Habit of Despair

By Robert Barclay

This romance is cast in the turbulent times of Ferdinand and Isabella in the early years of their reign. As the two young monarchs struggle to curb the nobility, reform the church, and reconcile the minorities, the king and queen are beset with special interests, rampant corruption, and political forces that resist the changes that will soon make Spain the premier power in Europe.
In the context of this changing world, Ricardo DQuintillion and his sister, Maria, struggle to support their monarchs while dealing with the passions and intrigue that beset their lives and threaten to bring ruin down upon them.
Ricardo, newly appointed to lead the Hermandad, a top civil-military post, is given responsibility for maintaining law and order and bringing the lawless aristocracy under control.
Maria is left to run the estate but soon finds herself masquerading to find her brothers estranged fiance. She stumbles onto a secret religious order seeking to establish the Inquisition.
As the siblings struggle to serve, their strong passions create stumbling blocks that impede them from accomplishing their goals.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Nov 23, 2015
• ISBN: 9781514424353

Robert Barclay

After graduating from Colgate University with a B.A. in economics and a minor in art history, Robert Barclay enjoyed a successful career in business, also serving as chairman of his industry-related consulting group. After selling his business, he devoted his time to writing. His previous novels include If Wishes Were Horses and More Than Words Can Say. He lives with his wife in Florida.

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

Fiasco in the Garden

When Teresa got the note from Maria she was so excited.

Don Ricardo is home! Don Ricardo is home! Imagine after a year, Don Ricardo is home!

She had been in love with him as long as she could remember. He was her hero, her knight in shining armor. When he spoke in that gentle voice, it sent a thrill through her body. It was all she could do to keep from blushing and sometimes wanted to smother him with kisses, not that she’d dare, but what if he were to ask? What was she to do then? Or worse yet, what if he were to insist? Would she ever be able to say no? Well perhaps this was the day for finding out, for letting him sweep her into his arms. She was eighteen and he was twenty-three. Was it not the perfect age for two so well suited? Her heart pounded in anticipation.

In the past year their correspondence had become more frequent. With each letter came an outpouring and yes, a growing heat to his sentiments. She picked up his latest billet and read again words she could easily recite –many is the night I recollect your smile, and wish I could speak in person, the intentions of my heart.

Were these not her exact feelings? Are these not the same emotions I feel with every heartbeat? She took the letter and clasping it to her chest, set off for the estate of her beloved.

****

Upon arriving home Don Ricardo was greeted in the courtyard by his sister Maria and friends and well-wishers. He looked about hoping to see Teresa but she was nowhere about. He did however, see Angelina jumping up and down and waving enthusiastically. In the press of handshakes and embraces he soon felt her scented breasts against his chest. Angelina was a distant cousin who was closer than he dared to admit. She was the embodiment of the type of woman men dream about and her touch sent a shiver of anticipation racing through his veins.

It was this same girl who had introduced him to the mysteries of love, coaxing him patiently through all the delightful variations. He felt an unwelcome heat. The passion he’d hope to reserve for Teresa stirred inside of his pantaloons.

If I go in the house, he thought to himself, Angelina will take me aside and bend me to her will. Better that I remain out of doors.

So, he walked with his sister, hoping to be distracted from his need and catch up on all the news. As hostess, however, Maria was soon drawn by her duties and begged excuse, returning to the hacienda.

At the first opportunity Ricardo broke away from the guests, slipping behind a hedge at the corner of their garden. Thinking he was unobserved he breathed deeply the scents of early summer. A water course flowed amid the tall grasses. A path meandered to a planked bridge that crossed a brook. On the other side was a manger with a trellised arch that hung heavy with the buds of small white roses.

Ricardo, spoke a voice softy from behind. I was hoping to find you alone.

He knew without turning that he was lost. With a sigh he looked over his shoulder as Angelina wrapped her arms around him. She began kissing the back of his neck and would have left her mark had he not turned about. As he did she arose on her tiptoes. Their lips met and her tongue darted inside.

This is wrong, Angelina. You’re married now and I’m promised to another.

Promises, promises, she answered, What of the promises you once made to me?

She pressed closer, snuggling into his chest. One arm held his waist and her free hand dropped low, massaging that most sensitive of a man’s parts.

Have you no honor? he asked, breaking free once more.

I gave it all to you, Ricardo.

This goes nowhere; there’s no hope for us.

Please! she implored, We still have the moment. Hurry, before my husband awakens and begins to question my whereabouts!"

Ricardo groaned. He’d never been able to resist this woman and his will power began to crumble. She began untying her bodice.

Wait! he said, still hoping to reverse the tide.

The badges of her womanhood spilled obscenely into view.

Remember these? she inquired, offering them up for inspection. The nipples perked, like nubs of soft brown leather. It was already growing hot and sweat rolled down her cleavage.

You don’t have to go through with this, he thought to himself.

The smell of her unwashed body was redeemed by the light scent of perfume. It lingered in the air and made her temptation irresistible. She stepped up inviting the nurture of her breasts.

What are you doing, cried the outraged voice of his conscience?

Pull down! she said impatiently, Show me your manliness. Her fingers reached out tugging eagerly at his britches. Hurry! she exhorted.

Without hesitation, Ricardo began to unloosen the laces. He pulled them apart at the seam and slid the fabric down about his hips.

Yes! she said putting her hands down on the ground and squatting back on the rushes.

Stepping out at the ankles, he straddled her, brandishing his endowment back and forth. Is this what you’re looking for?

Of course, she continued, and I give you my cup in return. Angelina smiled coyly, watching Ricardo’s expression as she slowly began pulling up on the hem of her dress. When the fabric exposed her thighs she splayed her knees exposing temptation to the full light of day.

His jaw dropped at the sight of her wantonness gaping wide before him.

She giggled pointing into the opening. Ready to poke it inside?

Ricardo nodded in affirmation, his face contorted by a fierce and determined look.

Then come my Stallion, she implored reaching up.

He knelt, nudging her legs apart. Her hand reached out for it as she positioned her buttocks.

And what would your husband think if he could see us now?

"When he awakens from siesta, you’ll have to ask him.

He scooted closer feeling the bristle of her pubic hairs. His erection searched about for the opening.

She took the girth and began tugging insistently, guiding his entry.

Why do I suffer this woman, he asked himself?

In answer he entered the moist folds, moving in fits and starts, ever deeper inside.

He treats me like a whore and I allow it, she chided herself, lifting her buttocks and coaxing him to length. Eagerly it wormed deeper with a hard and invasive presence.

Why are you always so cruel? she asked.

Because what we do is shameful.

Come now Ricardo, you love this as much as I do.

He began working in and out as she followed his lead. The memories of a once familiar intercourse awakened and resumed their practiced rhythm. With each surge she responded, arching her back and squeezing her sphincter. He moaned.

And I missed you too, she responded.

How many times must I tell you that it’s over between us?

Why do you wait for now to remind me, she snapped back, or is this just another one of your cowardly adventures, like the one you left me to face alone?

He recoiled. The memory made him cringe in self-loathing.

I’m sorry, so very sorry! he answered, picking up the stroke.

Slow down, she snapped. Will you leave me once more unfulfilled?

Why are you so certain it was me? Why am I the sole focus of your suspicions?

Such a convenient and vile question. Since you weren’t listening the last time, I’ll repeat myself. A woman always knows!

How do I argue with that?

You don’t. A gentleman accepts a lady’s word and you’re no gentleman.

Back and forth, they bantered as the heat of their lovemaking continued.

What do you want from me? he demanded.

What I wanted you already disdained. When I begged matrimony, you brushed me aside like an embarrassment, leaving me to cast about, in my delicate condition, taking my shredded honor into a loveless marriage.

There are others you could blame. Why did you single me out for torment?

She laughed bitterly as their lovemaking grew ever more intense. She remembered once more the suffering caused by his cruel insinuations and reveled in punishing this man she’d once loved. There was a perverse delight in mixing the pleasure of their sex with all the pain he had visited upon her heart.

Believe what you will. Rodrigo is your son.

His face was grim and the veins stood out on his forehead.

If you don’t control yourself, she warned, you’ll have a seizure, just like my husband.

He cursed his weakness and paused, watching as she lathered her mood in dark and oily recollections. Her wanton eyes looked right through him with that distant and bedroom look. She resumed hunching up and down.

I think it’s time to consummate this unholy union, He said sarcastically.

Her gaze was distant and far away.

With a cruel thrust, Ricardo pushed to the limits of her flesh.

Angelina moaned, followed by a long sigh.

Ready to get it over with?

Not yet, she pleaded, wait for me.

In languid harmony they moved together, coaxing the sparks of a lukewarm passion into glowing embers of desire. The tempo built as their intercourse became more fevered. In and out they jerked in the ruts of passion, grunting and groaning like two barn yard animals.

Why can’t you just let me go?

Because I hate you! Her eyes glowered. Go ahead and enjoy your fun, but be warned that my moon waxes and the noonday sun heralds your timely arrival.

His heart skipped a beat. Were these prophetic words or just more of the same old loathing? Was this her fertile time of the month or more of the same old spite?

A distant trumpet blared in his loins. Mindless to consequence, Ricardo continued to hunch, a slave to nature, beating the eternal drum.

Slowly Angelina began to feel the promise of surcease. An urgent summons cried out exciting her maternal nature. Excitement built, like a far off and rolling thunder announcing the coming storm. She gripped his buttocks urging him on to greater exertions and a long awaited climax.

Damn you! she said in a rising throes of eagerness. Do it! Do it! Give it to me, all of it.

With a surge he ejaculated, filling her womb with the man-spit of creation.

I’m no more than a piss-pot, she thought surrendering to the onslaught. Her womb exploded with a rush that tingled across every nerve and fiber. Time stood still as the mismatched twain clutched in tortured embrace.

What have I done now? he muttered, as one spasm followed the next.

Forgive me Father, she wept, wallowing in the turgid pleasure.

For long moments they lay spent, breathing hard, still yoked in the flesh.

Then from afar a voice called out. Ricardo, are you there?

Walking up over the bridge a young girl stumbled unexpectedly onto the scene and beheld the two scurrying to hide their nakedness. Her jaw dropped open.

Forgive me for intruding, Teresa managed to blurt, before turning with a sob and fleeing back to the Hacienda.

CHAPTER 2

Dead in the Saddle

Angelina dressed hurriedly. She was worried that Teresa would tell someone what she had seen and there would be a terrible scene with her husband. That her reputation, never in the best of favor, would become subject to a full blown scandal. Once back at the manor house she was relieved that everyone was acting quite normally. Down the stairs came her husband, yawning. He motioned to her.

Come, said the Count, leaning upon his cane, I’ve called the carriage and it’s time for us to go. Bid your friends farewell while I thank our hostess.

As she made the rounds saying goodbye, Angelina looked about for the young girl who had stumbled upon them moments earlier. A friend told her that Teresa had departed a quarter hour ago. The only thing that appeared amiss was the look on Maria’s face. It was both pensive and penetrating.

She suspects something but I don’t think it will be a problem, Angelina concluded. Any scandal would also compromise her brother.

At the top of the stairs she ran into Carlos Trujillo. He looked dashing in his uniform, a handsome young man but one without a title or means. He was one of Ricardo’s friends and an admirer of hers who had always worshiped from afar.

Leaving so soon?

We’re entertaining tonight and I need to check on the preparations.

Sounds exciting, he replied, basking in the attention.

Why don’t you plan on joining us?

I wasn’t invited.

Unruffled, she reached into her tote and took out an envelope. I had no idea you’d be arriving with Don Ricardo, she said, handing it to him.

As she extended her fingers he took the envelope and bowed graciously, deftly kissing the tips.

I wouldn’t miss it for the world, he answered in appreciation.

She let them linger longer than necessary.

I really must be going now. She turned down the steps and in her wake, left a sparkle of devotion shining in his eyes.

Carlos has always had warm sentiments, she thought. In my need I even considered him a candidate. In many ways he would have been a good husband. He comes from a noble family but they are all wretchedly poor. She met her husband at the turn-about. Slightly out of breath he asked, Have you made your farewells?

Yes.

She took his free arm while with the other he leaned heavily on his cane. Together they walked slowly towards the waiting coach. She made a mental note to have a quiet conversation with Teresa, at the earliest opportunity. The Montebello’s had a summer home between their two estates. Teresa’s father was Plugar, the Queen’s secretary and her mother Melina, one of the Ladies in waiting. They were Old Christians who had risen to prominence in the last generation.

The groom opened the door and helped her husband up the steps. How he hated the need for assistance but he could no longer manage alone and was becoming resigned to it. She followed behind, stepping briskly and looked about from the top step. From that vantage point she saw Ricardo strolling towards the Hacienda.

I wonder, she thought wistfully, hand on her stomach? Settling into the seat she smiled at her husband. The Count wrinkled his nose. The carriage jerked into motion as she patted his thigh.

****

It was a lovely evening and the country estate was ablaze with candles and oil lamps. There were over two hundred guests and it was easily the social event of the year. Carlos arrived on horseback and handed the bridle to a groom. He went inside with his invitation and told the doorman his name.

He walked into the ballroom and was met with the sounds of conversation and music. Captain Carlos Trujillo, announced the herald. Strolling alone down the stairs he joined the receiving line. His name proceeded down the cue until at last coming to Angelina.

So glad you could come Captain. Will Teresa and Don Ricardo be joining us as well?

The Commissioner sends his regrets My Lady. He wasn’t feeling well and retired early.

Juan, she said, introducing him to the Count, "This is Carlos Trujillo, the son of Sir George Trujillo, who once served in your militia. He’s a Captain, with Don Ricardo in the Hermandad.

I remember your father well, said the Count with a penetrating stare. I was saddened to hear of his passing.

He always spoke highly of you sir. I’m honored by the invitation.

The Count gave him a hard look and turned dismissively. Enjoy the good company."

I wonder the meaning of that? he thought, continuing over to the banquet table. The young captain was immediately surrounded by several of his friends and began to socialize. He was an elegant dancer and there was no shortage of attractive ladies. From one to the next he danced as the orchestra played until intermission. As he was refreshing his glass Angelina walked up.

You seem to be having a good time. I’m so glad you could join us.

The pleasure is mine, he answered. Is there still room on your card?

I’ve saved the third, she said gaily. So don’t forget! I’ll be very disappointed if you don’t appear.

He could hardly wait as the orchestra resumed and played the first two numbers. In the pause before the next, he stepped forward and Angelina flowed into his arms. Around and around they circled with a grace not lost on the others who shared the floor.

So what really kept Don Ricardo away this evening? she asked.

He assumed she was making polite conversation. As I left he was engaged with his correspondence. Every night he spends several hours writing orders that coordinate the activities of his commanders.

"Such a busy man. I’d have thought he would be here with Teresa. Maria told me she expects