Erotica: Secrets and Confessions from the Girl Next Door

By Angela James

"Within every person lives an inner desire; a free spirit sexually uninhibited with fantasies we've lived, fantasies we've craved, fantasies we've invented. These fantasies fuel our bodies with a desire for touch, a longing to be electrically stimulated---love to radiate inside and out. Some of these fantasies become reality; some are hidden from the world, shielded from judgment, under tight lock and key.
I want to share my experiences---some fantasy, some reality---with all of you. No limitations. No restrictions.
Simple. Sexy. Sensual.
This is Erotica."

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 18, 2013
• ISBN: 9781479776221

Angela James

Angela James was born and raised in Chicago, Illinois. In 2002, she joined the United States Navy. She completed recruit training at Recruit Training Command in Great Lakes, IL followed by secondary training in Pensacola, FL. She was then stationed in Jacksonville, FL onboard the USS John F. Kennedy CV 70 which is now decommissioned. After serving as an individual augmentee (IA) that deployed her to East Africa, Angela returned to the U.S. where she completed “Love’s Triangle”. Currently she’s serving on active duty preparing for transfer to San Diego, CA and working on her second novel

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Copyright © 2013 by Angela James.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2013900404

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-4797-7621-4

                Softcover         978-1-4797-7620-7

                Ebook              978-1-4797-7622-1

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

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Contents

Shane and Jasarae

(With Lee)

Desmond & Theresa

Shawn and Debra

Xavier and Kristen

Dean and Laila

Connor and Zoe

(and… . Jasirah)

The Big Day!

Zebediah and Simone

Vance & Mali

Three Weeks Later…

Personally I’d like to thank the love of my life, the apple in my eye, and the beautiful spirit God’s chosen to give me. He knows who he is. Love you, 802!

Erotica

Erotica is the sensual, sexual ambiguity that individuals keep hidden behind closed doors or locked inside the confines of their minds. Unlock it. Embrace it. Write it down. Share it.

Acknowledgments

Well, this here is my third novel—will be the second published one—and I’m ecstatic. I’ve put some hard work, dedication, perseverance, blood, sweat, and tears in this. More than I did Love’s Triangle, not more than Bitch, but equally so. With that novel I designed my own book cover, attempted to do my own marketing and advertising, and tried to make my mark as an author. The difference between then and now, besides more motivation, is the faith in me and the faith I have in God.

My acknowledgements have grown extensively since that time. First and foremost, I’d like to give honor and glory to God. Without him I am nothing. He gives me breath and keeps me blessed and highly favored. Next I would like to thank my mother Evelyn. She has been my support and ride or die chick, manager, confidante, and everything in between, for forever and a day. I never had an awful childhood and I have no blame to place on anything to do with my rearing. As a matter of fact, I’m grateful for my mother being who she is. I could have been aborted, trashed, strung out on drugs or a host of other things. But, I was taken care of and raised with morals and values, and talents I was allowed to express no matter how tired she was or irritated with her own drama. For that I say thank you.

My sister Latressia and brother Jason are an inspiration to me because the entire time I’ve been creating and visualizing things they have been my audience. That’s what sisters and brothers are for but I of course I think mine are better than any in the world. I love and cherish them and their families—Amber and Jewel; Keeyonna, Ayonna and London—for their support.

My extended family; I guess at this point I should start naming names. Well, here goes. If I forget you it’s because of my memory not because you’re not in my heart. Pearlee, Willie, Joe, Ronald, Felicia, Latanya, Beronica, Tiffany, Raven, Delvin, Brian, Emily, Eric Jr., Erica, BreAune, Basia, Iyayiosa, Maria Kirkwood, Shoshanna, Cleo, Johnny, Betty, Margaret, Jackie for always being supportive. The hosts of other cousins and family members I forgot to name, I thank you.

My friends: KTeena Curry for being my number one ace. She’s been there when I needed her and when the thought came into my head that I needed her. She was there for me before I ever vocalized it. Melanie, Nancy, Serena, Rashell, Nicole, Ashley, Sean, Jamesha, Amy, Megan, Jeff, Tiffany, Monique R., Chara N., Authur S., Rhonda B., Maurice and Joyce M., Kim, Victoria, LeVonshae, Betty, Keke, Eva C. & family, Sean C,. Sean M., Denise H., Stephan H., Teneka S., Lauren N., WillBill, Bryan M., Mike H., Kristine V., David & David, Steven E., Tony C., Lawrence M., Iris M., Kelly W., Corey S., Ron B., Rosalyn J. & family, Ms. Shannon, all my FB friends, Twitter followers, Books by Angela supporters, Marinello Schools of Beauty ladies, my Navy boos, (as in friends, not lovers), all of my friends I forgot to name but have a place in my heart.

Professionally: I’d like to give many thanks to my book cover designer, Keith Saunders from Marion Designs in Atlanta, Georgia, who has been with me a few years now. I am not the easiest client to get along with because I’m very critical. Mix over 2000 miles, a 3 hour time difference and hard work on both parts and getting an initial draft design or idea for a book becomes very stressful. Through it all he still emails and calls me with different ideas on my different projects and no matter how many revisions I ask for, and sometimes we go through lots, he remains pleasant and focused. Our report with each other is now like two peas in a pod and he sees my vision almost immediately. For that I’m grateful. Jay Wiggs is a partner and friend of Keith Saunders and was referred for his magnificent work as a videographer for Marion Designs. He edited my Erotica video with some sexy steamy scenes. The ladies from Bad Kitty Photography took all my pictures and shot the video for Erotica—specifically Stacey Wooten Hartman and Cinnamon Gray. Without their support, time and effort, and the amazing attention they give me I wouldn’t have those awesome cover, model and web pictures. Thanks ladies! I will be back for Spring 2013 with my beach body. Mark Drake at WinTech who was a former coworker in the Navy, is now my web designer. He has amazing and limitless talent he can now showcase around the world; Mitch Easley, the hot model in my Erotica novel and also a former coworker. He came through for me when I didn’t have anyone to feature in my video. It’s great to have IT buddies!

I’d like to send a special shout out to women who have gone through some hard times and needed a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, and advice from other women. This past year I’ve been that to so many and needed that from so many. We have to grow stronger in sisterhood without backbiting, jealousy, fighting, and rage. I left it very vague for a reason.

My novels, past, present and future, are a reflection of who I am as a person. The creativity that goes into this is sometimes very stressful. There are long hours, hard days, frustrations and life’s problems that get in the way. But, this is what I love to do. It’s what I believe I was created for.

So, I know there will be judgments, criticisms and plain old hating going on but I write what’s interesting to me. It’s honest, it’s real to me, and is no-holds barred writing. Like the ink on the paper, court the words rhythmically put together, and fall in love with the story. Have a relationship with a book. ~BOOKS BY ANGELA~

Shane and Jasarae

(With Lee)

My First Time

I’d just gotten out of a relationship and I was ready to do whatever the hell I wanted to do; Whether or not it was reckless or not; Whether or not it was responsible, not even. I just wanted to live out my fantasies the way I wanted to live them out—with no judgment.

When I met Lee we were at Bar Sixty; a quaint little bar in the heart of Jacksonville, Florida. She was a mixed race young woman, Filipino and Caucasian. She was beautiful, not because of her race, but because she fell into what I wanted my fantasy fuck to be. Her hair was long and brown, curls cascading down her back, full lips with a defined cupid’s bow, and large, almond shaped eyes. I was nervous to approach her but I told my guy friend, Shane, what I wanted to do. He knew everything about me and brought me out here to have some wild fun. She was noticeably tipsy, and I had never approached a woman before. My heart was racing but I was wet as well.

She sat at the bar dancing to herself. The music was ferociously loud but as I walked over to her, it felt like the commercials I’d seen; there was no music except the rapid thumping of my heartbeat. There was no one else there—I had tunnel vision. I couldn’t relax. Shane walked to the other side of her and she looked at him first with an interested expression. But, I expected that. Everyone was interested in Shane. He was what my mom labeled, a beige negro. His hair had the waves that every woman out here in Florida craved and his body was great, too. I just never saw him in that light and I guess he felt the same for me because we’d never been intimate. Lee’s face was that of lust when she saw Shane, but then she noticed me and it changed. She then looked paranoid like we were going to set her up.

What the fuck is this? She looked at us both.

It’s nothing. Calm down. We gotta proposition for you." Shane did all the talking. For some reason she seemed assured when he spoke to her. I would’ve been still tripping about us rolling up on her like that.

What kinda proposition? She asked, words slurred.

My girl here wants to have some fun with you. So, why don’t you oblige. She looked my way like I had the plague.

I don’t do girls. I mean, I have before, but I don’t do that now. She tossed her hair back in my direction and looked at Shane. I was totally done with it then.

You know you want to. You feeling my friend, too, so why not let her have that experience? I would be flattered if I were you. Of all the women in this club she found you the most attractive.

Really? I couldn’t believe she fell for that. I just watched him perform his magic trick. He was so good at doing that. I wasn’t able to get a guy to look in my direction.

Yeah, really. You do that for her then maybe I’ll do something for you. He flashed a sly smile and looked at me and winked. Since her back was to me I put my finger in my mouth and gave him the gag signal; like this is making me fucking sick.

Well, let’s do this. She said. She seemed more into him than anything and slowly the tingling I felt between my legs was starting to go away.

He told her we would be traveling together and she would follow. I couldn’t wait for him to get in the car so we could talk.

Are you ready for some down and dirty, dirty, dirty? He strapped himself into the seatbelt when he got into the car. I wasn’t driving so when we were in the car I turned to face him in my seat.

What was that stuff you over there telling her? She looked like she was eating everything you were saying up. I was like this bitch is crazy. I was shocked. He laughed.

Are you ready for this or not?

I mean obviously it’s going to happen! She’s in a car right behind us. The only reason she agreed to it is because you promised her you were going to tap that after. You sounded like my pimp! My voice was shrieking to disguise my nervousness and frustration. Yes I wanted this but it was sort of a fantasy within my head. Shane had to go make it reality because he loved girl-girl-guy threesomes.

You wanted me to do it, but, you can say no. He looked over at me and laughed then refocused on driving. We’re going to my house so you can pick up your car from there and head home tonight. No pressure.

Why does that sound really special to me? He laughed

Because you know I’m gonna smash!

Oh, my goodness! You don’t even want me there!

You can be there or not be there. I would really love for you to be there. He laughed some more.

Why, do you plan on smashing me, too?

That kinda goes along with having a threesome. You can’t have a threesome without three people unless you call the dildo you keep in your nightstand a third person. I swatted his shoulder. We shared entirely too much with each other for him to know about my dildo. This was starting to be creepy.

Shutup!

You don’t want to do this and now you want to find excuses so you won’t have to. Live a little!

It’s easy for you to say. You’re not putting your mouth on anyone or anything.

Well, if that’s what you’re concerned about then let her perform on you. Don’t do anything. Let her do all the work. I thought about it for a second and I was really confused. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do because I had never been in the situation before.

I’m scared. My voice changed and I showed him the vulnerability I had in myself. Shane and I shared everything together mostly and he knew how I felt about a lot of things. He was my very best friend.

Aww, babe, don’t worry about anything. Don’t feel as though you need to do it to please anyone or anything with me. I don’t want you to feel pressured. When he said that we pulled up to the gated community Shane lived in. I think he chose this place to keep some of the women he dealt with out. He put in the access code and I looked out the back window and saw Lee was still behind us. I was nervous but I still wanted to be there—at least I thought I did. You can stay and watch if you’d like. If you feel comfortable then join, if not, then take off. No harm no foul. He pulled into the covered garage and slid is Chrysler 300 into his reserved space.

I will definitely take you up on that. I smiled nervously at him as we walked to his apartment. Shane had a one bedroom loft in downtown Jacksonville. It was pretty sick. He worked as a software engineer for a small company and made a lot of money. We went out a lot in our off time. He spent his money on his clothes and his place. I worked as a computer engineer at the same company but in a different office. Lee caught up with us after parking in guest parking. Shane had been texting someone so I assumed it was to tell Lee where to park.

Hey! Lee walked up behind us and greeted Shane. You could smell the liquor emanating from her pores when she came up to us. Shane opened the door and she was so close to him I felt like I was just there to be the play-by-play announcer. Now coming to the stage big money Shane weighing in at 215 pounds, 76 inches of pure muscle, 13% body fat and all around luscious lover—he’s ready! Weighing 123 pounds, 60 inches of thin meat, 23% body fat in tits and ass and voted Super Slut of the Year is Lee! I laughed to myself. I laughed to myself.

I closed the door behind them and walked into the living room. Shane’s loft was unlike anything I had ever seen in person and more like something I’d seen on plenty of home decorating shows. His place was continental themed. The entry way was Africa. There was amazing African art on the beige wall we painted one day. In a corner there was an extremely tall statue—in another there was a vase with names of the first slaves taken from Africa imprinted on it. He had spears in a custom holder and a coat rack but it was made in the shape of the Baobab tree which is common in Africa. From there you came to the living room which was modeled after South America. There was a huge white leather sectional in the middle of the room with huge bright Aztec printed pillows accenting it. The tables were made of petrified Ibe wood and were turned and twisted to resemble specific trees and plants seen in South American countries. There was a huge saltwater aquarium on one wall filled with colorful tropical fish and a huge entertainment center with the biggest television I’d seen ever. Shane said it was 70 inches. I guess he still had to incorporate some masculinity in the room. Lee had made herself comfortable on the couch. Shane was in the kitchen fixing drinks. The kitchen had an Asian flare to it. It was small but he fixed it up with dark mahogany cabinets, stainless steel hardware and a light green tiled backsplash. He had a refrigerator with a television on it and a six burner Wolf stove because he loved to cook. The rest of the appliances were stainless steel and he had under-the-cabinet lights which made it cozier.

Jazz, come in here. He called me into the kitchen. I walked past Lee on the couch and, like before, I guess she didn’t think I existed because she didn’t even look my way. So, what do you think? Shane asked me as he started fixing wine in glasses.

About what? He reached into the fridge and started taking out cheese. He already had a platter out and crackers on it. He fixed the small platter of appetizers.

You know about what— He gave me a look and I just smiled.

I’m down for trying. I’m still nervous but I will see what happens.

That’s good. He handed me the appetizer platter and took the drinks into the living room. No pressure! He mouthed to me. I sat the platter down on the table and got the coasters from the table drawer to sit down for him to place the wine glasses on. He sat next to Lee on the couch. I sat on the chair on the opposite side of the sofa. He handed her a glass of wine.

Thank you. Lee said to him. She had been texting on her phone while we were in the kitchen. She looked at me a couple times and sipped her wine.

So, what’s up? Shane asked her.

Nothing. I mean, I’m down for whatever… you know.

That’s what I like to hear. He picked up a remote control from the table and pressed a button that instantly turned on some music—an Eric Benet song was playing. The lights were already dim in the recessed canisters in the ceiling. He was really setting the mood. I felt like I should have been taking notes. He took the glass from Lee and sat it on the table. He began kissing her deeply. He grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her head towards him. I was so glad I couldn’t hear the smacking. He rubbed her neck and then his hands made their way down to her breasts. She had uncrossed her legs and now you could see up her short dress to her cookies. I smiled. They were rubbing and touching and at this point I wasn’t excited or interested in doing anything.

Shane had to be sensing me through telepathy because he stopped kissing her looked at me and gave me a nod. I nodded back. It was his way of asking me if I was okay. He pulled off his shirt. I was fine and he went back to kissing her. The music had changed to a song from Maxwell. Shane pulled Lee on top of him and began lifting her already short dress up over her head. She had on a purple thong and no bra. She had a tattoo of a dragon on her thigh that twisted all the way up her backside. Shane had his hands all over her body. Her skin was wrinkling in the areas he was pulling and squeezing. His body started turning me on. Shane and I had never been intimate. I’d seen him having sex before because I just had a fetish of watching a dick go inside a pussy and he let me watch him sometimes. But, we’d never had sex, never kissed, and never crossed that line.

He pulled her thong to the side as she grinded her body on top of him and he put his fingers inside her. She threw her head back, curls cascading down her back and moaned. I started to get turned on.

Their hands were all over each other and there was so much moaning and groaning coming from that direction it was making me feel really weird to just sit back and watch. Shane was now fingering her harder. He picked her up as he stood and turned her around to lie on the couch. They switched positions and she was now on top. Her legs were spread wide around his shoulders as he got down on his knees in front of the couch. He pulled her thong the rest of the way off and tossed it behind him, which incidentally landed by me. Shane started performing oral sex on her. He put his hands on the inside of her thighs and spread her legs even more so I could see him licking her clit and stuffing his fingers inside of her. She had a piercing down there that he was definitely fixated on. She had her hand on his head pulling him down into her and she was moaning with her eyes closed. He fingered her and sat up. Lee’s body was gyrating against his fingers like a pogo stick. He looked over at me and gave me a head signal to come over. I walked over to him and kneeled down where he was. Lee’s eyes were still closed. And she was still moaning because his fingers hadn’t left from inside her. He moved over on his knees to allow room for me. He grabbed my hand and proceeded to give me what someone watching might think were Braille lessons. He put my hand where his was—inside her. She felt very warm. I know I shouldn’t have thought it would feel different—she was a woman just like I was. Why would it be any different? There were ridges inside her—like I was reaching different levels within her. She continued moaning, never opened her eyes, but slowed down moving her pelvis. Shane rubbed my back as I took over fingering her. He moved over to sucking her breasts. I was ready to leave my identity behind for a night. I didn’t want to be the normal person I always am—reserved and conservative. I wanted to step outside the box and do some things I had heard about, read about, fantasized about.

I leaned over to her pussy and I guess her pheromones were emanating from her skin because I was getting more turned on by the minute. My nose hit the top of her piercing and my lips made their way to her lips. They were swollen with passion, red from the brutal hand job Shane had given her. I licked her, just a little. I wasn’t sure what it would taste like. I was unsure if it was supposed to taste like anything specifically but was surprised—aside from the remnants of the perfume she still had on it didn’t have a taste or smell. I closed my eyes and pictured a guy performing oral sex on me and tried to be that person for her. Oral sex with some guys wasn’t stimulating to me because they were sometimes too rough and aggressive or they didn’t know what part they were stimulating.

I liked licking her. I was slow and sensitive yet effective. I thought about sucking dick and used the same motions but softer. She moaned and her back arched when I peeked. I rubbed the lower part of my face in her muff and let my tongue slip inside of her. The liquid she expelled was like semen and it tasted sweet. I sat up to finger her more and Shane was completely naked stroking himself. He was more than a sexy ass man—he was my best friend and he didn’t judge me. I wanted to try so much stuff with him before but never got a chance to. I felt I could unleash my inner slut bucket tonight. I stopped fingering Lee and looked at Shane. He looked at Lee then at me. I was still on my knees beside him in front of Lee. In one swift motion I removed his hand from his dick and leaned to put him inside my mouth. He was surprised and had this look on his face like he didn’t know what to do—whether he should touch me or not. Lee took advantage of the alone time she had and stimulated herself with her fingers. Her eyes closed as she pleasured herself. I looked up at him as I sucked slow and hard at first making sure I went all the way down his shaft and back up. Then I went fast and furiously letting the spit ooze from my mouth providing lubrication for him. His head was tilted back and his eyes were closed. He was moaning, too. I sucked harder. I had seen him before, with other women, and I knew his size but he felt different from the way he looked. He was so big in my mouth I was hot in the pants. My pussy was burning with desire. I put both my hands on his dick and stroked him as I sucked his head. I was moaning, too, my throat clogged up with both his and Lee’s love juices. I was startled by Lee who was behind me spreading my ass and licking my pussy from behind. I moved my knees apart to allow her more room to concentrate—and I thought to myself, this feels so fucking amazing.

Shane grabbed my hair and secretly I wanted him to hold and rub me the way he attended to Lee earlier. I over exaggerated when I tossed my hair to the side as I sucked harder and spit on his dick. I used my tongue to trace a path from his shaft down to his testacles. They were salty but I sucked them one by one. Lee was at my backside fingering and licking me. I was so excited with the attention I was receiving. Shane stopped me from performing and sat me up on my knees moving Lee out of the way. He looked at me as if I were the only woman in the room. He picked me up and laid me on the couch on my back holding my legs up. My dress had shifted up around my stomach with my ass hanging out. He used his thumb to stimulate my clitoris and I rotated my pelvis to match his motions. He stared straight into my eyes and moved himself closer to me finally stopping to take my dress completely off. My bra was exposed so I reached to unhook. He leaned his head over towards me and sucked my breasts so hard. I winced in pain. He sensed me pull back and lightened up but I pulled his head towards me wanting more. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me towards him. I could feel his dick at my opening and I was throbbing because I wanted him so bad. I didn’t know where this lust for Shane had come from. I wanted something else—at least I thought I did. He put his hand on his dick and rubbed it up and down the folds of my vagina. He didn’t have on a condom on but for some reason I wasn’t alarmed. He pushed the head of his penis inside me and I closed my eyes. He gave me a little bit of himself at a time until he was entirely inside me. He moaned. I did, too. He took over going in and out of me. He felt so good and I moaned and pulled him completely into me. My legs were wrapped around his back and my hand was rubbing his washboard stomach while he thrusted himself inside of me. I reached down and stroked him feeling him going inside me. He propelled himself inside me harder and deeper and faster. I moaned and expelled noises I couldn’t control. He moaned with me, our sounds on opposite frequencies until we were about to climax together and our noises became one. He pulled himself out and spewed his warm liquid onto my stomach. He was out of breath and so was I. I forgot all about Lee. I glanced around the room and it seemed she had gotten up and left. Her things were gone as I sat up on the couch.

Stay right there. I’ll get you a towel, he said and walked a couple steps to his bathroom. I laid back down being careful not to spill everywhere. He came back with two towels in his hand. One was wet and steaming hot and the other was dry. He began to wipe me off and clean in between my legs. I felt like a baby.

Are you okay?

Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? I sat up and grabbed the dry towel blotting myself. I don’t know where my panties went but I stood up and adjusted myself, put my dress back on and pulled it down and looked around for them.

You don’t think we need to talk about what happened?

We probably should so it won’t be weird. I grabbed my panties from under the table. I guess our friend split. I laughed. We weren’t giving her enough attention or something.

I guess so. That reminds me… I need to check the door. He walked back down the entryway to lock the door. So, let’s talk. He had on his pants again but no shirt. He walked over to the sofa and sat down. I walked back towards him and sat beside him.

What? I looked at him. I already knew what I just wanted him to start the dialogue.

What happened?

I don’t really know. I was just enjoying myself and—

You just started sucking my dick. He laughed.

I don’t know where that came from. I mean I thought about it before.

You thought about it? He asked in shock.

Yeah, I thought about it before, I said embarrassed.

I don’t know what got into me either. I just wanted to get inside you so bad, and then when I was there I didn’t want to leave at all. It was the greatest feeling I’ve felt in a long time. I don’t know if it was because we are so close but it was just a different feeling—like a necessity like air. I felt I needed you like I needed air, and I had to have you.

Wow! We never talked about this before at all and it just seems weird that it took a fantasy I wanted for us to have sex together. I always wondered what it would be like with you but I never took it there. Tonight I just felt I should step outside of my comfort zone. I didn’t think about how it could jeopardize our relationship or anything. I just wanted to do it so I did. I didn’t even think about the repercussions that came with it. I just wanted it and I wanted it to feel the way I had imagined it. He reached over and pulled my head to his and kissed me. His lips were soft and firm. He kissed me passionately putting his tongue inside and intertwining it with mine. I put my hand on the side of his face and kept kissing him. I was getting hot and bothered again. I leaned against him and lifted myself up to put my leg around him. I straddled him and kept kissing him. He lifted my dress back up over my ass and groped me. His hands were all over my back rubbing and touching me. I stopped kissing him, grabbed his head, and pushed it to my breasts. He pulled my dress straps down so my already erect nipples popped out. My dress sat bunched up around my waist. I whispered in his ear, Suck harder. He pulled me close to him and started sucking so hard my nipples were burning. I moaned and he continued. The friction he made with his facial hair and my chest was turning me on in more ways than one. He put one of his hands in between my legs and stimulated my vagina. He put his fingers inside me as he continued to suck my nipples. I reached down and massaged his dick through the pants he was in. He stopped playing with my nipples and leaned back to get a good view of what I was doing to his member. He unfastened the pants and exposed himself. I started stroking him and he looked at me. He went back to his relationship with my breasts.

I pulled him all the way out of his pants, adjusted my straddle position and sat on his dick slowly—easing my body onto him, careful not to hurt either of us. He said, Oh, shit! very low and grabbed my waist, slowly pulling me further down onto him. Then he leaned back pushing himself farther into me. I threw my head back, too, like Lee had done earlier. I didn’t do much moving because his hands were still holding my waist, while he started to lift himself in and out of me.

Don’t stop, baby, I whispered into his ear. Give it to me harder, I demanded. I wanted him so bad. This was the strangest turn of events for the night. With him being inside me my heart was starting to ache for him. We went past screwing, fucking, and having sex. We were at making love. I wanted him to know that through my physical prowess I was in love with him.

It seemed he felt the same way because our bodies started moving in a deep, dark, rhythmic dance. It was heavy bass, guitar, piano, sax, and a few more instruments I couldn’t name. I felt high. I felt we were making love, to a psychedelic funky beat. I closed my eyes and there were bright colors of purple, blue, red, and yellow all around us. Our sounds, moans and groans, were matching the rhythm of the music. I looked at Shane and he was as heavily involved inside me with pleasure as I was taking it. Our motions were past rhythmic—we had invented our own music. He filled me up with love and I was stuffed with it.

We climaxed over and over again, liquid seeping from inside me, him becoming flaccid then erect again. I was falling in love. He’d always been a part of who I was as my friend but now that this boundary had been crossed he was more and less at the same time. He was no longer just my friend, but a lover and confidante—a close soul mate. I didn’t want him to be anymore. I wanted him to be my man. Him being inside me, filling me up, loving me and giving me all of him made me want to set that in stone.

We settled down on the couch, completely naked, me lying on top of him—him holding me. He had gotten a blanket from the hall closet earlier after our first set of escapades. Now we were lying together enjoying each other’s body heat.

I think it was better the second time around. What do you think?

I think it was amazing. I felt euphoria taking over my body as I lay on his muscular chest. His heart beat to my breath.

Why do you think it was amazing?

I think that because I felt like I’d never felt before. There was a feeling that came over me like I was high. We laughed. His chest heaved in and out and moved me. I felt like I had smoked a fatty. I laughed again.

I thought it was good, too. I never thought about having sex with you. He