Laid Bare: What Men Don't Talk About but Women Need to Know!

By Zane Wilson

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: May 27, 2008
• ISBN: 9781462822645

Zane Wilson

Zane Wilson is a 31 year old author from Los Angeles, California. Through his marriage with Jean for nearly a decade, he has developed a tremendous passion for all men and women to experience an intimate understanding and respect for each other. He has combined personal experience, education, leadership roles in the community and in his corporate career to produce a refreshing non-psychological approach that will allow men and women to utilize practical and tangible solutions instead of outdated case studies.

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Copyright © 2008 by Zane Wilson.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

40447

Contents

Chapter 1: His Childhood

Shattered Dreams

Tragedies

Secrets

His Self-assessment

Her Self-assessment

My Journal Notes

Your Journal Notes

Choice Words

Chapter 2: His Language

Nonverbal (It’s Written All over Your Face)

Shutting Down Emotionally

Explosive Anger

His Self-assessment

Her Self-assessment

My Journal Notes

Your Journal Notes

Choice Words

Chapter 3: His Thoughts

Past

Future

Lust

His Self-assessment

Her Self-assessment

My Journal Notes

Your Journal Notes

Choice Words

Chapter 4: His Sexuality

Fantasies

Cheating

Making Love (His View)

Self-pleasure

His Self-assessment

Her Self-assessment

My Journal Notes

Your Journal Notes

Choice Words

Chapter 5: His Lies

Why?

How?

What?

His Self-assessment

Her Self-assessment

My Journal Notes

Your Journal Notes

Choice Words

Chapter 6: His Woman

Her Body

Her Mind

Her Friendship

Her Support

His Self-assessment

Her Self-assessment

My Journal Notes

Your Journal Notes

Choice Words

Chapter 7: His Insecurities

Our Body

Failure

Commitment

Providing

His Self-assessment

Her Self-assessment

My Journal Notes

Your Journal Notes

Choice Words

Chapter 8: His Work

Job

Career

His Work

His Self-assessment

Her Self-assessment

My Journal Notes

Your Journal Notes

Choice Words

Chapter 9: His Credit

Credit Basics

What to Look For

My Experience

His Self-assessment

Her Self-assessment

My Journal Notes

Your Journal Notes

Choice Words

Chapter 10: His Spirituality

Within

Awareness

His Self-assessment

Her Self-assessment

My Journal Notes

Your Journal Notes

Choice Words

Chapter 11: His Pet Peeves

Stop Telling Me How to Drive!

Why Are You Wearing That to Bed?

Can We Get an Upgrade on the PMS Panties?

Will that be Regular, Super, or Super Plus?

The Torture of Shopping

It’s Just a Drive-thru

Can We Just Be on Time?

Stop Hiding New Clothes

Stop Nagging Me!

Stop Trying to Change Me

Don’t Touch Those Buttons

You Are Not His Shrink

Don’t Argue with Me in Front of Others

His Self-assessment

Her Self-assessment

My Journal Notes

Your Journal Notes

Choice Words

Chapter 12: His Planet

The Problem

The Answer and Cure to His Planet

His Self-assessment

Her Self-assessment

My Journal Notes

Your Journal Notes

Choice Words

This book is dedicated to my wife, Jean, who has continued to love and support me through some of my most challenging times. There is no greater gift than having a best friend that also happens to be my wife. It is your unconditional friendship that has produced a life-changing confidence, which allows me to share my deepest thoughts and feelings without fear or shame. Thank you for sharing my dreams and allowing me to find the courage to lay myself bare.

Introduction

If there is ever a possibility of having a book without a cover, this will truly be the book to consider. Within these pages you will discover the nakedness of men. Stop! Not that type of nakedness, but the undressing and revealing of thoughts, insecurities, passions, choices, childhood pains, fantasies, goals, etc.—the things that men just don’t talk about. This book is designed to give women a glasshouse view into the inner man’s daily challenges and experiences. You have probably noticed that we as men generally come packaged with a smoke-screen identity and image that has you guessing: Who did I marry? Who am I dating? Or simply, what is wrong with men? See, under all his charm, ability to dress well, bank account status, and, oh, the immaculate sex you may have encountered, the reality still remains that you probably are still scratching the surface of your man’s true identity. It is my goal to help unclothe many of the common lingering questions that most women have but never quite get answered. Unfortunately, these unanswered questions normally result in frustration, bitterness, doubt, and mistrust, which generally lead down the path to disaster. I believe the goal in every relationship is to know each other deeply without trying to clone ourselves. Each person is unique in personality and possesses an assortment of skills and talents that should always be valued even when they seem to be very opposite of our own. After all, opposites attract, right?

You may be asking yourself right now, what qualifies this guy to write a book on such personal and complicated topics? Well, the simplest answer I can offer is that I am a man! We as men can be very predictable and even simple to understand if you know what to look for and what to expect.

Yes, all men are different when it comes to personality, maturity, and values, but these topics I have chosen to expose are universal and without a doubt, common between all men. Believe it or not, this book is equally designed to empower men in the areas of communication, vulnerability, and, more importantly, understanding himself. Our roles and expectations as men sometimes overshadow our true identity because we are constantly trying to balance various hats and responsibilities in our lives. Most of us can do one thing very well, but when it comes to juggling several roles such as a husband or boyfriend, employee or boss, father or son, then you can be certain that neglect will soon follow in other areas. He may begin showing his woman less attention or affection, the kids may not be getting the quality time needed, finances may be mismanaged, and basic help around the home may begin to fade. The inside scoop is that when we become overwhelmed, we have a natural tendency to retreat into a copilot mode. We may still give off the impression that everything is under control and normal, but it’s really not. There is something in us as men that despise the thought of looking bad, showing signs of weakness, or feeling failure in any area of our lives. I believe this distorted view comes from our pride and subconsciously creates a fake and unrealistic image that can eventually fossilize our persona. So day after day, we evolve into men who are losing touch with ourselves and those who are dear to us. We have become accustomed to suppressing the natural instincts and abilities of communicating feelings, showing affection, and even the purest expression of pain and joy, the freedom to cry. Stop! This book can produce a wide range of emotions, but it is not implying that men should become so sensitive that they lose themselves or their manhood; however, it focuses on the goal of becoming more balanced within these natural feelings.

For the last eighteen years of my life, it has been a constant battle to understand and accept who I really am internally as a man. It wasn’t until recently, through eight years of being married, that I finally started to realize and see what I was really made of as an individual. After several arguments with my wife and being a witness to several unhealthy relationships that surrounded us, I felt a strong need to really work on my personal communication if I was going to have any chance of saving my marriage. In our communication, it seemed like we would hit the same brick wall every time we had a disagreement. Little did I know that I was the one creating this impenetrable barrier between us because I did not know how to verbalize my thoughts and feelings without being sarcastic, offensive, and downright rude at times. My wife has stood toe-to-toe with me even when she has lacked hope and strength to continue. It is through these experiences and willingness to fight for our relationship that I owe the world to my wife, Jean. It has been proven to me that she did not just take my last name at the altar, but accepted the rest of my baggage and issues that would be unpacked and laid bare in the following years to come. Although I may have been shortsighted at the altar as I gazed into her inexpressible beauty and inherited the benefits of excellent cooking, bargain shopping, and not to mention her incredible passion for lovemaking. Several years later, we found ourselves in a marriage counselor’s office as a last-ditch effort to save our union. It was at this point I realized that I was on the verge of losing, and I was no longer willing to allow my pride to dictate the outcome of my relationship. It was the first time I didn’t see Jean as just a want or desire in my life, but as a vital need to understanding my inner self. I know I am still a tremendous work in progress, but through my various challenges, Jean has helped me become more aware of who I am and the things I am capable of achieving. This rude awakening revealed to me just how shallow and insensitive I can be. This is why I have now entered a quest to find the source and roots behind my inability to communicate in depth, display security, and deal with the pain of my past. The things that I am about to share with you are not just for my therapy and healing alone, but for the millions of men that truly want to be free from the ignorance of their false identity. Through personal experiences, several years of counseling singles and couples, and numerous surveys from women who desire and deserve to know the depths of their men, I present to you Laid Bare.

Caution, ladies! You may never look at us quite the same again!

His Childhood

The childhood of a boy will shape

and form the character of a man!

Chapter 1

If your goal is to really understand a man, then you have to learn about the boy he once was years ago. Childhood should be one of the most special and memorable times in a person’s life, but far too often you will find that it was the most painful or tragic period to live through. It is during these crucial years that a boy is shaped through various experiences and events