Nobody's Perfect: Reflections of a Man Who Is Not Perfect

By John L. Bowman

Apparently many people find me amusing It is not my intention to be amusing but in dealing with the opposite sex dignity pride boredom and humility I have found that I am not perfect This book includes short vignettes that others might identify with and thus help them look at their life

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Jan 28, 2004
• ISBN: 9780595753635

John L. Bowman

The author received a Bachelor of Arts degree in 1973 from Whitman College, a Bachelor of Arts degree in philosophy in 1993 from Portland State University, and a Masters of Interdisciplinary Studies degree from Oregon State University in 2010. His areas of study for the master’s degree were philosophy (ethics and theories of the mind) and ancient history. He is the author of numerous books on philosophy, real estate, and politics. He lives in Portland, Oregon where he raised three daughters with his wife Kathy.

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Nobody’s Perfect

Reflections of a man who is not perfect

John L. Bowman

iUniverse, Inc.

New York Lincoln Shanghai

Nobody’s Perfect

Reflections of a man who is not perfect

All Rights Reserved © 2000, 2003 by John L. Bowman

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher.

iUniverse, Inc.

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Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 97-95286

ISBN: 0-595-30530-X

ISBN: 978-0-5957-5363-5 (eBook)

Contents

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

INTRODUCTION

1   

THE BALLAD OF DOUGLAS DRONE

2   

LIFE WITH THE TOILET SEAT DOWN

3   

THE TRIP TO IMNAHA

4   

THE ESCAPE

5   

THE INCIDENT

6   

HUMILITY IS NO VIRTUE

7   

A DRUMMER WITH NO RHYTHM

8   

IGNORANCE IS BLISS

9   

WRITING

10

IN ENVY OF OLD A GE

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS 

I would like to thank my daughters Maude, Abbey and Sydney for illustrating this book. Maude did the cover and Chapter 3, Abbey did Chapters 2 and 7, and Sydney did Chapters 5 and 10. I would like to thank my wife for putting up with me, and that hobo for improving my wardrobe. Finally, I would like to thank Doug Drone for keeping me from living a dull and commonplace life.

INTRODUCTION 

Apparently, many find me amusing. It is not my intention to be amusing. On the contrary, I take life and its responsibilities and challenges seriously. Dealing with things like the opposite sex, dignity, pride, boredom, humility and meaning are serious matters. Therefore, my method has always been to approach such matters methodically. I would analyze them, conceive solutions, organize myself and lay out some plan of action. So why are they amused; I am glad they are enjoying themselves, but I am chagrined. Apparently, I am not perfect. It seems that I engage in a kind of disconnect. I think of myself as the all-knowing father in Father Knows Best, but I forget that it was comedy. I suppose it is this disconnect that people find amusing. Whatever the case, this book presents a few short vignettes explaining my point of view. Something for the record so to speak.

1    

THE BALLAD OF DOUGLAS DRONE

We all fear living a dull and commonplace life

Douglas Drone lives a boring life. He does nothing and goes nowhere. He carefully lives by the social mean in order to not draw attention to himself. He lives in a single-story ranch house in the suburbs with his wife and two children. He rarely has sex because it is messy. His pantry is full of potato chips and canned dip, which he uses when he watches one of his four television sets. His Rolodex has three names, none of whom he knows particularly well. Doug Drone is not well known.

My name is Douglas Drone

I like to sit at home

I like to be alone

And drone and drone and drone

Doug always speaks in the first person, monosyllabically and in a monotone. Generally his conversations are of the type, Bill went here..or Bob got a… or Mary will be this..and so forth. This is called Billbob language. It is a one-dimensional and simple language that only describes and relates events. It never explores emotion, uses intuition or explores motivations through insight. These kinds of thoughts make Doug nervous. He likes simple words like far, went and see because they are unambiguous. Unusual pitches and tones in voice also make Doug nervous because they belie emotion.