Simpleton: A Novel

By Hampton Jeffreys

It seems David Williams is destined to suffer. As a chubby first grader unable to control his bodily functions, David is relentlessly bullied by his classmates, abused by his overbearing mother, who vacillates between smothery love and mental and physical cruelty, and confused by his sporadic relationship with his spineless, insecure father. While growing up in a less-than-ideal environment, David sadly remains a victim defined by the actions and reactions of those around him.

As David enters tenth grade, he develops a crush on Mitzi Williams, a beautiful fellow student who seemingly has no clue that he even exists. Things become even worse for David after Paul Emmett, a moronic jock, who is harboring a secret and somehow manages to attract the attention of Mitzi, and Kelly Lowe, better known to David as Satan, constantly find increasingly devious ways to make Davids life miserable at every turn. But when an unfortunate chain of events concludes on high school graduation day, David is left at a crossroads where he finally makes an important realization that changes everything.

Simpleton is a bittersweet, sometimes comical, coming-of-age tale about a young man who must rely on perseverance, inner strength, and courage to escape a less-than-ideal fate.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Archway Publishing
• Release date: Jul 7, 2016
• ISBN: 9781480828810

Hampton Jeffreys

Hampton Jeffreys is a former paralegal who is happy to have finally achieved his lifelong goal of writing a novel. He lives with his family in Spartanburg, South Carolina. Simpleton is his first book.

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Copyright © 2016 Hampton Jeffreys.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-4808-2882-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4808-2880-3 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4808-2881-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016906731

Archway Publishing rev. date: 7/7/2016

Contents

Chapter 1 First Grade

Chapter 2 Fourth Grade

Chapter 3 Sixth Grade

Chapter 4 Tenth Grade

Chapter 5 Twelfth Grade

Chapter 7 Graduation

Chapter 8 The Aftermath

I WOULD LIKE TO

THANK THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE:

My mom, who does entirely too much for me—thank you for always being there when I need you; for showing me what real unconditional love is; and for not killing me, even though you have plenty of reasons to want to do just that on a daily basis. This book wouldn’t have been possible if it weren’t for you. I know I don’t say it, so I’ll put it in writing: I love you!

My other sister, Christy Mitchem—thank you for all the incredible years of friendship; for all of your support and encouragement, especially while I was writing this mess; and for being one of the first people to read this and giving me honest feedback. Here’s hoping that, in another forty years, we’re all still together, sitting on the front porch of a cabin in the mountains. Let’s hope we still have the teeth to enjoy good food, the hearing to enjoy good music, and the wits to enjoy good laughs. I think it’s safe to say that you’ve got a friend for life!

My brown friend, Leoann Claunan Shannon—I will always be glad that I took that awful real estate title search class; otherwise, we might never have become friends. Thank you for being one of the first to read my manuscript. You truly are a unique individual, and I’m glad to have a nut like you to call a friend. I hope you find much happiness and success in all that you do—and always have the time to plan more trips to the Cheesecake Factory!

To Yvonne Harper—thank you for being an advisor, mentor, and most of all, friend. Even though I am no longer a paralegal, I wouldn’t trade my time in the program for anything, because it gave me the opportunity to get to know you and many other amazing people. Thank you for being the first to read this mess and for making me believe that it might be worth something after all. Your encouragement truly helped me make the final decision to pursue my dream of becoming a writer, and I will be forever grateful for that!

A very special thank you to all of the wonderful people that I have had the privilege to work with at Archway Publishing for helping to make my dream of becoming a published author a reality. Especially: Adriane Pontecorvo and Mateo Palos for all of your help and guidance through this process; Alison Holen and Nick Holder for making my book look better than I ever imagined, both inside and out; and Aimee Reff for patiently and thoroughly explaining how the whole publishing process would work. I could not have asked for a better team of people to work with. Thank you all!

CHAPTER 1

FIRST GRADE

What is that smell? Allison Hawkins asked her first-grade class.

All the children in the room were laughing and pointing to a chubby, blond child sitting near the back of the class.

David, do you need to go to the nurse again? asked Ms. Hawkins.

N-n-no, the chubby, blond child stammered and swallowed hard. It was a clear sign that he was lying. He had a habit of doing just that when he messed his clothes, but the smell was a dead giveaway.

I think maybe you do, replied Ms. Hawkins. David stared at her with his curious blue-green eyes.

N-no, no, it’s not me. I p-promise, stammered David.

Okay, fine. If you want to sit in your own filth, go right ahead, but you will have to do it somewhere else because the rest of us do not want to smell you. I suggest you pack your books and go sit in the principal’s office. She knew it may have been a little harsh, but she had to get him out of the room. The smell was starting to make her sick.

A new fear came into David’s eyes at the mention of the principal. He hesitated only a few seconds before dropping his head and saying, I’ll go to the nurse. Several of the children began to giggle as he stood up slowly and made his way to the door.

All right, that’s enough, Ms. Hawkins scolded the laughing children. You’re welcome to return to class once you’ve been cleaned up, she said to David as he went out the door. The principal had told her at the beginning of the year that David was a special child, but he hadn’t told her why. What was so special about a child in first grade who still needed to be potty-trained?

David made his way up the hall slowly to the nurse’s office. Each morning, his mother came in and brought a change of clothes that the nurse kept in her office for these little emergencies—that’s what his mother liked to call them. David hated having these little emergencies, but he couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t know why it happened, but it embarrassed him immensely.

Once the nurse had him cleaned up, she put his soiled clothes in a large zip top bag and told him to be sure to come by after school to pick them up before he went home. Slowly, David made his way back to Ms. Hawkins’s first-grade class, the last place in the world he wanted to be.

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When school ended for the day, David went outside to wait for his father. His father was a painter, and because he set his own work schedule, he picked David up from school each day. David took his usual place at the far end of the sidewalk, away from all the other kids. He hoped he wouldn’t be noticed. He had only been standing there a few seconds when he was spotted by Kevin Lowe, a sixth grader with rotten teeth and a face full of bright-red acne. Kevin was the school bully, but for some reason, a lot of the children seemed to think he was quite funny. He strolled down the sidewalk toward David. He was followed by a group of kids, some from David’s own class.

Look who it is! It’s David Doo-Doo, Kevin said, practically shouting the words so everyone around could hear him. Whatcha doin’, David Doo-Doo, waitin’ on a ride? You know, if I was your dad, I wouldn’t want to come pick you up—’specially after what you did in class again today.

The other kids started laughing, and David just stared at the sidewalk.

Hey, does anybody else smell anything? Smells like somethin’ died, Kevin said as he snatched David’s backpack from him. Kevin unzipped the backpack and pulled out the oversized bag containing David’s dirty clothes. Look y’all, he keeps the clothes he crapped in here in his backpack. I bet he takes ’em home and doesn’t wash ’em. Probably keeps ’em as a souvenir; probably sits in his room and smells ’em and rubs it all in his fat, ugly face. The other kids thought Kevin’s statement was hysterical. You gonna rub it in your face, David Doo-Doo?

Staring at the sidewalk, David said, Leave me alone.

What? Didja say something, David Doo-Doo? I couldn’t hear ya, since you were lookin’ at the ground, Kevin said, still holding the bag of dirty clothes. Who wants to take a whiff of David’s doo-doo? Here, Clay, you wanna smell? Kevin asked, holding the bag out to a kid with dirt on his cheek.

I don’t want to smell no doo-doo, Clay said, backing away from the bag.

What about you, Carl? Kevin asked. He was a kid from David’s class.

I already had to smell it one time today, and I don’t want to smell it again, Carl said quite emphatically, which sent Kevin into a fit of laughter.

I guess that’s true, Kevin replied after he quit laughing. I bet I know who wants to smell it. He had a mean look in his eyes as he spoke the words.

Still looking down, David said, Give me back my clothes.

Kevin ignored him. Come ’ere, Kelly. You know you want to get a good whiff of your boyfriend’s nasty clothes.

Kelly Lowe was Kevin’s younger sister. She was in first grade, but she wasn’t in David’s class. She had once given David her spoon in the cafeteria, which Kevin saw and used as fodder to torment her about being in love with David ever since.

Leave me alone or I’ll tell Mom, Kelly said weakly.

Weave me awone or I’ll tell, Kevin said in his best falsetto, mocking her as he moved closer to her with the bag of clothes. Just open the bag and take a good, long whiff. If you do, I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the week.

David thought, If Kevin were making that bargain with me, I would take it. It just might be worth smelling my own filth if Kevin would leave me alone for a while.

Kevin moved closer to the terrified Kelly, unzipping the bag as he walked. The other kids were watching, some with excitement, others scared they would be next. Oh my God! That is the most— That was as far as Kevin got before he started making retching sounds. That is the most dis— he tried again. For a second, it looked as if he really might vomit. David would have laughed, but he was afraid of what Kevin would do once he stopped gagging.

Kelly took the opportunity to turn and run. David wished he could do the same. Kevin then threw the bag at David, which flipped over in midair, spilling its contents onto David’s shoes.

Well that’s just yucky, said Kevin. You really are a disgusting hemorrhoid.

What is going on over here? came a loud voice that made all the kids stop laughing immediately. Someone answer me, Mr. Tidwell continued.

David pooped his pants, Kevin volunteered enthusiastically.

Again? was Mr. Tidwell’s exasperated reply. What are we going to do with you? he asked David, noticing the pile of clothes on David’s feet.

David wasn’t sure whether Mr. Tidwell really wanted an answer. Even if he did, David was too stunned to give him one because his dad’s truck appeared around the corner right at that moment. David knew he would be in major trouble. He kicked the clothes back into the bag and picked it up, desperately trying to stuff it into his backpack before his dad could spot it.

All right, you kids get out of here and leave this poor boy alone, Mr. Tidwell said.

The kids started walking away as David’s dad pulled up to the curb. When he saw Mr. Tidwell, he got out of the truck. What seems to be the problem, Titus, he asked, but David could tell by the look on his face that he knew exactly what the problem was.

John, it seems your son has had another accident. I thought we were working on this problem.

I can assure you we are, David’s dad said, looking very annoyed.

I think you should get him home and get him cleaned up. An empty potato chip bag blew by, and he bent down to pick it up. Kids these days just don’t have any manners, he said, spotting a child climbing the nearby flagpole. Hey, you! he bellowed. Get your butt down from there before you fall!

David’s dad frowned as he told him to get in the truck. Sorry about this, Titus, David heard him say as he walked around to his side of the truck and slammed the door. Roll down the window, he said and started up the truck.

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Several days later David had another little emergency. It happened just as school was letting out for the day. If anyone in his class noticed, no one said anything. However, his father did noticed as soon as David got into the truck. David had expected an outburst, but his father had been unusually quiet. Once home, David walked into the house and started down the hall to his bedroom.

Where do you think you’re going? his dad asked in an angry voice.

To clean up and change clothes.

No you’re not.

I must have heard him wrong, David thought. What? he asked.

"I said, no you’re not. John Williams was trying his best to avoid losing his temper and start yelling at his son. If you insist on continuing to do this, then you can wear those nasty clothes for the rest of the day. Obviously, it doesn’t bother you."

But these clothes are dirty, and they stink, David protested.

And why is that exactly?

David wasn’t sure how to answer. He wanted to run to his bedroom, slam the door, and get out of the foul clothes.

I have an idea that may make you think twice before you do this again, his dad said in a serious tone. Suddenly, David was nervous. This is something that I’ve been thinking about for a while. I want you to go into the bathroom and take off those clothes and wash out your underwear in the toilet until they are clean. Since someone else always has to clean up your sickening messes, we’ll see how you like doing it yourself. Maybe you’ll think twice before you do it again.

You want me to … to put my hands in the toilet and— David began, not comprehending what his father was saying to him.

Yes, I want you to put your hands in the toilet, in your own filth, and wash your underwear until their clean, his dad said. It will be disgusting, but maybe it will make you avoid doing this again.

Please … I … don’t … want … to, David stated in between sobs.

I don’t care what you want! Get to the bathroom now! John Williams felt sorry for his son, but he was also growing very weary of these little emergencies.

David took a couple of steps toward the bathroom, but he stopped and began pleading again. Please—

I will not tell you again, he said in a calm voice.

Sobbing, David made his way to the bathroom. His dad followed and stood blocking the doorway so that David couldn’t run away.

"Take off those