Struggling To Keep The Vows E-Book

By Eric and Dr. Sakeisha Hylick

“Struggling to Keep the Vows” is a powerful collaboration of 10 individuals and their journeys to have happy, healthy, fulfilling marriages, but bold enough to reveal the challenges that they experienced along the way. It is no secret, that the majority of couple’s struggle to keep their vows at some point during their marriage. Life’s issues impact marriages regardless of their educational status, or socioeconomic status. Marriage can be a beautiful thing, but in all honesty, mistakes will be made, tempers will flare, and we may encounter unexpected challenges along the way, but that does not mean that divorce is the only option. Manifesting the marriage that you desire, begins with a mindset shift. Once a couple has committed to heal from painful past experiences, that is when the real transformation begins. The strategies you implement today can impact the results you see in your marriage going forward. This book will encourage you to begin paving the path to a happy, healthy fulfilling marriage, even if you have struggled to keep your vows. What is in this book? * Interviews with ten courageous authors * Personal stories of challenges that each author has experienced * The strategies used to overcome the challenges the authors experienced * Transparency regarding decisions the authors would have made differently * Mindset principles that the authors have implemented because of their struggles * Encouragement for couples that are Struggling to Keep the Vows

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: May 10, 2021
• ISBN: 9781667105000

Book preview

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Introduction

truggling to Keep the Vows" is a powerful collaboration of 11 individuals who are transpar- ent about their journeys to have happy, healthy,

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fulfilling marriages, but honest enough to divulge the chal- lenges that they encountered along the way. The Struggling to Keep The Vows Project was birthed from a desire to create a greater degree of transparency within the marital rela- tionship. Oftentimes, couples go into marriage ill-equipped with the tools and strategies necessary for their relation- ships to be successful. Let us be real. Most couples invest more time planning for a wedding that lasts for a day than for a marriage to last for a lifetime. They stand before others reciting: To have and hold, for better or for worse, in sick- ness and in health, until death do us part, without under- standing exactly what those vows mean. Our vows are a promise, a commitment to one another. We have so many couples who are suffering in silence, contemplating ending their marriage over issues that can be addressed. Struggling to Keep the Vows is a conversation that needs to take place in all relationships. Without the proper tools and strategies, couples are at an increased risk of becoming stagnant in their relationship. Over the course of a marriage, mistakes will be made, tempers will flare, but that does not mean that the relationship is over.

Introduction

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.

~ Barnett Brickner

Eric and Dr. Sakeisha Hylick

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Eric and Dr. Sakeisha Hylick

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ric and Dr. Sakeisha Hylick, Authors, Speakers and Relationship Success Strategists are the visionaries for the Struggling to Keep the Vows Project. These College

sweethearts met on the highest of Seven Hillsat Florida A & M University (FAMU) 26 years ago. It was at FAMU that Eric received his Bachelor’s Degree in Computer Informa- tion Systems before obtaining his MBA in Project Manage- ment Dr. Sakeisha is also a FAMU Graduate with a Bache- lor’s Degree in Chemistry, and Doctorate in Pharmacy. Eric is a native of Ft. Pierce, Florida, while his wife, Dr. Sakeisha was born In New York but raised in South Carolina. Together, Eric and Dr. Sakeisha Educate, Empower and Encourage husbands and wives on how to WIN in their marriage when they focus on improving in three key areas: Communication, Finances and Sex. Whether you are experiencing challenges in your relationship spiritually, emotionally, and/or finan- cially, the Hylicks deliver proven systems to break unpro- ductive behavioral patterns and create lifelong change. Both Eric & Dr. Sakeisha are the products of single parent homes and made it their mission in life not to walk in their family’s generational curse of divorce. They are committed to creat- ing a marriage that will survive when other marriages tend to fail. This anointed couple knows firsthand what it means to:

Eric and Dr. Sakeisha Hylick

The Hylicks have been featured guest speakers and conference hosts throughout the Southeast Regions of the

U.S. to the West Coast and in Hawaii. They are extremely passionate about seeing couples thrive in their marriages and not just survive!

What have been two of the top challenges in which you and your spouse have struggled to keep the vows? How did you overcome them?

Eric: Hands down, finances and infidelity. To be honest, we had a tendency of overspending. There is no way to clean it up or justify it. We needed to do better. When we both were employed, we did not consider the long term ramifications of our decisions. If we saw something that we wanted, we bought it. That was our mindset until I got laid off, then it hit us like a ton of bricks. We were spending money as if we had an unlimited stream of income. My first layoff was only for a few months. My second layoff was for 3 years. Talk about a couple having to learn how to adhere to a budget really quick! Our first child was on the way and our dream home was already under construction. Those experiences were truly a wakeup call for me!. I would see the numbers, but my

Eric and Dr. Sakeisha Hylick

wife was NOT accustomed to living on a budget, so that trig- gered lots and lots of disagreements. Consequently, I strongly urge all couples to connect with a financial services advisor, to help them avoid many of the common mistakes we made. After the third layoff, yes I said third, we had perfected the art of living on a budget.

Please do not wait until a lay off or unexpected finan- cial setback transpires in order for the two of you to take control of your finances. Couples need to become more proactive instead of reactive. No more excuses! Get control of your finances today! If the two of you can live based on one income, that is ideal. Our second and by far the most difficult challenge was the drastic difference in our sexual needs. My wife was not very experienced sexually, therefore, her expec- tations and sexual drive was drastically different from what I was accustomed to. We were polar opposites. It took her eons to really learn about sex and live up to my expecta- tions of a fulfilling sex life. So, like many men, I became frus- trated with what I perceived to be a lack of attraction to me aka rejection and started seeking attention outside of the marriage. Before you know it I resorted to past patterns that were comfortable to me. Behaviors that made me feel like I was desirable and the man. Ultimately, these foolish decisions led me to connect with an old girlfriend via social media, who knew exactly what a man wanted to hear and promised to fill the void physically that I felt was missing in my marriage. All I can say is, that was one of the biggest

Eric and Dr. Sakeisha Hylick

mistakes of my life. One word of advice to the men out there. It is not worth it! It almost cost me my marriage, my best friend, my children, our future! One key take away from this is that the grass is NOT Greener on the other side. The time I spent reaching out to someone else should have been spent talking to my wife, Not at my wife! I have learned that it’s not what you say but how you say it. Here is one key strategy that I learned to implement, as a man, calm down, put my personal feelings aside and actually explain to your wife how you are feeling. Your wife is not a mind reader and neither are you. It is not reasonable for me to expect her to think and act like others in my past. They are my past for a reason. I would not appreciate her asking me to think or behave like another man from her past; therefore I had to treat her with the same level of respect. Once I communicated to her,