I Dreamt I Became President

By Don Keys

Don Keys gets whisked away into a bomb shelter on his first day as president, where he meets a mysterious group that claims to be the nations true power brokers.

Numerous five-star generals, a five-star moderator who prefers not to be named, and others share their insights on the economy, war, taxes, and other topics that hell need to master.

Keys learns that pop-up wars ensure the nation always has experienced war personnel. Hes also lectured about controlling the nations youth so that the country doesnt spiral into chaos like Mexico.

He gets critical advice, such as responding to questions with answers such as, Well be looking into that matter, or Ill have my so and so committee investigate circumstances that are involved in these matters.

Even more importantly, hes told to always keep his desk in the Oval Office clean so that it looks like hes keeping up with his work. Hes never to put his feet on his deskor else the world would think his job is a snap.

Take a hilarious and revealing look at what it means to be president in a book that could be more fact than fiction.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jan 6, 2015
• ISBN: 9781496959928

Don Keys

He was a former chaplain’s assistant in the Marine Corps. He majored in music and psychology in college. He performed professionally in nightclubs and country clubs for many years. He ran his own music business (pianos and organs) for over 21 years. He owned a theater business for 10 years. He is now 80 years old and is reflecting on the past.

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© 2015 Don Keys. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 01/06/2015

ISBN: 978-1-4969-5993-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4969-5992-8 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

First Day

Anonymous Moderator

The Economy

General Noe Zitall

Control Our Youth

General Lemmy Tellia

Wartime Experienced Personnel

General Ain Tworthit

Top of the Pile

General Iam Knotshur

Lunch Time

Thareel Scoop

Population Explosion

General Howl Deweyno

The IRS

General Yuhav Toupee

IRS Rumors

General C.U. Encort

Senator Key Pumgessen

Senator Gimmie Mine

Senator Watta Wekair

Golf Course Foursome

The President

Second Lieutenant Ima Buffpar

Captain Billy Bob Grabbas

Second Lieutenant Sheesa S. Player

Moderator’s True Identity

Retired 5 Star General

Kifford Myas

Talking with Press Agent

Thareel Scoop

Religious Halla Ballou

The Pope

Father Splotch

Cock-a-Mamie Story

Thareel Scoop

Personal Beliefs

Fanatical Solution #1

Economic Wars

Fanatical Solution #2

Illegal Immigration

Fanatical Solution #3

Jewish Settlement

Fanatical Solution #4

Our Penal System

Thanks For Support

FOREWORD

First of all … The front cover picture of the Harley and me was originally used as a prop for some CD music that I had made for my sister. She demanded that I make a tape, as she called it, for my music in exchange for a real large picture that she hand painted for me, now hanging on a wall in my living room. (And a very beautiful painting … I might add.)

Evidently … my music turned out pretty good too … because she called after 2 or 3 days and wanted 10 more CDs to give to some of her choir member friends of her church!!. What she didn’t tell me at the time was that there were some 200 members in that choir! Needless to say, I was very busy for quite a long time in my music room.

Now about the Harley and me. … the picture was taken a couple of years ago … … … … okay it was really 11 years ago ‘cause I was 69 at the time!!

The Harley still looks brand new as it did when I got it used from a fella in Scottstown!! He … by the way had handi-capped license plates on it!! It so happens that he was a fireman who fell from a 35- foot ladder and—amazingly—lived … but … damaged something either in his back or legs … I don’t remember just what he said!! But he walked pretty normal … maybe with a slight limp … but handi-capped plates on a motorcycle??

Oh well … the Harley still looks brand new and me … well, just add 11 years of age … and keep in mind that the motorcycle never had sugar put into it’s tank … whereas … I did in mine!! You know … type two diabetes from my love for chocolate and other bad for me" stuff!!

If there had been sugar put into the cycle’s tank it would be completely kaput … but it still