Beauty for Ashes: an Autobiography

By Elizabeth F. Watson

The story begins with Elizabeth F. Watson at age twenty-six and goes on until her present age of fifty-six. Beauty for Ashes: An Autobiography depicts several occurrences in her life from an unplanned pregnancy to her subsequent marriage and children to the death of her husband, all while overcoming bipolar disorder through prayer, medication, and counseling.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Oct 2, 2015
• ISBN: 9781512712629

Elizabeth F. Watson

Elizabeth F. Watson is well-acquainted with the ups and downs of making choices in life that have defined who she is as a Christian and as an someone who can overcome trials. Throughout her life, she has struggled and prevailed over a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, a condition in which she has consistently battled depression.

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Copyright © 2015 Elizabeth F. Watson.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

ISBN: 978-1-5127-1261-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-1263-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-1262-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015915140

WestBow Press rev. date: 10/2/2015

Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Epilogue

This book is lovingly dedicated to my sons.

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Chapter One

I t was a hot, sweltering summer’s day that August of 1985, the perfect condition to match the uncomfortable turmoil raging in my soul. The five minutes it took to see the results of my pregnancy test only added to my frustration. I was more than six weeks late and I had a pretty good idea what was in store for me. However, standing there at the free clinic in the small town I was from only made the anticipation worse. Finally, one of the volunteers came out with news that would define my life in a way I could not describe.

You’re test came back positive, she said matter-of-factly. My shaking knees buckled underneath me, sending me down to the floor and into the dark abyss waiting for me there. My friend caught hold of my elbows, thus breaking my fall but not the shock that raged through my body and mind. Pregnant? I asked, knowing full well that it was true. How could it not be, considering my destructive behavior over the past summer. I was still in a state of shock when I heard someone say, It’s time for you to start thinking about getting some good prenatal care, at which my only response was a nervous giggle.

Now what do I do? I thought as my friend and I slowly left the parking lot of the free clinic. This somehow expected news meant that I would not be returning to Bible College next month. Because of this turn of events, I did not plan ahead; but somewhere along the way I knew I wouldn’t be going back. I had slipped so far away from God I didn’t know if I would ever find my way back. It was as if I could hear God telling me as He hit me upside the head with a 2 x 4, Are you going to serve me or not? I didn’t have an answer; all I knew was I was traveling down a road I knew I could never turn back up again. I decided how I wanted to live my life, and now I was paying dearly the consequences of my actions.

The rest of the day I spent in a mental and emotional fog so dense you could cut a knife right through it. My friend was very supportive when I had to tell the family I was living with that I’m expecting a baby in the spring. I had agreed to rent their basement for a nominal fee in exchange for helping with their yard and some house work. But because of this impending crisis happening in my life, I told them I would be moving out the next week. I had a boyfriend at the time and he said I could move in with him, so I did. I honestly felt like that would be my best option, even though God had other plans for me.

To say my dad was angry when I gave him my news was a complete understatement. He read me the riot act, which I totally expected, but was still unprepared for. I have no idea how my mom reacted, though I imagine some tears were shed. My dad and I left the conversation on a pretty strained note, with both me and my parents wondering what I was going to do next. The next morning my dad called me back to tell me he had spent half the night wondering where he went wrong but decided that he wasn’t to blame for my irresponsibility, but I was. However, he did tell me that whatever I decided he and my mom would support me through the next eight months of my life. I had a miniscule sense of relief when he told me that and my hope became somewhat ignited at his words. One thing I can say about my parents at that time in my life is they showed me the love and forgiveness of God I knew I desperately needed.

The next few weeks I spent just hanging out with my boyfriend, living in sin as my dad so eloquently put it. I knew deep down it wasn’t right but then I thought I had fallen to the depths of depravity, one more thing isn’t going to make a difference. I had quit my job so I was basically unemployed and not really having a home of my own, so I had no direction as to which way to go or what to do. But after a short while, I realized I was going to need the support of an outside organization to help me through the pregnancy. There was no place like that where I was so, after some thinking, I decided to move to about 45 miles north of where I was. I had found a job as a live-in nanny for a young boy and girl whose parents were going through a divorce. The father had custody of them so he needed someone there for them while he was getting his martial arts business off the ground. After I started my position with him, I came into contact with a crisis pregnancy center. I was matched with a counselor who gave me things to think about and had some very encouraging words for me. The center also provided me with maternity clothes and other necessary items I needed to meet the needs in my life at the time. Without the center, I would not have received the help and hope I needed during my hour of need. It was a Christian run program and that fact got me well on my way to making it back to God, but I still had a long way to go.

The living/working situation I found myself in was not working out as I had hoped. I needed a job where I could be around people and needed to have Sunday’s off so I could attend church and fellowship. Consequently, I turned in my two week notice to the dad of the kids I was taking care of. He accepted my resignation with little problem but then I found myself with no job and no place to live. So I did the only thing I thought I could do: I went back to the pregnancy center to ask them to help me find a place to live, as that is one of their services. Shortly after I gave my two week notice I was introduced to one of the center’s volunteer families who open up their home to pregnant young women who have no place to go. I moved in with them in the month of October, and my relationship with God became even stronger as I started attending church with them. It was a good situation all the way around.

I was still communicating with my boyfriend through letters when one day I felt it was time to let him know that the only way we could stay together was if he became a Christian. I explained the plan of salvation to him, told him how much Jesus loves him, and He’s just waiting for my boyfriend to welcome Him into His heart. It wasn’t too much later that my boyfriend decided that kind of life wasn’t for him and he wrote me a very angry letter, breaking it off once and for all. Looking back, I see God’s hand in every decision I had to make and in everything I did.

During the time I was living with this family, the Lord blessed me with a job at a department