30 & Counting: What It Takes to Make It Work!: A Biblical Perspective

By William F. Smith

This book: 30 & Counting, What it Takes to Make it Work, is designed to help individuals answer this question from a Biblical perspective. When two people are joined in holy matrimony, the unions purpose is to honor God. Using the Word of God as an influence can and will empower couples to fulfill their assignment. Proverbs 3:5-6, Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Learning and applying biblical principles of marriage fortifies marital relationships and proves for a successful union.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing
• Release date: Jan 24, 2017
• ISBN: 9781490779416

William F. Smith

William F. Smith is the Senior Pastor of the Truth Memorial Baptist Church located at 56th and Lansdowne Avenue in Philadelphia, PA. He was installed as Pastor in October of 1996. Pastor Smith is the husband of one wife, Denise and the father of five (5) sons: Will Jr., Christopher, Dail-Michael, Joseph and Benjamin. On June 4, 1985, Pastor Smith graduated from New Life Bible Institute Missionary Training School. He later became an instructor of Soteriology (the study of Salvation) and Christology (the study of Christ) at the Beulah Baptist Church’s campus. Pastor Smith received a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Ministry from Faith Bible College and Seminary in Washington D.C. on May 22, 1999. In 1988, Pastor Smith was licensed to preach the gospel and was ordained on July 14, 1991 by the late Pastor Timothy E. Ruffin of the Beulah Baptist Church in Philadelphia, PA. Pastor Smith has inspired many transformations in both God’s people and God’s place of worship. God’s vision to him is to educate, train and equip God’s people to “move to the next level”. Pastor Smith believes in the Word of God and the changing power of that Word. Many marriages have been reconciled through teaching and counseling of the Word of God. Pastor Smith with Denise focuses on pre-marital biblical counseling for couples that are considering holy matrimony.

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Copyright 2017 William F. Smith.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

ISBN: 978-1-4907-7940-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4907-7939-3 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4907-7941-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016920777

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NIV

Scripture taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

NLT

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

KJV

Scripture taken from The Holy Bible, King James Version. Cambridge Edition: 1769; King James Bible Online, 2016. www.kingjamesbibleonline.org.

MSG

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Trafford rev. 01/24/2017

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Contents

Dedication

Introduction

Mate

Acceptance

Respect

Responsibility

Intimacy

Accountability

Grace

Everlasting

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my wife Denise, my lover and my friend. Revealed on its pages is our life together; applying Biblical truths that make a marriage last. I thank God for the countless hours Denise spent proofreading each page and transforming my words to express my thoughts exactly. God sent me a divine editor; my missing rib, Denise. My life is blessed because of this precious gift from God. We have passed 30 years already and we are counting on 30 more.

I also dedicate this book to my five sons; William Jr, Christopher, Dail-Michael, Joseph and Benjamin. The Smith boys minister the Word of God through music in the form of Hip-Hop. Their group, Da Union declares the gospel to young and old in Philadelphia and nearby counties and states. Their lifestyles demonstrate a determined and relentless faith in Christ; the group’s objective is that every person hearing their music would view Christ as the main Source of a satisfied life. They also teach and preach the Word of God to young adults. They have made Denise and I proud to call them ours.

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William Jr, Dail-Michael, Denise, Christopher, William Sr, Benjamin, Joseph (2016)

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Christopher, Joseph, Benjamin, Dail-Michael, William Jr (1994)

Introduction

On November 20, 1982, on a beautiful Saturday afternoon in West Philadelphia, PA, two people was coming together to become one flesh [Matthew 19:5b]. The sanctuary was filled with people, waiting for the wedding to begin. Families, friends, close associates, co-workers, neighbors, friends of friends, children and church members. They all gathered together to witness this grand event of two people making a commitment to spend their lives together forever. Two people from two different backgrounds, upbringings and experiences making a decision of holy matrimony that would change their lives forever. It was 30 years ago that Denise and I decided to make a long-term, life commitment to one another, before God and a host of witnesses. Having zeal to pleases God and one another.

This book: 30 & Counting: What it takes to make it Work! Will identifies how marriages can survive the storms of life; if couples are determine to work on remaining together regardless of the circumstances. They must believe the power of the Word of God that could sustain and withstand whatever comes to divide and conquer. There are steps that would solidify the couples’ commitment and make the marriage worth working for, and I must warn you, marriage is hard work!

The procession begins with the in-laws and then the bridal party, with the expectation of the grand entry of the bride. As the people waited for that anticipated moment, the officiating minister says, all rise, suddenly the doors open. Standing there is the bride covered with white satin and pearls, which were individually sown on by hand, by the mother of the groom. As she walked down the aisle, to the anxiously awaited groom, standing next to his older brother as his best man, the crowd was stun at the beauty of the bride. The train traveled, four feet behind the bride, so delicately and smoothly across the carpeted covered floor. Yes, I must admit, she was gorgeous! Touching my hand, with tears in her eyes, we held each other with intense excitement and over-whelming nervousness but, ready to express publicly our lifetime commitment to one another.

Denise was 28 and I was 24, and we both loved the Lord for His saving grace and powerful redemption at Calvary cross. Yes! You can say Denise robbed the cradle by marrying a younger man but, I believed I was strong in the Lord. My focus was to serve the Lord and be satisfied with him alone. However, the Lord’s ways is not always our way. His will is going to be fulfilled whether we like it or not. And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him [Genesis 2:18]. The Lord knew, based on the ministry He was calling me to do, I needed a help meet. Someone that would challenge me in the physical, like the Lord would do in the spiritual. Sometimes, husbands need a push in the direction, which God is calling for and that can be challenging. Marriage was not my top priority but, God had a different plan for my life.

30 years later, I must admit Denise was my push, the challenging package of a woman that could create a change by the tone of her voice. She was only 4'11 with long black hair and weighed 120lbs, wearing a size 8. Denise was very small in stature but, powerful in demonstrating her opinions and ideas. Denise knew the Lord from child hood, rededicated her life to the Lord and was satisfied being single, when we met. My impression of Denise was, she was small (made me feel big), independent (did not depend on me) and strong-willed (knew what she wanted). My response was like Adam, bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh [Genesis 2:23]. I had no desire to be married, yet the Lord seen fit for me to be connected to someone that will push" me in spite of my thoughts, opinions and ideas. Push me to do the things the Lord would want me to do. The Lord knew who would be better qualified to fulfill that great responsibility.

The atmosphere was set. The charge to the bride was given, Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. [Ephesians 5:22-24]. There is that word submit. No woman wants to hear that word. The woman gets that eerie feeling of being restricted of her freedom. Nevertheless, to have a successful marriage, the wife must obey the Word of God and submit, which is a good biblical term. In addition to, the Bible tells the man and woman, submitting to one another in the fear of God [Ephesians 5:21]. It is about doing it in the fear (reverence, honor) of God.

Now, the charge to the groom, Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. [Ephesians 5:25-28]. In other words, men cannot love without some kind of condition but, the Word of God