Facets of the Family Constellation -- Volume 2: Facets of the Family Constellation 2

By Marc Baco

This is a highly readable guide to the powerful family constellations method of therapy, which is based on recreating family patterns within the therapeutic context.  

• Language: English
• Publisher: BadPress
• Release date: Sep 6, 2021
• ISBN: 9781667411149

Book preview

Facets of the Family Constellation—Volume 2

Marc Baco

––––––––

Translated by Robert E Anderson 

Facets of the Family Constellation—Volume 2

Written By Marc Baco

Copyright © 2021 Marc Baco

All rights reserved

Distributed by Babelcube, Inc.

www.babelcube.com

Translated by Robert E Anderson

Cover Design © 2021 Sarah Wanning

Babelcube Books and Babelcube are trademarks of Babelcube Inc.

Facets of the Family Constellation 2

by

Marc Baco

Notice:

This publication has been researched and prepared in accordance with the best of our knowledge. However, the publisher and author cannot accept any liability for ideas, concepts, recommendations and facts.

The published tips and advice are to be understood as aids to arrive at your own solutions in each case.

If you have any unanswered questions, please contact your primary care physician or therapist.

The book is not a substitute for medical treatment / therapy.

The author and the publisher cannot give an absolute guarantee for your personal result. You must act in all cases at your own responsibility.

As a reader of this book, we would like to expressly point out that no guarantees of success or the like can be guaranteed. Also, no responsibility can be taken for consequences of any nature that may occur to you or other readers in connection with the contents of this book.

The reader is responsible for his own ideas and actions resulting from this book.

Reproductions, translations, distribution, further processing or similar actions for commercial or non-commercial purposes as well as resales are not permitted without the written consent of the author and publisher.

Table of contents

Foreword

Covert lineup: how ignorance contributes to solutions

Spiritual family constellation: a good approach in the case of a family secret

Parentification and reenactment – Are you stuck in the vicious circle of overwork and burnout?

Encumbered buildings and land: how places affect you

Alcoholism: why it is so hard to get away from alcohol

The wonder question – really feeling what it's like to have no problem for once

Family abuse over the years – is life over?

Magical thinking and acting versus dignity

Bullying – How familiarity affects your workplace

Heirs and inheritance disputes – how families can break up

Fantasy – the dark side of the power of imagination

Inner team constellation: understanding the thieving side of you

Discipleship: how to overcome death wish and guilt

Resource constellation: How to become aware of old and new sources of strength

Single mothers with sons: difficult for both sides

Panic attacks and anxiety disorders in family constellations

Meaninglessness and the search for meaning – How Viktor Frankl's logotherapy can be integrated into family constellations

How a Caesarean section can shape your life

Inner Team Constellations: How to develop your encouraging appreciator

Perinatal trauma: birth complications

Paradoxical intervention: how to soften stubbornness

When triangulation and parentification occur simultaneously

Attachments from lost, unredeemed souls: How to reclaim your life

Domestic violence against women – When the perpetrator is in bed next to you

From victim to perpetrator: the profit of the perpetrator structure

Afterword

Literature

About me

Foreword

This volume, Facets of the Family Constellation 2, includes 25 articles from the beginning of August 2015 to the end of January 2016 of my blog http://www.marcbaco.de/ about different aspects of family constellation.

Beginners or newcomers to family constellations should read the first part of this series first, because it explains the basics.

This book goes right into the thick of things and offers a broad spectrum of constellation work in the 25 articles. It starts with covert constellations and ends with Winning the Perpetrator Structure.

Otherwise, good insights on the following pages!

Warmest greetings!

Marc Baco

Covert lineup: how ignorance contributes to solutions

Can we set this up so I'm not kidding myself? asks Thekla.

You're worried you're going to falsify the lineup?

Yes!

"OK, we can do a covert lineup. Then you can be pretty sure no one will have a direct impact."

Originally, covert or anonymous constellations were carried out so that either someone with a great sense of shame could nevertheless work in and with a group or – especially in the context of companies and organizations – in order to prevent company secrets or internal information from leaking out.

However, it is now also used for topics and concerns that are highly polarizing or that affect everyone directly or indirectly and make it difficult to arrive at a neutral stance (the example of 'food' is shown below).

There are also semi-hidden setups and 'double blind' setups.

Characteristics of covert constellations

Usually the constellation leader assigns numbers, letters or symbol names to the representatives before the constellation.

In a covert constellation, the representatives do not know the issue or concern that is being constellated, nor do they know who in the constellation they are standing for.

A 'typical' example of this are some inheritance matters (since covert constellations are very rarely performed, it is not easy for me to write here of 'typical' ...).

In a semi-concealed constellation, the concern or theme is known, but the representatives do not know who they are impersonating.

Workplace bullying is sometimes viewed in a semi-covert setup.

In a 'double-blind' constellation, the representatives know neither concerns nor whom they represent. In addition, the constellator does not know for whom the representatives stand. The leader of the constellation gives the representatives such as numbers and remembers who stands for whom or what, for example, and then clarifies the assignment to the constellator(s) after the constellation.

Thekla's lineup

Thekla had communicated with me in private beforehand that she would like to find out for herself what would be the best form of nutrition for her at the moment.

She wanted to approach the subject slowly and to not get too deep into it yet. Her excess weight was always giving her a hard time.

For the lineup, three diets had emerged that she wanted to try for herself permanently:

Whole food, high fiber diet with meat

Vegetarian diet

Strict vegan diet

Now the thing is that when it comes to 'food', almost no one is really neutral – myself included. I have lived vegan myself for more than half a year and have been vegetarian for almost 10 years.

That's why I suggested that Thekla do a 'double-blind' constellation, so that even I don't subliminally influence the constellation (after all, I am very convinced of my vegetarianism and consider it the solution to all food problems and climate change ...).

The goal or question unknown to the others was:

Which diet is the healthiest and most digestible for me in the time span of one to two years, so that I can also lose weight well?

So Thekla set up the three representatives – all women – without knowing who represented what.

To my 'chagrin', it clearly came out that the whole-food, high-fiber diet with meat was the best form of nutrition for Thekla's goal and current situation. The representative literally beamed at her and Thekla felt strengthened by her.

Thekla was very fond of the vegan diet, but it was very shaky in the lineup.

The vegetarian diet, on the other hand, was of little interest to Thekla.

I myself learned some humility through this constellation.

My 'all-blissful' vegetarianism does not have to fit all people. It was quite good for me to be shown this in a constellation.

Concealed lineups otherwise run like normal lineups.

Questions can be asked, the representatives can follow their movement impulses and solving sentences can be said or rituals can be performed.

Conclusion:

Covert constellations are a rarely used format for constellations with strong feelings of shame, with strongly polarizing topics or with internal information of such as companies which are subject to the obligation of confidentiality, for example.

Apart from the ignorance of the representatives, it does not differ from normal constellations.

Spiritual family constellation: A good approach in the case of a family secret

I get stuck at a certain point with my constellations, Britta says during the preliminary interview.

And that involves a family secret.

Maybe now's not the time to go there ..., I suggest.

Maybe, but my four-year-old son gets it all and has pneumonia for the third time this year. I want to help him.

There is the possibility of a spiritual family constellation – without words, without explanations, only movement impulses and trusting the spiritual field. Could you attend this in an attitude of humility and acceptance without interpreting, judging or questioning?

I will try for the sake of my son ...

Differences between classical and spiritual family constellations

Spiritual family constellation, sometimes called silent family constellation, movements of the spirit, the new family constellation or walking with the spirit, has been used and taught by Bert Hellinger and successors since 2006.

Unlike classical or systemic constellations, the constellation facilitator needs very little information from the client.

The leader connects to the spiritual field and then intuitively selects surrogates himself – not the client.

These now move very slowly, following their inner movement impulses.

The client should follow the movements with an open mind and – as already written above by Britta – ideally remain in an inner attitude of neutral, non-judgmental observation.

Only rarely does the lineup leader intervene in the action.

Sometimes he brings together representatives who are avoiding a meeting, sometimes he adds a missing representative, sometimes he includes the client himself.

Such constellations can remain 'open' or appear 'unfinished'.

The leader himself decides when the lineup is finished.

Here are the differences from classical family constellations:

- Little information

- Leader selects representative

- There is little or preferably no talking

- Little intervention or intervention by the leader

- Constellations can remain open and unfinished

- Leader intuitively sets end of lineup

The attitude of the constellator to what is happening in the constellation should be:

- Observing

- Open-minded

- Non-judgmental

- Not questioning/curious

- As neutral as possible

Suitable questions for the spiritual family constellation

When is a spiritual family constellation a good option?

Now, many followers of Hellinger would reply, Always!

I myself have only worked with spiritual family constellations for just under three years and have found for myself that it does not always seem to be so useful.

The following seem to me to be well suited for the application of the spiritual family constellation:

- if there is a family secret (see Britta's list)

- in the case of a head to heart blockade, not wanting to be true

- for events on a larger scale (international understanding, reconciliation, reconciliation, etc.)

- Trauma detection

Not wanting to see the spiritual lineup can be mitigated, often even disappear altogether.

The mental lineup somehow bypasses the inner censor and acts directly on the