Thank You Jesus! You Never Change

By Frances Purnell-Dampier

You have cancer! These are chilling words to hear, which no human soul should ever have to hear, but that was the case for this author, like so many unsuspecting souls. This bold, serious, jaw-dropping, inspirational journal explores the stark, undeniable facts about the disease and the psychological and physical toll it takes on the mind and body. It permeates the mind of the authors as she investigates ways to combat the disease. She becomes a fierce warrior against the disease. Because of the deep faith in God possessed by the author, the journal becomes instrumental in helping not only her but uses the journal as a means of helping others who maybe questioning Why me? and going through the same insurmountable journey.

The spiritually filled journal provides many valuable tips on how to remain serene, healthy, and positive as she maneuvers through chemotherapy and radiation. It gives clues to avoid falling into dangerous routines and false information. The author enjoys soulful southern cooking, which became a lifeline for her very survival. She uses this somber time to write, reflect, and experiment with delicious recipes, which accounted for her positive outcomes and the most satisfying, mouthwatering recipes one would ever hope to devour.

Although struck with a horrifying disease, this author took the high road and determined that with God, all things are possible and that nothing could interfere with the life and goals she still needed to conquer. Cancer was only a tool to a much greater means. Her mission was to reach as many people as possible to let them know that God would provide them with life abundantly.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing
• Release date: Apr 27, 2015
• ISBN: 9781490757803

Frances Purnell-Dampier

Frances Purnell-Dampier was born in Winona, Mississippi, and grew up in the small town of Greenwood, Mississippi. She is presently a retired educator after thirty-nine years of service. Frances taught English at Sunnyvale Middle School for over twenty years and was honored as teacher of the year. She later became assistant principal and principal in the Sunnyvale School District and became management team member of the year in 2009. As the principal of Sunnyvale Middle School, Frances was appointed as ACSA’s middle school representative for the state of California. Frances also served as the principal of Bishop Elementary School in Sunnyvale, California, for seven years. While at Bishop, the school received top achievement awards from Gray Davis, the governor of California, and notable achievements from the United States Education Secretary Richard Riley. Frances acquired her Bachelor of Science degree at Jackson State University in Jackson, Mississippi, and her master’s degree in administrative services at La Verne University in California. Frances is an active member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, LinkedIn, NAACP, National Professional Women Association, and the Tracy Community Church. Her biography is included in both Who’s Who of American Women (1989–90) and International Who’s Who (2000) editions. Frances has successfully been published in two works of poetry. Her poems include “Barack Obama” in Collected Whispers and “America’s Unraveling” in Stars in Our Hearts. Frances has three sons, two daughters-in-law, seven grandchildren, two grandchildren by marriage, and two sisters. She resides in Tracy, California.

Book preview

Thank You,

Jesus!

You Never

Change

Frances Purnell-Dampier

©

Copyright 2015 Frances Purnell-Dampier.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

Scripture quotations marked GNT are taken from the Good News Translation — Second Edition. Copyright © 1992 by American Bible Society. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4907-5781-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4907-5780-3 (e)

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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Trafford rev. 03/25/2015

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Contents

~ Dedication ~

~ Introduction ~

1. Memories of Surgery one (Hysterectomy) and Surgery two (Blocked bowel)

2. Maureen’s Family Perspective

3. Preparing for Chemotherapy

a. Meeting with the Oncologist

b. Going to Orientation

1. Medicines you can or cannot take:

2. Side Effects:

3. Techniques to Help Control Nausea/Vomiting:

4. Techniques to Help Fatigue:

5. Dealing With Hair Loss:

6. Dealing With Neutropenia (Low White Blood Cells):

7. Healthy Eating:

8. Healthy Tips:

c. The Day before Chemotherapy

4. Chemotherapy and Radiation

a) 21 Weeks of a Personal Narrative journaling tips, recipes and advice while battling uterine cancer

b) Appetizing, Mouthwatering Recipes

c) Samples of Daily Family Updates

~ Dedication ~

In loving memory of every cancer patient, family, and friends who have lost the battle with cancer and the ones who continue to conquer it.

From The Pink Ribbon Page

To my incredible family and friends who stood with me throughout this entire illness. I witnessed an insurmountable amount of unconditional love from my entire family. Thank you my sons, daughters - in-law, grandchildren, and my two sisters. Thank you for all of my loving friends who kept in contacts through visits, letters, cards or messages. Without this enormous support, encouraging words and deeds, love and devotion, I would not have been able to endure my journey. I am also thankful and grateful for my longtime friend, Carol Wilson who volunteered to type this journal for me and my good friend Shelley Capovilla who designed the beautiful angel cover for me.

I deeply thank God, Almighty for bringing me through this journey. My life now has new purpose and deeper meaning because of the renewed energy and commitment this experience has brought into my life.

~ Introduction ~

My stepfather was a Baptist minister. On many Sunday mornings, I have heard him preach about Jesus and his crucifixion. He would preach about how people complained about this problem and that problem and moaned about why bad things had to happen to them. At the end of hearing them complain, he would say, Why not you? Then he would tell the congregation what Jesus endured marching to Calvary to be hung on the cross. When I found out I had cancer, like so many people my first inclination was to question, Why me? It was then that I remembered my stepfather’s sermon. I don’t have very good recollections of most of the events which transpired after my diagnosis, but I do remember that before that dreadful day, life was very good. I was quite busy being the social action chairperson for my sorority, Delta Sigma Theta. We were helping with our academy girls on Saturday and teaching them about goals, life skills and historical happenings. We were engaged in empowerment day with teenage girls in the community and doing fundraisers like our yearly crab feed and football tickets to basketball games. I was working with the Democratic Club to get potential candidates elected in the November elections. My family and I were planning a spectacular reunion at Big Bear in August. Once a year, we committed that despite everyone’s schedule, we would do something great. I had found a new church which was so spiritually uplifting and just what I had been seeking.

And then my world was shattered. For about three days, I noticed a very light pinkish discharge in the water when I urinated. It wasn’t in my panties or heavy like a period. But I knew I was too old for a period again. Heavens forbid!! On the fourth day, I heard a God whisper telling me to contact the doctor just as a precaution. So I emailed my doctor. He emailed me back and asked me to go to Kaiser to take a urine test. Later, he emailed that the lab test showed no infection in the body. Therefore, he said to make an appointment with my gynecologist. I made the appointment not thinking anything was really wrong. My mother had had bleeding before as I remembered and they did something called a D & C- scrapping the uterus. I didn’t want that but that was in the back of my mind. When I went in, the gynecologist said she was going to do a biopsy. That was surprising. I had never had one before or heard from friends who had had one either. Let me tell you, it hurt. She took three snippets and each was painful. I wondered later why she didn’t use a local anesthetic. She said it might take up to seven days to get the results. I told her that my family would be in Big Bear by then. A few days later, her nurse called and asked me to come in. I still did not think anything of it. The doctor came in looking nervous. She said she had put a rush on the results, since I was going on the family vacation.

Then she dropped the bomb. Ms. Dampier, I’m so sorry but the tests results show that you have abnormal cell growth. Stupidly, I said, And what does that mean? She said shaking and almost in tears, I am so sorry, you have cancer! Stunned, I stared at her. Regaining my composure I said, Is this precancerous? Again she replied, No, I’m afraid it’s cancer. We don’t know what stage yet, but I want you to be prepared to get a full hysterectomy. What hospital is closest to you? Stockton, or Sacramento? They have cancer centers there. Suddenly, I jerked myself back into reality because I had drifted off into never never land. A God whisper took over and I asked if there was a cancer center in Santa Clara because that would be closer to my boys. She looked and by God’s grace, there was one. I guess I looked too calm because she said, Are you alright? I said, Well, I guess not I stammered. I guess this might sound strange to you but I’m just wondering how this could be happening. My God promised me a longtime ago that if I just trusted him and believed in him, I’d be alright. I can’t wrap my head around this one. What is this about? I’ve got to go home and have a talk with God. She didn’t know how to react to me. So I said, When do I need to have this surgery? Quickly, right away," she answered. I told her that we could schedule it the Tuesday or Wednesday after my family vacation.

So I went home driving blindly. My mind was blank, frozen, bewildered and in a state of utter confusion. As I stumbled into the house and sat on the couch, I looked up to God and I said, Oh Lord, I know I’m not suppose to question you, but I don’t understand. Why cancer? I don’t even think it because it is so negative. I surround myself with angels, books on positive thinking, bibles and shows that speak to good events. I am helping two people now who have cancers trying to lift them up and bring your light to them! How can I help them if I am sick? You have got to reveal to me why I have this dreaded disease. Then after praying and sitting in a Zen like state I started crying because I didn’t know how I was going to tell my boys and their families. I decided that I didn’t want to ruin our vacation. I would tell them I had some cell abnormalities related to my fibroids and would have to have a hysterectomy after the vacation. A half truth sounded better than cancer. I have three sons. My oldest two are stronger and can handle more than my youngest. They are all mama boys, but my youngest is more of a mama’s boy than the other two. I called the oldest and middle son and told them.

They didn’t quite understand it all so my oldest put his wife on the phone too. Later, my son’s wife read between the lines and texted me if the abnormal cells meant what she thought it meant. I texted her that it did mean cancer, but I didn’t want the boys to know yet. Eventually, my boys started doing their own research on the internet and realized what abnormal cells meant. They were very upset but they talked it out and we decided not to tell my youngest until after the vacation days. Big Bear was extraordinarily so much fun. We went water boarding, jet skiing, hiking and shopping. We had an international meal where each family made a dish at their cabin and everyone brought this food to my cabin and we ate like pigs. We barbecued at the cabin, reminisced about their childhood and just spent quality time. The grandchildren played dominoes cards, video games together and life was good.

The last night at Big Bear, my oldest came to me and said they felt like they had to tell my youngest. They all went out to the patio. They asked me to let them tell him and his wife. They stayed out there it seemed like hours. Finally they all came in looking sad except my youngest. I asked where he was and they said he went for a walk. A little later, he came in. I went up to him and I saw tears streaming down his face. So as not to let the grandkids see him, I took him into the bathroom. He cried like a baby. I hugged him ever so tightly and he reminded him of my strong belief in God. I told him of different situations and said, Didn’t God bring us through that? If God brought us through those things he wasn’t going to quit now. Right? He nodded and stopped crying. He put up a brave front for the sake of the children and the journey began.

~ 1 ~

Memories of Surgery one (Hysterectomy) and Surgery two (Blocked bowel)

Returning home from Big Bear, I started thinking about the important steps I needed to take to get ready for the hysterectomy. To my surprise, I received a call from my youngest son, Desmond and his wife, Maureen. They were so worried about me when they left Big Bear that they never drove home instead they drove straight to my house. That was great because they were able to drive me to the hospital the next day. After returning home on August 4 which was a Monday, I prepared myself for Tuesday, August 5. Desmond, Maureen and I left home early so we could be at Kaiser’s Nuclear Department promptly at 12:00 pm. We decided to get there by 11:00 am so as not to be late. I had to take a PET scan, an EKG and an x-ray. These tests were going to be sent to the doctors that afternoon and if everything was fine, I would be able to do the surgery as planned the next day. Maureen, Desmond and I strategically organized the tests so we could tackle them logically because some of them were on different floors and areas. I was told not to eat at least six hours before the PET scan which meant no breakfast.

I was also told to wear loose fitting clothes and to leave all jewelry at home. After the PET scan, I was to drink lots of water to get the radiation out of my bladder. We were able to complete all tests, thank goodness. Maureen and Desmond were real champions with me the whole time. We made an excellent team.

I had decided to stay overnight at the Wyndham Garden Hotel near the airport and not too far from Kaiser because surgery was the next day, Wednesday. It was going to be an outpatient procedure. My instructions were to report to admitting surgery at 2:00 pm. I was to wear loose fitting clothes and low heeled shoes because after surgery, I would be somewhat unsteady. I was told to eat a light dinner. I couldn’t wait for that because I was hungry after not eating since the night before. I could drink clear liquids like cranberry juice, jello, water, broth, coffee or tea but no cream or milk. I was not to wear makeup and the most important thing was to self- administer a Fleet enema at 8:30 pm Tuesday night. That seemed scary to me because I had never done one to myself. I remembered that when I was young, my mother had given me one when I was constipated. It wasn’t very fun either.

Desmond and Maureen kept my mind off of the surgery. We decided to eat a light dinner at Marie Callenders. Amazingly enough, I ate salmon and it was delicious. After we got back to the hotel, Desmond and Maureen decided to go shopping to give me a chance to use the enema in private. I guess I didn’t read the directions correctly because nothing happened after I administered it. I was so frightened that they would postpone the surgery if I didn’t get that thing working that I called Desmond and Maureen in a panicky voice. They calmed me down and Maureen said they would bring me another one from the drugstore. She told me to hold the water in as long as I could and so I tried that and it worked! What a relief that was literally!

The next morning, Desmond and Maureen drove me to the hospital. As we sat anxiously in the waiting room Charles, my oldest walked in and kissed me and greeted Maureen and Desmond. To my surprise, several minutes later, in walked Trevis with my younger sister, Deloris. He had picked her up from the airport. She had flown in all the way from Atlanta, Georgia to support me and the whole family was in on the surprise. I was simply elated to see her. What a wonderful sister she was to come so far!

The surgery went well the doctor reported to the family and afterward Desmond and Maureen drove me and my sister back to Tracy, my home. My grandchildren, Christion, Deion and Jasmine were there waiting for me. I hugged them big time and hobbled on up the stairs to my bedroom.

I hurt all over from head to toe it seemed and I could not get in or out of bed by myself. My sister, Lois slept across the hall from me so every time I called her name at night to go to the bathroom, she came running. She had to literally carefully lift me up and then out of bed and assist me to the bathroom a few times at night. She was a life saver. I had never depended on anyone before but I sure needed someone then. So my doctor had said I could eat anything I wanted the next day so Maureen and Deloris made me a breakfast fit for a queen. I had grits, bacon, eggs, toast and orange juice. Desmond made me a coffee latte with whip cream from his huge coffee machine. I was so happy with the delicious meal but for some reason, I couldn’t eat much of it. Just looking at it made me nauseous.

That night I threw up all of the food in a bag they had given me at the hospital. Maureen and Deloris tried to feed me another great breakfast the next day but I just couldn’t eat it. I felt so sick. Maureen finally called the advice nurse at Kaiser who spoke to a doctor on call. The nurse said she was going to have the doctor call me and prescribe some medicine that I could pick up at Walgreen for nausea, but the doctor never called. After hours, my son, Desmond crawled up in bed with me looking at how sick I was looking and he said he was going to call the hospital again. He is so sensitive and could not bear seeing me look so helpless. When he spoke to the advice nurse, she said she had spoken to a doctor who told her to tell us to go straight to the Kaiser emergency in Manteca. Desmond asked if I wanted to go. At first I said no but then on second thought, I said maybe we had better go because I didn’t think I could make it another night without the nausea medicine. Deloris stayed with my grandchildren while we got ready to go.

When we got there, the doctors ran a complete battery of tests. Finally, after a CAT scan, they figured out that I had a bowel blockage. My system was backing up. They immediately placed a tube down my throat and all of the filthy bowel liquid overflowed all over my clothes. I felt like the child from the movie, The exorcist. I could have died had I not come into emergency. Thank God for Desmond and Maureen calling the hospital. Thank goodness the other incompetent nurse never prescribed the nausea medicine either. Thank you, Jesus for watching over me. That night, Kaiser Santa Clara sent an ambulance for me to transport me back there for yet another surgery. Because it was Friday night, we had to wait until Monday before seeing my surgeon again. My surgeon advised that we needed to do another surgery to unblock the bowels and scheduled it for the next day, Tuesday.

Horribly enough, I would have to undergo the old fashioned surgery which entailed a long cut from the navel to the pelvic bone. The previous laparoscopic surgery was supposed to take two to three weeks to heal but this one could take up to six or eight weeks. The surgery was successful or so the surgeon said. Maureen reminded me that after surgery, the nurse told us that as I was coming to I was talking to God and said, Thank you, Jesus, you never change. It took days before I could have just a minimal bowel movement and the days were very hard. My sons and daughters in law took turns staying with me twenty-four hours a day. They slept on hard cots and took time from their jobs just to be with me. My granddaughters Jenee and Tiana came every day and spent the whole day with me. Deloris stayed at home with my other grandchildren until it was her turn to come to the hospital to visit. Maureen was my knight in shining armor. She learned how to disconnect all the wires to the IV so that we could get to the bathroom right away. My boys jumped up every time I had to gag and cough all through the night to hold the cup for saliva and wipe my mouth. They gave me ice chips to cool and soothe my throat. Jenee put on fresh makeup and combed my hair into a pony tail something I hadn’t had since elementary school and Tiana did all of her homework in the hospital room rather than going home. She didn’t want to leave me.

We all walked around the hospital together and they cheered me on every step I made. Trevis was a drill sergeant and everyday he came over from work, he would make sure I got up and walked. Charles would give me a little leeway if I said I wasn’t feeling up to it yet- but not Trevis! He knew how important it was for my recovery. After so many days there, Desmond had used all of his sick days and needed to return to Irvine. Maureen wouldn’t hear of going home yet and she just cried and cried. Pretty soon, I had to convince her to go home because Minna, my other daughter in law was going to take over her job. Reluctantly Maureen and Desmond left. Virgina, my other daughter in law to be also stepped up and she began to rub my feet every day. She and Trevis looked up pressure points in the feet for constipation. After one night of rubbing and pushing pressure points for over an hour, I actually had a small movement. A miracle had occurred! We were all so happy. Minna took over like a champion and did a fantastic job helping me to the bathroom, and everything else I needed. I didn’t like someone else having to bathe me but Minna and Charles made sure the nurses