What If?: A Woman’S Journey Toward Conquering the Burden of Incest

By Xlibris US

What If?: A Womans Journey Toward Conquering the Burden of Incest is an autobiographical voyage through time that seeks to look for answers retroactively. What If? poses questions about the alternative twists and turns ones life maze might take if a horrendous experience such as incest could have been avoided, including internal persecution, family conflict, and spiritual warfare. The book also addresses the possibility of maximizing lessons learned as a result of such an experience, even if its occurrence was many decades prior to their realization.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jul 17, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499043822

Book preview

Copyright © 2014 by Cheryl Miles-Stevenson, Ph.D.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2014911768

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-4990-4381-5

                Softcover        978-1-4990-4380-8

                eBook             978-1-4990-4382-2

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 06/27/2014

Xlibris LLC

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

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Contents

Acknowledgments

Prologue

I A Tale of Two Women

II A Twisted Man’s Mind

III From Here to Eternity

Epilogue

I admit it was hard to see

You being in love with someone like me

But, finally, I can—

Imagine me

—Kirk Franklin

Acknowledgments

To those who have played major roles in the concept, compilation, and completion of this work:

God, without whom nothing is possible, but with whom, I can do all things. To him be all praise, honor, and glory.

Senta, my husband, for his incomprehensible willingness to support all my endeavors and love me at times when I didn’t even love myself.

Darian and Jordan, my sons, for the never-ending, unconditional love only parents and children share.

Bettye Miles, my mother, who though only with me for a few moments, left a great legacy and high standards to uphold. I carry you with me every day.

Laura Davis and Annie Moore, my grandmothers, for their love, guidance, and support shown in providing a home for me.

Sarah and Vivian King, my godparents, who left indelible marks on my life, demonstrating what love is really supposed to be and how it should look. And for filling voids left by a mother unable to be there and a father unwilling to be there.

Florence Andrews, my aunt, for providing both tangible and intangible things, large and small, when most needed.

Alexis Smith, my Zeta sister and friend, for offering an impartial, honest opinion and willing ear when most needed.

Prologue

At many times in my life, I have asked myself the question, What if? What if I could anticipate how life would play itself out? What if I knew the script before it was ever written? What if I could have at least been made aware of the warning signs as they approached? Looking back, I’m almost certain they were there. But if I didn’t know what to look for… Had I known, I could have avoided so many troubles and heartaches—those train wrecks I never saw coming. I could have avoided some of those situations and people I now wish had never come my way. I could have eliminated numerous antagonists and evil spirits that have sought to bring doom and gloom into my personal space. Hindsight is indeed twenty-twenty!

However, there have also been those good things—many of which were heightened by that element of surprise. By what magnitude of excitement might these pinnacles have been cut down were we able to anticipate their outcome? I believe we would sell ourselves short. It’s been said that you can’t miss what you never had, but I thoroughly believe we would do ourselves a disservice by not even making the effort to reach for those pinnacles. After all, if we really trust God like we claim we do, would we not allow him to direct the paths our lives would take? What if we waited patiently on him to see just how high our pinnacles could rise? Would we even have enough space available inside to accept all he has to give us?

And if the adage is really true—that the good usually outweighs the bad—perhaps it is best that we allow life to take its course and not second-guess or even pose that never-ending, always-haunting question—What if?

I

A TALE OF TWO WOMEN

Being the youngest child in a family has its advantages. I have two older brothers, Michael and Dave, and according to them, I got my own everything. But not only was I the youngest, I was the only girl. As a result, there was no one else around to share dolls, dresses, hair ribbons, and an Easy Bake Oven. I know my brothers loved me, but being much older and macho, they were more likely to spend their time playing with Hot Wheels, superheroes, action figures, and riding bikes. And while I would sometimes find myself wanting to do the same things to hang out with them, they weren’t the types of things a little four- or five-year-old girl was expected to do. But being the youngest also had its disadvantages, especially when people you thought would always be around to help you remember and recall old memories slowly began to fade away. It was not something that would strike immediately, but it would certainly have a long-lasting effect, the propensity of which I could only imagine.

I spent my earliest years in Yazoo City, Mississippi, with my mother, grandmother, and brothers, while my father served his last overseas tour of duty with the US Army. My mother and grandmother were schoolteachers, both of whom had made indelible marks over the years educating children, their children, and their children’s children within a small close-knit community. Upon my father’s return to the states in the early 1970s, my mother, brothers, and I relocated to Fort Lee, Virginia, where he completed his military service. Some of my fondest memories were of time spent living on base, playing with my brothers and newly made friends. It was also a time when our family seemed to be complete, since everyone was together—both my parents, my brothers, and me. We seemed like the perfect American family. But this was a facade. I’m still not sure whether it can be considered an advantage or disadvantage of my youth. It was just one of those things that was not fully understood due to my naïveté, perhaps for the best. One of those incidents involved my older brother, Michael, moving to Mississippi. One day Mike was home with us; the next day, he was gone. Nobody would tell me why. It wasn’t until many years later that bits and pieces of the puzzle began to come together, and the puzzle remains incomplete. I was simply told that my brother left because he threatened my father, following an altercation between my parents. Being the militaristic, strong man my father was, he would never allow anyone else—especially not a teenage boy—to threaten him. So Mike had to go. I’m sure there was so much more tension in our home before, during, and after this occurrence than I ever realized, especially in their relationship. But from the outside looking in, through the eyes of a young child, things seemed far clearer than they really were.

On better days, my childhood was like that of any other boy or girl. Monday through Friday, I went to school, came home, did homework, had dinner, played a little,

Reviews for What If?

[satinajensen · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Story of 3 different scenarios. What if? Seal A played with Seal B, what if Seal A played with Seal C what if Seal A played with B & C.

[cabaty · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

What a wonderful book to get the class talking! "What If?" takes the reader on 3 possible journeys all asking what if this happened? The class will gleefully take apart the pictures to figure out what's going on in this fun picture book.

[ruthfinnigan · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Although the story line is simple, I think the introduce literacy early as possible. The illustrations also help with the plot of the simple story line, they work well!

[krausch-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I liked this book. Even though it did not have words, it taught a great lesson. this book can teach children to include everyone. If they see someone sitting by themselves, they can invite them to play instead of leaving them alone.

[reynolds2-1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This would be a great book to help ELD students practice conditional language. They could write the parts of the story that are left up to the reader's imagination, or write their own versions following the pattern of "what if" working through a variety of scenarios and outcomes.

[tarannum93_1 · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

This book is about two seal that were playing with a volleyball when it got lost in the water. They make assumptions about what is going to happen to it . I didn't like the book very much and wouldn't reccomend it for students.

[tbegum1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This book is about two seals who are playing with a beach ball. They then loose the beach ball on the shore and can't get it. The book is interesting because it allows for children to make up assumptions about what is going to happen on the next page. Every page other page says "what if..." and that makes children more alert when reading because it makes them curious.

[dukefan86 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

The illustrations bump this up to a 3 for me. Could be a good conversation starter for kids.

[rgraf1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

"What if" is about two seals who find a ball at the beach and one other seal is watching them and he's very sad about being alone. In the end they all three play together. There are very few words in the book but the pictures tell a lot. A lovely story about making friends!

[achatela · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This story was about a group of seals asking the question What If? The book had very little words which added alot of imagination to the story.

[dulcenash · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This nearly worldless book explores what happens when three seals find a left behind beach ball. With three different scenarios, the seals explore themes in sharing and making friends. A good selection for young readers learning to be friends.

[feboudre · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This wordless picture book is about sharing and different scenarios. It allows the reader to think about the different possibilities about different situations. Genre: FictionAge(s): 4-8

[lauramel_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This book had colorful illustrations that would catch the eyes of young children. I would use this book in a preschool classroom in a discussion about friendship.

[katieginn · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This is a cute picture book about friendship ans sharing. Great for young readers.