The Girl in the Mirror: Book One

By Sheila Brooks

Sheila did not have what many would consider an easy childhood, but through the love and care of her darling Granny Brooks, she learned perseverance and to have faith at a young age. In The Girl in the Mirror, Sheila invites you into her life journey from childhood to adulthood. She shares her experiencesgood, bad, and somewhere in betweenand how she thought of those occasions at the time, as a child, teenager, and adult. She also shares how she was able to change her perceptions of the bad experiences to help her to be a better person. Through it all, she remains adamant about not allowing unpleasant experiences to prevent her from being whole, healthy, and successful.

Ultimately designed to prompt readers to look deeper into their own lives and experiences and look at them in a positive light, The Girl in the Mirror was created to inform, educate, and inspire all to become more conscious and to take a deeper look into their lives and the world they live in. Through Sheilas journeys, readers can draw insight and inspiration on how to take control of their lives and be the great people they were created to be.

No matter what your challenges, the greatest victory is to rise above and claim your most satisfying life!

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Oct 27, 2014
• ISBN: 9781491744635

Sheila Brooks

Sheila Brooks has a bachelor’s degree in psychology, a master’s degree in business administration, and a doctorate degree in business administration. The Girl in the Mirror is her first published book. Sheila, her husband, and eleven-year-old daughter live near the Twin Cities in Minnesota. She also has two older children.

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

Hi, my name is Sheila and I was quite the little girl growing up. Many people were around, yet I felt so lonely. I loved my Granny Brooks. Granny Brooks was a catalyst in my life. She was the person who really took care of me. Granny Brooks was a member of McGuire Temple Church. I attended church with Granny Brooks on Sundays and for special services during the week. I loved going to church with Granny Brooks and became mentally and vaguely spiritually aware of God because of Granny Brooks.

Although Granny Brooks loved, cared for and nurtured me, she reprimanded me well when I misbehaved. Granny Brooks would spank me with a strap. She did not abuse me but when I needed to be put back in line, she did a good job of getting me back there. I always felt like I really needed that.

My mom Donna and I lived with her parents, Granny and Grandpa Brooks in a one bedroom apartment. Granny and Grandpa Brooks had nine children, four males and five females. My mom was child number six.

After my mom gave birth to me, she raised me in her parent’s apartment where two of her younger siblings lived also. The apartment where we lived was in a six flat family owned building with three apartments on each side. Granny and Grandpa Brooks apartment was on the first floor along with Granny Brooks sister and her husbands who lived next door. I played in the backyard a lot, especially during the summer months. Sometimes my cousins would visit and I would have someone to play with.

Granny Brooks took care of me. In fact, Granny Brooks nurtured and cared for me more than my own mother did. My mom did her best with me but Granny Brooks helped me grow and develop in ways my mom could not. I am sure this had a lot to do with the fact that my mom was only sixteen years old when she gave birth to me.

One day I was playing in the back yard when my Uncle George came in the backyard through the alley along with his friend that lived across the alley. Uncle George went in the house and his friend took me out of the back yard and to the outside basement of his building, right across the alley. He pulled my panties to the side while holding me in his arms and slightly penetrated me. I was confused and did not know or understand what was going on. After all, I was only six years old. I actually kind of enjoyed what he was doing. Yet I was confused.

Sometimes when children are sexually taken advantage of by adults or teenagers, the perpetrator does not necessarily hurt the child and the child may actually like how it feels. This can lead to mixed messages and the child can develop an unhealthy attitude towards sex and themselves. A child may feel that something is wrong with them for enjoying the sexual act that should not be happening. These sexual encounters that children experience at the hands of adults, many times will cause a child to become promiscuous, having enjoyed the experience and continuing to seek similar experiences to receive the same pleasure. The child may feel really guilty and ashamed about their behavior, yet a cycle has been set in motion.

I experienced several other similar incidents with different men over the years as a minor child. For each experience, I enjoyed what was being done to me and welcomed it, although those grown men had no business interacting with me in this sexual way. I enjoyed these experiences until my mother’s boyfriend Carl fondled me when I was twelve years old.

As a child you expect the adults and caregivers in your life to love and protect you. When they violate your innocence and fail to nurture you in the appropriate way, you become confused. How can someone that is here to care for me do things to hurt me in this way? That is what I wondered. I attempted to tell my mother on several occasions but she didn’t believe me or she just ignored me so that she would not have to confront her boyfriend and risk losing him. My mom made it okay for Carl to continue to violate me in sexual ways. Not only was I violated sexually but I suffered emotionally as well.

Children who are sexually molested often have no one to turn to. They are usually afraid to tell someone about the abuse and God forbid if they do tell and they are ignored, not believed or told that they are lying or worse, told that they are crazy. I believe that some children do not tell their mother in particular because they fear that their mother will not believe them anyway. That is a really tough spot to be in, especially as a child, who’s only job should be is to be a child.

CHAPTER 2

Throughout the earlier part of grade school my mom married a man named Thomas. Thomas’s parents were really good to me. They would care for me most of the time. Thomas’s father Thomas Sr. loved to cook. He cooked for his household and he cooked for me too. I loved his cooking. He pretty much included me as part of his household since I was always with him.

Thomas Jrs. parents, Mr. and Mrs. McGuire lived on the second floor of a two flat that they owned, along with their daughter Keyshia. Keyshia was eight years younger than Thomas Jr. Thomas Jr., my mom, and I occupied the first floor of the two flat building. When Thomas III came along he joined us.

Mrs. McGuire had a section in the basement of the building as a dance studio. The other section of the building was a recording studio. I was part of the dance class that Mrs. McGuire taught. Thomas Jr. had a band and they would often rehearse in the studio.

Before Mrs. McGuire had part of the basement constructed into a dance studio, she held classes at the Day Care Center that she worked at. Dance classes were on Saturday mornings. Every year in June, we put on a really big show at Doones High School. We were also invited to perform at another dance class show every year.

Dance class was good for me. It gave me something productive to do on Saturday mornings. It also kept me out of my mother’s hair. After dance class, I would go to Granny Brooks house and spend the night. Granny Brooks was the hair presser of the family and she would press my hair on some Saturdays, when my mom washed it.

Other family members came to visit Granny Brooks every Saturday afternoon. Sometimes she would press my Aunt Linda’s hair too. Granny Brooks would have the radio on an AM Gospel station towards Saturday evening. I attended church with Granny Brooks every Sunday morning and stayed at church with her all day until someone took me home.

Having been a regular church attendee with Granny Brooks, I had a concept of God. I knew there was a God, although at the time I did not really know what that meant. Even though that was the case, I can honestly say that I always felt connected to God but I did not have a good cognitive understanding about what I was experiencing. I knew God was there and that he comforted me. I could feel his presence at a very early age.

Elder Saga was the pastor of Saga Temple Church. Elder Saga was a really cool pastor. He kept peppermint candy in his pocket and would give them away to us children as a token of his love. We loved the peppermint candy and would often ask him for some. We really thought we had a treat when Elder Saga gave us the peppermint candy and I guess we did, coming from a man with so much love. Elder Saga and Granny Brooks were really good friends and if you did not know any better, you would have thought that they were an item. Elder Saga did have a wife that is until she passed away.

Sundays were a special time for me too. I had some really cool friends at church. After Sunday school a group of us children would walk to the store to by snacks. It was quite the ritual. I was also in the choir. I don’t remember asking to be in the choir or even being asked if I wanted to be. I was put in there by my Granny Brooks of course, but it was cool and good for me.

CHAPTER 3

Most times when dance class was over, I would go to Granny Brooks house. As I grew older, I stopped attending dance class and I did not go to Granny Brooks house as much on the weekend. The church bus was up and running and I was sent to church while my mother stayed home. I could not understand why I was sent to church rather than go to church with my mom.

After my brother Thomas III was born, I had a sibling to care for. Having a baby brother was fun for me. Aside from church it gave me something to look forward to. School was okay for me too. It gave me another outlet. I was quiet for the most part and I was happy about being at school most of the time.

One day when I was in the fourth grade, I was at school and I observed a group of girls picking on a girl in my class named Lashawn. Lashawn was a nice, quiet girl. I thought, why in the world would anyone want to bother Lashawn. One particular girl in the bully group threatened that she would beat Lashawn up after school. After school the group of bully girls approached Lashawn and the next thing I knew, Lashawn had the hair of the girl that threatened her and she was swinging her around in a circle by her head.

When Lashawn released her hair, all the bully girls ran away. Watching that taught me that just because someone is quiet and nice does not mean that they won’t defend themselves if they need to. I would learn throughout life that people will definitely target you if you are quiet and nice. Unfortunately, many people see that as being weak. The question that resonated in my mind was why would someone want to hurt someone else because they are weak?. Shouldn’t we help the weak? I had a long journey in front of me and would frequently observe many individuals preying on the weak.

My Aunt Stacia had a boyfriend that lived across the street. She would frequently visit us so she could go over to her boyfriend Charlie’s house. Charlie had four brothers, Charlie being the oldest. They lived in an apartment with their mother. One day I was sitting on the front porch when Charlie’s 20 year old brother Rodney came over. He suggested that I come with him and so I did.

Rodney took me inside of their apartment. He eventually took me into a really big hallway closet and laid me on the floor. He began to fondle me as I lie there with my eyes closed. Rodney kept getting up and leaving out of the closet. He would return and continue fondling me. He had been checking the scene to make sure no one was coming. When he had enough he let me out of the closet and out of the front door. I went home as if everything was normal. These kinds of incidents were becoming normal for me.

CHAPTER 4

My mom had started seeing another man while she was still married to Thomas Jr. She spent less time at home and more time with her new love interest. This meant that she spent little or no time with me. Thomas Sr. looked after me most of the time. When I came home from school I would be with Thomas Sr. He fed me and made sure I was taken care of. Eventually, my mom had taken me with her to live with her new boyfriend, Tony. I was definitely saddened that I would not spend time with Thomas Sr.. After all, Thomas Sr. took really good care of me and he was really fun too!

My mom, Tony, Thomas III and I lived in a one bedroom apartment on the first floor of a four unit apartment building. Tony’s mom and step dad lived next door. Tony’s two older sons also lived next door. I made friends with a girl that lived on the second floor on the other side from our apartment. Her name was Crystal. I would visit Crystal from time to time. Crystal lived wither mom and dad. They were nice people. They both worked and Crystal had nice things to show for it. Crystal and I enjoyed hanging out together. Crystal and her family moved after about a year after we moved there.

I also met some people in the neighborhood. Across the street lived a really huge family in a two flat building. They were the Williams and they occupied both the first floor, second floor and basement of the building. There was a girl named Blue who was a couple of years older than me. We become really good friends. Blue had a younger sister named Tomeka who was my age but Blue and I hit it off so good that we were better friends than Tomeka and I. I was really fascinated with Blue. She had a way about herself that appealed to me.

My mom frequently sent me to the grocery store to get groceries. The grocery store was quite a little ways. Most of the time, the list for the grocery store was quite a bit for a little girl to carry on her own, so I would always ask a friend to accompany me. I went to ask Blue to go to the store with me most of the time and would have to wait for her to get dressed and sometimes to wait on her to do whatever else it was that she had to do. I would wait, sometimes for hours. I know sometimes she would stall just so I could just leave because she was taking too long, and then she wouldn’t have to go because the truth is she didn’t want to go and I don’t blame her. After a while it just got to be a little bit too much.

My moma would sometimes be angry with me that it took me so long to go to the store and get back home. I just dealt with the reprimand because I needed people to help