Escape to America

By Tetsuo Fukuyama

Thirty years ago, Tetsuo Fukuyama was working as a college music instructor and teaching piano to private students. But his depression was becoming so severe he could hardly even play a short piece on the piano, and began entertaining suicidal thoughts. After seeing medical specialists and trying massage, acupuncture, injections, and even psychic consultations, he decided to leave his homeland and experiment with a completely different lifestyle: living in New York City.

In his new setting, the author had to cope with language barriers, getting help from strangers, being robbed at gunpoint, suffering from tuberculosis, and finding work. He feels fortunate to acquire a music teaching position at a private Japanese school, and building a roster of private music students.

Fukuyama decides to see America, and travels to Seattle and San Francisco, the latter city reached after driving cross-country. Amidst new sights, sounds, and friendships, he discovers that his depression has abated and he is able to find joy in everyday life.

This story of how the authors courage, resilience, and determination helped him survive difficult circumstances will encourage readers to find their own happiness.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Partridge Publishing Singapore
• Release date: Jan 30, 2017
• ISBN: 9781482882803

Tetsuo Fukuyama

Tetsuo Fukuyama stayed in the USA from 1989 to 2008. While today it is said that there are many cases of depression in Japan, in the 1980s the author didn’t even know it was depression causing his distress. Since returning to Japan, he has come to miss his life in the US and has organized his experiences into this book that expresses his deep gratitude to the people he met in America.

Book preview

1

Escape from Japan

You are still young.

You can do better than that.

You need more aspirations.

These were the comments I got from my doctors 30 years ago. In my mind it seemed as though they were saying to me You’re not doing what you are supposed to do. In reality, their comments actually made my symptoms even worse. I had severe neck pain, a continuous headache and perpetual fatigue. I lost interest in everything I had had before. I was feeling sheer desperation that these medical specialists in their fields could neither cure me nor tell me what was wrong with me.

The symptoms that started slightly before I graduated from the music academy got worse and worse and the situation never improved during that ten-year period of time. I tried everything to cure it. I had massages, acupuncture and even a variety of electric acupuncture that was said to be more effective. I went to an office of psychosomatic medicine and I also visited a clinic once a week to have eight injections administered into my neck at one time. Finally I was so desperate I consulted with a psychic but it was just a waste of time.

In today’s medical world, the mechanism of depression may be clear, but 30 years ago, even doctors of psychosomatic medicine couldn’t explain what was going on with me. In those days in Japan, there was no understanding or way of curing this kind of illness.

Back then, I was working as a part-time music instructor at two colleges in Fukuoka and Shimonoseki and I also privately taught piano. However, because of this incomprehensible illness, I could hardly play even a short piece on the piano.

I thought,I cannot stand it any more…I might end up committing suicide. I just needed to escape and change everything.

In May of 1989 when I was 33 years old, I decided to leave my homeland and flee to a total change of scenery… America. That kind of endeavor may sound exciting to most people, but as I saw my situation I was looking at nothing but gloominess and apprehension for my future.

This was the reason why I decided to go to the Big Apple…New York City.

2

Landing in the USA

I’m not sure how it started, but some international students from the US at the university whom I met at the bar near my house in Fukuoka began to come over from time to time to watch action and science fiction videos. Using alcohol as a method of escape, I sometimes even went out for a drink with them in order to take my mind off my current troubles. After a while, I was pretty confident about having simple English conversations. Americans love to engage in discussions and I found them eager to listen to me and offer opinions about everyday topics.

However, as soon as I landed at JFK Airport in New York City, the false illusion about my English ability completely collapsed. I couldn’t even understand people’s responses when I asked them how to get to the bus stop for Manhattan. Then I realized that Americans who live in Japan know Japanese people hardly understand English and speak very slowly and loudly to them. In America, however, they think everybody understands English. If you don’t understand what they say you might be regarded as an intellectually handicapped person.

When I finally managed to find the right bus and arrive in Manhattan, I suddenly felt hungry from a sense of relief and walked into a local MacDonald’s. I knew McDonald’s was considered a popular place for teenagers to hang out in Japan. Then I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was surprised to find most of the customers in the restaurant actually seemed to be very old in their seventies and over. I should have realized everything was going to be very different from Japan. Sure enough, when I ordered a hamburger the cashier asked me To stay or to go? which is an expression very commonly used at fast food restaurants in the USA but rarely heard in Japan. As I was momentarily stunned at the question, she said irritably, Don’t you understand English? I still remember how I thought she was so impolite. That kind of manner and level of service would never be tolerating in Japan.

Speaking of being impolite, a few days later, I was shocked at a teller’s attitude when I first went to a bank in Manhattan. She was calling out to the customers Next! more angrily than just curtly -— at least it sounded that way to me. Although Japanese people who just arrive in New York tend to get upset about American’s attitudes toward them, I think the point is it has nothing to do with any kind of racial discrimination or prejudice. At the same time, they aren’t angry or rude. If you live in New York for a while, you’ll not only get used to people’s attitudes but begin to feel sort of comfortable about them. Conversely, in Japan for example, if you go to a department store at its daily opening time, clerks stand in line and greet you by saying Good morning with a very unnatural and artificial smile. After all these years, I personally prefer the American way. I would say everything is a matter of habituation.

3

My Days in Manhattan

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