How To Meet Your Perfect Match: Includes Over 50 Tried and Tested Strategies You Need To Attract a Relationship That Works

By Candy Marina Jannetta

Being single can be tough: whether you're hoping to meet someone during your day-to-day, being set up on dates by friends or Internet dating, it can feel impossible to get right. Bad dates and rejection can be overwhelming. That is why hundreds of people have turned to Candy Jannetta for help. She knows what it feels like to think you're never goin

• Language: English
• Publisher: Essencial
• Release date: Oct 13, 2014
• ISBN: 9780957023512

Book preview

Published by Essencial Publishing

Second edition, 2014

Candy Jannetta, Copyright © 2009

Candy Jannetta has asserted her moral right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as author of this work.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN 978-0-9570235-0-5

The author and the publisher have made every effort to seek permission from all those quoted to reproduce their words. If you believe that any quotation violates a copyright you hold or represent, we will immediately remove it upon notification pending good faith resolution of any dispute, and seek to rectify any errors in any subsequent editions.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recorded or otherwise

without written permission from the publisher.

Book Cover Design by Jem Butcher

Photography by Katy McDonnell

Typeset by Electric Reads (www.electricreads.com)

[e-mail]

www.howtomeetyourperfectmatch.com

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1

How to overcome destructive relationship patterns

Step 1: Gain awareness of your relationship patterns

Step 2: Understand why you are repeating these patterns

Step 3: Identify the warning signals of your destructive patterns

Step 4: Create an image of a healthy relationship for yourself

Step 5: Build your self-esteem

Step 6: Say no!

Chapter 2

Letting go of past relationships to make way for future ones

Ten signs you are holding on to a past relationship

Three tough truths

How to let go of past relationships

Chapter 3

Your perfect match – what’s holding you back from meeting The One

Common limiting beliefs about relationships

What is a belief?

How you can overcome your limiting beliefs

Chapter 4

How to get the relationship you want

Why you need to know what you want in a relationship

The four problems with making a list

How to identify what you want

Core values – their importance and how they impact on your relationships

Why having a shared vision is so important

How to ensure you don’t attract another Mr or Mrs Wrong

When you should discover if your date is a potential perfect match

How you can work out if your date is a potential perfect match

How to identify if you share any core values

How to identify if you share a similar vision

Chapter 5

Building dating confidence

Is lack of confidence affecting your chances of meeting your perfect match?

How to feel confident about who you are

How to feel confident about your appearance

How to feel confident about your appeal to the opposite sex

Recommended reading

Chapter 6

Dating success

How to attract and approach the opposite sex

How to communicate confidence through body language

What to do when you feel confident and have the other person’s attention

How to handle and deal out rejection

How to make the most of first dates

What to say on a first date

What to wear on a first date

Where to go on a first date

What do you do at the end of a date?

Do you kiss on a first date?

How to behave in the initial dating stages

Surviving the infatuation stage

Chapter 7

Where and how to meet your perfect match

How to create a dating strategy

Where to meet the opposite sex

Where not to meet the opposite sex

How to get the most out of online dating

Online dating myths

Overcoming your barriers to online dating

The advantages of online dating

The dos and don’ts of online dating

Writing your online profile

Your online photo

Creating the right username

Choosing the right dating site

Online love stories

How to get the most out of speed dating

How speed dating works

The dos and don’ts of speed dating

How to get the most out of introduction agencies

Dos and don’ts of using an introduction agency

Chapter 8

Maximizing your chances of meeting your perfect match

Eight ways to stay motivated while searching for your perfect match

The fourteen mistakes to avoid in the early stages of a relationship

How to tell if he/she is into you

Fourteen ways to maintain a healthy relationship

Why you should never give up on your dream of meeting your perfect match

Disclaimer

Acknowledgements

INTRODUCTION

Dear Reader,

Thank you for buying this book and well done for taking an important step towards meeting your perfect match.

I have seen and met increasing numbers of men and women who, like you, are looking for more than a companion or partner; they are looking for their perfect match. It took me more than 15 years to meet my perfect match and I had a hard time along the way. Now every single day I can’t believe my luck to be waking up next to my beautiful, loving and perfect husband. My mission in life is to help as many people as possible to experience the happiness I have found and meet their special someone.

I spent 13 and a half out of my 21 adult years as a single woman and have been in destructive as well as good relationships. It was not until I changed fundamental things within myself that I met my current husband. Here is a brief summary of the journey which led me to where I am now.

In my early 20’s I was happily footloose and fancy-free and was more interested in travelling than a serious relationship. Then in my mid-twenties I decided that I wanted less casual relationships but fell for someone who was already in a relationship and who I let treat me disrespectfully. I became addicted to the thrill of being with someone who wasn’t totally available and ended up getting very hurt. This relationship left me angry and with strong feelings of not being worthy. Self-development tools and good friends helped me to get through this period.

Two years later, I started to form healthier relationships but most of them were short-lived and I became increasingly disillusioned with relationships. Spending long hours at my job became an excuse not to do anything about my personal life. This left me feeling lonely and stressed. A trip to New Zealand gave me the inspiration to make some changes in my life. You may know the expression: be careful what you wish for. I came back from my trip with a focus on fun and my wish came true. I started meeting men much younger than me who were interested in having fun. This made me realize that I wanted more than just fun.

On February 14th, 2003, I went to a party and noticed a man at the bar who I thought was the most beautiful man I had seen in a long time. To my surprise, he came over to me and said, Did you feel the energy between us? The connection between us grew from there and we spent three happy months together. We both knew and admitted to each other that we were soul mates. This man had sickle cell anemia which is a life-threatening condition.

When I met him he was well but had previously spent long periods in hospital. One night I was with him while he was getting over a sickle cell crisis and I woke up to find him dead. I’m telling you this since it really was a turning point in my life and tested my faith and determination. People said to me: you’ll never meet anyone like that again and you’re so unlucky in love. These negative comments made me more determined to meet another soul mate and someone who would play a different part in my life.

After a period of intense grieving, I decided to focus on meeting my perfect match. I spent time observing fulfilled relationships, was coached to overcome deeply entrenched barriers and tried every kind of dating option out there – speed dating, blind dates, internet dating and the traditional club and bar hopping. At the age of 35 and after several stabs at internet dating, I met my now husband online. We were so sure that we were right for each other that we got married within eight months of knowing each other. Neither of us has looked back since.

About this book

This book is the culmination of my personal experience and everything I have learned from running more than 50 Meet Your Perfect Match workshops and coaching hundreds of single clients whom I have had the pleasure of working with.

Imagine what your life would be like if you were waking up every morning and coming home every night to your special someone. Imagine your life with no more lonely Saturday nights, no more holidays on your own, no more weddings and parties on your own. Imagine how much more you could give and achieve with the support of a loving partner.

As you read this book, you will gain the motivation, inspiration and tools to help you find the love you deserve.

Gill’s story

"Dear Candy,

I attended your workshop and found it a most uplifting and enjoyable day. It gave me the courage not to settle for second best. For the past 10 years, since my last long-term relationship, I had had a few relationships. Your workshop made me realize that they were all destined to fail for various reasons and wish that I had previously had the insight to move on sooner.

I had been on dating websites on and off for several years and then one day Bill's picture popped up. He had such nice eyes and his profile was witty and genuine. We began emailing daily and with every message I became increasingly excited and convinced that I had found someone very special. We met for lunch two weeks later and then a couple of days later drove to France for New Year. We both felt as if we had always been friends, we just hadn't met yet. I know that I have found my soul mate and that we will be together indefinitely.

After a year and a half we are still completely besotted with each other and as happy as ever. Bill is actually even more wonderful than I first realized!

I always thought that this kind of thing happened to other people and not me, but it did, at 51 years old. Thanks, Gill."

Most of my clients come to me desperate to know the secrets of how and where to meet potential partners. They want to launch themselves straight into the dating stage without doing any prior thought or preparation. What would happen if you desperately wanted to change jobs and you went straight to any kind of interview you could get without working out what kind of job you want, salary or location, without carefully writing a CV to sell yourself, without researching companies and without preparing questions for interview? You would fail miserably and either be rejected at the interview or end up with a job which you hated. Likewise, if you do no preparation to meet your perfect match you could end up being rejected or in a relationship you hate.

How to use this book

The first six chapters of this book provide you with the necessary steps to prepare and lead you to your perfect match. The seventh chapter covers where and how to meet potentials. The eighth chapter shows you how to maximize your chances of meeting your perfect match, maintain the relationship you deserve and never to give up!

This book is packed with tried and tested tools, if you really want to meet your perfect match, read them, read them again and apply them. If you feel you need extra assistance and support, don’t hesitate to contact me to find out how my workshops and coaching could help you. I have also included lots of real-life examples and success stories to prove that finding your perfect match is possible.

I have included book recommendations so that you can get more in-depth knowledge and understanding of certain relationship areas.

I wish you the best of luck in the search for your perfect match. It makes my day when readers share their success stories after following this book so do get in touch. I also welcome any feedback you may have about this book.

Good luck!

Candy

CHAPTER 1

How to overcome destructive relationship patterns

"Continuing to do the same things,

hoping for a different outcome."

— Einstein’s definition of madness

If you carry on doing the same things and adopting the same attitudes towards relationships, you will achieve the same outcomes which will continue to make you unhappy.

This chapter will help you identify the mistakes you have been repeating and, most importantly, give you the tools to overcome these mistakes.

Psychologists estimate that between birth and 5 years of age, you receive 50% of your emotional programming.

Psychologists estimate that between 5 and 8 years of age, you receive 30% of your emotional programming.

From the age of 0 to 5 years old, your parents are the centre of your world so the majority of programming comes from them, with