Tomorrow Will Be Better

By Patricia Dykstra

A decorated veteran, a man of unbreakable faith, humor, spontaneity and love; Dan suffered through sixteen months of a rare and aggressive cancer. Forty years earlier while serving his country in Vietnam never was there a thought that the defoliant Agent Orange he and many others were exposed to; would have him fighting for his life once again.

Always trusting God with the promise that, Tomorrow Will Be Better_ he deeply believed there was a mission to be accomplished. Through the tragic turns in a beautiful journey of life; more blessings were received than disappointments experienced. Surrounded by God appointed strangers, supported with divinely delivered scriptures and blessed with miraculous interventions, the journey and his mission were fulfilled.

His tomorrow became his today; and it was perfect.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jul 18, 2016
• ISBN: 9781512743074

Patricia Dykstra

Patricia Dykstra, a novice author, was first prompted to journal by the critically declining health of her husband. She documented the overwhelming complexity of the medical information, her fears and emotions, and most important, the Holy Scriptures that brought her through the valleys of cancer and anguish to the hilltops of faith and blessings. Even her nursing career of nearly forty years couldn’t keep the turmoil in order, but writing brought her healing and was the fulfillment of a mission once believed to be shared with her husband. She holds firmly to the deep faith her loving husband lived, and with God’s grace, she daily attempts to follow His perfect plan for every tomorrow. Through trials and blessings, she gives all the praise and glory to God for the strengthening and growth of her spiritual life. Supported by loving family and friends, she is living the new life alone but not with uncertainty. She embraces every day with joy and the promise, “Tomorrow will be better.” Residing in Northwest Indiana, Pat is the mother of two married children and blessed Nana of four beautiful grandchildren.

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© 2016 Patricia Dykstra.

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Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-4306-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-4308-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-4307-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016908184

WestBow Press rev. date: 7/15/2016

Contents

Dedication

Foreword

Preface

Acknowledgments

Chapter 1 The Beginning

Chapter 2 The First Leg

Chapter 3 Blessed Years

Chapter 4 The Journey Begins

Chapter 5 Always a Positive Spirit

Chapter 6 A True Hero

Chapter 7 A Loved Man

Chapter 8 Nashville, December 2011

Chapter 9 Back Where We Started

Chapter 10 The Promise of Hope

Chapter 11 Blessed Anticipation

Chapter 12 Day of Hope

Chapter 13 Blessed Relief

Chapter 14 New Life

Chapter 15 Sweet Home

Chapter 16 The Last Days

Epilogue

Dedication

To my children: David, his wife, Marion and Melissa and her husband, Brian. I pray you always remember how much Dad loved you and experience the faith and hope he lived.

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.

—1 Peter 3:15b.

Foreword

Patricia Dykstra wrote this book for those absorbed in helping loved ones or themselves battle cancer. It provides readers a real view of how precious life is and how much it hurts to lose it.

Should you need to counsel a relative or friend about the ups and downs of life-and-death struggles with cancer, this book will give you a beautiful understanding of what a Christian couple’s love affair looked like in its finest and worst moments. This book will tell you of the joys and sorrows in the living and dying process; they are necessary facets of our lives.

In this book, Pat provides timely and relevant Scripture references that can salve the pain of losing a loved one. She gives you the specific Scriptures she and her husband, Dan, used to get through their toughest times. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).

Pat was a registered nurse for over forty-five years, having received degrees from the Evangelical School of Nursing and Valparaiso University. Pat has experience and credibility in the medical field, from staff nurse and nursing supervisor in acute-care settings to management and consultant positions in diverse nursing and health care systems. She learned the profession well and attained a solid working knowledge of the disease processes as well as mainstream hospital operations.

Also in God’s plan but hard to understand is that while her husband was going through his battle with cancer, her best friend, Marce (whom Pat refers to in this book as her not by blood but by love sister) was also in her own seven-year battle with cancer. Marce’s life on earth ended in June 2013, only ten months after Dan’s passing. Additionally, Marce’s husband, Hank, passed away just two weeks later due to diabetic complications. These three deaths affected Pat in a way few people will ever know. These providential events cemented her warm, relational beliefs and feelings. The result is that readers can look inside Pat’s heart to see how God worked through it all.

Dan Dykstra was unique. If you didn’t know him, you might be tempted to think he went through life with an easy care attitude, but that’s far from the truth. God blessed Dan with the marvelous ability to understand and focus on the important things in life. Because of his life experiences and service to our country in Vietnam, he learned to not sweat the small things.

It’s hard to remember a Danny who wasn’t smiling. He was a great person to be with. He faced life in a courageous way that changed the lives of those around him. He was an example of how to walk and carry your head high even in the toughest circumstances. I miss you, Danny. See you later.

—Bill Van Kley

Note: Bill and Dan knew each other all their lives; they attended church and Sunday school together as children and went to the same high school. While their early friendship was casual, it developed into a warm relationship as they shared life’s tragedies and blessings.

Their friendship was strengthened over the years by their humorous adventures and serious conversations alike. As Dan’s illness progressed, their spiritual lives matured. Bill was the ever-present friend who prayed Dan through the storms and praised God for the calms.

When I asked Bill to write the foreword to Danny’s story, he was in the midst of his own critical health issues that left him emotionally and physically exhausted. I prayed deeply over the matter and believed the task would help bring healing and closure to the sadness of a lost friend.

Through Dan’s journey, Bill was never ashamed to share his emotions, his laughter, his anger, and his tears. They were two men so alike and yet so different. Bill, I know Danny felt privileged to call you his friend.

—Pat Dykstra

Preface

I started journaling out of desperation. The information overload, confusion, and contradictory uncertainties were overwhelming; my need for clarity and resolve was crucial. This was the beginning of many journals all of which were embraced by God’s Holy Word. Seven journals documenting a journey of life, fear, hope, disappointment, and rest have guided me in my search for God’s purposes and the fulfillment of a promised mission.

Through journaling, I released my fears, hopes, angers, and prayers inspired by the love of my life paired with what only God was capable of doing through a faith-filled man’s courageous battle with cancer. I reveal brutally honest and personal feelings of desperation, loneliness, suffering, and fear. But God covered every moment with His protection, promises, and miraculous love and grace.

Soon after Dan was diagnosed with cancer, he told me, There’s a mission in all of this. we held firmly to that belief through the journey; I know the story was not only in his living but also in his dying. Led by God and encouraged by many and the desire to preserve the best as well as the worst of memories for our children, I organized my journals.

Dan looked for a mission in all that was happening. We were convinced God had something special planned for our lives after healing. But God’s plan isn’t always ours. Danny gained eternal life before our undefined mission was fulfilled. The mission we thought was ours together was not, but Dan fulfilled his mission through his journey of life. Mine is still a work in progress in God’s hands.

I wrote this because my heartfelt conviction was that this book was a calling from God. I prayed for direction and assurance and asked God if sharing His story was the mission He had laid on Dan’s heart. Through God’s leading, I have now acted on what He has promised to bring to completion.

In this book, I often refer to many people by the first letter of their last names because most single-letter referrals are for medical personnel I haven’t been in contact with since the book was in progress. Additionally, all Scripture verses used come from the New International Version of the Bible, my favorite. My copy is tattered, worn, and heavily highlighted; it brings me comfort even when it’s just held in my hands.

This has happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life (John 9:3). This verse is one of many special texts God gave me when I started journaling. I read it one day after journaling a very fear-filled entry. It had been a long night, one of many I’d spent holding Dan’s hand and praying while overwhelmed with fear. On Sunday, November 18, 2012, our pastor taught from this passage and said, There’s a story to be told. I’d been unexplainably drawn to reading John 9 many times; it’s the story of Jesus’ miraculous healing of the blind man. But I had never considered the almost-lost message in the shadow of the miracle. There exists an enormous chasm between hearing God and listening to what He has to say. God allowed me to listen to His gentle voice and touched my heart to respond. I have since become aware how God has spoken to me not in a thunderous voice but in a whisper. This book is the fulfillment of my desire to glorify God and honor Dan. Thank you, Lord, for teaching me to listen.

What a blessing to have been married to you, my dear Dan, faithful servant, godly father, Papa, honored veteran, the love of my life. My dearest Danny, I have loved you so, and I miss you more than I can say.

Acknowledgments

All praise to God, who has carried me through the valleys of cancer and death and now walks ahead of me through all the tomorrows of hope.

To my children—David, Marion, Missy, and Brian—all my love. God alone knows how you miss Dad as much as I do. I have been and remain blessed by your constant presence and love in my life. Forever my love.

To my dear grandchildren—Zachary, Elizabeth, Ethan, and Alyssa. Thank you for your precious kisses, hugs, and whispered prayers sent via phone and healing giggles heard in the background. With you, all my tomorrows are joyful! I love you, Nana.

And to my dear dad, Great Papa, the greatest of all prayer warriors. Thank you for thousands of prayers—the silent ones, the tearful ones, and those of an anguished spirit.

To my sister, Nancy, for your encouragement throughout the journey to journal. Because of your kind words, I attempted this task, and I’m so glad I did.

Bill, thank you for honoring the love of my life.

In memory of my sister Marce and her husband, Hank. My dearest sister not by blood but by love, your enthusiasm for life and selfless heart have brought me through the darkest moments. You’re gone forever; it was too painful and too soon for me but perfect in God’s timing. I miss you so much!

Special family—Herm and Nancy, Tom and Marge, Linda, Tom, Nels, and Betty—we were blessed by your constant prayers and presence through the journey and the loving relationships that remain as you fill the afterward with laughter and love.

Dearest friends Bill and Colleen, Jerry and Cheryl, Joanne, Carole B, Jan, Jane, Carol—thank you for your devotion through the journey. Your presence was always felt, and your love remains with me.

To six faithful brothers in Christ, the Monday morning breakfast group—Nick, Bob, Paul, Jack, Don, and Dick. Dan was blessed to have you standing in the gap. Thank you for your genuine love, laughter, and tears, for the Spirit-filled night and the humor you alone could bring to even the most gruesome days of cancer. You were truly six extraordinary friends.

My deepest admirations to every health care individual who cared for Dan. No task was ever too great; you cared for him with compassion and sincerity. I’ll never forget your endless efforts to provide comfort. God bless you.

I’m overwhelmed by the presence of amazing people, those God-sent strangers. Without you, this story wouldn’t have been the same. You have blessed us greatly.

To Tommy Walker, God’s gifted artist—deepest gratitude for your personal response and kind words of encouragement. Your music has been a calming and healing spirit through the journey, and it inspires me through all my tomorrows. God bless you.

To so many others—Faith Church family, relatives, friends, and neighbors—the list is unending. We were humbled by the generosity of your love.

Jan, as friend and avid reader I so appreciate your encouragement and willingness to proof my work. Thank You.

And to WestBow Press, thank you for your encouragement, editing assistance and accepting my book for publication. Thank you for helping me fulfill the mission.

Chapter 1

The Beginning

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you

and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call

upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me

and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

—Jeremiah 29:11–13

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer.

—Romans 12:12

In June 1969, I stood in a crowded Chicago airport amid soldiers and their loved ones. I was afraid. Everyone was desperately holding onto their soldier boy until the final call. With tears streaming down my face, one final hug, and one more kiss, I waved good-bye to my fiancé.

The year would be long and fearful. The war in Vietnam had become a death sentence for thousands of young soldiers answering their country’s call to defend freedom. Being drafted into the U.S. Army was God’s plan for Dan’s life. My fear was indescribable, but Danny’s faith was strong, and our love was devoted. His departing words to me were, I’m coming home, and that’s a promise.

The war was foremost on everyone’s mind. It was our reality. Many of the boys from our town had been drafted, fought the war, and returned. Some did not. Dan was a junior studying business at Central College in Iowa when he decided to quit school and wait for his draft number to be called. Business degree graduates were not granted exempt status, and we knew our life together wouldn’t begin until he’d served his military duty. He was on his way to Vietnam ten months after he was drafted.

Every night, I would listen anxiously to Walter Cronkite’s report of the American soldiers’ death totals. But even at age twenty-one, Dan was always positive and lived on the bright side. He was handsome, loving, and mischievous. After we were engaged, a girl from his church told me, All the girls loved Danny. How did I get so lucky? We met on a blind date, a spur-of-the-moment coffee date one beautiful August evening after church. Dan was home from college that summer, and I was about to enter my first year of nursing school. We liked each other from the start, and we were quickly in a relationship. He was a Christian with strong values and a very sweet heart. We fell in love.

Only by the grace of God did he come home from Vietnam a more-handsome, stronger-minded, and faith-filled man. He hadn’t lost his beautiful smile that always made me wonder what he was up to. When he hugged me, his embrace was stronger than I had remembered. Even though he was dreadfully thin and very tanned by the tropical sun, he was the most handsome soldier who had ever returned home from war. His faith had kept him strong. His first words to me were, I love you. I told you I’d come home. He was back. We were together. Everything was going to be all right. He’d left the war behind. All my worries about that horrible year were over. Ten weeks after his return, we were married.

Life was wonderful. God was always good to us, and our marriage was blessed with respect and love. We suffered sad times and disappointments of course, but God always carried us through, and every struggle strengthened our love, our commitment to God, and each other.

We were blessed with two wonderful children who years later were blessed with loving, Christian spouses. And the greatest of all blessings was the four beautiful grandchildren they gave us. During those years, we worked challenging and prosperous jobs; we planned for our retirement and anticipated many happy years growing old together. We were richly blessed with strong relationships and Christian friends.

Dan was a generous man; he gave unconditionally of his time, spirit, and resources. He gave without expectation of any return. He was gentle spirited, the kindest man. One winter afternoon while walking down Chicago’s Michigan Avenue, we passed an obviously needy man sitting on the cold sidewalk with a sign propped up against his chest that read, Veteran, cold and hungry. God bless you. As Dan always did, he gave the gentleman some money. We’d walked only a few feet away when Dan went back and wrapped his coat around the vet, shook his hand, and thanked him for his service to our country. I wasn’t surprised. This was the man I was married to, the love of my life.

He worked most his career for an international company traveling often and assigned repeatedly to problematic plants in need of demanding resolutions. Dan was respected by his colleagues. He was intelligent, credible, and wise, and he led by example. He was determined to live his life faithful to God and his family.

The first thirty-seven years of our married life were happy and blessed as the usual events of life passed by.

Chapter 2

The First Leg

August 22, 2007, was a beautiful day. The sun filled our bedroom with light. I rolled toward Dan and said, Happy anniversary, honey. I love you.

It’s hard to believe we’re married, he said. So how many years?

I hit him in the ribs. Thirty-seven. But it seems like fifty!

We laughed.

I knew Dan hadn’t felt well the past few days. You didn’t sleep very well last night, did you? I’d heard Dan walking around the house about 2:00 a.m. He’d gone to our guest room to sleep. Being my usual fussy self, I thought, I hope he pulled the new bedding back before he plopped down. I’d just finished decorating the guest room in beautiful shades of yellow, rose, and peach, taffetas and silks all complemented by an embossed coverlet—too pretty to sleep on.

No, I didn’t sleep much. I guess you could say I was on security patrol all night. I looked out every window and made my rounds a couple of times.

We’d recently moved from our home of thirty years into a townhome with tall windows that overlooked oaks, pines, and evergreens—a beautiful wooded area tucked into a quiet cul-de-sac frequented only by its residents. Dan would watch the beauty and gracefulness of the deer that grazed in our yard. We were in retirement mode—no more mowing