Aussie Men Are the Pits

By Esta Finch

Trying to figure him out? Copping the wide-eyed stare across the room? Haven’t heard from Mr. Super-intense? Sick of never being asked for a simple coffee? Don’t worry. You’re not alone. And it’s not your fault. It’s his.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Jul 30, 2021
• ISBN: 9781528927437

Esta Finch

Esta Finch lived in an icy desert of a place, surrounded by miners and mountaineers. The men of the wild impressed her. The men of Australia, too heavy on the fortune and light on the masculinity, did not. The trepidation with which men goggled at the ladies about them but refused so much as a decent hello bothered her, particularly given how many exceptional ladies there are out there. Esta is no writer, but she is a traveller and purveyor of men and their relations with the fairer sex. The question she has is, can they rediscover themselves in the face of the female?

Book preview

About the Author

Esta Finch lived in an icy desert of a place, surrounded by miners and mountaineers. The men of the wild impressed her. The men of Australia, too heavy on the fortune and light on the masculinity, did not. The trepidation with which men goggled at the ladies about them but refused so much as a decent hello bothered her, particularly given how many exceptional ladies there are out there. Esta is no writer, but she is a traveller and purveyor of men and their relations with the fairer sex. The question she has is, can they rediscover themselves in the face of the female?

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my mum, who has always encouraged me to be the woman I am and not the woman some man wants me to be.

Copyright Information ©

Esta Finch (2021)

The right of Esta Finch to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781528918282 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781528927437 (ePub e-book)

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published (2021)

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd

25 Canada Square

Canary Wharf

London

E14 5LQ

Acknowledgement

I acknowledge all the girls and women out there who have had trouble in the dating world. Further, I acknowledge that there are a number of men out there who deem it necessary and appropriate to give females advice on what they need to change, or do differently, in order to attract men. Really?! Why can the male not be responsible for any change necessary in order to keep up with the modern female? That is my question.

The Inspiration

For this book was a conversation I had with my mother, sitting in the car at a beach, lamenting the difficulty of getting back into the dating scene in Australia. It shouldn’t be that difficult, I said. I’m Australian, so culturally no problems, I speak fairly fluent English, and I like to have a chat. But no matter how sociable I was, how much I smiled and how much I opened a conversation, I routinely came up blank. Niente. Not even a coffee invitation. So, either I was a seriously flawed individual, or the men were aspiring nonsensicalities. Now, I am and freely admit that I am a seriously flawed individual – as we all are. But I decided that it was more the second that men in this country were a little warped and a little strange and a little too metro for me.

So, I sat down and started writing a rant, which ended up becoming quite a long rant and gave it to a friend who spent an hour laugh-crying at it.

I thought I’d share it with more people.

So here it is.

The Insulting Compliment

Sometimes one must really question the nature of a man’s intelligence. What is it that makes the bleeding obvious so in need of commentary, reinforcing not only awkwardness but also embarrassment? Such as this morning when I was sitting at my usual cafe to have one of the guys – a guy whose propositions were as numerous as my trips to the cafe (one might ask why I kept going to the same place and whilst I did try other places, this one had the best view of the ocean you could want – it practically sat on the sand) he commented that my nose was red. Oh yes, Charlie, well spotted. Are you sick? he asks. I grin and turn back to my work. Thank you very much for the running commentary on how delightfully unattractive I look, because the sole reason in my life is to look gorgeous every day, smile every day, and generally provide the view like a flower. Well done, because I have nothing else to do. Nothing else in my head at all. Just the thought that I must provide the view for some raucous feeling randy man in a cafe. As I say, Well done, Charlie, that’s the way to get a date.

No no. Update. The way to get a date is to put a note in my book when I’m at the ladies saying, Call me. 0421-657 899. No name. No nothing. Just persistence when I have clearly said no a thousand times. I guess you cannot blame a guy for persistence. It’s kind of romantic actually. But seriously. A guy who hasn’t asked a question. Makes awkward comments. Does his best to make you feel like you haven’t got a brain because there’s never anything intelligent said between the two of you, the only conversation being something along the lines of how many Aussie girls he’s shagged in the last month. Oh, yes, please! I’d like a piece of that.

Older Man Crisis 1

The Married-Oh-Sh**-

What-Did-I-Do

There’s a guy I go swimming with – not intentionally – but one of those sorts who you bump into occasionally doing your routine. He’s married. With kids. To me, that’s a no-way, go-sleep-in-your-bed-or-make-a-decision guy. He’s the kind that, after seeing you a few times and striking up perfectly awkward conversations with equally awkward looks, begins casting puppy-dog eyes at you. Nooooo, I say, No. I am not here to save you in some overly romantic, I’m the sort of person you really think you want way. You made your calls (or she did, and you let her) – so deal with it. You have kids. Your bad. You have a wife who’s cheating. Your bad. Deal with it.

Personally, I think Aussie men feel sorry for themselves too much of the time. And then they overreact and don’t think any woman is worth it. My reaction – stop acting like a girl. Work out who you are and what you want and then go about achieving said vision with tenacity, guts, patience and a good dose of politeness. You work by treading on others? Then don’t be alarmed when you wind up with a manipulative woman who only wants your reproductive organs for financial security.