Candlelight in a Storm: Born to be a Berliner

By Naveen Sridhar

Naveen Sridhar has written a literary love story which is partial memoir, partial biography. Sridhars connection with the subject of the story, his wife Renate, gives a unique perspective about growing up in Germany during WW II and what life was like behind the Berlin Wall. Whilst most books focus on Allied soldiers and their families or the Holocaust, this book focuses on how the German people also suffered during the pivotal and haunting time what life was like for ordinary Germans living the rule of government policies and ideologies in which many could not be trusted. What I specially loved was the glimpse this gave into the unsung heroes the wives and mothers who silently endured the pain and heartbreak of missing loved ones while keeping the country running. Another fascinating part was looking at the difficulties citizens faced when traveling between East and West Germany. Seeing how the country was divided because of a border wall and making enemies out of former neighbors really resonated with topics made instant connections with today's headlines. A careful look will show that modern people deal with the same issues. The lessons of diversity and acceptance, so new to us today, were also challenges for the characters during this time period. A modern reader will have a lot to consider and much to learn from Renates examples. At the end of the day we are all Berliners. Pacific Book Review

For anyone thinking of writing this sort of family biography, this is a textbook in how to do it. Stylistically rich both detailed and breezy, with enough dialog due to the strength of his writing and the thoroughness of his research. SPR Review.

Erudite without being overbearing a unique, spellbinding biography..both charming and elucidating. IndieReader Review

You feel with the flow connect with the pages as you move on true events peered with a beautiful narrative. Ashvamegh Int. J. of English Literature

Sridhar has a talent for highlighting the good in these accounts, and he creates a charmed story with continual reinventions. While it’s tough for any single person to emblematize a generation, Candlelight in a Storm is an accomplished tribute to Renate’s confidence, luck, perseverance, and spirit. Clarion Review

Effectively portrays the hardships of life shows how the sustained love of two people can surmount any adversity blueink Review

Much more than the history of one individual; it is a window to the struggles ordinary Germans faced during the Cold War years. An excellent account as a chronicle of Cold War Germany, Sridhars well-written and informative narrative sheds new light on the often underreported trials of its citizens and foreign residents. Recommended by the US Review of Books

www.naveensridhar.com

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Aug 19, 2015
• ISBN: 9781504944540

Naveen Sridhar

Naveen Sridhar is a scientist and an author living in Germany. He has a Ph.D. in chemistry and chemical engineering. In his career as a research scientist in the German industry he has published a vast number of scientific articles. Beside his profession he was also active in the field of entertainment and authored in 2011 the book A Complete Guide to Ventriloquism: Principles, Practice and Performance. Born in India, he migrated to Germany at an early age for studies at the Technical University of Berlin. Widely travelled, he is fluent in eight languages. He lives with his wife in Germany. They have two grown sons.

Book preview

© 2015 Naveen Sridhar. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

DISCLAIMER

Persons concerned have given approval to mention them and their relatives in the text. All other names have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

Published by AuthorHouse 03/16/2018

ISBN: 978-1-5049-4453-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5049-4452-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5049-4454-0 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

REVIEWS AND TESTIMONY

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER I: EXODUS

CHAPTER II: THE REFUGE

CHAPTER III: FORCES OF DARKNESS

CHAPTER IV: ESCAPE

CHAPTER V: THE QUEST

CHAPTER VI: SNAKES AND LADDERS

CHAPTER VII: IN THE LIME LIGHT

CHAPTER VIII: BORN AGAIN

EPILOGUE

GLOSSARY

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

REVIEWS AND TESTIMONY

But, right now, this was a moment of leaving all that was dear to her, a moment to close the door. To move, to escape, to flee.

Renate was only three when the bombs began to drop in Berlin, shattering houses and lives as the Allies worked to bring Nazi Germany to its knees. Her mother Erika, realizing that the time to leave had final come, bundled up her two children and fled to the town of Apolda. This would be the first of many such significant moves in the young girl’s life. Eventually, World War II ended, but another more subtle war would soon begin between the capitalist West and the former all to the East, a conflict that would help shape much of the young girl’s future.

Sridhar’s biography of his wife, Renate, is much more than the history of one individual; it is a window in to the struggles ordinary Germans faced during the Cold War years. Education, for example, was not a simple matter. Because her father had been a member of the National Socialist German Worker’ Party during World War II, Renate, now living in East Germany was denied the right to go to school after the eighth grade. This led her to flee to West Berlin for her schooling, the start of an exodus that her whole family later made. But even in the West, life still had its challenges, as evidenced by her battle to remain with her Indian husband in her homeland in a time period when a woman’s rights were not as recognized as they are now.

As a biography, the author’s book is an excellent account of his wife and her many adventures. But as a chronicle of Cold War Germany, Sridhar’s well-written and informative narrative sheds new light on the often underreported trials of its citizens and foreign residents.

– Recommended by the US Review

Author Naveen Sridhar has written a literary love story in Candlelight in a Storm which is partial memoir, partial biography. Sridhar’s connection with the subject of the story, his wife Renate, gives a unique … perspective about growing up in Germany during WWII and allows the readers a realistic perspective of what life was like behind the Berlin Wall, While most books about this time period focus on Allied soldiers and their families or the Holocaust, this book focuses on how the German people also suffered during this pivotal and haunting time.

Mot historical books and novels focus on the heroes and daring exploits of famous characters. Yet, what are daily living conditions of regular men and women? Their stories are seldom heard. While reading an exciting spy or political thriller is always a good time, there are few novels which detail what happened to those who weren’t famous or didn’t get a medal. This novel details what life was like for ordinary Germans living under the rule of governmental policies and ideologies in which many could not be trusted nor believed in. What do regular people do in such extraordinary time as these? They can go on living as they always have, and their tales become as inspirational as those of traditional war heroes.

The story begins with a young mother whose husband has been deployed and is serving in the armed forces. She wants to stay in her home with her children and wait for his return, but simply can’t put off any longer the reality he probably isn’t returning. Renate and her family endure each challenge which came their way and their example is truly inspirational. Life on either side of the Berlin Wall was lived just as those who survived in the occupied territories –- a constant fear of potential bombings, food rationings, daily sacrifices and feelings of disconnection with the rest of the world. This shoot on sight mentality created a civil war along with a prison for those citizens living within the walls.

What I especially loved about the story was the glimpse this gave into the unsung heroes - the wives and mothers who silently endured the pain and heartbreak of missing loved ones while keeping their country running. Candlelight in A Storm showed very clearly what happens to families with the realities of lives shaped by war. Sridhar’s depiction makes the heartbreak and confusion of saying goodbye to husbands and fathers who will never come back so real. It’s hard to imagine a loved one simply never being heard from again and watching the examples of this family pick up the pieces and resume some semblance of a life was agonizing.

Another fascinating part of the book was looking at the difficulties citizens faced when traveling between East and West Berlin. Seeing how the country was divided because of a border wall and making enemies out of former neighbors really resonated and both topics made instant connections with today’s news headlines. White it seems as if history is stiff and cobwebbed, a careful look will show that modern people deal with those same issues. The lessons of diversity and acceptance, so new to us today, were also challenges for the characters during this time period. A modern reader will have lot to consider and much to learn from Renate’s examples. At the end of the day, indeed, we are all Berliners. – Pacific Book Review

In a time of war, chaos, and oppression, a gutsy young girl learns to survive, in this international saga penned by an admiring husband….

CANDLELIGHT IN A STORM – BORN TO BE A BERLINER is a unique, spellbinding biography in which Sridhar’s paean to his courageous wife is interwoven with a scholarly work of nonfiction complete with endnotes, making connections between the lives of Renate and Naveen and events on the world stage, both in Germany and India. Sridhar accomplishes this task in a capable manner that manages to be erudite without being overbearing. Both family members and dedicated students of the human story of Berlin from the fall of Nazism, to the era of the Wall, to the present day, will find Sridhar’s writing both charming and elucidating.

CANDLELIGHT IN A STORM deftly mixes family memories with a readable historical reference. – IndieReader

This touching, optimistic account of one family’s experiences in postwar Germany enlivens a scantly explored period in history.

Candlelight in a Storm by Naveen Sridhar is the lucid biographical account of a German family from the Second World War to the end of the century. This careful portrait of a lesser-known story—that of Germans who fled life under East Germany for West Berlin—focuses most on the author’s wife, Renate. She is a woman with an adventurous, resilient nature. Renate’s optimism and conviction that events will work themselves out breathe life into a series of travels and everyday events. Renate’s father, like many Germans, joined the Nazi party in its early days, before the extent of the party’s crimes could be known. He was lost at the front, leaving Renate’s mother, Erika, to care for their children. Under these strained circumstances, the family journeyed from East to West Berlin. Candlelight in a Storm skillfully stitches together the facts of those years with memories, allowing Renate’s life to move alongside history.

When cultural figures, such as Harry Belafonte and Marlene Dietrich, and political moments, such as the raising of the Berlin Wall and a 1963 visit by President Kennedy to Berlin, intersect with Renate’s days, the period is richly enlivened. Smaller moments, however, exemplify her experiences: a neighbor tasked with denouncing others turns a blind eye at the right time; currency exchanges between the East and West turn out in Renate’s favor; and an impassioned discussion with her brother, Dieter, spurs him to flee East Berlin. Seemingly commonplace details offer a singular glimpse at the Cold War and its aftermath. At times the focus shifts from the complexities of living under a restrictive regime to Renate’s engagement and marriage to Naveen—who, in one memorable instance, takes the reins of the story in a first-person account of meeting her family—but such interludes add warmth to the loosely chronological telling.

Other noteworthy moments feature Renate’s first six-week excursion to Naveen’s home in Bangalore; the trip highlights her spontaneity and broadens the work to include influential experiences outside of Germany’s borders. Sub-themes on belonging and displacement emerge through a quotation on the bitterness of the Berlin Wall, as well as through passing remarks. Still, the book avoids bleakness. Sridhar has a talent for highlighting the good in these accounts, and he creates a charmed story with continual reinventions. While it’s tough for any single person to emblematize a generation, Candlelight in a Storm is an accomplished tribute to Renate’s confidence, luck, perseverance, and spirit. – Karen Rigby, Clarion Review

This memoir/biography shows what happens when cultures and political systems grate and clash against one another, as an Indian-born husband examines the course of his marriage by exploring the biography of his German wife.

Born during World War II in Berlin, Renate spends her childhood battling for an education against the barriers placed in her way by the police state that was East Germany. After manipulating her way to West Berlin, she meets and falls in love with the author, who had recently immigrated to Germany, then travels to India to introduce herself to his relatives and returns to Germany, marriage and family life….

A description of the couple’s travels through East Germany during the Cold War, the aftermath of a near fatal automobile accident, and frequent bureaucratic impediments stand out. Most memorable, though, are insights into the compromises any couple must make to survive as one, including the author's recasting of the family (after the two sons complete dance training) as a traveling magic act…. the volume effectively portrays the hardships of life in Germany, both East and West, during the Cold War. Most of all, it shows how the sustained love of two people can surmount any adversity imposed by society and its institutions. – blueink Review

Candlelight in a Storm by Naveen Sridhar is the historical biography of his wife. Born during World War II and fleeing the violence there, later fleeing communist regimes as a teenager, and traveling the world, meeting her husband in Berlin, her story is at once colorful and harrowing. John F. Kennedy came to Germany and said Ich bin ein Berliner, signifying that Germany did not need to be forever tarnished with the legacy of the Nazi party, and there was a generation of Germans looking to establish peace and freedom in the country.Candlelight in a Storm is the ode to this generation.

There are a lot of books written about World War II, and, understandably, most are written from the perspective of the heroes or the victims of Nazi Germany. There are far fewer books written from the German perspective, who were often victims themselves, even if they were on the side of the aggressor. It was not the choice of every German for Hitler’s Germany to unfold as it did; they were at the mercy of their leaders. Candlelight in a Storm aims to fill in the gaps of this time in world history.

This is sensitive territory, because a figure like Hitler is not only portrayed as evil, but as a leader looking to protect his people. That his people fell under a very narrow criteria is what makes him a monster, but for those who were not cast out or murdered by the regime, they have a different perspective. In a war film, we cheer when the allies are winning. This is not really the feeling for anyone inside Berlin. In short, both sides of a war suffer deeply, no matter if there are good guys and bad guys. This is a core premise of Candlelight and it’s an important one.

Because of Sridhar’s respect and affection for his wife, he express her struggles with great empathy and warmth. Self-published historical memoirs can, at times, seem like a vanity project, i.e. something for the family to read, but less interesting for the casual, unaffiliated reader. Sridhar doesn’t fall into this trap due to the strength of his writing and the thoroughness of his research. As he makes clear in his introduction, he interviewed many people to prepare this book, so this is far more than a family history, it’s a history of an entire generation….

Sridhar is admirably effective in depicting the bigger picture. He is clearly passionate about his subject: not just his wife’s history, but the way Germany has been tarnished as the enemy, when its culture is much more forward-thinking and diverse.

For anyone thinking of writing this sort of family biography, this is a textbook in how to do it: combine objective overview with subjective experience. It helps that Sridhar’s writing is so stylistically rich. The narrative manages to be both detailed and breezy, with enough dialog to make it really come to life, rather than being a turgid, fact-driven history. At times, the book reads like fiction, but doesn’t veer into territory where it seems patently made up and loses some of its historical weight.

If you are interested in World War II and haven’t gotten the other side of the story, Candlelight in a Storm is a good place to begin and succeeds in telling an oft-neglected side of the history of these events.

– Henry Baum, SPR Review

Let me have the liberty to start it with a quote from the book:

There are events in one’s life that one would like to forget the very next day but will linger and haunt the life for decades. pp 185.

I would further my steps even more and would change the ‘decades’ to life! And it happens! Coming back to the book, I got this beautiful pile of memoirs in the form of a book Candlelight in a Storm from a very remarkable scientist (and now author as well) Naveen Sridhar from Germany, who, by this time, happens to be a good friend of mine. This is novel, no doubt; however, once you start reading it, it feels like you are taking out the different layers of shrouds and something is about to come. It is about the life of a woman, another woman, a man, another man and eventually every person who had ‘tough times’ during the aftermath of Nazi regime and thereafter. However, rightly sums up the author himself in the preface:

The protagonist in this story is representative of all those, past and present, affected by difficult days at a young age.

Once you begin the book, you feel with the flow; you suffer when the people in book suffer and you rejoice even with their smallest scale of satisfaction… That is why you connect with the pages as you move on. In a fiction, you might feel the thrill about what happens next. However, that thrill is limited in your conscious as you know things are in the hands of the lord on this land – the author. But in the case of Candlelight in a storm, you are genuinely engaged to know what might come next; you know very soon that the author is narrating something that really happened.

To cut the book short, it starts with exodus and ends with a rebirth. The story of a woman that eventually is shared with her daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren. It is justified in the story why the author has subtitled it ‘Born to be a Berliner’. Some parts are there in the book that I must share with you. On page no. 155, the event that features a ‘dressed-up foreigner in company of a blond doll’ is something that strikes me. It openly attacks the ‘sheep walk’ mind-set of people who cannot trust a person even if it’s the question of a life! However, how much have we contributed to win this distrust of people? It compelled me to think! Another interesting feature that the book owns is its naming of the sub-chapters. For instance, you will go through the chapter named ‘man proposes’ and very next you will see ‘god disposes’! It keeps the humor of the book alive. I would like to hail Naveen to present very beautifully a foreigner’s account of visiting India. The experience and a way to present that experience:

I never thought I would live long enough to have such a fantastic experience [visiting India].

And at last, I would also like to sum up the book with:

She had lived all her life within a radius of some 500 miles, but she had lived through all kinds of regimes and authorities. Born in Kaiser’s empire, she had seen its dissolution, the failed Weimar republic followed by the ravages of Hitler’s Reich, then fleeting to the East, she had caught up in the American occupied zone, succeeded by the Soviet occupation and had to witness the ascent or descent of the German Democratic Republic. Back in West Berlin, she lived in an occupied zone of three Allies. Her last years she had spent in the free State of Bavaria, a part of the West German Republic, and ultimately of united Germany. Wow! pp 226.

The bottom line is, indeed, if you interest in Post-World War II, you will get the insights about conditions of India, Germany and the UK! Get a copy and have a pleasant reading of the true events peered with a beautiful narrative by Naveen. –- Alok Mishra, Ashvamegh International Journal of English Literature, Issue XII: January 2016

A must-read for those interested in Germany, the UK, and India post-Wordld War Two. A fascinating, well-written book by an author who was there. – Dan Poynter, Author of the Self-Publishing Manual

To my late mother-in-law

Erika Marie Helmtrud Dora Behnke

(née Wenck)

And the post-war generation

INTRODUCTION

THIS IS THE story of a girl who was born in wartime and grew up in postwar Germany, in the aftermath of the Nazi regime; a family on the run, with the added burden of a father lost at the front.

Recorded history is concerned primarily with the deeds of monarchs and tyrants, be it for want of information or presumed interest in past glory and glamor. Ignored is the plight of the victim: the common man, woman, and their child. The attention is on their ruler, often their gravedigger. Moreover, what such a war-torn generation strove for and achieved was the cause of the ensuing recovery of the nation, as of post-war Japan or Germany. As a humble compensation, it is worth considering eyewitness accounts of individuals thrown into a storm created by other, self-proclaimed leaders and their entourage.

In Germany, there was a cultivated refusal to admit by one and all that the people suffered after the war, even the children. No doubt, in the background of the incomparable tragedy of the holocaust, the conviction persisted that the vanquished had a collective sin and a collective punishment to share, also by the next generation, or by extension, also their progeny forever and ever.

An overt mention of wartime suffering was a taboo, even the indiscriminate bombings of their large cities like Danzig and Hamburg beside Berlin, with the sole purpose of annihilating civilians.

In general, only authors of novels and movie directors may be expected to have a heart for these unsung victims, the unseen protagonists and their untold stories, while other bystanders ignore their laughs and cries, their smiles and sighs. However, W.G.Sebald pointed out in his lectures, On the Natural History of Destruction, ¹ that even such a mass destruction hardly offered basis for the author in Germany to stir his pen. He mentions only two novels pertaining to this subject, one by Peter de Mendelssohn and another by Heinrich Böll, both written in the 1940’s, but published only in the 1980’s.

These thoughts had served me as a background before I set out to write a biography of a person who grew up and lived in these times in nations born soon after her, and stayed on in Germany all the way to its reunification and beyond.

Whereas the stage was a given, what had to be told was how the person fared. Any life story remains unique by nature, as much as a person and the times. No doubt, this story also remains unique. However, the essence of this life story cannot be restricted to encounters, events, and experiences in a time of fatherless children and single mothers. The protagonist in this story is representative of all those, past and present, affected by difficult days at a young age. Therefore, I would like the reader to look upon this work from both perspectives and appreciate it both as a unique case and as a representative case study. Any person, even only with familial and personal problems, and not in the midst of political chaos, develops qualities, if not already endowed with them, to struggle, fight back, and survive, casting off all misgivings and self-doubt in the process. As a result, if this story also helps readers to refer to their own lives, ponder over his or her struggle in conflicts, suggesting parallels or contrasts, I would have accomplished my goal.

A further intention of writing this book was plainly to tell it like it was, to describe and record features of her lifetime, for the benefit of future generations, which may like to know about the times of their ancestor, what mattered to her and her contemporaries. This story may be of interest also to others who are only interested in the birth and growth of modern Germany, not as recorded, but as personally lived through and felt.

The events and their chronology were laid out and were not at my whim and fancy. This being non-fiction, there was no room for invention. Any non-fiction work especially that of a life story, is implicitly a promise to the readers, a tacit contract, to relate the truth and only the truth. All encounters, locations, and events described have to be true and not subject to any distortion, exaggeration, or alteration. There are a few instances of dubious practice by authors who presented fiction as true life stories just to get publicity and appearances on TV shows. Marjorie Garber of Harvard University describes instances in her eminent work, The Use and Abuse of Literature.² The stories were invented or dressed up, with the holocaust as a backdrop for effect.

In contrast to an autobiography, a biography can only be secondhand. In my case, I had the advantage of not attempting to construe the life of a person of the past. I was not sifting through forgotten letters and forsaken notes or deciphering dusty and dog-eared documents. I met most of the persons described in this biography not only for interviews, but also casually as opportunities arose. I have described them as I knew them.

This is the life story of my own wife. In general, I could stick to her version, at times only to be confirmed, complemented, or corrected by others who could remember better; where her childhood memory became spotty, I had to fill in with the versions of others, of her brother Dieter Behnke, who is four years older than her, and of their late mother Erika Behnke. A few years ago I visited Apolda along with Dieter and Renate. We are all very thankful to Rüdiger Eisenbrand, the mayor of the city who warmly received and welcomed us. At his behest, we received substantial support from the archive of the city. With the help of mother Erika’s cousin, Renate Müller, living in Apolda, we were lucky to visit the apartment at Schillerstraße in which Dieter and Renate had lived. The resident young lady was thrilled at our visit. I am equally indebted to the Verband bi-nationaler Familien und Partnerschaften (Association of bi-national families and partnerships), especially to Michaela Schmitt-Reiners (Manager Northrhine-Westphalia), Maria Ringler (in charge of inter-cultural affairs) and to Renate Michaud-Rustein, one of the first members, for providing me with background information. Jan Beukenberg’s timely effort led me to complete the work with the report about Renate’s father as epilogue. I would like to express my thanks for his personal contribution.

My life in Germany since 1960 could help me only to relate to the events I could witness from then on. Having not lived there in the immediate postwar period, I had to be content with the role of a reporter arriving too late at the scene of events. On a temporal basis, I was only an aloof bystander, as a man standing ashore and watching his loved ones swim, drift, or drown.

As in making a film, I tried to focus on the subject with three different lenses for the camera: telescopic, standard, and wide angle. With the first lens, I could look at the personal experiences, challenges, circumstances, and events pertaining to the protagonist. With a standard lens, I could see all these details in relation to her contemporaries, in comparable situations, and sharing her fate, how they suffered, struggled, and fared. In the wideangle view, I attempted to capture the broader picture of the location and time, the place and era as a whole, whose pawns the individuals were destined to be. As for the times, to stay with the analogy of optics, I tried to view a whole century with a time telescope. The farther the time, the less sharp became the image, especially in that period that the younger generations are used to visualizing only in black and white.

This constant exercise in movement over time and space made me aware of the timeless nature of a life story. In a way, every person is caught up in a time loop of conflicts and struggle as one lesson leads to another. The whole process becomes progressive but helical, comparable with climbing a spiral staircase. The repetition of the causal cycles of conflicts and their resolution appear to be interminable. Consequently, as I proceeded with the book, it dawned on me that this work will have an end, but cannot have closure. Let me quote Marjorie Garber,³

…however deeply rooted in a particular period a particular work may be, it is always being read in ‘the present’, a shifting concept that is itself open, never closed. Inasmuch as the elements of such a story will reappear in the lives of others in one fashion or another, the story will remain ever present and endless in substance. A story may come to a close, life may come to a close, but not the essence of a life story.

So far, I have been an announcer, but now, dear reader, as a narrator, let me