Message to Sons

By Khalil Dosso

This book is about a small part of the author's life. This book is not a parental guide for fathers to implement to their son. This is more of a personal message tailored specifically for my son's to receive. This book is also an explanation on my absence in their life.This book offers some general opinions and advice to the youth on issues that affects man- hood. This book is meant to inspire my son's to be great men and inspire Men to make better decisions when it comes to families.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Khalil Dosso
• Release date: Jun 5, 2021
• ISBN: 9781005869830

Book preview

Contents

Preface

Introduction

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Sub Chapter 1

Sub Chapter 2

Sub Chapter 3

Sub Chapter 4

Sub Chapter 5

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Preface

If it has anything to do with your father, you must learn all you can about it. In the Klingon MajQa ritual, there is nothing more important than receiving a revelation about your father. Your father is part of you, always. Learning about him teaches you about yourself. That is why no matter where he is or what he has done, you must find him.

---- Star trek Lieutenant Wolf.

Introduction

Cutting ties

In life, you have to fight for peace, for inner peace, for ownership, and for your rights. I failed in these aspects with regard to fighting for you. I am extremely guilty. Your mother's cheated on me. Why do I think they cheated on me? Were we officially together? Did I ask them to be my women or did we just kick it so much that it felt like we were together?

When I met my first son's mother. I was actually a virgin, I wasn't stupid, but I was a little naive and I was stubborn. I met her at the Store Walgreens. I was a stock guy and I was operating the cash register. Truth be told, I was on a mission to have fun and sex with the right person. Working at Walgreens, I attempted to get with a lot of women, but when I met your mother, immediately I thought I found what I was looking for. I was hoping she was the right one for me. So, I gave her my number. Unfortunately, your mother called me six months later after meeting her, not even after a few hours or days, it was months later. This was a strong indication that she must have had other things going on at the same time. But I ignored that clue and continued to get to know her.

Despite the fact that your mother called me six months after meeting her, I was still happy she called. From that point on, things proceeded very rapidly between us. Despite our religious differences (I was more spiritual and your mother was more religious), Despite our ideological differences on Black history (I was Afro-centric and I believed Black people need to unite and build from each other economically and politically... Your mother on the contrary just believed in the Bible and coming together from that perspective),Despite my inexperience with dealing with the responsibility of taking care of a household or being independent, Your mother still asked me to live with her and I said yes. At that time, I was 20 and your mother was 28.

Speaking about my oldest child’s mother, she was older than me and much more experienced in life in terms of paying bills, taking care of the household, and even making love. My inexperience is no excuse, my family warned me and advised that I should stay focus, but I ignore them and moved in with a woman that I barely knew. My family questioned my decision and my mother begged me to see that she has 4 children with 2 different men and that picture doesn't look good. My mother and my friends warned me that this picture doesn't look right. But I ignored everybody's logic and I chose to move in with her— I followed my heart.

Living with my first child’s mother, I realized that I made a wrong decision. I moved into a chaotic situation where she owned thousands of dollars to the landlord, was still sleeping with her other son’s father (Her ex), and was struggling with raising her son's with the proper values and discipline that they need in life. Every day, the school would call regarding a behavior issue or an issue regarding picking up the sons from school promptly.

I wanted to make a difference in your mother's life. I wanted to be the rock in her corner, I wanted to stay strong, solid, and unchanging. I wanted to always be relied on for help and support because your mother gave me something that I never felt before.

So, despite the warning from my family and friends, I chose to do my own thing and pursue being with your mother.

Things were very rocky during the time that I was living with her. I realized very quickly that I couldn’t hold her down the way I envisioned. We argued a lot, her son's (your older brothers) misbehaved a lot. Your mother initiated me to be the man of the house. Your mother pushed for us to get married. Your mother wanted me initially to Discipline your older

Brothers, which I was uncomfortable with at first, but then, I reluctantly accepted that responsibility but I was wrong because I was not a man for such responsibility, there is a difference because I was also undisciplined and still a growing, maturing, and inexperienced young man.

I believe I should have known better because the way my father treated me was tough and I thought that was the solution to fixing your older brother's behavior. Oh, how wrong I was. It basically made them hate me. I mean I wasn't always tough, I remember days when I took them to the park to play basketball or when I took them to the Prospect Park Zoo to see the animals. But for the most part, they saw us argue and they were around some traumatic incidents before I arrived, which made inevitable for me to fail.

I Should have also never tried to discipline your older brothers because that did not work, as it made the situation worse. Your brothers didn't want me around and your mother, and they did what they could to break your mother and me up. Eventually, your mother didn't want me to discipline your older brothers again. I complied and when I didn't, I got kicked out of the house. That's right, I was wrong for being tough on your older brothers. I hope they forgive me.

Apart from that, your mother and I did get married after I moved in. We went down to City Hall and used the tax money I got from filing together to purchase two wedding rings. We went downtown on a beautiful spring day to do this. We both said yes to the pastor when he asked do we take each other to be husband and wife. However, during the next 30 days of getting married, we did not grow functionally and healthy. We allowed the temporary marriage certificate to expire and did not complete the marriage process. On top of that, we argued and your mother kicked me out of the house a couple of times.

When your mother cheated on me, she cried and begged for me to forgive her. When I left the house to move back with my mother, your mother came to my house, got on