Orphan in the Storm

By Julie Z. Roth

This is my own story of how I overcame unbelievable poverty and neglect. I was told by my dad that I wasnt even worth educating, yet I managed to escape the torment of shame and guilt to become a top wage earner in the Information Age, and excelled beyond my own expectations in college. Its the story of Dads death at only forty-one, leaving Mom with five children, two months pregnant with number six, a half-built house with no indoor plumbing, no water supply, a stick-shift Chevy that she couldnt drive, a $2,000 life insurance policy, and nothing in the bank. Its the story of how our Heavenly Father came to our rescue with one miracle after another to keep us safe and together when we, by all appearances, were destined to doom. Its my personal testimony of the many supernatural experiences that have no other explanation than simply miracles.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Feb 9, 2015
• ISBN: 9781490862866

Julie Z. Roth

Julie Z. Roth has been a very successful businesswoman in the telecommunications and information-technology industries. She earned her PhD at Vision International University in Christian Business Leadership, and is a founding member of the John Maxwell Team. She is currently owner of JZR Enterprises and is a speaker and business consultant.

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Copyright © 2015 Julie Z. Roth.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

The story is exclusively mine and all names are fictitious.

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission. NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® and NIV® are registered trademarks of Biblica, Inc. Use of either trademark for the offering of goods or services requires the prior written consent of Biblica US, Inc.

Interior Graphics/Art Credit: Bob Coffey, Designer/Artist

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-6285-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-6287-3 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-6286-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014921933

WestBow Press rev. date: 2/9/2015

CONTENTS

Dedication

Preface

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1 How It Began

Chapter 2 A Change of Plans

Chapter 3 It’s a Girl!

Chapter 4 Life with Dad

Chapter 5 Moving, Moving, Moving

Chapter 6 Pain Keeps Coming

Chapter 7 How I Met Jesus

Chapter 8 More Pain and Embarrassment

Chapter 9 Life without Dad and the Art of Forgetfulness

Chapter 10 Miracles

Chapter 11 What a Difference a Year Makes

Chapter 12 My First Job

Chapter 13 The Enemy Within

Chapter 14 Feeding the Demons

Chapter 15 Owning My Problems and Steps to Freedom

Epilogue

DEDICATION

Mom, although you passed away in 2004, every day I am grateful for a different, specific-to-the-occasion comment or lesson that you taught me. I never had a chance to let you know just how much you meant to me and what a great Mom you were. Your life and your example still teach me. You may have left this earth, but you never left the hearts of your six children and the hundreds of people who knew you and who still love and miss you. Mom, my beginning was almost aborted, and most of my life with you seemed very insecure. I didn’t realize that you really did love me until you left this earth that day in June. I don’t think I will ever get over losing you, especially since there is still so much I want to tell you.

Unforgiveness is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.

—Unknown

PREFACE

Writing this book has been one of the most challenging tasks I have ever undertaken. Writing a novel or a biography of someone else’s life would have been much easier than exposing my personal wounds and hurts. My hope is that, by sharing how I uncovered my hidden fear, anger, and insecurity that resulted from cruelty during my childhood, I can help those who read this book learn to recognize and deal with these monsters before they become inflammatory. Their ability to consume you can be seen in many destroyed lives, careers, and relationships. By the grace and love of God, I wasn’t completely overwhelmed, as many are. Instead, I used the experience as my ticket to success. Still, the evil brought upon me for decades was incredibly destructive. Every family is dysfunctional in some area—no one is immune—but mine was so extreme that even as a very young child, I wanted to be left on someone’s doorstep or sent to an orphanage rather than live with my birth parents.

Unfortunately, most families have skeletons in closets that are never buried. This book is about how I opened a lifetime of closets and buried a cemetery of skeletons that had been stalking me since before I was born. It’s also about forgiveness and how it enabled me to love and respect the family I was given with sincere gratitude. Without my parents, I wouldn’t be me. No one else could have given me my identity.

I credit my freedom to faith in an almighty Creator. Believe me, I have previously tried with all my heart to disprove God’s existence and several times chose to separate myself from anything to do with the religious community. But the more I understood the severity of my parents’ rejection, the more I began to realize there was nowhere else to go except to a Heavenly Father. As I look back over my rebellious days, I see that He alone kept me from being utterly consumed by self-hatred. When I was at the end of my rope, His love for me enabled me to tie a knot right there and hang on. Realizing God’s mercy and grace was the only way I could forgive those who had wounded me so horribly.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

My sincere thanks go out to the following people.

God: Thank you for rescuing me and saving me. Thank you for being there even when I wasn’t aware of it. Thank you for giving me back everything the Enemy has stolen. Thank you for allowing me to write my story.

Bob Coffey: Thank you so much for the genius you expressed in creating my book cover. With only a few words from me, you created exactly what I had in mind.

Sylvia Herrera: Thank you for encouraging me to write. Your daily dedication to finishing your paintings modeled the discipline I needed to finish this book.

Karen Streff: Thank you for taking the time from a very busy schedule to read my book from a reader’s viewpoint. Thanks so much for the help and advice.

Max Roth: Thank you for sitting by my desk every day to make sure I was on track to complete this work. You never gave up on me, sweet puppy. I wanted you by my side when I signed the first copy, but you became ill and died on July 28, 2014, and I am heartbroken. No other dog can fill the empty space you left in my heart, nor that special spot beside my desk.

Everyone who asked me, How are you doing with your book?: You kept me accountable.

INTRODUCTION

I will never forget that icy-cold February morning when I was awakened by someone talking on the phone located outside my bedroom door. It was about 6:00 a.m., time for me to start getting ready for school. I wondered where my mother was. She normally came by to wake each of us so we would have plenty of time for breakfast before the school bus came. Suddenly, I recognized that voice outside my door: it was my aunt’s. Why was she here? Only hearing one side of the conversation, I couldn’t tell who she was talking to. Regardless, what I heard her say next left me so cold that I still do not remember anything else that happened that day, only how I felt. I actually felt nothing; I was stone cold. My aunt was telling someone that she was staying with the children while their mother was making arrangements for their dad, who had died during the night.

How on earth this could be? My uncle (Mom’s brother) had taken Mom and all of us children to the hospital to see Dad only a couple of