Launching Vee’S Chariot: An End-Of-Life Tale

By Kate Riley

Dying a good death is Vee Rileys final wish, and she believes a good death is a conscious death. In the grip of end-stage cancer, she decides how she will interact with her deteriorating physical condition, while letting go of family and friends, her home, and her independence. For most of her life, Vee pursued a daily spiritual practice that included artwork, writing, meditating, and communing in nature, and she devoted herself to compassionate service enriching the lives of hundreds. Now, at 87, Vee knows the door to life is closing, and she valiantly engages her daughter Kate as her ally. Vees goal is to die at home, but the process is not as straightforward as she envisioned.

Mother and daughter find themselves entering the mystery, where they apply the wisdom of mutually intelligent hearts to overcome each obstacle that threatens to derail them from fulfilling Vees ultimate goal. With fortitude, integrity, and compassion, Kate supports her mom every step of the way home. Vees death is not pretty, but it is enlightening. Her final act takes us through a labyrinth, and the supernova of Vees leave-taking illuminates a way for all who choose to live consciously into death.

This is a conversation so real and engaging you feel like you are right there with this strong and articulate mother-daughter pair as they work together to find their way through to the end. This is a book to read and keep: you will want your family to read it when your time comes, and you will want to read it while caring for one of them. It is a gift, a comfort, and a treasure. Bonnie Vestal, M.D., Pediatric Oncologist and Medical Counselor, retired

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: May 17, 2016
• ISBN: 9781504356534

Kate Riley

Kate Riley is a certified death midwife, minister, educator, advocate, international story consultant, and author. She embarked on her life purpose in the field of death and dying after completing her hospice training in 1988. Kate had no idea at the time where it all would lead. Kate lives in Idaho where she works as a home funeral guide and advocate/liaison for the dying and their families. Connecting with nature helps to renew her spirit, and she lives life passionately, spontaneously. Kate looks forward to traveling to Spain in the near future to visit her son, Sean, and his wife, Karolina.

Book preview

Copyright © 2016 Kate Riley.

Cover art by Kim Howard

Internal design by Jomar S. Evidientes

Author photograph by Manon Gaudreau & Aubrey Stephens

Vee Riley photograph by Holland Huffman Williams

Written permissions granted:

From Die Wise: A Manifesto for Sanity and Soul by Stephen Jenkinson, published by North Atlantic Books, copyright © 2015 by Stephen Jenkinson. Reprinted by permission of publisher.

Vee Riley The Path of Transformation

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

ISBN: 978-1-5043-5652-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-5653-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016906566

Balboa Press rev. date: 05/10/2016

Launching

Vee’s Chariot

An End-of-Life Tale

Kate Riley

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Note to the Reader

In order to preserve anonymity, most of the individual names and places as well as distinguishing details of individuals and settings have been changed. My intention throughout was to convey the truth and essence of everything I witnessed and experienced with the highest integrity. All events are true to the best of my knowledge. Some scenes have been deliberately compressed, especially near the end. It is the living tale of a dying woman told through narrative design. This work is solely intended for personal growth and education.

In loving memory of my parents, Vee & John Riley

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VELMA VEE NADINE RILEY

September 11, 1927-September 7, 2014

The Path of Transformation

Life! Where are you taking me?

I’m stuck in a puddle of pain

seeking the unseen, I do my best

forging ahead with boundless courage.

I take action

reaching, reaching,

climbing, climbing

I raise the bar to a higher level.

Waking from the trance, I feel a shift.

There within is a palace of immense power

…my soul print.

Vee Riley

Contents

Foreword

Preface

Prologue

PART I The Opening

Chapter One Silent Witness

Chapter Two Conscious Dying

Chapter Three Exit Plans

Chapter Four Rising Stardom

Chapter Five Insights on the Edge

Chapter Six The Lioness Roars

Chapter Seven Where Is Dave Barry?

PART II The Deepening

Chapter Eight Many Messengers

Chapter Nine The Eye of God

Chapter Ten The Verdict

Chapter Eleven The Long Debut

PART III The Quickening

Chapter Twelve Plan Vee: On Her Own Terms

Chapter Thirteen Dress Rehearsal

Chapter Fourteen Holiness & The Final Road Trip

Epilogue

A Grateful Heart

About the Author

Foreword

There can be no question that the coming and going of one’s life is a topic that affects us all. One day we arrive here from the ethers of the Divine One and—likewise—one day we shall return to It. Most of us are good with the coming part—it’s the going part that we tend to avoid thinking about. This is a topic that deserves our attention because it is one that every one of us will have an opportunity to experience at some point; it is only a matter of when.

In her book, Launching Vee’s Chariot: An End-of-Life Tale, Kate Riley exquisitely shares her own experience of this sacred sojourn with her mother, Vee. In this true story you will learn that dying a conscious death is perhaps one of the most empowering and beautiful events a human being can ever experience. Read this book and you’ll discover a deeper reserve of inner peace than you have even known.

~ Dr. Dennis Merritt Jones Award winning author of, The Art of Uncertainty - How to Live in the Mystery of Life and Love It, and, Your (Re)Defining Moments - Becoming Who You Were Born to Be

Preface

In the beginning, my father was my champion. Then later, as you will find written among these pages, my mother became my champion. When both were gone from this world, I learned I was the champion of my own universe. This recognition culminated on completion of writing Launching Vee’s Chariot. It was a total surprise, and along with it came great moral reckoning. People warned me about feeling abandoned, an orphan in a strange land. This was not at all the case.

I wrote this book because I had no other choice.

There are people, places, and events that happen in Life. How we choose to deal with our experiences is at the foundation for evolving and maturing into authentic beings. Vee made it to the finish line! While maintaining autonomy, she died on her own terms. This is the unabridged story. The story that begged to be told.

Landing at a crossroad, twenty-eight years ago, I trained with hospice in California. I had no other choice. I found the subject of death and dying intriguing (strange, given I so feared death as a youngster). Over time, I have had the opportunity, and pleasure, to sit with many at this incredibly profound juncture. A few were family members or acquaintances. Most were complete strangers. All taught me something about Life and Death. Albeit, no one shook me at the core like my mother!

For nine months, I was committed. After all, what does a daughter say to her mother after being asked, Kate, will you lean into my dying? Sitting on her bed that day, gazing into my mother’s eyes, I captured everything Vee was made up of – a galaxy of stars, and light, and beauty. Expansion. There was no fear so I had no reason to generate my own. Love traveled on a golden thread between our hearts, and I knew without a doubt I would devote whatever time it took. I had no other choice. This required daily work on behalf of my own soul—hitting the psychological, physical, and emotional levels with a tough, almost feral abandon. A strong, uncompromising will took over. My psyche never let me off the hook. Part of the assignment entailed constant re-examination of my own thoughts, concerns, and fears. I traveled deep into the unknown and did so in a very different light than ever before. Whoever has lost someone very dear knows the challenges that arrive unannounced. There are no detailed road maps. Like many, I stumbled and fell into giant pools of despair and vulnerability, questioned family dynamics, and doubted my ability to continue.

All along, I was re-writing the narrative of my life. This was unconscious at the time. Then, when my mother died, I knew I had to sit down and write about one of the most profound events of my life. I spent hours mining my journals and those of my mother. Often my heart