more understanding. The operative word here is CAN. For many people weathering life’s difficulties does not make them become better people. It hardens them or makes them suspicious or jaded. I want to take you on a journey of love and healing where you can heal yourself from your past and whatever happened to you and open yourself to love and having love in your life.

If you believe that you can move from point A, which we will call tolerating life or getting through the day, to point B, which we will call engaged and loving your life, then you will be able to take the actions and make the changes to move yourself from point A to point B. Equally as important if you believe that you cannot change your life – you will not be able to. I am speaking about your belief system and what your beliefs are. The beliefs that you have in either your conscious, subconscious or unconscious mind are running your life whether you realize it or not. How your mind works, in particular the conscious, subconscious and unconscious mind will be the subject of a future post because that is too much ground to cover in this post. The bottom line is you can only get what you believe you can have or what you believe that you deserve.

For some of you, particularly if you have low self-esteem (another topic of a future blog post), to begin to say or think that you deserve to have love, to be loved, or to have a life that you love is a leap that you might not be able or willing to take. And, I am asking you to do that anyway. Religion is all about faith! Faith is defined as either complete trust or confidence in someone or something or strong belief in God or in the doctrine of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof. I am asking you to be open to changing your life for the better because that is why I am here. That is what my blog is for. It’s for you.

And quite frankly, it’s your life. If you are happy with it the way it is, then you don’t need to do a thing. And even if you are unhappy with your life, you can go on being unhappy with your life. It is, after all, your life. It is my assertion that we either grow and develop through a trauma, bad event, accident, health issue, natural disaster, or other unplanned situation OR we grow and develop by choice. Sometimes it happens both ways. In either case, in this instance I am asking you to take on your own growth and development in an intentional manner for the purpose of ramping up your life to have more love, more fun, more freedom and all the benefits that Love has to offer.

So, here’s how it is going to go – or at least this is the plan at this moment in time. I will be taking you on a journey about love and life with the stated intention to help you move to a point where your life is full of love and you love your life. On a weekly basis I will be posting blogs on a wide variety of topics that all relate in some way to loving life. My blog posts will cover a wide variety of topics including self-awareness, emotional quotient, empowerment and time management techniques, books that I love, a good bit on health because it is difficult to love your life if you don’t feel well, and so much more (more details in the About Me post). I know it can be scary, uncomfortable, and disconcerting to begin this process, but I promise you that it is going to be well worth it. I would assert that there is nothing more valuable that you could be using your free time or your energy for.

A few points worth mentioning. I am not into perfectionism at all. Therefore, there will be typos, grammatical errors, improper sentence construction, and likely some points that do not come across well or cause confusion. And you are welcome to point out all of my imperfections in the comment section. I will not be upset. There will be homework assignments in some posts for those of you who are committed and dedicated to having your life go a different way than the trajectory that it is presently on. And they will not be hard assignments, but the ones that I feel are necessary for you to create love, happiness, joy and contentment in your life. For you to love life. I request that you post any questions or just comments on this blog in the comment section because that is the best way for you to get a response.

I want you to join me on a delicious and FUN ride of self-discovery where you take back your power and create a life that you love. A life where you can feel the full complement of emotions and know how to feel all of what life has to offer both the good stuff and the not so happy stuff. It is powerful to be able to grieve sadness. Being able to grieve a loss is part of the process that allows you to get complete and create something new. And grieving is not something that we in society is very good at or something that we talk about much. And sometimes we in society are just not so good at expressing love either.

Point of order: If you happen to know some of the hardships that I have faced in the last few decades, please do not include that in your comments as there are very serious reasons why I am not addressing some things that have happened to me.

Thank you for visiting my blog! Hopefully you will be able to sign up to receive any new posts by email. I leave you with my love for you even though I might not know you. I leave you with my most heartfelt desire that you have a life that you love. I hope you will play with me in creating something new for yourself!

Obstacles & Roadblocks to Being Well Loved

Why Are You Not Well Loved

There are so many obstacles that prevent people from being well loved. Here is my list from my Love.Life. Podcast titled Be Well Loved.

Dysfunctional families, which is 70-96% of American families

Wounds from people, events, situations

Abuse of any kind

Traumas

Trust issues

Disempowering attitudes & beliefs (I can’t win; I don’t deserve it; etc.)

Low self-esteem

Low emotional abilities

Self-sabotage

Self-loathing

Being a negative thinker

Cognitive distortions (like emotional reasoning)

Self-defeating prophecy (the opposite of the self-fulfilling prophecy)

Poor role models or no role models

Belief that you don’t deserve to be loved

Negative experiences with love or friendship

Overthinking or catastrophizing

Unrealistic expectations of others

Not being able to be vulnerable

Being afraid including fear of rejections, fear of failure, etc.

Perfectionist tendencies or being too demanding

False reality or distorted perceptions of self or others

Lack of self-awareness

From the above list I have broken the issues or obstacles stopping you from having love and being well loved into four categories and addressed each category with what is required to bring love into your life so you can be well loved, as discussed in my first podcast.

1. Wounds: Healing is necessary.

Wounds often come from dysfunctional families where love was missing or parents played favorites or there were other things going on that cause pain and hurt. Wounds come from abuse of any kind and traumas. You can also be wounded by a bad experience or from just living life. Wounds in and of themselves can lead a person to take on a disempowering attitude or belief. For example, after a bad experience you could say to yourself: I’m never going to do that again. Or I would rather be alone than risk that again. Wounds can leave you with low self-esteem, a very harsh inner critic (lacking self-compassion), self-loathing and a host of other things that will cut you off from love and life. Wounds can also lead to bad habits or practices that really don’t help you. There is nothing wrong with wounds it’s just that they usually take you out of the game of life. Healing is the medicine for wounds. Much of what I have included in this book is on healing and how to heal.

2. Low emotional abilities: Growing your emotional abilities or your emotional intelligence is required.

Low emotional abilities are often found in dysfunctional families and quite frankly it is one of the number one problems in the world. People just don’t know how to identify, manage and process their own emotions. Low emotional abilities can show up as trust issues, low self-esteem, fears, using emotional reasoning (a cognitive distortion), not being able to be vulnerable, and having misperceptions of others intentions or actions to name a few of the top ways it might look. To have a very functional and happy life you want to be able to identify, manage and process your emotions. You want to have high emotional intelligence because that is truly a superpower. To give you an idea of the type of superpower having high emotional intelligence really is I have included in this chapter a list of the 29 personality traits of people who have high emotional intelligence. That is what you want. Trust me.

3. Personality traits or habits: Change is required.

There are certain personality traits and habits that the majority of people just don’t like. If you have these personality traits it acts as a repellant causing people to want to run away from you. I am very serious. These personality traits or habits are the ones that you will want to change. Examples of personality traits or habits that stop you from being well loved include: being a know-it-all, being self-centered, being an attention seeker, being arrogant, judgmental, or overly opinionated, being a negative thinker, catastrophizing, overthinking, being a perfectionist or too demanding of others, not taking care of yourself and not developing self-compassion (inner critic is too harsh). Many people who have these personality traits can’t recognize them in themselves because they are not self-aware. Self-awareness is a hallmark of having high emotional intelligence, which is lacking in people who cannot accurately assess themselves. All is not lost if you have one or more of these traits because we know from science and neuroplasticity of the brain that people can change, which I discussed briefly in my YouTube video titled You Can Teach an Old Dog New Tricks. You can change. That is an absolute fact.

4. Attitudes and beliefs: Change is required.

Some of the people who are not well loved fall into this situation because they have developed disempowering attitudes or beliefs that stop them from love and life, cut them off from being connected to others, and prevent them from being able to be their authentic and real self. Disempowering attitudes and beliefs can really be stealth in that they are not always on the surface of your consciousness. Sometimes you have to dig to see what is running the show. Regardless, this is definitely an area that prevents people from being well loved, from being happy, and from being highly functional in life.

GROWTH & DEVELOPMENT = ACCESS to LOVE

The access to love is growth and development, which means growing new skills, abilities, habits, practices, attitudes and beliefs. It means change. And it doesn’t have to be hard. It can be fun. I am a fan of making life fun.

From my November 29, 2019 Blog post on the top 45 Ways Personal Growth & Development will help you have a life you love… (a few of the 45)

You will be happier.

You will get freed up from so many things.

You will have less anxiety.

It builds self-esteem and confidence.

It will help you in every area of your life.

It will help you be more authentic and real.

It will help you when life is hard.

It can be very fun.

It makes you more relatable and likeable.

It will help you grow your emotional abilities, which is like a superpower.

People won’t be so annoying anymore.

It is good for your brain.

It builds character.

It is a very high return on your investment of time or energy (the best ROI).

It will help you appreciate yourself and others.

Another way to look at it is through the lens of the benefits to having high emotional intelligence or growing your emotional abilities:

Helpful for depressing situations (broader perspective on handling challenges and problems)

Helps create better and more rewarding relationships with people

Helps you deal with stress more efficiently

Helps reduce anxiety

Helps diffuse conflict

Allows you to empathize with others

Provides calmness and clarity of mind

Allows for better communication

Helps build resilience

Increases confidence

Increases creativity

Builds integrity

Helps you manage change better

Highly correlated with top work performance, promotions and higher pay

Links strongly to love and spirituality

Makes for more effective leaders and managers

Increases performance and productivity

29 Traits of People with High Emotional Intelligence:

They are change agents. (think growth and development)

They are aware of their strengths and weaknesses. (self-aware)

They are empathetic.

They are not perfectionists.

They are balanced and healthy. (sleep and outside, non-work interests)

They are curious. (an inborn sense of wonder and curiosity)

They are gracious and thankful.

They are focused. (not easily distracted)

They are self-motivated.

They do not dwell on the past.

They focus on the positive.

They set boundaries.

They are great at managing their own emotions.

They are creative and deep thinkers. (NOT over-thinkers)

They are hard to offend.

They know when to say no.

They can distinguish between wants and needs.

They can determine the moods and energy of a group.

They think about feelings both their own and others.

They ask others for their perspective.

They pause or know when to pause.

They ask why.

They are open to criticism.

They apologize.

They forgive.

They have an expansive emotional vocabulary.

They respond rather than react.

They show up as their authentic selves.

They handle difficulties better.

Yes, you are going to have to make some changes in your life if you want to be well loved. I suggest that you keep the lists of benefits from this chapter handy and use it as motivation. You are going to want a reward system, which I discuss in the chapter on Empowering Practices, Skills, Habits, Attitudes & Beliefs (Self-Motivation: The Nuts & Bolts of Leveling Up with a Reward System). A personal reward system can help you stay motivated and keep moving forward and I highly recommend them.

Here is the good news: this is not that difficult. Maybe you are overwhelmed at the idea of this, in which case I would suggest that you look at my post on Dealing with Overwhelm in the Chapter on Dealing with Emotions and Problems. Overwhelm is a construct. You might not understand what I mean by a construct, but you will if you read that post. You can actually deal with overwhelm to put it to bed instead of having it show up in your life over and over again.

Make this a fun journey. I am a huge fan of making life fun. Why not? Life is hard. You want to have as much happiness and fun in life as you can because there are enough parts of life that are just hard not matter what you do. It’s time to tackle the obstacles that are holding you back from a life filled with love where you are well loved.

Love & Happiness

Living Life with Your Whole Heart

September 4, 2019

The point and purpose of my blog is to enable you, my beloved readers, to Love Life – to LOVE YOUR LIFE. So, what is living life with your whole heart and why does it matter? When I say living life with your whole heart that encompasses a multitude of things. Is your heart open to people? Is your heart open to life? Is your heart open to love? Can you trust others? Are you engaged in life? Can you be vulnerable with other people? Have you dealt with past hurts and betrayal or other trauma? Are you jaded? How authentic can you be with people? Are you really happy? Do you feel a lot of joy in your life? Do you have good or great health? Are you doing what you want to be doing or biding your time until X, Y, or Z happens? Are you living a life that you love? Another way to look at living life with your whole heart would be getting your act together because to LOVE LIFE requires some level of that.

I want to engage with you on the process of getting from where you are right now to a point where you are happy and engaged and loving life! Even if you feel like your life sucks big time, you will be able to change your life regardless of your circumstances. I know this first hand. Over the course of the coming year I will be blogging about a wide variety of topics that are critical to loving life. I will be giving homework assignments to you and the most courageous of you, the readers who are most committed to having a better life, will actually do the work I am suggesting and reap significant benefits. My promise to you is that if you stay with me (meaning read my blog posts) and do the work required, the homework, that in a year your life will look and feel very different. I have coached enough people at this stage of my life and have done enough significant training and development on myself to know for sure that anyone can do what is necessary to love life and have a life that they love.

While it might seem scary to some of you especially if you have had difficulties, the benefits to taking on your life are enormous! They are so huge! Let me list for you what I feel are the top benefits of living life with your whole heart!

Benefits of Living Life with Your Whole Heart:

You will feel, have or be…

Happy

Peaceful

Powerful

Energetic or energized

LOVE -feeling it, giving it, receiving it

Joy

FUN

Contentment

Freedom

Compassion

Empathy

Forgiveness

Passion/Passionate

Assertive

Focused

Clear headed

Courageous

Improved health

Contributing to others/Making a difference in the world

Generosity

Relationships flourish

Doing things you always wanted to do

What this means if you get the benefits from living life with your whole heart, you will then be experiencing LESS anxiety, fear, resentment, anger, frustration, jealousy, envy, regret, loneliness, boredom, restlessness, and tiredness. While I have been deeply betrayed, lied to, exploited and used, I can still trust people. I can still be vulnerable and open with others. I am fully engaged in life. I am living my life with an open heart. I am doing what I love and I am extremely happy.

I am choosing to