The Ride of Your Life: Faith Will Move You Forward

By Tina Elliott Boyd

Each of us, at some point in our lives, will have a knee bender a devastating event that has happened to you or someone you love that has caused you to fall to your knees to pray. In The Ride of Your Life, Faith Will Move You Forward, Tina Boyd will take you through her personal knee bender and will show you how she turned a tragic experience into a meaningful life lesson. Years of journaling and reflection have helped Tina to develop the "front wheel" model. The front-wheel model will encourage you to move forward and to embrace life, regardless of the challenges you are facing. She utilizes the mechanics of a wheel to guide you through the seven spokes of healing that will lead you down the road of faith towards God's love. Tina shares her deepest thoughts, pain, and spiritual healing to guide you through the blowouts, bumps, and wrong turns along your ride. The wheel concept is a practical guide to show you how to handle each step of your journey: shame, humility, forgiveness, and finally, gratitude. Tina's front-wheel concept with God as the hub of the wheel will help you understand your life's lessons. The rim will help you to understand God's everlasting love and promise of eternal life. Even if you have yet to have a significant blowout or wrong turn along your personal path, using this concept will guide you through the beautiful ride that God intends for you to have.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Dec 19, 2014
• ISBN: 9781490859125

Tina Elliott Boyd

Tina Elliott Boyd is a God marketer, marketing consultant, speaker, and author. She attended Marymount University and received her BA and MBA in marketing. She is married to Lance Boyd her college sweet heart and they have three children: Andrew, Brigette, and Olivia. She is the co-founder and president of W+winGs (Women Walking in God’s Spirit), a Christian, non-profit organization.

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Copyright © 2014 Tina Elliott Boyd.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Cover illustration by Elaine McGrath.

Interior images by Alexandra Shute.

Edited by Nancy Brosnahan and Jane Saver.

ISBN: 978-1-4908-5910-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-5911-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-5912-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014919916

WestBow Press rev. date: 12/18/2014

Contents

Dedication

Why Did I Write This Book?

The Story: Meeting of a Man

1   The Analogy of the Bicycle and the Front-Wheel Concept

2   The First Spoke: Understanding Your Belief System, Beliefs

3   The Second Spoke: The Signs along the Way; Giving Significant Meaning to Your Journey, Signs

4   The Third Spoke: Humility to Acceptance, Acceptance

5   The Fourth Spoke: God’s Free Will or Choice, Choice

6   The Fifth Spoke: Forgiveness and Mercy, Forgiveness

7   The Sixth Spoke: The Grace of Gratitude, Gracitude

8   The Seventh Spoke: Teaching and Leading Others, Teacher

9   The Hub and Ball Bearings: The Faith within Your Soul

10 The Rim: God’s Eternal Love

Epilogue: Another Day and Another Beginning, Continuing to Move Forward

Acknowledgements

About the Artist

About the Graphic Designer

About the Author

Scriptures quotations marked NIV are taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scriptures quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scriptures quotations marked KJV are taken from King James Version of the Bible.

Scriptures quotations marked ESV are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All right reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scriptures quotations marked GW are taken from GOD’S WORD®, Translation © 1995 God’s Word to the Nations. Used by permission of Baker Publishing Group. Used by permission.

Scriptures quotations marked NCV are taken from the Holy Bible, New Century Version®. Copyright © 1987, 1988, 1991 by Word Publishing, a division of Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission.

Dedication

To the Cross and my precious family,

Lance, Andrew, Brigette, and Olivia, may your ride be filled with love and joy! When you hit those potholes, wrong turns, and blowouts, may you find the strength from God to lead you through to an amazing beautiful ride of your life! To my mother and father, who gave me the faith I needed to find my beautiful ride of my life. My love for you all is undeniable just as God’s love is for us!

Love,

Tina, your wife, mother, and daughter

To the families of the accident,

An accident rarely affects only one person. Families on each side of a tragedy must work to understand and know God’s forgiveness. Faith and love must be a part of the healing process for all involved, so that each person is able to ride through the difficult times in God’s grace. Throughout the course of writing this book, I have continually reflected upon each and every person who has gone through this bumpy ride with me, especially the family of the man who passed away as a result of the accident. I pray that each knows God’s love and compassion and that the family continues to heal each day in His love.

Love,

Tina

Please note: To show my appreciation for your purchasing this book, a portion of the proceeds will be donated to the Brain Injury Services of Virginia, braininjurysvcs.org.

Why Did I Write This Book?

I have often wondered this! My heart moves me to tell others about my journey. I truly believe I can help people who are experiencing all types of difficult situations. Bad things happen to everyone and some situations cause deep suffering. St. John of the Cross and St. Teresa of Avila coined the phrase, The dark night of your soul. This phrase means that God is working in you, healing you, and helping you to grow during your darkest times.

My spiritual growth occurred during a time of suffering. In the most painful moments, I found guidance from the Lord. This guidance helped me to develop tools to grow closer to God and grow through my pain. In return, I want to share these tools to help others.

Most of us have heard the saying, Everyone has a cross to bear. These crosses come in all sizes. A cross can be something that has hurt us deeply, stopped us in our tracks, or caused us to say Why me? A cross can be as common as dealing with an illness or a divorce or as difficult as having an accident in which another’s life is taken. A cross makes us hurt on the inside; it’s what we bear. Everyone’s cross is different and based on one’s own interpretation. No one situation is more hurtful than another. It is all up to how you interpret it.

I can say honestly I never want to go back to the days of suffering my cross. I can tell you, though, the feelings I experienced were, in a sense, a gift. The burden of my cross helped me to better appreciate the gifts in my life, which in turn helped lighten my painful load.

I hope that, as you read through The Ride of Your Life, you will find gifts to help you through all your bumps, potholes, and wrong turns along the way. I hope you can find a pure and honest beauty in this story, even in its most dreadful moments, and that it will help you to better understand the burdens of your cross and the lessons that come with it.

God gives us obstacles so that we may develop our souls, build our characters, and show our true hearts. Only then can we continue our ride forward joyfully—with the cool wind in our faces, our legs not tired, the warmth of the shining sun on our backs, and the sight of vibrant purples, blues, reds, pinks, oranges, and yellow colored flowers in the fields as we pass by.

Not only that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (Romans 5:3-5 ESV)

The Story:

Meeting of a Man

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Through difficult experiences, life

sometimes becomes more meaningful.

— Dalai Lama

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I t was a typical spring day in Virginia. The May sun was shining and the sky was a cloudless blue. It was the kind of day when our biggest worries were about shuttling kids to sporting events and having them where they needed to be on time. Our dear friends from California had come to visit and we sat sipping coffee while reminiscing about our children growing too fast, our old neighborhood in California, and how we wished our wonderful weekend visit with them didn’t have to end so soon. As it always does, though, the clock continued to tick, and we soon realized that our lazy spring morning had to come to an end.

My husband Lance and I began the usual discussion about who would take whom to where and when, and how sporting equipment would be delivered to children strewn about the neighborhood at various sleepovers. Our friends began to pack and our bantering turned to decision-making.

Lance decided he would take our friends to the airport and take our oldest daughter Brigette to her soccer game later that day. It was my task to take paintball equipment to our son Andrew and to deliver soccer equipment to Brigette prior to her game. As was usually the case, our youngest, Olivia, would tag along with me, ever the good sport about the many needs of her older siblings.

With plans in motion, Lance and our guests headed to the airport, and Olivia and I stood in the driveway to wave goodbye. The beauty of the day turned my attention to our convertible, and I began a lengthy internal debate as to the pros and cons of taking the convertible or the SUV. Looking back, it continually amazes me that this personal dialogue would end up having such a profound impact upon the outcome of the day’s events. While I often talk to myself throughout the day, the voice in my head this time seemed to be very different and far more persistent than usual. Clearly, I wanted to take the convertible on such a glorious day, but when the rather heated argument between the California girl side and the motherly side of my brain came to a close, the SUV came out on top. The unusual voice had won.

I buckled Olivia safely into her booster seat and, after a few last-minute trips back and forth into the house I set off down the road toward our various destinations. I drove to the neighborhood home where Brigette had stayed overnight, left her soccer equipment with her for her game later that day, pulled back onto the main road in our neighborhood, and headed for the sporting goods store.

Now my Olivia happens to be what some would call a chatty Kathy. As our youngest, she was almost always by my side back then. Our car trips were usually when we shared the various activities that were going on in our lives, when we laughed, sang, and just enjoyed each other’s company. So, when I began talking to her in the back seat and didn’t get a reply, I knew something was wrong.

I quickly turned around and saw that she was no longer safely buckled in her booster seat and, in fact, she was no longer in the car at all. Panic set in. Having only travelled about a half mile from our house, I quickly turned the car around and sped back down the street. As I pulled in the driveway, I could see her tiny shape, balled up, sitting on the grass in the front yard.

Tears rolled into smiles as I picked her up and hugged her with all of my might. It was such a simple thing on such a typical day. Yet it only takes a few seconds to turn your world upside down, right? I took advantage of the teachable moment and talked to her about safety, said a quick prayer of thanks, buckled her in (again), and off we went.

That little voice in my head seemed to be talking louder than usual once again, and it urged me to hurry. While I am almost always a few minutes late for everything (my friends refer to it as Tina Time), looking back, I am not sure why I felt the need to rush. For once, I actually had more than enough time to pick out the new paintball supplies and deliver them to Andrew. While I always take the time to stop and chat with friends and acquaintances along my daily stops, even my conversation with a friend at the sporting goods store was cut short. That same inner voice that had spoken to me earlier that day in my driveway seemed to be pushing and pulling me to a specific moment in time.

After finishing up at the sporting goods store, Olivia and I headed west to drop off the paintball supplies. Although I was somewhat familiar with the road that took me toward Andrew’s friend’s home, I had not traveled in that direction since our moving back from California. So, I was enjoying the scenery from a new vantage point, windows down, taking in the smells that were carried along in the fresh spring air. As I drove closer to town, I became a bit confused about which way I should turn, and I soon realized that I was on an unfamiliar stretch of road.

Glancing around for the directions I had written, I saw the piece of paper across the car on the passenger’s seat. After checking the road ahead and in the mirror behind me, I reached over for the paper and checked the directions.

Have you ever heard of a nanosecond? Well, that’s what it seemed like. I had barely even looked at the directions when I felt a big boom. I immediately thought that I had drifted to the side of the road and hit a road sign—if only that had been the case. Instead, a man, followed by his bicycle, flew over the passenger side of my car. My heart stopped, and my mind seemed to explode with fear and worry. I hit a man! I hit a man! I screamed.

I put the car in park, ran around to the side of the car, and found him, lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood, gasping for air. I knew I shouldn’t touch him, but the urge to help was beyond reason. I grabbed my phone as quickly as I could and dialed 9-1-1. I started waving my arm, frantically, trying to flag down any person or driver who might see me. Finally, a car arrived, and then another. The drivers stopped to try as best as they could to help.

He came out of nowhere! I cried, trying to focus on the people who had stopped at the scene. When they asked what they could do to help, all I could tell them was to pray. Please, I said, get down on your knees and pray with me.

Waiting for the ambulance seemed to take forever, although I knew that the fire station was only a mile or two down the road. I was in shock and hysterical. The bleeding was more than I could have ever imagined.

In the minutes that followed, I was somehow able to dial Lance’s number, but speaking to him seemed impossible. I could only sob into the phone, and he could not understand what I was saying. I could tell that he took the call off of the speaker so my daughter Brigette, who was riding with him in his car, couldn’t hear my desperate call. I remember him telling Brigette I had hit a deer, obviously to keep her from getting too upset. He told me that he would drop her off at her soccer game and get to me as soon as he could.

As I tried to process all that he said, I realized that Olivia remained in the back seat of my car, alone and probably terrified. I called out to the group of people that had gathered and told them that my daughter was still in the car. A young girl was kind enough to climb into the backseat with Olivia and sit with her during the chaos. How grateful I was that Olivia was uninjured.

When the ambulance and state troopers finally arrived, they found me on the side of the road, literally on my knees in prayer. I was screaming out to God asking him, What have I done? Police cars, EMTs, passenger cars, and the people who were in them moved in and out of view. This seemed utterly confusing to me.

A familiar face appeared, a parent from Brigette’s school who had recognized my car, and I remember being so grateful for her presence at that horrible moment. I was crying desperately, asking the paramedics why the poor man had not yet been taken in the ambulance. The unfamiliar voice was saying, Hurry! Hurry for him.

The officer instructed me to