It's Your Life; Own It!: No Blame, No Excuses . . .

By Dr. LaSharnda Beckwith

The life you live today will set the stage for the kind of life you ultimately would like to have. If you are not living your ideal life, do something about it. Dont blame anyone else. Dont make excuses. Just do something about it. Do it now. Dont get to the end of your life and say what if.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Nov 10, 2014
• ISBN: 9781496949516

Dr. LaSharnda Beckwith

“Dr. LaSharnda Beckwith, PhD, MBAA, MA, BPS, is an Empowerment Advocate, personal life coach, motivational speaker & leadership expert. She knows that in order for anyone to experience success in their personal or professional lives, there must be a fundamental change in attitude. One cannot be or think negatively and expect positive results. In addition, she loves to interact where she can encourage, enable, empower and energize others. She is a retired executive of more than 26 years with the Army & Air Force Exchange Service. Dr. Beckwith is the President and Chief Executive Officer for Beckwith Leadership Group, a personal and professional development organization. She is also the CEO for her non-profit organization, Professional Christian Women in Service, an organization that supports the needs of women by enabling, encouraging, energizing and empowering women. She is an author and talk show host. Most importantly, she has been married to Daryl Beckwith for 32years. They have one son, Brandon, who is a dynamic personality with a great smile, warm heart, and entrepreneurial spirit. She has one grandson, Jaden, who is the joy of her life.”

Book preview

It’s Your Life;

Own It!

No Blame, No Excuses …

Dr. LaSharnda Beckwith

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© 2014 Dr. LaSharnda Beckwith. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 11/07/2014

ISBN: 978-1-4969-4952-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4969-4951-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014919121

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

~Introduction~

Chapter 1   ~Become Aware~

Chapter 2   ~Lottery Anyone?

Chapter 3   ~It’s Your Decision~

Chapter 4   ~The Blame Game~

Chapter 5   ~Not All Experiences Will Be Positive~

Chapter 6   ~Are You Good with Yourself?

Chapter 7   ~Frustration Hurts You~

Chapter 8   ~Will I Follow? Really?

Chapter 9   ~Which Are You?

Chapter 10 ~Life Isn’t Always Wonderful~

Chapter 11 ~Are You Strong? Or Are You Scrawny?

Chapter 12 ~Endurance Builds Strength~

Chapter 13 ~We Just Have to Walk Through It~

Chapter 14 ~God’s Ways Are Not Our Ways~

Chapter 15 ~Thrive Despite Your Adversity~

Chapter 16 ~Your Life Has Purpose~


Chapter 17 ~No More Excuses~

Chapter 18 ~Live Your Life With The End In Mind~

Chapter 19 ~Turning Jealousy Into Joy~

Chapter 20 ~Is It a State of Mind?

Chapter 21 ~Feel Gratitude~

Chapter 22 ~Just Trust Him~

Chapter 23 ~What Makes You Wonderful?

Chapter 24 ~Positivity Affects Your Happiness~

Chapter 25 ~Recognize You Are Not A Positive Person~

Chapter 26 ~Somebody’s Watching You~

Chapter 27 ~Become the Person of Your Dreams~

Chapter 28 ~You Don’t Need a Reason to Let Go~

Chapter 29 ~Sometimes We Just Need To Listen~

Chapter 30 ~Watch Your Words~
 

Chapter 31 ~Do You Add Value to Others?

Chapter 32 ~Do You Believe You Are Worth It?

Chapter 33 ~You Have Influence~

Chapter 34 ~Broken Promises~

Chapter 35 ~Do Yourself a Favor~

Chapter 36 ~It Helps to Really Know Him~

Chapter 37 ~Do You Want to be Successful?

Chapter 38 ~You Are God’s Masterpiece~

Chapter 39 ~Small People~

Chapter 40 ~It Is Your Life; Really~

~Dr. LaSharnda’s~

21 Day Reflection Journal

Foreword

I was listening to a sermon recently in which the preacher asked the audience to say out loud what they were most afraid of. People began to cry out, Unemployment! Divorce! Someone even said Ebola! Now I confess that I have struggled, at one time or another, with most of the fears that were shared in the service that morning. The truth, though, is that my greatest fear is more subjective. What really scares me—and I am getting goose bumps now just thinking about it—is the possibility that I might not live a life that is significant.

I know, I know—that seems so impractical and idealistic, especially when you consider how many things we genuinely should be afraid of! But at the end of the day, and at the end of your life, do you really want to look back and say, I could have been so much more, but I let my excuses stop me from trying? Do you want fear to paralyze your potential such that you never rise above the effort to stay safe and comfortable? Really? Doesn’t the prospect of not taking responsibility for your life send chills down your spine? No doubt it is true that the reasons we have for not striving for personal excellence are many, and surely they can seem like awfully big obstacles at the time. But believe you me, as the years go by, you will find yourself asking, what was I so afraid of? Why was my faith so small? Why didn’t I believe more in the God who believes in me?

Are you feeling the goose bumps yet?

Now maybe you’re the kind of person that would prefer reading a book about more practical concerns, and if that’s you and the fear of losing your job is what keeps you awake at night, read a book by Dr. Maxwell on performance. Are you afraid of your marriage ending? Then by all means (I really mean it), read a good book on marriage by Dr. Phil. Is infectious disease a source of anxiety? Then please read up on what Dr. Oz has to say about prevention (oh, and don’t forget to see your doctor as well). But if you are someone who is ready to move beyond would of, could of, and should of—a person who wants to begin to live today so that there are few regrets tomorrow. If you are the kind of person who will not let the fear of failure rob you of the opportunity to make the most of the moment, the day, and your life. Then you should read a book by Dr. LaSharnda. In fact, you should read this book, by Dr. LaSharnda and learn how to take ownership of the life you have been given.

Dr. Jeff C. Magruder

Southwestern Assemblies of God University

Waxahachie, Texas

October 2014

Contact:

AuthorHouse.com : Mark Virgil

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my friends who I have watched, through the years, take control of their destiny. These women are strong and determined. They have not sat on the sidelines waiting for life to give them anything. Everything they have, they worked hard to get.

This book is dedicated to young women, middle-aged women, and older women, I have had the pleasure of watching, loving and learning from. I am a culmination of all of you. I have learned how to handle pain, disappointment & betrayal. I have learned how to do more than survive; I thrive because of you.

This book is dedicated to those who are willing to stop making excuses, stop living in fear and stop allowing their lives to be one of ongoing ethical and spiritual failure.

This book is dedicated to anyone who refuse to allow life to pass them by…

Acknowledgement

This book acknowledges and salutes those who have learned how to rise above their circumstances; for those who make no excuses; for those who keep a positive attitude even when they faced with trouble; and for those who have learned to lift others up as they have been lifted up.

I dedicate this book to some other dear friends and Sisters, Natalie Rowland, Denise Hunter, Joyce Bowers, Sheila Rowland-Whitfield, Anna Redding, and LiKeisha Mills; these are the Officers of Professional Christian Women in Service, PCW. You are wonderful, you are terrific, you are awesome; yes you are! These women have lived life and have approached their circumstances in such different ways, but have won in spite of the challenges thrown their way. They come from very different backgrounds, some are married and some are not; some are quiet and some are loud; some are subtle while others are in your face. What makes them the same is their resolve to rise up above life’s challenges, whether at work or at home, and remain women of integrity. They all believe in God and are committed to being followers of Jesus Christ. I have been lifted up on the strength of their arms joined together with me.

We have won victories and we had lost battles but one thing that remained consistent in us all has been our resolve not to ever give up on ourselves. We have learned to love ourselves and to trust our instincts because we believe we allow God to lead our steps. When life has tried to push us down, we said No and we found the strength to pull up, crawl out, stand up, and run on…

Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave your nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6

~Introduction~

Hey! What is wrong with you? Why do you seem to always make the wrong decisions and expect others to be responsible for those decisions?

Hey, what’s wrong with you? Just because you were raised on the other side of the tracks is not enough to justify you always talking about not being able to get ahead!

You say you were raised in the projects; so what? What does that have to do with anything?

You don’t have formal education? So what?

Oh, I get it, you are a girl? So what?

How about you stop blaming others, stop being the victim, stop complaining and start taking full responsibility for your own life,

You were raised on the other side of the tracks, but that does not mean that they were the wrong side of the tracks. You were raised in the projects? Many others were raised in the projects too. They simply decided that they would not stay there.

You don’t have to stay there either.

You are a girl. I am too. You are a boy, well I am not, but I can do some boy things! Proverbs 23:7 "As a man thinks, so is he…"

If you think negative, you will live negative. If you think positive, you will live positive. You cannot think negative and live a positive life. Now, you decide which of these you will do and you will decide your station in life. You will accept responsibility of how your life will be. You will own it.

~Take Control!

I don’t understand for the life of me why we don’t take more ownership for our own lives. We say we want more out of life; we want success, wealth, status and friends, yet we are not willing to do the things it takes to get those things. It is easier to say, it just doesn’t happen for me, rather than taking control of your life’s happiness and pursuing those things you want. Instead, I notice that many will just sit idly by and let life pass them by.

Why do you sit in a corner and let others tell you how you can live your life and you agree? You agree through passive agreement, not doing anything, or by active agreement, participating in what they are saying about your limitations.

If you won’t take control of your own life and if you passively agree to stand back and accept whatever it is that others decide to give you; that’s your decision. If you sit around and actively complain, grumble and hold on to deeply hurt feelings; that’s another decision that you made for your life. If you hold on and allow those hurts to turn into deep hatred for another person, you have made a decision there too. Finally, if you talk bad about yourself, to yourself, well, I don’t have to tell you that you are not helping yourself.

~Do You Know? Do You Realize?

I don’t think you realize that all the things you speak about yourself, to yourself, will eventually become your reality. I don’t think most people hear when they complain that the reason they are who and what they are is because of another person’s actions or because of another person’s inaction.

They do not hear that they are speaking negatively; they don’t see that they are acting negatively; and they don’t recognize when they become the most negative and pessimistic person in the room. They have become the person no one wants to be around or to be in a relationship with.

Whether we like it or not, our lives are a compilation of our experiences. If we have viewed all that has happened in our lives as being out of our control, therein lies our first problem. If we blame others for any or everything that has happened to us and take no responsibility at all, therein lies our second problem. No worries; there is hope.

~There is Hope~

The first step in turning your life around, in changing your attitude and in becoming the person you really want to be, is to first become aware of whom you have become. Have you become your worst nightmare? Are you saying blessings to yourself or are you speaking curses to yourself?

Have you become so used to saying negative things that you don’t even hear them come out of your mouth? You need to begin to watch how you speak. Begin to watch how you speak to yourself; what words do you use when you talk about you? That will give you some indication of where to begin in this process of owning the life you have always wanted.

The next step is to do something about it. If you notice a pattern of behavior that is not positive, stop it. First, whatever is in your mind is what you will speak. So everything we become, starts with how we think. You might say, I can’t control every thought. I am not asking you to do that, but I am asking you to watch carefully the things on which you think. I am asking you to watch the people you hang around. The television shows you watch and the music you listen to. All of these things feed your mind.

What you take in, is what will eventually come out. It will come out in your actions and behaviors. Once you recognize what it is that you are thinking about, make a change. It won’t be easy because our positive and negative patterns have been established over the years. It is because of the repetition of your habits over the years, that they have become as natural as breathing. It will take work to break those habits. So, figure out what your negative habits are and take action. Begin to change those negative habits into positive ones.

The third and final step is to make your new actions habitual. Work on turning your new actions into habits. Do not go back to that dark place of negativity. Realize that negativity will hold you in one place; not allowing you to move your life forward.

One place I want you to start is with the