Love, Abbey: A Memoir of an Undying Spirit

By Abbey Almelien Banh

Abbey Almelien Banh lived her life in the service of others, especially the smallest. A pediatric nurse, she lived her life inspired by the words of Fernado Sabino:

In the end,
it will be okay.

If its not okay,
its not yet the end.

In the prime of her life, she received news that she had heard others receive countless times. On the day she learned that she had cancer, her life understandably changed. Most people would agree that being diagnosed with cancer is unlucky. Being diagnosed with two is tragic. Three cancers is catastrophic and would leave most people utterly speechless.

But Abbey was never one to be silenced.

This collection of blogs is one womans intimate journey to continue living life no matter the challenges that lay before her. Reading Love, Abbey will allow you to follow this undying spirit as she redefined the label of cancer patient to a person living life to the fullest with cancer. Her resilience proved cancer could not win in changing the person shed become.

So, this wasnt exactly my plan,
but I suppose having cancer and going through treatment isnt anyones plan.

Proceeds from the sale of this book go to
sarcoma cancer research at the University of Iowa Hospital and Clinics.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Archway Publishing
• Release date: Apr 28, 2015
• ISBN: 9781480817258

Abbey Almelien Banh

Abbey Almelien Banh worked as a pediatric nurse at the University of Iowa Children’s Hospital until cancer forced a change in plans. She received a B.A. in nursing from Luther College, Decorah, Iowa and was also pursuing an advanced degree at the time of her diagnosis.

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Copyright © 2015 Abbey Almelien Banh.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Archway Publishing

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Cover image by Christine Pechera.

ISBN: 978-1-4808-1724-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4808-1725-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015905120

Archway Publishing rev. date: 4/28/2015

Contents

Preface

(Untitled)

developing a plan

In the hospital

difficult patient

Busting out

over due update

back home again

more of a plan

The Waiting Game

Huge Decision

Big Day Tomorrow

Successful Surgery

Recovering

Back At Home

It’s Getting Better All the TIme

The Next Step

Successful Party

Happy Halloween

A little bit nervous

Let the Radiation Begin

So Far So Good

Cheers to the New Year!

Cancer Sucks

I Feel Lucky

Vegas … Good for the Body and Soul

Love is in the Air

Change in Plans

Go Gemzar!

Going Strong

Down for the Count

Time for Spring

Smooth Sailin’

A Good Good Friday

Happy Spring

Relay Success!

Guess What I’m Doing Tomorrow …

Not much new

Chemo Completion Celebration!

Happy 4th!

Fluid Overload

Baby Steps

Radiation

Year 2

Looking Good

Sleepy in Seattle

Happy Halloween

Echo … echo … echo …

More ‘roids …

Happy Thanksgiving

Merry Christmas!

A little worried

World Traveler

Hooray

Cut It Out

8 Week Scan … Done

Camping camper

Possible Tumor Growth

Hospitalization

Hello again from me. :)

Hello again

Radiation Rays

Another trip to the OR

Heading Home!

Wow, This Road is Bumpy …

Home Again (Again)

Slight growth, some shrinkage

Time to Start Treatment

Mo Chemo

The Luckiest Girl in the World

Surprise (in a good way)

Lookin’ Good

One More Thing …

Things are changing (for the better)

Still looking good

Go Hawks … Beat State (and Beat Cancer)

Happy Halloween!

I’m Boring

Medium News

Rejected from Radiation

Mild Growth :(

Feelin’ Funky

Bye Bye Gemzar

Plenty of Questions

Yay for Good News!

Starting a new chemo

Round 1 done!

Recent Scan and Continuing Chemo

The chemo is working

Back Pain and Treatment Changes

Bad News, Plain and Simple

Holding Steady

Nearing the End of This One

Sorry About the Last Title

Awesome News!

More Good News!

The Long Version

My Current Reality

DVT

Epilogue

My Beloved Wife

Memorial

Endowment

Eulogy

Saint Peter Lutheran Church, Greene, IA

In Memory of …

Looking at the Future to Remember the Past

My Hero Herky

Anniversary

Preface

Abbey’s Story

So, this wasn’t exactly my plan, but I suppose having cancer and going through treatment isn’t anyone’s plan. I do feel extremely lucky to have all the support of wonderful family and friends, and that’s what I will rely upon to get me through all this. I have full confidence in my medical team that they will do all that they can to help get me healthy again. I truly believe being in Iowa City surrounded by friends, family, coworkers, and medical team is the best place for me right now. All the long distance support is VERY much appreciated, too! And visitors are always welcome.

(Untitled)

Posted Aug 1, 2008 2:38pm

Here’s what I know so far:

I have been diagnosed with a malignant peripheral nerve sheath tumor. It’s about the size of a tennis ball and is on my right sciatic nerve … it’s basically in my butt. It causes me pain down my right leg (behind my knee), but mostly in my right foot. The pain flares up when lying down, in a lot of sitting positions, and if I walk too far or too fast (over a block, or attempt to walk a normal person’s speed). Sleeping is difficult since laying down is so uncomfortable, it’s always interrupted, and often for not very many hours. Getting around is difficult, but I have many friends willing to haul me around and drop me off at the door while they go and park.

I have still been working a fair amount, and I’m almost fully functional. The things that are difficult for me are usually performed by my 24 hour/day unpaid PCA (personal care attendant), my sister Anna. She has been an angel, never once complaining, and even making it known that she’ll stick around for more (I believe We’ll go through the whole thing together were her exact words). In addition to helping me with my foot brace and getting my shoe on, she has been cooking, cleaning, driving me around everywhere, and being my best friend. (Why can’t I cook and clean? It’s only my leg, right? I’m not sure … she’s just jumped into those things, and once school starts for her, I’ll be resuming those roles more regularily).

My friends and family have been AMAZING to me! So much support, so many cards, emails, phone calls, and visits. I feel very well supported. I’m also very pleased with my medical team. I trust they have my best interest in mind and are going to do everything possible to develop the best plan.

I will learn on Wed Aug 6th more about what the plan will be. Right now it’s between performing surgery to take the tumor out (the surgeon already told me it’s too difficult since the tumor is on the nerve and it would damage my nerve and affect my leg’s function a lot), and going forward with medical treatment, meaning chemotherapy with possibly radiation later. I won’t go into the details too much here since a lot is still up in the air.

Today I had a CT of my chest, abdomen and pelvis to look for any spreading. Tuesday I’ll have a bone scan for the same reason.

I will try to keep this page updated to keep everyone in the loop. Thank you so much for supporting me through this whole thing. It’s the only way I know how to get through it.

developing a plan

Posted Aug 6, 2008 11:45pm

First of all, I want to say thank you so much for all of your support and kind words! It has been wonderful to read what everyone has written to me. I feel very loved, so you all are doing a great job! I often want to reply to what I read, but they don’t have that option on this page.

As far as my CTs and bone scan, I passed with near flying colors. There were just a couple questionable spots on my liver that I had to have an ultrasound for, but after ultrasound we’re pretty sure they’re nothing to worry about.

Today was the big day for me. I met again with my oncologist Dr. Mo after he discussed my case with many professionals, including my surgeon in order to present to me their best plan. The only way we could be sure to excise the whole tumor with wide margins (what’s needed to completely get rid of the cancer) would be to take part of my pelvis (the tumor is pressed up against the bone) and amputate my whole leg. That’s not going to happen. So we will attempt to shrink the tumor with chemotherapy first, knowing that this type is often not very responsive to chemo. We’re going to take pictures (x-rays) after each round of chemo (I’ll receive three days of chemo every three weeks … this consists of one round), and if it is shown to grow, we’ll need to go to surgery then. If it stays steady or shrinks, we’ll continue with chemo. I’m going to talk with the surgeon again when I can, but from what I understand at this point, unless the tumor shrinks a whole lot, he’ll have to take part of the nerve. The sciatic nerve controls a lot of function, and unfortunately I would loose this function. I’m trying not to dwell on this, but I also need to know that it’s fairly likely to happen this way. After the surgery I will receive radiation for 6 weeks and chemo for 6 weeks.

Dr. Mo asked me when I would like to begin treatment, and I chose Monday. That way I can have this weekend to try to have fun with my friends and family (everyone will be here on Sunday … we’re having a picnic in the park by our new apartment), while prepare a little mentally for this whole thing. On Monday morning I start with an echocardiogram (one of my meds can be hard on your heart, so they want to see what my function is like now), then hopefully I meet with the surgeon again to answer questions, then at 1 pm I will have a port placed under my skin in my chest. This is a direct line to a main vein above the heart, so each time I go for more treatment, they access the port rather than starting a new IV. Also since the chemo is very hard on veins, this protects the more delicate veins of the hands and arms. After my port is placed (a procedure that doesn’t take very long), I will be admitted to the hosptial and begin my treatment. I will have three days, so I think that means I’ll get out on Thursday evening.

I will lose my hair about 10 days after I receive chemo. I hope to find a good wig by then! I was reading in one of the many helpful pamphlets, and announced to my friends that were spending time with me that I’ll need a wig stand to store the wig. Anna said, Good, because I don’t want to be the one having to hold that thing all the time.

As far as what people can do for me, I’d say continue to pray if that’s your style, and keep up the support. It’s been great so far, and I know it will continue to really help.

In the hospital

Posted Aug 12, 2008 1:38pm

I had a really nice last weekend. I had a lot of wonderful company, with the highlight being the picnic on Sunday. My whole family was there execept sister-in-law Karen who had to work, and step-sister Hannah who now lives in Texas. Many friends came, we had pizza and other snacks, played some games, and told stories and laughed. It was beautiful weather, too. It was pretty much all my favorite things with all my favorite people.

Sunday evening was hard for me. It was after everyone had left and the party died down, and then I started thinking about the reality of the long hard road ahead. I cried off and on, but I had my mom, Anna, and her best friend Rachel (or our sister Ashley as we’ve decided to call her … she needed an A name) were there, so I didn’t feel alone. Thank you all for saying how I’m strong and have a positive attitude, but that’s not always the case, and I know there will be other times that are like that, too. Right now, I’m feeling back to my good-old self, and I’m ready to take this thing on full force.

Yesterday (Monday) I started off the day with an echocardiogram to make sure my heart is functioning well (one of my chemo drugs can be hard on your heart). That went well (except that I was told that my appointment wa at 8:30, but then echo didn’t have me scheduled until 10:15 … oh well, I’m getting used to waiting). I had a very friendly and skilled technition, as I have had throughout all my appoinments so far. Go University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics! :)

My port placement was scheduled for 1, but that too was delayed. I didn’t go in until 3 (I was hungry since they didn’t let me eat anything after 7 in the morning). I once again was kept company and kept patient waiting with my mom, Anna, and Ashley. We had fun laughing and joking and trying to guess what all the convict patients around us were serving time for. I was sedated but not all the way out, but the medicine worked well. I was comfortable the whole time. I’ve been fairly sore since the port is under the muscle in my chest.

I didn’t get to my hospital room until about 6:30 last evening. We started up my IV fluids to pre-hydrate me, and then they ordered an MRI to get another picture of the tumor (the last one was 1 month ago so they’re wondering if they could tell if it grew in 1 month). Because of all that, we didn’t start the actual chemo at all yesterday.

The night went well although I was awake off and on quite a bit (but this is how I am at home anyway). My mom and Anna went back to her apartment, and I was fine with that since I’m well cared for by excellent nurses here.

Today has been going well, too. My doctors have been good to very thoroughly explain what to expect, and how this will go. One chemo I’ll get twice a day (every 12 hours) for 6 doses total. I just got it started up now (noon on Tuesday), so my last dose will be midnight Thursday. I’ll get a couple follow up meds, and the plan is to discharge from here around noon on Friday. I’m guessing the other times I’m in the hospital it’ll get started sooner and I’ll be discharged sooner.

I’ve already had multiple visitors, and it’s been great. On Saturday I prepared by getting a really cozy blanket, comfortable pyjamas, and new slippers. They’ve all come in handy already.

Thank you for your continued support! I’ll update again soon!

difficult patient

Posted Aug 14, 2008 4:15pm

I’m not cooperating very well. It’s not something I’m doing intnetionally. That which I can control, I’m doing perfectly. The probem is that I had a horrible recation to a medication that made me extrememly confused and out of it! The nurse found me trying to take apart my iv line saying I was getting a urine sample. I scared her half to death, and she said, I’m going to get the doctor … . I continued to be wacky most of the night, but by morning I felt better.

Wedendsay is pretty much a blur to me. According to my mom, I was very confused most of the afternoon, too. She stayed with me that night, and I was not an easy patient to take care of. I had to have an alarm on me that would go off when I tried to get up, and even though I said I’ll tell them, I often just got up. I had weird dreams that didn’t go all the way away when I woke.

I’ve been keeping my doctors working hard! Dr. Mo is trying to salvage this round, knowing that the one that makes me confused is the one I need to badly. I’ve had a decent amount of that med, but I need a little more to make it worth it. He’s thinking that he has two other meds that will give this boost. They’re both given in an iv push, so the plan will be for me to go home on Friday. The next time I’m here, we’ll do more preparing for the Ifosfomide (the one that made me confused). So hopefully I can get it withouut the bad side effects.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers! Your love and support are sooooo greatly appreciated!!

Busting out

Posted Aug 16, 2008 10:40pm

I’m FINALLY feeling a little bit better after a rough few days. It hasn’t been a very smooth road so far. I should have gotten to leave on Friday since I was done with my chemo on Thursday, but after a terrible day long bout of diarrhea that left me dehydrated with out of whack electrolytes, I bought myself another day of IV hydration. Last night/this morning I was battleing horrible nausea and vomited twice. I finally found a new medication that settled things down. Eating is an absolute chore, and because I haven’t proven myself quite well enough yet, the doctors wanted to keep me one more day.

What really got me feeling better today was that my brother Isaac, sister-in-law Karen, and nephews Owen and Alex came to visit. My mom and Anna were here, too, and we all had a very nice visit. We took the boys out to the playground, and they had a blast. It was my first trip outside since arriving Monday, and although it was cut quite short by a short battery life on my IV pump, I really enjoyed the fresh air. We continued our visit back inside, and Owen was a big help encouraging me to eat by saying, Abbey, I’ll eat a grape if you eat a grape. We did this with cheerios and apple slices, too.

The best news out of all this mess, is that my leg pain has subsided. This leads us to believe that the tumor is shrinking!! We’ll know more after another MRI (in about two weeks). I still don’t know overall what this means, but things are heading in the right direction.

My mom is planning on staying with me a few more days until my next appointment with Dr. Mo on