Pathway to Marital Success: A Prevention and Cure for Broken Homes, Marital Failures, Problematic Marriages & Wisdom Buttons for Right Marital Choice and Bliss.

By Samuel Ojuekanmi

In this book Pathway to Marital Success, you will find practical, workable suggestions for attracting Marital Harmony a well researched, comprehensive Marital expository and testimony producing operation manual for perfecting marital success. I herein bring to principal focus, marital analysis; Diagnosis and Prognosis through research and, divine revelations with truly well rounded divine principles for marital success.

In other words, this book can be termed the ABC, of Marriage for every home reading this book is turning your Marital frustrations to restorations and coping with the most common marital problems and misconceptions; herein you can learn how to harness the invigorating power of sex and what it does to you, to ordain your marital success.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Nov 14, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499089561

Samuel Ojuekanmi

Samuel Olorunfemi Ojuekanmi.has served as pastor, evangelist, missionary, prophet, marriage counselor and teacher. He was born in the village of Olle – Bunu, Kogi State; Nigeria, from where he proceeded to Kabba for his High School Education. He was baptized in the Holy Spirit early 1997 under the Ministry of Late Apostle S. S. Jemigbon, who also groomed him in ministry; his life was revolutionized – the dramatic experience which launched him from peripheral Christian experience into the deep ocean of meaningful relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. He immediately assumed leadership of both the Christ Fellowship in the secondary School he attended, and later, the Polytechnic and University Christian Unions. He entered into full-time ministry 1986, having worked one year and a half as lecturer. He attended the Assemblies of God College, Mattersey, Doncaster, U.K and studied Ministry in London, having trained in the Apostolic Church, Nigeria for over Four years. Samuel Ojuekanmi has travelled to several nations of the world for evangelistic outreaches and missionary works, taking the message of salvation, love, healing and power to both local and international communities. He has dynamic prophetic anointing, powerful deliverance ministry, preaching the Word of Faith with signs following. Today, Brother Samuel heads SolidRock Nations Evangelistic Outreach Ministries, Pretoria, South Africa as General Overseer/ Founder. Samuel is happily married to Evangelist (Mrs.) Helen Modupe Ojuekanmi (Nee Motojesi) with four children – Sharon Bunmi, Moyo Lily, Samuel Seun (Jnr.) and Favour Mosun.

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Copyright © 2014 by Samuel Ojuekanmi.

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Scripture taken from the King James Version. KJV is a public domain.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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Rev. date: 11/13/2014

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Contents

Acknowledgements

Chapter One Biblical Foundation For Marital Success

God Made And Makes Marriages

Partnership Before God

How Do We Know Whom To Marry? Choice Of Life Partner

How To Know If It Is True Love

Checklist For Prospective Man And Woman

Marital Building Blocks: Beyond The Choice Of Partners

God’s Plan For Husbands

Loving Leadership

Responsibilities Of Leadership

Divine Blue-Print For Women And Wives

Crisis Resolution: Resolving Difficulties Within Marriage

Crisis Resolution: Solving Difficulties

Avoiding Difficulties In Marriage

Chapter Two Secrets Women Should Know About Their Husbands

Answers To The Most Common Questions Women Ask

Reasons Why Men Say No To Sex, And How To Help Them Out: Practical Answers That Bring Marital Harmony

Answers That Work Wonders

Chapter Three What Sex Does For You

Sexual Misconceptions And Bible Standards

What Sex Does For You: The Wisdom Of God In Creation

What Sex Does For Your Body

What Sex Does For Your Mind

Chapter Four Secrets To A Happy Marriage

Tips To Keep Love, Joy, And Excitement Alive In Your Marital Relationship

Premarital Sex

Family Altar

Conclusion The Pastor, His Ministry, Marriage And Wife

This work is respectfully dedicated to my spiritual father, the third LAWNA (Lagos, Western and Northern Areas) territorial chairman and vice president of the Apostolic Church, the late Nigerian Pastor Samuel Jemigbon, an apostle in the body of Christ, under whose ministry I surrendered my life to the lordship, authority, and government of our Lord Jesus Christ.

You taught me to run, fly, and soar in the Lord.

In patience you washed my stained dresses,

Till I now can wash others’.

Your practical love for me led me to Christ.

I saw Jesus in you. So I reached out to Him, and

He accepted me with outstretched arms.

Your luminous sunbeam of light illuminated my life.

It took you years to bring me into maturity, and each time I fell,

You lifted me up. You taught me to rise each time I fall. I now can shine

Into eternity! May God bless you now and through eternity (amen).

You were a shining example!

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Let me use this opportunity to thank God for my precious wife of over thirty-one years—Helen Modupe née Motojesi—God’s love gift, whose support, encouragement, and counsels helped in no small measure to bring this work to birth to its completion successfully.

You are highly appreciated for your beautiful contributions. Without the opportunity and experience our marital relationship offered me, this work would not have been as rich as this.

To say the least, I have never met any couple so united and burdened in love to help almost everybody that comes their way. Thank you for allowing God to use you in bringing this work to a successful end.

CHAPTER ONE

BIBLICAL FOUNDATION FOR MARITAL SUCCESS

By way of question, what do you think marriage is? Why are you getting married? Why have you chosen each other? What are you expecting from your future partner? When you’re married, how are you going to have a fulfilling marriage? Perhaps the most common answers to these questions would be: legally living together, because it is socially acceptable, because we’re in love, she or he will be a fantastic wife or husband, we’re going to love each other.

All these are perfectly correct, but there is much more to marriage than these. If these were the only foundation, the marriage could be very shaky and therefore easily broken. What is love anyway? In the back of your mind, you probably have a picture of what marriage should be like based on your past experiences. Is this a true picture? Also you may have a ‘dream partner’ fulfilling his or her role perfectly. But what is his or her role, and what if he or she doesn’t meet to your expectations? The purpose of this chapter is to try to answer some of those questions and so get the very best out of our married lives together. God wants the best life for us (Jeremiah 29:11–14), and the Bible tells us how to live that life (2 Timothy 3:16).

Marriage and family life are set forth in the Bible as wonderful, fulfilling, joyful, and challenging. It tells us how our relationships can reach their full potential. When God created man and woman (the family) in His own image, He set up certain principles, purposes, and patterns for the family that need to be applied or restored in order to reach this goal. Be aware that next to accepting Christ as Saviour and Lord, the choice of a lifelong partner is the most important and far-reaching decision of your life. You must neither enter nor continue your relationship without a lot of thought and sharing together. Now let’s examine the biblical principles of marriage.

GOD MADE AND MAKES MARRIAGES

God’s Concept of Marriage for Man

What is the plan of God concerning marriage?

1. ‘I will make a helper suitable for him.’

God created man and woman. He gave woman to the man to be his helper. He blessed them and told them to be fruitful and increase in number (Genesis 2:7, 22:2–18, 1:27–28; Matthew 19:5–6; Mark 10:6–9). God Himself established marriage as the only relationship through which mankind can fulfil His instructions to be ‘one flesh’ and to ‘be fruitful and increase in number’. It was a God-blessed relationship between one man and one woman. Polygamy (Genesis 4:19–24) was not part of God’s original plan and so brought much trouble (e.g. 1 Kings 11:1–13, Genesis 29:26–31).

In Matthew 19:11–12, this is the normal state for a man and woman. He gives three exceptions in verse 12. Paul also repeated His teaching to Timothy (1 Timothy 4:5).

2. ‘The two will become one.’

This oneness is not just physical union. There is much more to marital oneness than the sexual union. Becoming one flesh in marriage is more than becoming one body (1 Corinthians 6:16–17). The sexual union is included in the marital union, but it is not the same thing (Exodus 22:16–17). God has created man and woman to become one in every way. Man and woman were created to become one flesh. In the age of ‘unisex’ and sexual abuse and misuse, it is vital that we look at what has grossly distorted and cheapened this sexual union. The Bible clearly says that this union must only take place within the framework of marriage.

Premarital sex and extramarital sex are revealed as sins against God (Genesis 39:11–9, Exodus 20:14), sins against ourselves (1 Corinthians 6:12–20), and even sins against society (Genesis 20:1–9). Because of these ever-increasing sins in society, the sanctity of the sexual union within marriage has become regarded by some as dirty. Yet the Bible talks of it as pure (Hebrews 12:4). An evangelist based in the United States of America, Billy Graham, says, ‘One thing the Bible does not teach is that sex in itself is sin. Far from being prudish, the Bible celebrates sex and its proper use, presenting it as God-created, God-ordained, God-blessed.’ It makes plain that God Himself implanted the physical magnetism between the sexes for two reasons—for the propagation of the human race and for the expression of that kind of love between man and his wife that makes the true oneness. His command to the first man and woman to be ‘one flesh’ was as important as His command to ‘be fruitful and multiply’.

The fruit (the children) of such a blessed relationship is not only a blessing (Psalm 127:3–5) but also a great responsibility; we’re told to bring them into the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). On the question of planning children, in the light of this balance between blessing and responsibility, I will quote Tim and Beverly LaHaye: ‘We feel every Christian family should plan on having children if at all possible—each couple should prayerfully and thoughtfully bring into the world the number of children they can properly train to serve God, welcoming each child as a gift from God’ (The Act of Marriage, 199, 208). It should be openly discussed with each other, the issue of planning for children. It is important.

The Genesis account of the beginning of marriage concludes with a statement that expresses four elements that should be part of every marriage (Genesis 2:24–25):

• A cutting off: ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother.’ The marital partners leave their parents. But unfortunately some find it difficult to leave—to their own disadvantages or detriment.

• A unity: ‘And they shall become one flesh.’ The two are to see themselves as one. The old family units are broken, and a new one begins. The two, not the three or four.

• An intimacy: ‘And they were both naked and they were not ashamed’. Their absence of self-consciousness enabled them to enjoy one another and to meet each other’s needs without any sense of embarrassment or rejection. Many marriages have real problems because the parents have too much influence in the new home.

PARTNERSHIP BEFORE GOD

A partnership before God, according to the scriptures (Romans 7:2–3; 1 Corinthians 7:39), is a lifelong agreement, a lifelong friendship, and a lifelong union. The whole concept of sharing ourselves with each other in a unique and intimate relationship to become one is not one that easily allows separation. When you make your vows to each other before God at your wedding, you’re making a lifelong agreement—a covenant. Proverbs 2:17 and Malachi 2:13–16 warn us of the danger of ignoring such an agreement. God hates it when we ‘break faith’ with the partner of our marriage covenant.

It may be that some of you reading this book have already been divorced and are considering remarriage. Please ask a minister of God about this as you’ll need to know what the Bible says. In marriage when one is in trouble, the other is there to help. ‘Two are better than one… A cord of three strands is not easily broken’ (Ecclesiastes 4:9–12). What is God saying? The marital partnership can only be really secure with God as the third partner.

Are you prepared to give yourself to your partner and use your time and abilities for him or her for the rest of your life? Will you do everything you can to make your marriage a success?