Surrendering All

By Joshua J. Cordero

The true story of a young man who experiences a series of supernatural events when God tells him to leave home for a place he's never been on the other side of the world. With his pregnant wife at his side and no clear understanding of their purpose, the family leaves their security, comforts and all they've ever known to begin a journey like nothing they've ever embarked on. As the path before them unfolds they are confronted by a deadly force and the small family find themselves at the crossroads of ultimate victory and absolute despair.

 

Surrendering All recounts modern day adventures, daring heroism, sacrifice, devastating loss and miracles in the face of impossible odds. It chronicles the incredible journey of a young family as they experience what it means to trust God completely, walk in the supernatural and risk everything in the process.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Joshua Cordero
• Release date: Jun 19, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201660369

Joshua J. Cordero

Joshua J. Cordero is a filmmaker, writer and photographer that has journeyed all over the world. He has worked as a freelancer for over sixteen years creating or capturing stories under his company, REMSCAPE®. Joshua lives in Central Valley, California with his family. In his spare time he enjoys writing letters, journaling, playing with his family, capturing the world around him and visiting new places.

Book preview

PROLOGUE

I know this is going to sound strange, but I’m supposed to tell you that the numbers one and nine are going to be important to you soon.

I hesitated to respond to the ludicrous statement. Ironically, it was the nineteenth. May 19, 2014 to be precise. We were celebrating my twenty-ninth birthday with my family, despite the fact that it was actually the following day. Regardless of the occasion, it felt like there was a lot to celebrate with all that had taken place in the last month and everything that had been set in motion. The very thought of the future was an adrenaline-inducing mixture of fear and excitement. Up until that point the celebration had been typical of most birthdays. We consumed food, laughed, played games, and ate cake with ice cream. When it was time to open my gifts, my mother presented me with a large, decorative cross. Written on it was a Bible verse: Joshua 1:9 Be strong and courageous...for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. It was a beautiful and sentimental gift, especially given what my wife, Allison, and I were about to step into. I had been taking in the design of the cross when my mother made the comment about the numbers one and nine.

My tone was sarcastic when I asked her, Are they important because that’s today’s date and those are the numbers on this cross?

My mother laughed and shook her head. I’d just call that a coincidence...or maybe it isn’t.

I tried to take her declaration seriously, despite how odd it seemed. If anyone else had told me this, I would dismiss it as lunacy, but I trusted her. I knew my mom would never say it unless she felt convicted to do so, and she had never said anything like that before.

Okay...so how and why are they going to be important? I asked.

I don’t know, but they will be. And soon. That’s all I know, she said, laughing a little. God told me they would be.

I didn’t know what to say. Despite trusting her, I had a hard time believing her. Even with all the weird things that had happened in our lives recently, this seemed farfetched. We didn’t speak about the matter again that evening and after a sincere thank you for my gifts, Allison and I left for home, where we fell asleep with nothing out of the ordinary taking place.

Later that night, after just a few hours of sleep, I awoke suddenly. It was officially May 20, my birthday. Feeling suddenly compelled to read my Bible, I sat upright and grabbed it from the nightstand, as Allison continued to sleep soundly next to me. Unsure of what to read, I opened my Bible randomly and, of all places, the pages revealed the book of Joshua. I was intrigued. Was this random or ordained? I wondered as I began to read.

I had opened to a section that is often referred to as the inheritance chapters. In them, Joshua had been leading the Israelites in a massive military campaign to claim what God had told them was their promised land. Their prize was occupied by many enemies who wanted to see the Israelites wiped out. Joshua led the Israelite army in battle after battle against superior enemy nations, with many miraculous victories, until they had indeed conquered their promised land. At the point where I was reading, the leaders of the Israelite nation were dividing the land into allocated portions as an inheritance and reward for their victory. More specifically, I found myself reading the part where Joshua himself was telling everyone what he wanted. ...By command of the Lord they gave him the city that he asked, Timnath Serah in the hill country of Ephraim. And he rebuilt the city and settled in it. The name of the town Joshua asked for made me take pause. It seemed like a Hebrew name. I was curious what it meant. I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and was about to search for, What does Timnath Serah mean? and then I froze. An experience unfolded in a way that had not happened before and has never happened since.

In the past, I had very clearly felt God impress something on my heart during a few occasions. I had experienced supernatural dreams before, been given prophetic words and had thoughts or ideas I knew were from God, but none of that compared to what happened next. The hair on my arms stood up and an electric-like current filled my body. A voice spoke in my mind and ignited a feeling in me that words cannot explain. The voice said, Map it.

I never paused to second guess the voice or even stopped to wonder what was happening to me. Instead, I exited my web browser and opened my map application. Then, I typed Timnath Serah and pressed search. My phone searched for a few moments before locating a single match in the entire world. A small street in Albany Heights, New Zealand. Then, just as clearly as before, the voice spoke again. This time it said, Go there. The feeling of electricity dissipated, and the voice said no more. I shook my head, dumbfounded. I rose from my bed and paced back and forth in our bedroom while still carrying my phone and Bible.

This just didn’t make sense. I began to convince myself that perhaps I had been dreaming or more simply this was a result of my imagination. Eventually, I sat down and opened my Bible to reread the passage in Joshua. What I found made me weak at the knees. I was astonished. My heart was racing, and I realized for the first time that the passage that contained the Timnath Serah reference was the fiftieth verse in Joshua chapter nineteen. My mother’s prophecy of the numbers one and nine being important had already come to pass. My legs shook as I made my way to our bed to wake up Allison.

Allison! I said, shaking her gently but quickly. She woke and seemed immediately confused by the urgency in my voice.

What is it? she asked.

I think God wants me to go to New Zealand.

Part 1

SURRENDER

CHAPTER 1

February 15, 2005 - A rather unremarkable date considering that it is the day after Valentine’s Day. The day before, I had been moping because I didn’t have a date or even a female friend who wanted to share the day with me. After Valentine’s Day I had become an overnight expert in self-pity. I was looking forward to the distraction the evening’s event would provide.

It was my Sophomore year of college at Fresno Pacific University in Central California. There in the basement level of Kriegbaum Hall was the smallest theater room you can possibly imagine, capable of holding a mere sixty people. I would be meeting a group of less than a dozen college students and one instructor for the very first rehearsal of the college presentation of, The Importance of Being Ernest by Oscar Wilde. Theater was nothing new to me. I had a long history with the theater and had been in several Broadway-style productions. I had even studied at an exclusive acting academy during my high school years. Despite being a Sophomore in college, this was my first year living on campus and, after having a rough first semester, the thought of participating in a college play seemed like familiar territory; a place with people of similar interests, where I could belong.

As I entered the theater room and scanned the other actors and actresses, I was surprised to see only two people that I recognized, and only one of whom whose name I knew. This first rehearsal was more of a meet and greet for the cast who would be spending a lot of evenings with each other over the coming weeks. I was excited to have won the part of Jack/Ernest (one of the lead roles) and was curious who was playing my character’s love interest, Gwendolyn. I had barely introduced myself to the girl playing Lady Braknall, my character’s intimidating mother-in-law to be, when the director asked us all to take our seats in the metal chairs that had been set up in a circle.

I had just sat down when an attractive girl caught my attention. For a few moments I held my breath in anticipation as I hoped she would take the chair alongside me. When she did, I finally exhaled. The girl was petite and fair-skinned, with a beautiful narrow face and hair pulled back in a ponytail. After taking in her physical beauty, I couldn’t help but notice just how much of the color pink she was wearing. She was practically an explosion of pink.

Our director spoke with a reserved enthusiasm about the process of rehearsing, line memorization and important milestones for the play. The information she shared was relatively important, but I couldn’t help sneaking as many glances as possible at the pink-covered girl next to me. She suddenly turned to face me as I was looking at her. I awkwardly turned my attention back to our director a little too quickly. The attempt at discretion did nothing to fool her. Her gaze rested on me for a few moments, which I pretended to ignore, before she also looked back at the director. In my peripheral vision her expression was impossible to read. After a few minutes, I was determined to conquer my shyness and I turned to look at the exquisite woman more directly. She slowly turned to look back at me as a smile began to spread across her lips. Her eyes met mine and we chuckled at each other. My heart raced as I suspected (maybe hoped is the better word) that there was a mutual attraction between us.

The rehearsal concluded shortly after that and the group began to disperse. I immediately took the opportunity to introduce myself to the young woman, who said her name was Allison. We engaged in small talk for a short while before walking out of the basement theater and up a steep staircase together. I discovered we were both Christians, were born in the same city and even had a lot of the same friends from back home. Outside it was dark, chilly, and quiet. For a short while we discussed the play. Interestingly enough, Allison had no acting or theater experience of any kind and had merely accompanied a friend to her audition. To help her nervous friend, Allison had agreed to audition with her, with no expectation she would win a role. Yet, the auditions concluded with Allison being cast in the play. After twenty minutes we said goodnight to each other.

As Allison walked away, I suddenly had the growing urge to say something, anything, to get her to stay. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye and was desperate to spend just a few more minutes with this woman. Allison was walking further from me and the opportunity to say something was imminently closing. In that moment, I made one of the best decisions of my life.

I called out, Hey, Allison! She stopped and turned to face me. Would you like to go grab a cup of coffee with me? I asked.

Allison chuckled to herself; my heart sank as I had no idea if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Sure! she said. Just give me about fifteen minutes. Meet me in front of the East Hall building.

Great! I said excitedly.

We grabbed coffee at a local bookstore and coffeehouse and walked through the aisles of books, talking until the store closed.  We continued to walk around the closed outlets late into the night and I found myself quickly smitten with Allison’s beauty, playfulness and especially her laugh. Her laughter was like music to my ears and thankfully she found me humorous and pleasant enough company to remain by my side for a few hours.

Shortly after our first meeting, Allison was sick with a cold and I was eager to take every opportunity to help and get her anything she needed. 

I texted her, I can ditch class and come take care of you.

As soon as I hit send, I regretted it, worrying about how that sounded, but Allison promptly messaged back, I like the idea of you taking care of me.

Her response made me jump in the air! Yes! I proclaimed to myself.

I brought Allison hot soup, a soft pillow that was in the shape of a yellow smiley face, and even bought a copy of the movie Moulin Rouge to watch together.

As the DVD menu booted up on the television I sat beside Allison and asked, May I put my arm around you?

Allison laughed. You’re cute. Go ahead. It was the first time we cuddled up together.

As we got to know each other, I found out that Allison’s birthday was coming up. I was desperate to make a sweet gesture, but my income was very limited. I had no idea what to do for her that was adequate and yet realistic. Then, I had an idea. I took poster-sized art paper and borrowed a case of stencils and markers from an art-student friend. It took me hours, but I made several large banners that each contained a few colorful words. When arranged together, they comprised a playful statement that wished Allison a happy birthday. Allison lived several floors up in a campus building, so I spaced the banners out with the first just outside the door of her dorm, followed by the rest that continued through the hallway and down the staircase I knew she took to get outside. It was excessive; and yet every girl who lived on the West side of that floor saw the banners and thought it was the sweetest thing. Allison, a little embarrassed from the very public gesture, thankfully found it sweet as well. Her birthday gift became the talk of the campus that day and it didn’t end there. That weekend I took her out to the theater to see a romantic-comedy and we had dinner at one of her favorite Chinese restaurants before I finally professed my romantic fondness for her. We began a romantic relationship shortly after that and were mutually smitten with one another.

Allison possessed an authenticity that I treasured. She was real in every sense of the word. You could expect her to remain true to herself and her values no matter who she was with. She loved Jesus and refused to compromise her beliefs or values in any way. She also had a fanatical level of integrity and it shone brightly. When she gave herself to someone or something, she gave everything she had. She was committed, intelligent, creative, and hard working. Allison really was everything I wanted in a woman. I was quickly falling in love with her and her beauty, inside and out.

We continued to date while taking drastically different paths in our lives. Allison decided to enroll in a degree completion program at Fresno Pacific to expedite her education in early childhood development. From the age of twelve, I knew I wanted to be a filmmaker. After taking every filmmaking class the university offered, I wasn’t sure I wanted to go through two years of general education before being able to graduate and pursue my career. I decided to drop out and start my own freelance filmmaking business instead.

We dated for nearly a year-and-a-half, until the summer of 2006, when I purchased an engagement ring. My second cousin was getting married in Wisconsin and Allison had never traveled out of the state before. I thought it would be an exciting opportunity for her to travel with me and, more importantly, to ask Allison the single most important question I’d ever ask her. My cousin’s wedding was marvelous, and Allison joined in with my family like she belonged with them. I confided to my Great Uncle Scott my plans to propose to Allison and asked for his help in locating the perfect place to do so. He took me for a ride through Milwaukee and after driving for about an hour we found ourselves beside Lake Michigan. A building caught my eye that was unlike anything I had ever seen. The Milwaukee Art Museum looked like a porcelain whale’s tail. I was captivated by its beautiful architecture and the long bridge that connected the rest of the city to the museum. The bridge was built over pristinely manicured grounds that surrounded a long, artistic waterfall. It seemed like the perfect place to ask Allison to marry me.

On June 5, 2006, Allison and I were halfway across the bridge that led to the art museum. My Great-Uncle distracted the rest of my family while I abruptly pulled Allison towards me on the bridge and told her, I love you very much.

Allison smiled up at me, I love you very much.

She kissed me and then began to pull away from me, eager to go inside the art museum, but I held onto her. Allison looked at me curiously for a moment before saying, Come on. I want to go inside.

Looking into the stunning eyes of the woman I loved, I inhaled sharply and said, I love you, Allison, and I want to spend the rest of my life loving you.

Tears formed in my eyes as I dropped to one knee and pulled out the engagement ring. Allison gasped as I took her hand and held the ring to the tip of her ring finger.

Allison Victoria Carvalho, will you marry me? I asked.

Yes, Allison said, before crying joyfully as I slid the ring onto her finger.

I stood and we embraced and kissed. After a few moments, our kiss was interrupted by excited screaming and clapping. We looked up to see my family waving at us enthusiastically and taking pictures from the end of the bridge.

Our engagement lasted for nearly another year-and-a half. We longed to be married and live together, but we waited because we were both determined to accomplish certain educational and financial milestones before beginning our married lives. It was a challenging time.

Finally, on November 3, 2007, at Koinonia Church in Hanford, California we exchanged vows and became husband and wife. Our wedding was truly a perfect day. Allison could not stop crying happily as we said our vows.

Sorry, Allison whispered to me as she wiped tears from her cheeks for the fifth time. I’m just so happy. We both laughed. We’re getting married! Allison said beaming.

Everything came together perfectly, and we found ourselves enveloped in the joy of finally being husband and wife. We were so distracted by one another that we completely forgot to walk through the reception tables and greet our friends and family. Later, realizing our oversight, I thanked everyone for coming during my toast and had to leave it at that. Allison and I were finally together and nothing else mattered that day. We were so smitten and simply couldn’t stop smiling at each other.

As we moved together during our first dance, I told Allison, Thank you.

Allison cocked her head, For what?

For marrying me.

I took in Allison’s beauty and marveled at the reality that I was now married to this incredible woman. You’re amazing, Allison. Thank you for saying yes when I asked you to marry me. Thank you for choosing to experience life with me as your companion.

Thanks for asking me to be your companion. I love you, Joshua. Allison said smiling before kissing me.

Allison and I were delighted to finally embark on the journey of being husband and wife. We had just taken the first step on the path that would take us to the crossroads of indescribable joy and absolute despair. 

CHAPTER 2

Married life was a mixture of delights, challenges, transitions, excitement, disappointments, passion, and sacrifice. At first, we encountered some unmet expectations as we navigated the process of transitioning from individuals to becoming half of a new whole. We were deeply in love but realized marriage does indeed require a substantial amount of work. The words of our pastor, Tim Howard, would echo throughout our married lives and be a source of encouragement when our love was strained.

On our wedding day, Tim explained that there are two kinds of love, ...an emotional love and a devotional love. Emotional love is entered into by desire while devotional love is entered into by a decision. So, when you don’t feel like loving each other, decide to love one another. That decision is going to lead to a deeper and more devoted love than you can imagine. He followed that statement with the single best example of devotional love there is...the sacrifice that Jesus made for mankind. He said, Jesus loved humanity enough to die for them, but that love was in no way out of desire. In fact, as Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane He had pleaded with His Father to deliver Him from the pain and torment that was to come. He concluded His prayer and said, ‘Not my will but yours be done.’ Jesus did not desire to have his flesh ripped open, his body nailed to a cross and then drained of blood. He made a decision. That decision is the perfect demonstration of love today.

Make no mistake, our marriage was full of desire, but it was far from perfect and there were moments when that desire would dim. It was in these moments we decided to love one another, and those decisions fueled our desire for one another in every way.

We moved into a small three-bedroom house that ended up being next door to my parents. Thankfully, Allison was great friends with my mom and dad, so she didn’t mind the close proximity. After graduating with a Bachelor’s Degree in Early Childhood Development, Allison got a job as the Director of King Christian School’s newly revamped Preschool. I was now a freelance filmmaker and also worked as a videographer and media specialist at our home church. We adopted a chocolate Labrador Retriever that Allison named Lilo and she would remain at my feet for many hours while I edited videos out of our spare bedroom. Allison helped out with my business during her summers off and quickly learned the ins-and-outs of the filmmaking process. She had a knack for it, and we loved working with one another. As a hobby, we began writing and filming a few short films with friends. Allison and I would frequently play parts in our video sketches opposite each other, and it became a cherished collaboration.

Hosting hangouts and gatherings with friends was one of our favorite things to do as a couple. While Allison was a very girly girl, she held her own with the boys. Of the many couples we counted as friends, Allison was the only woman who had an interest in video games. I regularly hosted gaming nights with half a dozen other guys and Allison would join in and quite frequently wipe the floor with every one of us.

As often as our time and finances would allow us to, we traveled. We journeyed all over the United States. Hawaii was our favorite destination. Some of our friends pointed out that when they watched Allison and I together we acted as if we had our own language and lived in our own world. Even in a crowd of friends, our favorite person to be with was each other. Allison and I could easily entertain ourselves to no end.

We had developed a series of code words and gestures to communicate things between the two of us. Allison and I had become so intimately familiar with one another, we knew each other’s thoughts. If one of us asked something like: What are you thinking?, What’s wrong?, How do you feel about this? or even if we just looked at each other knowingly, the other person would sometimes make the gesture of lifting their index finger in the air and bending it down and up quickly, which meant: You know me and you know exactly what I’m thinking and feeling. There’s no need for words.

Allison and I continued making short films and various original content through our business but struggled to find our niche. We were ambitious, wanting to do more, and were driven to create something that honored God. However, we weren’t sure of what projects to pursue with our time and resources. It had been a dream of mine to make a movie, and Allison and I longed to make something together, but for years we made little progress.

On September 6, 2009, we attended a social gathering that consisted of fellow employees at our home church and their spouses. The guest of honor was a pastor and prophetic minister named Bobby Hill who had spoken at our church earlier that morning. We spent time together worshipping God, encouraging one another, and praying. Then Bobby went around the group sharing prophetic words to certain individuals and couples. He turned towards us and asked us to sit down in the middle of the group. We were excited as we waited for him to speak to us.

Bobby was silent and closed his eyes for a few moments as he sat directly in front of us. Then, he spoke, This is for Joshua and Allison. The picture I receive in my spirit, is of a potter, an artist, a craftsman. I just see the artist’s hands around the shaping of this vessel. I feel the Spirit of the Lord is saying that He’s been working on the shaping of your lives for a long time, even before you were conscious of His activity in your lives. The Lord just wants to give each of you the assurance of knowing that He is the master craftsman, and you are a product of His hands. The Lord wants you to know that He made no mistakes when He laid out the plan for your lives. Your marriage, your relationship, your calling, and your future, none of those have been by omission or mistake, but the Lord wants you to know that it has been with His intention. He says, ‘For surely, my son and daughter, you are the product of divine creation. Surely, my son and my daughter, your marriage is the product of My sovereign orchestrating of events and circumstances to bring your paths together. For surely, I am the potter and yes, you are the clay pots and clay vessels. I am in the process of shaping and making and building something special out of your lives. And surely the purpose of your lives as vessels will not be self-consumed. Do not question my plans and do not question even the orders I issue forth. And I say unto you, my son and my daughter, there shall be transitions and changes and there shall even be upheaval and there shall be unexpected developments in your life, in which it shall even cause you to shake to the very core and you shall say, ‘My God, what’s happening? Why are we being put through this? Why are we in this situation? Why do we have to make this decision? Why do we have to go through this change?’ And the Lord says, ‘Never question the Potter’s intentions, because my hands are around you and I am shaping, and yes I will even reshape and break and remake several times so that I may have just the right vessels. For I have taken you at your word when you said, ‘We surrender to your plan, Heavenly Father’. Because you have spoken it and because you have given me that freedom in your lives, I shall take advantage of your availability. Rejoice in this fact tonight: that your lives have purpose, that your lives have a future and meaning and significance. And yes, I will bless you and you shall bear children and you shall increase as a family, and yes, much shall come of your lives and your family as you are extending into this community and beyond; into the places that I send you.’ I feel like the Lord is saying, ‘Pack your bags’ not as if it’s a command for tonight, but ‘Pack your bags, prepare your traveling gear, because I am going to begin to mobilize you in days to come. I’ll grant you wisdom if you will seek me. I’ll grant you direction if you will ask and I will provide your needs. You need not fear that your material needs be met. For I say even when there seems to be no bread and there is no drink, I will provide for you even as I provided for my servants in times of old. You shall live even at times supernaturally, from the hand of your Provider. For I will prove myself to you for you are my product and you will bring great glory to me’, says the spirit of God. Bless them tonight, Jesus. Seal your word to their hearts. Bring encouragement and affirmation to them tonight. Strengthen their resolve. In the mighty name of Jesus.

Having never received a prophetic word before, we were a wreck. Allison and I were crying, excited for the future and eager to experience what God had in store for our lives.

Despite our amazing encounter with the Holy Spirit through Bobby Hill, life continued as it had with few surprises and it wasn’t long before our thoughts of this prophecy, the promises it entailed and even the powerful experience itself, would fade.

I continued to build my filmmaking company and eventually worked as a freelancer full-time. Allison developed a great passion for ballet and worship dancing.

She believed dance was a forgotten form of praise to God and loved to incorporate it into worship. That passion took her across the country as she studied dance in workshops and classes before beginning a dance ministry at our church. Dance was both something she loved as well as her personal ministry.

In addition, Allison treasured children. They were not only her profession as a teacher, but she had such a big heart for them. For five years she reveled in every moment she had to spend with her students as she taught them and led scores of them to give their hearts to Jesus. After five very fulfilling years at Kings Christian School she believed it was time for a transition. Our filmmaking business was busier than ever, and I faced a serious need to hire someone full-time. Since Allison had worked alongside me during her summers off, she had developed professional-level skills as both a camera operator and an editor, despite having no training or experience prior to meeting me. We had discussed the idea of working together, a prospect many of our friends and family warned us would be detrimental to our marriage. We were told we would look at one another as co-workers and not romantic partners. To us, though, the idea of being together more often and being companions in life, love, creativity, and business seemed exciting.

In April 2013, Allison announced her retirement from teaching and the beginning of her career as a full-time filmmaker. Becoming partners in nearly every way ended up being one of the single best decisions we made as a couple. We found we thrived creatively and professionally together, and our shared business grew and prospered. Life was good.

On August 11, 2013, I received some very unexpected but delightful news. Allison approached me with a small golden colored box with a ribbon tied around it.

I have a surprise for you she said.

After slowly untying the ribbon, I lifted the lid to find a positive pregnancy test with the words, I’m pregnant! You’re going to be a daddy! written around it.

After over five years of marriage Allison was pregnant with our first child. Both of us were ecstatic! I always thought I would be nervous or even afraid when I would discover I was going to be a father. I wanted children but never quite felt prepared for the responsibility. In that moment though I reacted