Ordinary Times; Extraordinary Measures

By Danielle Davis

Neomi Jean Hattisburg is a young Negro woman who comes of age during the 1930s. Her father, a railroad porter, and her mother, a domestic worker, instill in her a strong sense of faith and respect, however, she finds herself confused because of her appearance, (she looks White), and the way she is treated by Whites and Negroes as a result.

When she falls in love with Moses Jackson, a young man she never noticed when they attended kindergarten through high school together, his focused plans to attend college and become an attorney to work for civil rights helps her gain clarity of her own. They make plans together to further their education and eventually marry.

Their plans are interrupted by the outbreak of WWII and the bombing of Pearl Harbor, when Moses feels compelled to enlist in the Army Air Corps. As he goes through training with the 332nd Airborne unit, Neomi continues to save toward their dreams, working as a domestic worker in the home of a wealthy White family.

One evening, while working late, Neomi is raped by the son of her employers.

Overwhelmed by shame and unwarranted guilt, the discovery several weeks later that she is pregnant makes her decide that, in order to avoid bringing shame on Moses and her family, she must leave, and start a new life elsewhere. Knowing that it will be difficult to provide for herself and her child with employment available to Negroes, she decides to pass for White, and makes her way to Chicago, Illinois to start her new life.

There, she obtains a job on the sales floor in a major department store and sets about living a White life, telling everyone her husband was lost in the war to explain her pregnancy. Over the next few years she works her way up to department head, and works hard to forget Moses. It is there that the son & heir to the department store chain discovers and takes an interest in her. They begin dating and eventually marry.

The marriage is successful in that they truly love each other. Neomi finds herself living a lifestyle she could only have imagined, even though she must come to terms with her guilt over living a privileged life while her own people struggle for equality. The first child they have together looks just like her husband, and it only solidifies their marriage. However, when their second child is born, he is obviously a Negro, and Neomis false world falls to pieces.

It is the journey Neomi must travel, the trials and tribulations her choices bring her to, and the faith that gets her through it all, that combine to make Ordinary Times: Extraordinary Measures a must read.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing
• Release date: Apr 14, 2016
• ISBN: 9781490768588

Book preview

Prologue

Decatur, Georgia

June, 1935

D own by the ocean, down by the sea, Johnnie broke a bottle and blamed it on me, I told Ma, Ma told Pa, Johnnie got a whippin’ so ha - ha - ha!

The little girl’s antics, tripping over the jump rope while she tried her best not to fall was so funny to Marilyn and Neomi that their ha-ha-ha’s disintegrated into giggles. Wildly flapping her spindly arms, the little girl failed in her attempt to maintain balance and fell soundly on her rump.

Umph!

The giggles erupted into gut wrenching laughter.

Cyn, I swear, you the saddest rope jumper I ever seen, laughed Marilyn, collapsing on the ground with mirth. Seeing Cynthia’s desperate attempts to blink away tears of embarrassment, Neomi tried to stifle her own laughter, reaching down a hand to help Marilyn’s little sister up.

Aw Cyn, you ain’t the worst jumper. You wouldn’t believe it by the way she laughin’ but I seen Marilyn fall over easier jumps ’n that!

The big chocolate eyes in Cynthia’s little round mahogany face brightened with each word. She quickly swiped a sleeve across them before taking Neomi’s outstretched hand. At seven years old, she tried hard to measure up to the sophisticated twelve years of Neomi and Marilyn, and when kidded, she took it hard.

Marilyn and Neomi had been best friends since before Cynthia’s birth and she loved to be with them. They knew so much more about stuff than the kids her age.

Sobering, Marilyn eyed the muted colors of the dusky sky. Hey, it’s almost dark and you know Mama and Papa’ll kill us if we get home after dark, she observed to her little shadow. C’mon Cyn, we better get on home.

Yeah, I better get inside and help Mama, too, Neomi agreed, reaching up to pull some blades of grass out of the puff balls on each side of Marilyn’s head. What y’all wanna do tomorrow?

Mama said we ’sposed to go to Papaw and Big Mama’s house to pick they cherries, ’member? Cyn piped up.

Oh yeah! Marilyn’s eyes, so black it was hard to see where irises stopped and pupils began, suddenly brightened with excitement. Turning to Neomi she urged, See if you can come with us! It’s fun climbin’ trees and pickin cherries. We always get to eat as much as we pick, and then Big Mama makes the best cherry pies for us!

Nodding briskly, Neomi agreed. That do sound fun. I’ll ask Mama tonight. If she says I can, what time we gonna go?

"I don’t know, but we always go early. Marilyn’s expression spoke volumes about how early, even as she cast another worried glance toward the sky. I’ll ask my Mama to call yours. Hopefully that Miz Lucy won’t be tyin’ up the party line all night again," she added, thinking of the lady that shared their phone service. Then, she cast another worried glance at the sky.

We really better go now, though. C’mon, Cyn!

Neomi watched as her friends took off running toward home. Before they turned the corner they looked back and waved.

Bye! With a last wave she turned to go into her house.

As she entered her house, Neomi was immediately enveloped by warm familiarity. She didn’t notice the slight yellowing of walls that were at one time white, or that the furnishings and rugs were well worn. The wonderful smells coming from the kitchen told her that Mama was fixing dinner, and she knew without even looking that Daddy would be in the living room, reading the paper and rocking in his chair. Her brother Danny would probably be reading another one of those Buck Rogers comic books. She didn’t know how he could be so engrossed in those stories. Honestly, it was bad enough that he was always readin’ comics - but ones about outer space stuff at that!

Hi, baby. Yo’ friends gone?

As Neomi entered the kitchen, Mama turned from the stove with a smile. At 44, she was an attractive woman whose smile could warm up an igloo. A few strands of gray at her temple and her work-roughened hands betrayed her age. As a young girl she had turned many heads with her hourglass figure. She and Daddy had tried for several years before she’d conceived Danny, and then Neomi had come right along the next year. The extra pounds she hadn’t been able to shake since their births, added to her five feet three inch frame, gave her the appearance of plumpness. To Neomi, she was just the Mama she loved dearly.

Yes ma’am. They had to be home before dark so they left. They asked if I can go with them to they Big Mama’s house to pick cherries tomorrow. Is it ok?

I don’t see why not since school is out now, Mama answered, turning back to stir something in one of the pots on the stove. What time they goin’?

Marilyn said Miz Harris’ll call you, Neomi answered, eyeing the pots and pans on the stove. The tantalizing aroma had her stomach growling. Whatcha cookin’?

Jest some red beans, rice and fried chicken. Mama pressed her hands to the small of her back and stretched. Ooh, my aching’ back. She eased down into a nearby chair and flexed her feet.

Go get Mama’s slippers for her, will ya baby? I don’t know why I didn’t put ’em on when I first came home.

Neomi crossed over to her mother, reached around from behind and gave her a quick hug. Yes, ma’am, I’ll get em for ya. Didja have a bad day today? She looked with love at Mama’s face and brushed back a stray hair. There were fine lines of stress on skin the color of coffee with a hint of cream that once had been smooth as silk, but all Neomi saw was the woman who was the center of her family, loving them all and making their house a home.

It wadn’t no worse than any other. When you spend yo’ days cleanin’ an’ cookin’ an’ mending for other folk’s families, they ain’t no easy days, honey. Oh! Miz Robinson say you can work some days this summer if you wanna earn some extra money. She say she cain’t get her kids, Christopher and Celia, to do nothin.

Humph, she don’t make em do nothin, she mean, Neomi answered, feeling a quick flash of resentment. Just as quickly it was gone. But I always like to go with you, anyway, ‘specially to the Robinsons. An’ sometimes, after I finish with the piddly stuff Miz Robinson have me do, I play with Christopher and Celia’s toys - when they not bein’ snobby, that is.

You better not play with them or their stuff. I’m sho’ Miz Robinson wouldn’t like it too much. White folks don’t like they kids mixin with colored ones.

I don’t mix with ’em, Mama. I just play with their toys sometimes. Gee whiz, they ain’t no better than nobody else, anyway. They jest white. What’s the big deal?

Neomi Jean Hattisburg! Are you sassin me? Leola Hattisburg turned sharply, nailing Neomi with a razor sharp stare.

Neomi ducked her head. No, ma’am.

Well jest go git my slippers – and while you at it, wash yo’ hands so you can set the table.

Shoot, why I always got to set the table, thought Neomi, though she obediently went to wash her hands. Looking at the mirror over the sink, she indulged in a pity party to which only the girl with vanilla skin, hazel eyes and fine, wavy, ash brown hair scowling back at her was invited. Danny never has to set the table. Danny never has to wash the dishes, Danny never has to fold the clothes, Danny never has to do none of the work to help Mama ’round the house. Who he think he is? Who Mama think he is - the next Buck Rogers?

The image in the mirror began to smile as Neomi imagined white folks like the Robinsons seeing her brown Buck Rogers brother, zippin’ around their neighborhoods and over their houses in a little spaceship. Now wouldn’t that be a sight! Them people would probably pee they pants and run fo’ they guns! The picture in her mind brought forth a giggle and put her in a better mood as she dried her hands and went to grab Mama’s slippers.

…and he grabbed her arm and pulled her off in a hurry, like, and I heard him askin her why she wanted to carry on a conversation with a nigger. I jest shook my head and took they bags to the cab stand. All she’d did was say what a nice day it were and ask me if I had a family and what we was plannin’ to do for the fourth of July. I jest don’t know why white men are so scared of their women talkin’ to colored men. Heh, heh, we don’ want nothin’ from ’em but them big tips they gives!

Neomi came back into the room to give Mama her slippers and set the table in time to hear her father’s conversation with her mother. Daddy’s pale, handsome face was red with mirth, and Mama was laughing right along with him.

"Well, honey, you jest cain’t let white folkses booshwash get to you. Lord knows Miz Robinson got her ways, too. Like they thinks we animals or somethin’. I mean, worser than animals. They treats their dog Fluffy with mo’ respect than they give me, and I cook all they meals and take care o’ they children all day!"

Neomi felt her lips curving into a smile though she didn’t know why. It really wasn’t funny, the way white folks treated colored folks. That brought to mind the way the ones who didn’t already know her seemed to treat her different until they saw her colored friends with her. Almost like they thought she was different from other colored people. Yep – white folks was strange alright…

Dinner passed like all the other dinners at the Hattisburg house, with Mama and Daddy carryin’ on their conversation about the way the day went; sometimes bringing Neomi and Danny into the conversation with questions about what had happened during their day. After dinner was the same, too. Neomi helped Mama clear the table and wash dishes while Daddy and Danny went about their business doing nothing.

After the dishes were done, the whole family listened to the radio. Tonight, the show was The Shadow, one of their favorites. Every time Neomi heard that evil laugh & the evil sounding voice saying, The Shadow Knows, chills went down her back. This evening, as Neomi listened to the show, her parents’ earlier conversation went through her mind and she imagined that colored folk were the shadows that white folks didn’t want to see….….

Chapter 1

June, 1940

C ’mon, Neomi. It’s our turn to line up! Marilyn was excitedly pulling her arm as Neomi tried to put the finishing touches on her hair under the cap.

Forget it, that fly away stuff never did do what you wanted it to. Let’s go!

Neomi gave up, put the brush down and turned away from the mirror. OK, OK, I’m coming. What’re you worried about, anyway? We’re gonna graduate whether we’re in the right space in line or not.

With a haste that belied her words, Neomi rushed with Marilyn to take their places in line. As it had been throughout their school years since elementary days, the line up had Neomi in front of Moses Jackson and behind Marilyn Harris, who was behind Joshua Griffin.

Just think, Marilyn, after twelve long years, this is the last time we’ll have to stand in exactly this order. You will never again have to look at Josh’s back while Moses looks at mine.

Overhearing her remark, Moses said, The view from back here’s pretty snazzy, so I ain’t complainin’!

Both girls cast amused looks back at Moses, but before Neomi could reply, the line started moving. The Negro school in Decatur had no auditorium, so the graduations were always held at Big Bethel AME Church in Atlanta. The graduates proudly marched down the center aisle toward the choir stand in time to the Pomp & Circumstance music Mr. Davis played on the piano.

As they marched, Marilyn smiled to herself. How many times had she told Neomi that Moses had the eagers for her? The way he always tried to talk to her - heck - the way he always looked at her! She’d told Neomi that all she had to do was crook her little finger and she would have that swooney Moses Jackson in the palm of her hand. But no, Neomi had never been interested. For some reason she had a crush on that Christopher Robinson, though she wouldn’t admit it. As though that white boy would have anything to do with a colored girl. Sure, he looked at Neomi like he could eat her up, but shucks, every colored girl knew just how much that meant. That is, except Neomi. For sure, sweet as she was, that girl had no idea that just ’cause she looked white didn’t mean that white folks would accept her any quicker than any other colored girl. When it came down to it, white folks stuck to white folks and colored folks – even the high yellow ones - better stick to colored folks! Shoot, we cain’t even go to the same schools!

Miss Marilyn Harris.

Marilyn’s thoughts were interrupted by the announcement of her name. As she proudly walked across the pulpit to receive her diploma, she heard her family cheering. And quite a large family it was. Somehow, however, over the cheers of her parents and her six brothers and sisters, it seemed she could hear Cyn’s voice the loudest of all.

Yay, Marilyn. Way to go, girl!

Miss Neomi Hattisburg.

Neomi could hear Danny’s whistle as she walked out to receive her diploma. In the crowded sanctuary, she couldn’t see her family but she knew they were there and how they looked. Daddy would have his chest puffed out as he applauded; Mama would have tears in her eyes. She was only the second Hattisburg to graduate from high school - Danny had done so last year, and that’s how they had looked then. Neomi knew her parents were proud that both of their offspring had graduated from high school. Heck, she was pretty doggone proud of herself!

Two hours later, both girls were in the colored area at Decatur Park, celebrating the event with their families and the families of the other graduates. It was supposed to be a surprise, this party at the park, but it wasn’t because it was the same thing that happened every time a colored senior class graduated. This area of Decatur Park was about the only place where it was acceptable for colored folk to hang out. There was even a colored swimming hole nearby, though the main lake was set aside for white folk.

"I told you, I told you that Moses likes you, Neomi, Marilyn said to her friend. Just you play your cards right and your last name will be Jackson in another year or two."

Girl, please! Will you quit on the Moses thing? He’s a nice boy but for one thing, I ain’t studyin’ whether he likes me or not - and mind you, I ain’t agreeing that he does - and for the second thing, I got plans that don’t include settling down in no southern cracker town. After all, this is 1940. I got things to do and places to see!

Marilyn glared at her friend with her hands on her hips. Well just what things you got to do and which places do you want to see? When you gonna wake up and realize that the only thing for a colored girl to do is get married and have colored children? ’Bout the only thing white folks is gonna let you do is have some babies, and ’bout the only thing they gonna let you see is the inside of their kitchens! Heck, they don’t even let us…

Marilyn’s words trailed off as she noticed that Neomi wasn’t paying attention to her, she was looking toward… dang if it wasn’t Christopher Robinson coming across the field headed straight toward Neomi with a rose in his hand. The nerve of that white boy!

Hello, Neomi, Christopher smiled into her eyes, ignoring Marilyn’s presence.

Hi, Chris, Neomi smiled back into his, ignoring her friend’s disgusted Hmph! as Marilyn stalked away.

Congratulations on your graduation. I know your folks are mighty proud of you. I am, too. Christopher held out the rose.

Oh, Chris, thank you! This is so sweet of you, Neomi replied, taking the rose while coyly looking up at Chris’ tall form through her lashes. Playing down the pride she’d felt only a couple of hours ago she said, Graduating isn’t such a big thing. You graduated yourself a few years ago. You’ll be graduating from college in another year or so.

Christopher’s electric blue eyes gleamed with amusement, and something else that, though she couldn’t quite identify it, nevertheless sent quivers through Neomi’s nerve endings. She wasn’t sure when she had become aware of how attractive he was, with his blonde hair and startling eyes. His long narrow nose didn’t have the wide nostrils of the boys in her school, and his lips weren’t puffy and wide. In fact, they seemed practically non-existent. She was fascinated by and attracted to his appearance, so different from the colored features she was used to. And the attention he had been paying to her over the past year when she accompanied her mother to work in his house was vastly different from the way he’d treated her in all previous years. Neomi couldn’t help the excitement she felt at the thought that Chris might really like her!

Watching from a slight distance, Marilyn couldn’t believe her eyes. Here Neomi was, carrying on a conversation – flirting, even! - with the son of the richest white folks in town, right here in the middle of a park celebration for colored kids! And callin’ him Chris instead of Christopher, she thought in consternation. What is that girl thinking of? Let me go protect this girl from herself. I’m going to break up this stuff right now!

Um, Neomi, Marilyn linked her elbow through the arm Neomi had propped on her hip. Um, I think everybody’s ready for us to come over to the table now. When there was no answer, she repeated,

Neomi?

OK, Marilyn. You go ahead and I’ll be over in a minute. Neomi never took her eyes off Christopher. She was now holding the rose up to her nose with her other hand.

It was so nice of you to bring this to me, Chris. Inhaling deeply she said, Oh, it smells so good.

Giving up, Marilyn turned to walk away, noticing Moses staring at Neomi and Christopher. What is wrong with that girl? Here she’s got that fine Moses wrapped around her finger and she’s got her eyes on that white boy. That’s just why she don’t have that many friends, she thought to herself. I always thought it was because they was jealous of her ’cause she looks like a white girl. Maybe it’s because she really thinks she’s a white girl!

As soon as the thought crossed her mind, Marilyn felt ashamed. This was her best friend she was thinking these mean thoughts about. Well, I just hope she knows what she’s doing, Marilyn thought. As she joined the others at the table, she heard the conversation they were carrying on.

What’s that white boy doin’ here, and why is Ben’s girl over there talkin’ to him, Mr. Lewis was asking. Mr Lewis owned a hardware store in the Negro business district of Atlanta called the Sweet Auburn district.

Humph, ya’ll know that girl let her high yalla skin go to her head. I’m tellin ya’ll ain’t no good gonna come to her… This was from ol’ Miz Hopkins.

That ol’ biddy’s always talkin’ ’bout somebody, Marilyn thought, wondering where Neomi’s folks were. Loyalty made her forget her own similar thoughts of only moments before. If Mr. and Miz Hattisburg were here that ol’ hag wouldn’t have so much to say!

Lookit her over there wit’ ’im. Any chile wit’ any sense know that a white boy ain’t after but one thang - an’ we all know what that is!

Well mebbe he’ll git it today. Ya’ll know them white gals is loose; could be a colored one who looks white is, too!

Marilyn cringed as she heard the laughter all around her. She glanced over at Moses and could tell by the tightening of his jaws that he’d heard, too.

What’s all the laughin’ ’bout? Let me in on the joke, Ben Hattisburg said with a half smile on his face as he joined the crowd.

Aw, it ain’t ’bout nothin, Ben. This came from Mr. Terry, the very one who’d made the crack that started the laughter. Marilyn longed to tell Mr. Hattisburg just what the joke had been. But then she saw Mr. Hattisburg’s hazel eyes turn to ice as he caught sight of Neomi walking off with Christopher toward the swimming hole, and she knew he knew.

Ya’ll excuse me.

Benjamin Hattisburg started off after his daughter. There was no way he was gonna let her off alone with that white boy. He had personal knowledge about what white men wanted from colored girls. His own mother had been flattered by the attentions of a white boy until the day he’d raped her. And because of the good ol’ boy network, reporting the act would have done nothing except cause his mother embarrassment. Ben was the product of that unholy union, and though his mother had made him feel very loved and secure as a child, there was no way he was gonna let that happen to his daughter.

Neomi!

Neomi stopped at the call from her father, and turned around to see what he wanted. Upon glancing at his face she knew.

Sir?

The slightly submissive posture she recognized as his ‘keep the white folks happy and tippin’ pose for work was contradicted by deadpan eyes, which made Neomi a little nervous.

It’s time for you to come join the others, child. He hated himself for the way he was ducking his head in front of that snot nosed white boy, but after all, Christopher’s father was the president of the bank in Atlanta that held the mortgage on their home.

But Ben, Christopher spoke with the unearned familiarity of privilege, "we were just going to take a little walk. You don’t mind if Neomi goes with me, do you?"

How dare that boy call me by my first name, and the short of it at that!

Well now, Mr. Christopher, this is the celebration of Neomi’s graduation from high school and her mama and all her friends want her to celebrate with them.

I hardly think it keeps her from celebrating to go for a walk with me. Christopher, who wasn’t aware of the turmoil boiling inside of Neomi’s father right then, spoke with the incredulity of one who wasn’t used to being told no.

Yeah, I’ll just bet you do wanna take a walk with my daughter, Mr. High and Almighty Robinson. Not by even a flicker of his eye did Ben let on his disdain for this impertinent boy, even as he assumed the subservient role self preservation demanded.

Naw, suh, but it’s jest that we had a surprise planned, and this is the time for it.

Chris’ irritation showed on his face, but he forced himself to relax as he turned to Neomi.

Well, I guess you better go back to your celebration. Think I can see you later?

Neomi opened her lips to say yes, but before she could get the word out she heard her father saying, We gonna be leaving soon, but you sho’ welcome to come to the house to see her later.

I’m afraid that won’t work, Ben. Neomi?

Neomi was so mad at her father she could have just spit! Daddy’s acting like Chris is a stranger, not somebody Mama has taken care of since he was a baby, she thought angrily. She knew better than to go against her father, however. I’m sorry, Chris. Maybe I’ll see you some other time.

Count on it. The way Chris’ eyes were glued to her mouth sent a tremor through her body. When they lifted to meet her eyes they seemed to hold the promise of something wonderful.

Well, b-b-bye. Neomi cringed inwardly as she heard herself stammer.

Goodbye, Neomi.

It was all she could do not to turn around and look at him again as she walked away with her father. Well, Daddy, what’s the surprise?

Shucks, girl, ain’t no real surprise. I jest wanted to git you away from that boy. What’s wrong with you, anyway? What you doin’ talkin’ to that white boy out here in front of everybody? You oughta know he don’t want nothin’ from you but what you don’t wanna give up, and all you doin’ is makin’ folks talk.

Neomi stopped dead in her tracks. When her Daddy turned to look at her she asked frigidly, How do you know what he wants from me? You don’t know nothin’ ’bout him, Daddy, ’cept that his daddy is the President of the bank and that Mama’s been workin’ for his family for umpteen years. Chris is a nice boy who likes me for myself. Not because I’m high yellow" or because I’m the girl nobody’s been able to get so far, like the colored boys I know. You weren’t worried about me bein’ around him when I was helpin’ Mama clean his folks’ house all those summers. But you know what, Daddy? When I was goin’ there all those times, I got to know him and I know he’s my friend. Chris likes me for me, Daddy, Neomi Hattisburg. I’m not a color, I’m a person. He sees that and he likes me just for me! When are you going to stop letting what happened to your mother cloud your opinion of things. When are you going to let me stop being your little girl and trust that I’m a woman now?"

Neomi’s anger blinded her to the incredulous look on her father’s face, and she continued, throwing caution to the winds. "Do you know how white folks treat me when I’m alone? They treat me like one of their own, like I’m somebody! I’ll never be treated like I’m somebody as long as I’m with one of the colored boys you want to pick out for me."

Neomi knew she was going over the line now but she was unable to stop herself.

What do you want from me? Do you want me to have to shuffle and duck my head when I’m around white folks? Do you want me to have to clean their toilets and watch their babies? Well I’m not going to do it! I refuse to be like you and Mama!

Her last word coincided with the slap Ben dealt her. He was immediately ashamed of slapping his baby – he believed in whupin’ on the butt, but he didn’t believe in slappin’ folks - but she’d deserved it.

How dare you talk like that to me? How dare you talk about yo’ mother like that? Where is yo’ respect? Is this what hanging around with that white boy is done for you? Ben’s voice was low; his tone was measured as he forced himself to speak calmly.

"I may duck and shuffle and your mother may clean white folks’ toilets but that’s how we’s survived. We may not always like what we got to do, but we ain’t shamed o’ the fact that we honest, God fearin’ folks workin’ to try to make a life fo’ our family. That’s how yo’ brother an’ you’s had clothes on yo’ backs, food in yo’ bellies, and a house we own to live in. How dare you talk ’bout it like it was a disgrace?"

Taking in his daughter’s European features, which so closely resembled his own, Ben continued, the struggle to control his pain and anger causing his tone to be barely above a whisper. Mebbe it’s like folks been sayin’. Mebbe you done let them white looks take over and give you a white mind. Mebbe you thinks you better than the rest of yo’ family. Well, if so, I feels fo’ you, girl. You in fo’ a lot o’ heartache in yo’ life.

Through the tears in her eyes; conscious of the sting on her cheek, Neomi watched her father stalk away from her, heading back to the table where she could see the others having a good time. Whirling around, she turned her back on the others, trying to get herself under control.

I’m sorry if what I said hurt you, Daddy, she thought, but I just ain’t gonna live like this for the rest of my life. I’m gettin’ out of here just as soon as I can, anyway I can, and the Chris Robinsons of the world’ll be a lot more helpful to me than the Joshua Griffins or the Moses Jacksons or any other colored body! What would you know about how I feel? You and mama have just accepted your lot in life as the doormats of the world. Well, not Neomi Jean Hattisburg! I’m gonna be somebody someday, you’ll see!

With this silent vow, Neomi threw back her head and shoulders, wiped the tears away, gave herself a minute, then followed her father over to join the others. She could hear the bursts of laughter and the unmistakable crack of dominoes being slammed down on the table. As she joined the group, she could tell who’d witnessed her chastisement by the way they darted their eyes away. Lifting her chin just a little higher, she acted as though didn’t feel the embarrassment that consumed her. She could see that there was a card game going on at the other end of the picnic table. Looking around, she spotted her mother, who obviously hadn’t seen, setting food out on the next table with Mrs. Harris and some of the other mothers. She went over and casually draped her arm around Mama’s shoulders, giving a little squeeze as she asked, Whatcha want me to do, Mama?

Leola Hattisburg looked up at her pretty daughter and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. Why, nothin’ baby, ’cept go have yo’self a good time with the others. This here party is for y’all graduates to have fun and be appreciated - no work for you today!

The smile she gave Neomi was full of love and pride, and Neomi felt a twinge of shame for the words she’d spoken to her father earlier.

However, as she returned the quick kiss to Mama’s cheek and turned away to join the others she mentally tossed off the feeling and re-affirmed her vow to herself: I am gonna be somebody someday!

From the shade of a large weeping willow tree where the group of young people were gathered, Moses watched Neomi approach. He admired the way her slim, coke-bottle body moved gracefully across the grass. He didn’t think he was colorstruck just because he admired the way she looked. Anyone who didn’t know Neomi and her folks could easily believe that she was a white girl. Though she looked just like her daddy, he was slightly more tan with a wider nose and lips, and she was almost white. Funny how it could work out that way, Moses mused.

…wadn’t it, Mose? Hey Mose! Moses, man, you fog-bound or what? The sound of Joe’s voice interrupted Moses’ thoughts.

What? Uh, what did you say?

"Uh huh, I know what you thinkin’ ’bout, or should I say who

you thinkin’ ’bout. Joe’s mouth was curved into a sly grin. Better yet, man, maybe I should say what you thinkin’ ’bout and who you thinkin’ ’bout doin’ it with! Heh heh heh!"

Moses gave Joe a nudge with his elbow, chuckling in good nature to the accompaniment of the hoots of laughter from the other guys in the group. Even the girls were smiling and demurely passing each other looks. He was used to Joe’s teasing - heck, all the guys teased him about having a case on Neomi. What the hell, he’d be the first to admit he did. If only she felt the same way.

What y’all laughing about? Neomi was eager to join in the fun as she approached the group. She was relieved that they apparently hadn’t seen Daddy slap the crap out of her.

Honey, you don’t even want to know. It’s just Joe, being his usual dirty minded self, Marilyn answered.

"Well I was tellin everybody about the size of the humongus fish I caught when Mose ‘n’ me went over to the fishin hole the other day, and they just won’t believe it. I swear, it was this big, wadn’t it, Mose?" Joe held his hands up at a span of about a foot and a half. Moses just looked at him with a half smile, saying nothing.

"Hey, Joe, that fish is growin’ each time you tell this tale - and I do mean this tall tale", Joshua laughed.

"Maybe you mean long tale, and getting’ longer by the minute!" Zach Thomas added with a big grin.

"Well the fish was big, but I can’t seem to remember it bein quite that big, Joe. I think you’re confusing it with the one I caught," Moses finally answered, his beautiful white teeth gleaming through a full grin, now.

Aw, man, please! You know you never catch bigger fish than me! Quit tryin to make yourself look good in front of these girls, man, and fess up to the truth, now, Joe shot back, enjoying the bantering.

The joking around continued until they were all called over to eat. There was quite a spread laid out on the table. The smell of the fried chicken and various desserts made Neomi’s mouth water.

Mama, is this your potato salad? she heard Danny ask.

Yes, baby. Go ahead and get you some. There’s plenty.

Needing no further encouragement, Danny dug in. It was no secret that Mama made the best potato salad in town. He knew, because he had tasted everyone else’s at some time during all the get togethers throughout the school years. When you attended a three room schoolhouse from first grade through twelfth, you not only got to know all the kids and their folks, but you got to know the food. Matter of fact, he shuddered to think of some of the food!

Well, Danny, how you been, sugar? Here, have some of my stewed okra, Mrs. Akers said with a smile.

Speak of the devil! Danny hated most of the food this lady cooked, and the stewed okra was the worst of all!

I’m doing very well, thank you, Ma’am. Please just give me just a small amount, Danny cajoled innocently. I still have to squeeze everything else onto this little plate, you know, he added, sweetly returning her smile.

Man! I hope I can find somewhere to dump this stuff when she’s not lookin’. He noticed as he moved on down the table that the other kids were avoiding Miz Akers, too. Nobody liked her stewed okra - not even her own kids!

Say, man, I see she managed to catch you, too, huh? Danny looked over to see Moses nodding to the stewed okra on his own plate. I swear, man, Miz Akers is a nice lady but her food could be sold to the gov’ment to be used as the next secret weapon!

Mose, you wrong, man. You really wrong, Danny gasped through his laughter. But to tell the truth, I was thinkin’ ’bout the same thang. C’mon, lets see if we can find a good place to sit where we can ditch this mess.

From the table where she was filling her plate, Neomi watched as her brother walked with Moses to sit at the foot of the old oak tree. She wasn’t ’bout to admit it to anyone, not even Marilyn, but she did agree that Moses was one fine boy. Even at 17, he already stood half a head taller than Danny, who was six feet tall at 18. Danny’s not missing anything in the looks department, but he don’t have a thang on Moses. Moses’ wide shoulders tapered down to a slim waist and a cute little butt. Even though his back was to her, she could see in her mind his handsome brown face with its big milk chocolate brown eyes, and thick lashes that only a girl should have. And why had she never noticed those heart stopping dimples before?

Yes, he had the wide nose she’d thought of with disdain only minutes ago when looking at Chris, but on Moses it seemed almost regal. Too bad Moses is likely to stay right in this same town for the rest of his life, she thought, her face settling unconsciously into a scowl. I know he likes me and I just might let myself like him back if I thought he was likely to be somebody one day. I just can’t afford to let myself get bogged down and stuck here!

What’s got you lookin’ like the wrath of God, Neomi? Marilyn came up next to Neomi and looked down at her plate. Oh, I see you got some of Miz Akers’ stewed okra - don’t bother to explain, honey. If I hadna seen her ’fore she seen me, I’d be stuck with that mess, too!

Neomi came out of her thoughts with a giggle and walked with Marilyn to the old oak tree. Danny and Moses were already there.

Marilyn observed that Bobby Lou Johnson, as usual, was right up under Moses, and glanced at Neomi to see if she noticed, too. Neomi didn’t even seem to be aware of the younger girl’s obvious plays for Moses’ attention, just like she never seemed to notice the little snubs Bobby Lou had been delivering to her over this school year. That girl thought she was some kinda princess just because her daddy was some kind of big agent for Atlanta Life Insurance Company, and she had her sights on Moses. Oh well, if it don’t bother Neomi, I sure ain’t gonna let it bother me, she decided.

Soon they were joined by Joe, Billy, Josh, Wilma, Calvin, Zach, Ruth Ann, and some of the other graduates.

Well danged if we don’t have almost the whole senior class of 1940 settin’ right here together, observed Mr. Akers as he was passing by. He stopped in front of the group and said, I’m gonna take a pitcher o’ y’all while you all together. Danny, go get Ennis since he’s the only one missing, and you ain’t part of this class. Bobby Lou, you didn’t graduate yet, didja? At the shake of Bobby Lou’s head, he said, Well then, get outa the picture.

Bobby Lou reluctantly gave up the spot she’d squeezed into near Moses, blinking her eyes in his direction as she got up. He was too busy manuevering closer to Neomi to notice.

The rest of y’all sit down close together ’round the base of the tree, and, Mr. Akers dropped his voice conspiratorially, be sure y’all don’t mess up yo’ clothes by settin’ in all the stewed okra y’all have dumped around there. Then he winked! The group exploded in laughter.

When Ennis arrived he took his place with the group and Mr. Akers took the picture. I’ll be sure to have extra copies made for all yo’ folks.

After the meal, Mr. Johnson suggested that they all go to the Johnson house to continue the party. That way, you young folks can do some dancing to the radio. Everybody agreed to that idea.

Hours later, the party was still going strong. Mrs. Harris said that they would have to get on home to put the young ones to bed, which of course brought forth a chorus of protests from those same young ones.

Ma, can I please stay? Please? Cynthia was tired of being stuck with the babies all day. After all, here she was 12 years old and she never got to have any fun. Ma always said she was too young to hang around Neomi and Marilyn anymore.

Well, now honey, this here party is mainly for the graduates and you ain’t one of ’em. Some other time, maybe, came the dreaded answer. Cynthia began to help gather up her little brothers and sisters with a sigh of resignation.

Marilyn?

Sir? Marilyn turned to see what her father wanted.

You coming with us or are you gonna get a ride home later? he asked.

I was gonna spend the night over at Neomi’s, Papa, remember? I’ll ride home with her.

"Oh, that’s right, baby. Have fun and don’t stay up too late." Mr Harris leaned over to kiss his oldest daughter’s cheek.

Seeing the kiss reminded Neomi of the strain between her and Daddy since their argument earlier that afternoon. In fact, she was pretty certain that Daddy had avoided her for the rest of the day. She knew she needed to apologize and ask him to forgive her for the nasty things she’d said. Oh, she still meant what she said about not getting stuck in a life of servitude, but she’d said some ugly things that she was ashamed of, and there was no need to mess up her relationship with her folks over what they didn’t- couldn’t - understand.

Mr. Harris reached over to give Neomi a little peck, too. After the span of over fifteen years to date that his daughter and Neomi had been best friends, she was like a part of the family. That goes for you too, Neomi. You girls behave yo’selves and don’t let me hear y’all gave yo’ folks the blues tonight. Bye, now.

As soon as they’d waved Marilyn’s sizeable family through the door the girls turned to go back into the living room where the party was in full swing. The sounds of Benny Goodman’s big band blasted from the radio into the room. No sooner than they got through the door were their hands grabbed and they whirled onto the floor.

Sometime later, Neomi was dancing slowly with Moses to a top 15 tune called I’ll Never Smile Again. His arms, with their hard muscles felt good around her; there was something sensuous about the way his fingers curled and moved around her hand in his.

This could get to be addicting, Neomi thought. She couldn’t help wondering what it would feel like to dance with Chris. She closed her eyes, imagining that it was Chris she was dancing with, and that he was looking at her like he did earlier that afternoon. Moses hummed the tune in a soft, pleasant baritone that brought her back to reality and she guiltily tightened her grip on his shoulder.

I wish this song would go on and on, thought Moses, unaware of the competition going on in Neomi’s mind.

You know, Neomi, the other kids ain’t wrong when they say I got a case on you. You’re the finest girl I ever saw and you’re smart, too.

Neomi pulled back a bit and looked up into Moses’ fine face. He was looking down at her with a half smile, his eyes seeming to caress her face. She didn’t know what to say in reply. Part of her wanted to let him just go on talking - it was mighty tempting to bask in the pretty words he spoke while they danced. But she felt like she had to say something.

Uh, Moses, uh.…

No, you don’t have to say nothing. I know you don’t see me the same way I see you. But I want you to know that I really like you. I’m plannin’ on workin’ for a while over at the textile mill and takin’ some college classes at night. Then, after a couple of years I’m hopin’ I’ll have enough saved to be able to go to college full time. I want to be a lawyer so I can help change the laws and help colored folks get a better break in this country.

Just then, a tap on Moses’s shoulder saved the surprised Neomi from a reply. As Moses moved aside, she was further surprised to see Daddy waiting to dance.

Hi, Daddy.

Hello, baby girl.

At the sound of his pet name for her, Neomi felt suffused with love for him. Hot tears suddenly blurred her vision as the need to put their earlier argument behind them overwhelmed her.

Daddy, I’m so sorry for the awful things I said to you today, she said in a rush. You know how much I love you and Mama, don’t you? I would never want to hurt you or put you down for what you’ve had to do - just like I hope you would never put me down for whatever I may have to do to make it in life.

Aw, baby, I know you sorry for those things you said. I’ll admit, they bothered me, but I been thinkin’ ’bout it a lot today, and I know that’s jest yo’ youth talkin’.

Neomi had to bite back the words on the tip of her tongue. All she regretted about her earlier outburst were the words that put down her parents. But she still refused to be stuck being a servant in this place for the rest of her life. She closed her eyes, making a silent vow. One day I will be somebody, and when I make their lives better for them, Mama and Daddy will understand.

As the song ended, her father looked into her eyes, so much like his own, and patted her cheek. You and Marilyn ’bout ready to go?

Thinking of Moses and his tempting words, Neomi glanced around for him, a little disappointed that she didn’t see him. Yes, I guess so, and I’ll bet Marilyn is, too.

I’ll get yo’ Mama - you get Marilyn and Danny, and we’ll be outta here, then. Neomi watched Daddy walk away with mixed feelings about the way their earlier argument had been resolved. Oh well, at least we’re not mad at each other anymore, she thought.

Chapter 2

M arilyn, you sle ep?

Ummm…

Marilyn…

What?

It had been hours since the girls had gone to bed. They’d talked for a long time about how excited they were to graduate, and about the events of the day. Somehow, however, Neomi couldn’t get Moses out of her mind. She kept seeing his dimples; feeling his arms around her as they danced. She just didn’t know what was wrong with her. She had plans for her life, and those plans definitely didn’t include getting involved with any local colored boy. She kept remembering the plans he expressed though; his desire to become a lawyer. He’d really surprised her with that one! Was that what changed the way she was thinking about him? She so needed to understand what she was feeling, but on the other hand, she wasn’t sure she could really explain it to anyone - including Marilyn, who was her dearest friend.

Nevermind. G’night.

Oh, no you don’t. Now that you done woke me, tell me what’s on your mind.

I just been layin’ here thinkin’.

Yeah, so what? What you thinkin’ ’bout?

Moses.

Marilyn sat straight up in bed and turned to look down at Neomi with a big grin on her face. "Oh yeah? Moses, huh? She flopped back down, chuckling. I knew it, I just knew you couldn’t be as cold to him as you put on!"

Well what d’you mean by that?

Honey, Moses been doing everything to catch your attention, ’cept jump flips, for awhile now. But you always actin’ like it ain’t no thang.

Well it ain’t.

Well, if it ain’t, why you layin’ awake at night thinkin’ ’bout him?

Well, if you wasn’t so almighty ready to jump to conclusions, maybe I could tell you!

OK, so tell me.

No, I ain’t gonna talk about it to nobody who’s already decided what I’m thinkin’ and feelin’.

Oh, c’mon, Neomi. I was just kiddin’. C’mon, tell me what you been thinkin’ bout.

You promise you won’t laugh, or say any stupid stuff?

Well I promise I won’t laugh, but how do I know if you’ll think something I say is stupid or not until I say it and you tell me?

In the darkness, Neomi’s mouth curved in a smile at her friend’s logic. OK. You know we danced together tonight.

Yeah, so what? Y’all danced a few times. It ain’t the first time y’all danced together. I’ve danced with him a few times myself in the last few years.

"But I mean we slow danced. And I swear I never noticed how swoony he is until tonight. I mean, he’s so tall, and he has a body that’s put together real nice. And his smile – with those dimples - I mean have you ever seen a prettier smile on a boy in your life? And those eyelashes! I mean…"

You just now noticin’? I been tellin’ you for the longest that he is one luscious pappy, and you been denyin’ it!

I ain’t exactly denied it, I just…

Yeah, yeah, I know. You just got bigger and better plans for your life.

Yeah, an’ I still do. I’m just wonderin’… you know it prob’bly wouldn’t hurt nothin’ if I went out with him a few times. I mean, that don’t mean I’m changin’ my plans or nothin’, does it?

You mean you finally gettin’ the eagers for him, too? So Miss Neomi Hattisburg is gettin’ her nose opened way up, finally!

I ain’t sayin’ that! I’m askin’ you ’bout goin’ out with him, not about marryin’ him, Marilyn. Well what d’you think

I think that goin’ out is one step away from marryin’ when the feelin’ is there. An’ Lord knows he been havin feelin’s for you for the longest. An’ now that you gettin feelin’s for him, too, well… alls I can say is I’m just glad you forgettin ’bout that Christopher Robinson!

Oh, just forget it! I’m sorry I ever brought it up! I shoulda known you would say somethin stupid - good night!

Neomi flopped over and turned her back to Marilyn angrily. After a few minutes, she heard Marilyn venture, "At the risk of sayin’ somethin’ else that’s stupid, I gotta tell you, Neomi. Even though you know I like Calvin Akers - in spite of his Mama’s stewed okra -I’d jump like a flash if that fine Moses Jackson so much as waved a little finger at me. ’Course, he ain’t interested in me. But how you gon’ feel if he gets tired of bein’ put off by you and gets interested in somebody else - like that Bobbie Lou Johnson slick chick, who’s always twitchin’ ’round in his face? Don’t think ’cause she’s a year younger she can’t catch him."

Neomi didn’t answer. But long after she heard the even breathing that told her Marilyn was asleep, she was still thinking about her friends words. Now that she thought about it, Bobbie Lou was up in Moses’ face a lot. What if he did decide to take what Bobbie was offering?

Neomi decided she wouldn’t like it. She wouldn’t like it at all.

A week later, Neomi was in the kitchen peeling potatoes for dinner when the phone rang. I’ll get it, she called out as she wiped her hands on her apron. Hello?

Hello, Neomi?

Yes. Her mouth went a little dry as she heard his voice.

This is Moses. How you been?

I’m fine, and you?

I can’t complain. Whatcha been doing?

Not much. I’m supposed to go with Mama next week to help out at the Robinson house, but I pretty much haven’t been doin’ nothin’ so far except cleanin’ house and makin’ sure dinner’s ready when Danny and the folks get home. What about you?

Well, I been pretty busy working as many hours as I can down to the textile mill. I started there the day after graduation. You remember I told you I was gonna be workin’ there, don’t you?

Yeah, I remember you said somethin’ ’bout it at the party last week. I didn’t know you was gonna start workin’ so soon, though.

Well, if I’m gonna make the money I need to go to college, I gotta work as much as I can. I have tomorrow off, though, and I was kinda wonderin’…, well…, uh…, there’s gonna be a jazz concert down at the park, and, uh, well…

Really? Who’s gonna be playin’? Neomi gripped the phone a little tighter in a palm which was getting sweatier by the moment.

Well, they say it’s gonna be the Count Basie band. It should be hep, don’t you think? Anyway, I was sorta wonderin’, if you didn’t have anything to do, well, uh, maybe you’d like to go?

Moses wasn’t conscious of the fact that he was holding his breath while he waited for her answer. He knew everybody said that Neomi never went out with anyone. They said it was ’cause she just thought she was too good for colored folks and that she only had eyes for white boys, but he didn’t think that was the reason. He wasn’t sure what the reason was, but he just plain didn’t think that was it. Please, God, don’t let that be it. Please let her say yes.

Well, Neomi, this is it, she thought. Now’s your chance to decide whether or not you’re gonna get to know him a little better. You still got your plans, but just goin’ out doesn’t mean you have to change them, does it? No.

Moses felt his heart and his pride sinking, then he heard her continue, I mean no, I don’t have anything else planned. Yes, I’d like to go. If my folks say it’s ok, what time should I be ready?

It took a moment to sink in. She said yes! She wants to go out with me! Uh, the concert starts at 8:00 tomorrow evening. I could come by to get you at 7:00 and that will give us enough time to get a good place to sit. Is that OK with you?

Yes, that’s fine. What should I wear?

Well, since we’re gonna be sittin’ out in the park, prob’bly somethin’ casual, OK? I’ma bring a blanket to sit on but I’ma be dressed pretty casual, too. And it should be warm, but you should bring a sweater. Sometimes it gets kinda breezy.

OK. Well, Neomi, you’ve done it now, she thought to herself. Please, God, let this be the right thing to do.

OK. Well, should I call you later to see if your folks say it’s ok?

Ok. They’ll be home and we’ll be finished with dinner by about 7 or so.

I’ll call you around 8 so you can let me know, ok?

Ok.

Well, talk to you later, then.

Ok, Moses. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Neomi stood by the phone for a good five minutes after she’d hung up. Her heart was beating a little faster and she felt a little flushed. What is wrong with me? It’s only Moses. With that thought, she shook herself and went back in the kitchen to finish fixing dinner. But when Daddy said it was ok to go, she was surprised at how relieved she felt.

Neomi checked the clock again for what must have been the four hundredth time in the last hour. Only 6:45! She couldn’t remember 7:00 ever taking so long to arrive on any other Saturday. She left the clock and went to the hall mirror again. Why was it that her hair just wouldn’t hold a curl for more than a minute? Oh, well, nothing I can do about this fly-away-stuff now, she thought, unconsciously using Marilyn’s description.

Will you stop wearin’ a hole in the carpet between that clock and that mirror? He’ll be here, don’t worry! I mean, I sho don’t know what he sees in a skinny little thing like you, but there aint no accountin’ for taste, Danny teased her.

I’m sure I don’t know what you talkin’ bout, boy. I ain’t concerned about nothin’ - you must be imagining things, Neomi replied coolly, then in the next breath, You sure I look ok? I mean, you don’t think this is too casual, do you?

Danny let his eyes move slowly from her head down to her feet in an exaggerated manner. She really was a beauty, his little sister. He knew she really wasn’t aware just how pretty she was with her hair falling in soft waves past her shoulders. Her rose colored shirtwaist dress complimented her complexion. Though he might tease her about being skinny, he could see that she filled the dress out in all the right places. Yeah, she looked just fine.

Naw, I think you’re dressed ok. Now if you could just do something with that mug you call a face!

Oh, Danny! I don’t know why I even bothered to ask you. But she went to the mirror again, scrutinizing her face. Do you think I should wear some makeup? A lot of the girls wear makeup now.

For cryin’ out loud, Neomi. I was just kiddin’. You look fine. Then as the doorbell rang, he added, and if you didn’t, it’s too late now. You gonna get the door?

Neomi was already rushing into the living room. She said to him, over her shoulder, No, you get it. I don’t want him to think I’ve been standing around waiting on him.

"Well you have, not that I would ever mention it." From her seat on the couch, Neomi could hear him opening the door.

Say, Moses, what’s up? It’s about time you got here. Neomi was about to drive us crazy pacin’ ’round here and lookin’ at the clock.

In the living room, Neomi’s eyes flashed up in alarm to meet her mother’s sympathetic look from the corner where Mama was working at her sewing machine. She could feel herself blushing in embarrassment.

Mama, did you hear him? she hissed across the room. Seeing her mother’s nod, she thought to herself, Brothers! Seems like their only purpose on earth is to be a pain to their sisters.

Just then, the object of her venomous thoughts entered the living room with Moses by his side.

Good evening, Mrs. Hattisburg. Is Mr. Hattisburg here? Moses asked, taking in Neomi’s appearance. Man, is she ever pretty, he thought. Hello, Neomi, he greeted her with a smile that brought out his amazing dimples.

Mr. Hattisburg had to work late this evening, Leola responded to Moses’ question. He’ll be home in another hour or so. Can we offer you a seat and something to drink?

No, thank you, Ma’am. We’ll need to be getting on, if we want to get a decent spot. Turning to Neomi, Moses asked, Ready to go?

Ready? Man, she’s been ready since 5:00,