Time to Converse: At the Heart of Human Warmth

By Dr. Alan Stewart

This book brings to the fore the crucial importance of real conversation and treating each other well, and points out the close relationship this has to the Golden Rule (do as you would be done by), giving many and amusing examples and quotations on how good things happen when we act in this way.
It talks about the various kinds of conversation and the significance of the genuinely friendly, open-ended kind, which has appeared to be in decline. And makes clear that it can give rise to unpredicted good new ideas, while valuing the contributions of all involved in the conversation and boosting everyones sense of well-being.
Many ideas are presented on how to bring about this kind of conversational dance, and ways in which one can begin and continue to notice how this comes into life and how we may act on this at every opportunity.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: May 11, 2013
• ISBN: 9781483633046

Dr. Alan Stewart

I am a professional conversationalist, a social artist with skills as a facilitator of group processes in which participants converse when addressing complex issues. I am guided by the belief that we humans are intelligent, creative and adaptive. And that we express this in circumstances in which we feel included and respected. With a PhD from London University in biological sciences I was a university lecturer in human nutrition. Doing qualitative research on how people construe meaning of food, particularly in social contexts, inspired me to develop a new career as a conversationalist. This has led to much professional satisfaction, extensive travel, encounters with remarkable people and now a desire to make the fruits of my learning more widely available. I live in Adelaide, Australia, having recently returned after being away for six happy years in Asia, based in Hong Kong. I have been a Senior Fulbright Scholar at Stanford University, USA.

Book preview

Copyright © 2013 by Dr. Alan Stewart. 503360-STEW

ISBN: Ebook 978-1-4836-3304-6

All rights reserved. You would no doubt appreciate how much work went into the writing and publishing of this ebook. And that to give it away free or sell it means a loss of hard earned income for me and my associates.

Which is to say that you do not have resale rights to this ebook. Nor may it be reproduced in any format without my expressed written permission.

It is very likely I would give this if you show me your purpose for doing so.

I would add, however, that if you think of someone who would value seeing the book and for whom the cost would be a problem do go ahead and pass it on.

And that while every attempt has been made to verify the information contained in this publication, neither the publisher or I assume any responsibility for errors, omissions, interpretation or usage of the subject matter herein.

Published by: Multimind Solutions

Web: www.multimindsolutions.com

Email: [e-mail]

Tw: @alpalstewart

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-800-618-969

www.xlibris.com.au

[e-mail]

Rev. date: 05/06/2013

National Library of Australia Catalogue-in-Publication entry:

Stewart, Alan, 1940-

Time to converse – at the heart of human warmth

2nd Edition, 2009

ISBN 0 9587210 2 5

To the reader

This book is about conversation, or more particularly, ‘conversing.’ I invite you to come with me to explore where choosing to converse may lead.

For there’s magic, power and mystery here, together with stuff for everyday living, as you may come to appreciate. With often a shared smile and a laugh!

Conversing is the ultimate paradox; it is so much at the core of our existence and yet so little recognised for what it is and how much it plays a part in our whole lives.

What you may come to appreciate is that this reframe on ‘conversation’ - a word you thought you knew – has substantial implications for changing the way that you engage with others around you.

I’m delighted and honoured that you are reading this, the fruits of my collected experience and long labours. Your being present here did not ‘just happen.’ You are very welcome, whoever you are and wherever you live.

My purpose is to draw your attention to clues about bringing conversation to life and into your life. To do this in a manner that makes the important interesting. And to shine illumination on things you may not have considered previously and so may not have seen value in putting into practice.

Here you will find triggers of memory which may help you to recognise how vital it is and to use this insight to find ways to enhance the quality of life for all those for whom you have responsibility. For being talking creatures we get to know and understand each other through making time to converse.

From which we recognise the wisdom – and associated joy - in doing this. And come to have a manner of living filled with curiosity, questioning, learning, growth, playfulness, risk taking, banter …

Pie in the sky? Not at all, as may be revealed in your experiencing of one ‘aha’ after the other from what you read here – and when you bring these insights into how you relate to your colleagues, neighbours, family, friends and anyone else who happens to enter your life, however briefly.

Bearing in mind that the ideas here are offered in this spirit:

Take it or leave it.

I don’t want to sell anything to anyone.

I don’t want to persuade any human being.

I only want to draw attention.

The only thing I want is to draw attention.

Heinz von Foerster

I wish you well as you ‘go to it’ and ‘pay it forward’ – put ideas that have been gifted to you into practice for the benefit of others and of yourself.

Do the right thing, take risks, change your mind, have fun …

Alan Stewart, PhD

Adelaide, South Australia

May, 2013

Who is this book for?

It’s for you if you:

• intuit that in this book are ideas on ‘people skills’ which, if put into practice, could lead to you and those around you coming really ‘alive’ having such more fun together!

• recognise intuitively that you wish to learn and understand more about what conversation is in daily life in your home, business, neighbourhood and whatever enterprises you are engaged in.

• wish to be more caring of the way you and others treat one another in the range of contexts which make up your way of being and doing at home and elsewhere.

• sense that it could provide a ‘wholesome’ underpinning to a range of personal and professional activities in which the quality of relating is the key to success, however this is defined.

• need a reminder that face-to-face conversation is the most enlivening and enriching way of connecting with others.

• are looking for a nice change from communicating with a little screen in front of you and a little plug in your ear and with no multitasking going on.

• have a keen interest in coming to a better understanding of how we can help each other constructively. In the words of writer Kurt Vonnegut’s son We are here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is.

• know deeply what is to be gained from making very clear – through conversing about it – with all those for whom you have responsibility that ‘We are in this together and to treat each other well.’

• appreciate the need to celebrate life’s happenings and take the initiative to organise events to do this in lively company.

‘Be kind