Suicide: Prevention and Helps for Those Left Behind: Finally a Thorough, Practical, Biblical Approach

By Dr. James Bachman

Do you know someone who is suicidal or people who have lost a loved one to suicide? They need this book! Pastors, counselors, and even lay people can find the real causes and deterrents of suicide and how to help the bereaved find healing.

Suicidal people need the program of long-term transformation of thoughts and actions in addition to the short-term emergency prevention information provided in this book. They also need to understand and properly handle suffering and find and fulfill Gods real calling for their lives.

Many real-life stories experienced in Dr. Bachmans ministry add great insight and interest for the reader.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jul 17, 2015
• ISBN: 9781490885025

Dr. James Bachman

Dr. James Bachman spent thirty-two of his fifty-plus years of ministry as the senior pastor of Roanoke Baptist Church. He is known for his caring, biblical, and helpful counseling. He attended Michigan State University and Grand Rapids Baptist Bible College and Seminary, and he received his doctor of divinity degree from Shawnee Baptist College. His wife, Sharon; daughter, Vicky Bachman Pope; and sons, Dr. Mark Bachman and Dr. Jack Bachman, have a combined 130 years of full-time Christian service. God has enabled the author to rescue several people in the process of committing suicide and help many bereaved find new purpose to go on with their lives. “Suicide in the military is a dreadfully serious problem. I personally believe that leaders and chaplains at all levels of government and military service will reap immense benefits and spiritual insights from reading the exceptionally useful and practical compilation of thoughts in this intriguing book.” —Colonel J. Tyler Ryberg, USMC (retired) “This book is an incredible wealth of biblical wisdom! It is an indispensable resource for prevention of suicide and healing for those suffering in the aftermath of such a horrible tragedy. It includes a tremendously practical and solidly scriptural prevention program that can be simply applied in one’s personal life.” —Mike Tarr, senior pastor

Book preview

Copyright © 2015 Dr. James Bachman.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

All Scripture quotations are from the

King James Version

Any underlining of Scripture is for the author’s emphasis only.

WestBow Press

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-8503-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-8501-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-8502-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015909798

WestBow Press rev. date: 7/14/2015

Contents

Dedication

Foreword

Preface

Disclaimer

Premise

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Section One

Help in Understanding Suicide

Part 1: What Is Suicide?

Part 2: Is Suicide Sin? If So, Why?

Part 3: Suicide Statistics

Part 4: Who Is Susceptible?

•   Bible Characters Who Wanted to Die Before God’s Chosen Time

•   Bible Characters Who Took Their Own Lives

•   Conclusion

Part 5: The True Cause of Suicide

Part 6: Dangerous Influences

•   World

•   Flesh

•   Devil

Part 7: Triggers

Part 8: Motives

Part 9: Symptoms

•   Actions

•   Feelings

•   Statements (similar to)

Section Two

Help in Suicide Prevention

Part 1: Short-Term Prevention

•   John’s Story

•   Dos and Don’ts of Intervention

•   Steps of Intervention

•   A Young Man’s Peril

Part 2: Long-Term Prevention

•   Dos in Fighting the World

•   Don’ts in Fighting the World

•   Dos in Fighting the Flesh

•   Don’ts in Fighting the Flesh

•   Dos in Fighting the Devil

•   Don’ts in Fighting the Devil

•   Following the Holy Spirit

Part 3: Your Ministry of Suffering

•   Recognition and Examples

•   Reality

•   Reluctance

•   Recipients

•   Reasons, Results, and Rewards

•   Reinforcements and Relief

•   Responses to Suffering

Part 4: Finding and Fulfilling Your Calling from God

Section Three

Help and Healing for Those Left Behind

Part 1: Handling Difficult Feelings

•   Shock and Disbelief

•   Guilt

•   Hurt

•   Mulling

•   Shame

•   Blame

•   Envy

•   Loneliness

Part 2: Mourning

•   Understanding Mourning

•   Sources of Comfort

•   Does a Christian Who Commits Suicide Still Go to Heaven?

•   Mourning One Who Was Likely Unsaved?

Part 3: Funeral and Final Things

•   Choosing a Funeral Home

•   Letting Folks Know

•   Funeral or No Funeral

•   Meeting with the Funeral Director

•   Planning the Funeral

•   Helps Coordinator

•   Dispersing Personal Items of Your Departed

Appendix

Part 1: Bible Principles and Promises to Comfort in Loss

Part 2: Sample Funeral Service

Part 3: Prevention Program

Dedication

This book is dedicated to the memory of my friend and former church member, Terry Adrian Mills. Terry graduated from Roanoke Baptist High School in 1990. He possessed great intellectual abilities and was extremely athletic. He had a winsome, friendly, and pleasant personality. After graduating from Pensacola Christian College, he taught a short time at our Christian school and coached our first soccer team.

I’m indebted to him for influencing me through his tragedy to write this book.

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Terry Adrian Mills

Foreword

Is it possible for a man to write an exhaustive book on a particular subject? Probably not, but Dr. James Bachman has come very close to doing just that in his book on suicide. Just taking a casual glance at the topics listed in the Table of Contents will give you an idea as to the depth of study Dr. Bachman has put into this very important subject.

The reason this book with its human author is so close to being exhaustive is because the material contained herein is based on the Bible, the only exhaustive book written on any subject. The Author of the Bible is omniscient and as such has given us complete truth in His Word. Dr. Bachman has wisely based his conclusions about this matter on God’s Word as opposed to basing them on leading psychiatrists’ and psychologists’ opinions.

Any family member whose loved one takes his own life has a difficult time understanding the matter. A pastor receiving a call for help because someone has committed suicide immediately gets a sick feeling in his stomach. There is no easy way to deal with the fallout of suicide, but Dr. Bachman’s practical suggestions are valuable and helpful for individuals left with the task of lifting up those close to the one who has taken his own life.

Are you weary of always going to books written by the unsaved on sensitive subjects such as the one that is the theme of this book? You no longer have to go to the books written by unsaved men or by those who seek to change the Bible to make it fit their findings. Scriptural, practical, and helpful truths are available in this book. I believe it would be highly advantageous for every pastor and layman to read this book.

God bless Dr. Bachman for his effort, diligence, and love put forth in this endeavor to help others.

Dr. Terry Anglea

Pastor of Faith Baptist Church

Bourbonnais, IL

Preface

As a pastor or layman you need to feel and help heal the hurts of people. Among the deepest hurts is having a loved one who is suicidal or has actually taken his own life. After helping a few families through such circumstances and seeing the suicide frequency increasing around the world, I felt God burdening me to write this book. As I began to research what was already available, I noticed that very little has been written from a strong, biblical approach.

I believe God has enabled me through much prayer, Bible study, and review of my last fifty years of ministry, to compile many long-lasting, solid helps to prevent suicide and to comfort those left behind.

Disclaimer

Suggestions made in this book are in no way to be taken as a guarantee of successful results.

Premise

Suicidal people need both short-term emergency prevention through intervention, and long-term transformation in their thinking and lifestyle. Because suicide is primarily a sin problem, God’s spiritual prevention program presented in this book is the best solution.

The devastating feelings of those left behind can best be handled by the God of all comfort and wise Scriptural counsel found in this book.

Acknowledgements

I wish to thank my wife Sharon for the countless hours spent typing this manuscript, proofing, and giving her insights. I also appreciate the urging of many friends and church members who kept encouraging me to complete this project, believing it would help save lives and heal loved ones who were left with pain created by the suicide of someone close to them.

Thanks are expressed also to a large number of people who were involved in proofing, reviewing, and making recommendations for this book. I especially wish to thank Vicky Pope, Fern Brown, and Don Mosier.

Most of all I owe my gratitude to my precious, loving, and all-wise God Who has led and helped me with His wisdom and patience to compile His truths in a way they could minister to those who need them during trying times.

Introduction

Rates of suicide have increased by 60% from the 1960s to 2012. We hear and read the statistics of this advancing problem of suicide, but it does not really hit us until someone close becomes suicidal or actually carries through with taking his own life. I have lost seven friends through this tragedy over the years.

Being in the ministry for over fifty years, I have had numerous opportunities to minister to suicidal people and to families who have suffered the pains and aftermath of losing a loved one through suicide. I thank and praise the Lord for the number of lives that have been spared and for the hurting hearts of surviving loved ones who have experienced a great measure of healing. The recent loss of a fine young man who attended our church years ago convinced me it was time to write this book.

Biblical counsel is essential in situations regarding suicide. The secular world basically just offers psychotherapy and drugs. I thank God for any good they can do. God, Who is all-wise, should not be overlooked, however. Several good Christian books have been written on this subject, but many of them spend more time on the symptoms rather than the root causes.

I still have much to learn, but the Lord has given me through experience and extensive Bible study some essential insights. Though these will not be accepted by some, they will be by others, and will thus save lives as well as bring comfort to many bereaved, as I have seen repeatedly during my ministry.

When I was about eighteen years old, I had my first personal encounter with a suicidal person. At the time I was a monument salesman for a Rock of Ages business based in Saint Johns, Michigan. My boss owned a franchise covering the central part of the state and had assigned me the Lansing area.

Following up on obituary leads, I knocked on the door of a recent widow. I introduced myself and informed the lady that I was from Saint Johns. She had a startled look on her face that I did not understand at the time. I explained that I was from a monument company in Saint Johns and simply wanted to leave some literature so that when she chose to purchase a memorial stone, I might be of some help to her.

She invited me in and started to unload her burdens on me. She had undergone several serious surgeries within the last year or so, her brother had hung himself, and then her husband got out of his car at work and fell over dead of a heart attack. In addition, she learned he had been having an affair with a woman from Saint Johns. The thought that I might have some connection with that woman was the obvious reason for her startled expression.

I excused myself and went to my car to get my Bible. Sitting down with her at the dining room table, I explained that salvation was the first necessary step toward lifting her burdens. I carefully went through God’s truths about being born again. She sweetly bowed her head and received Christ by faith as her personal Savior. Her countenance was totally changed and her heart lifted. I then gave her the next steps needed in her new Christian life, which included getting into a Bible-preaching church and reading her Bible.

It was then that she revealed her shocking plans for that afternoon. She said everything was prepared upstairs to take her life as her brother had done, but now she had something for which to live.

She also wanted to buy a monument from me. I explained that I could not sell her one because I would never want her to think I had led her to Christ to aid me in selling her a memorial stone. I therefore recommended another reputable company.

I stopped by about once a week for quite a while to see how she was doing in her new Christian life. Sometimes I brought my grandmother, who spent time discipling her while I finished my calls.

I was thrilled that God could use even a teenager like me to prevent a suicide and introduce that soul to Christ, Who in turn gave her eternal life. I learned also that salvation and surrender to Christ are essential in bringing joy and peace and fulfillment, and in preventing suicide.

My prayer is that many suicides will be prevented and many grieving hearts healed to the glory of God through the contents of this book. If I can spare just one more life or bring comfort to just one more family, the effort will be worth it.

The approach taken in this book is unashamedly Christian and Bible based. Some readers may feel there is too much Bible in this volume. Yes, you will find a lot of Scripture, but may I remind you that God’s Word is truth and that Jesus said, "… the truth shall make you free." (John 8:32b).

I will gladly compare the results of the Bible answers given in this book to the world’s answers to suicide and to helping those left behind.

I only wish I had known many years ago what I have since learned about preventing suicide and helping those with grieving hearts. I also wish I knew now the things I need yet to learn about these vital issues.

SECTION ONE

Help in Understanding Suicide

Part 1

What Is Suicide?

As I define suicide, it is basically someone prematurely and purposely taking his own life, usually for selfish reasons and in a state of depression.

It should be stated, however, that suicide is different from sacrificing one’s life for others. We have heard of brave soldiers jumping on live grenades or purposely taking enemy bullets to save the lives of their comrades. These people are considered heroes.

History’s greatest heroic act took place when Jesus Christ unselfishly and willingly laid down His righteous life for all when we were yet His enemies. For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. (Romans 5:10). Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many. (Matthew 20:28). (See also John 10:10-11.) Indeed Christ was, is, and always will be the greatest hero of all. He did not commit suicide, though He had the power not to let His life be taken.

Part 2

Is Suicide Sin? If So, Why?

Sin is the transgression of God’s law. (1 John 3:4). Under what part of God’s law does suicide fit? In Exodus chapter 20 God gives us His Ten Commandments. In verse 13 we read, Thou shalt not kill. There are ten different Hebrew words in the Old Testament that are all translated kill. The Hebrew word for kill in Exodus 20:13 is ratsach, which means murder.

What makes killing murder?—Intentional forethought and malice. We are not talking about an accidental death or even a neglectful homicide. If someone with intentional forethought attempts to take a life, it is murder in God’s eyes—which is sin. Whether one murders someone else or himself does not change the act from being a murder.

In considering suicide we must understand that, according to God, our lives are not our own. Life comes from Him. And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. (Genesis 2:7). God did not give life just to Adam, but unto each of us. Acts 17:25c says, … seeing he giveth to all life, and breath, and all things. Though God gives us life and all things to use, He does not relinquish ownership. Psalm 24:1 says, The earth is the LORD’S, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein. (See also Psalm 100:3.)

That makes us all accountable to Him for what we do with what He has given us, including our lives. So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God. (Romans 14:12). We receive life from Him first by physical birth and second by our spiritual birth. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

The Lord stands as the supreme authority when it comes to deciding life and death. Jesus said in Revelation 1:18, I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death. The ending of our lives should not be our choice, but His.

The Lord expressed His view of those who take a sacred life in Genesis 9:6, Whoso sheddeth man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man.

All living people are sacred and honorable because they were made in the image of God. The Lord is saying that the taking of someone’s life deserves the greatest punishment possible because such an action is like an attack on God Himself. Taking one’s own life is in God’s eyes no different from taking someone else’s life. It is sin at the highest level.

The act of suicide is sin!

Part 3

Suicide Statistics

Recent data from Center for Disease Control

USA Statistics

• Frequency: 40,600 U.S. suicides in 2012

• Rating: Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death and the third among youth.

• Gender: Men are about four times more likely to commit suicide.

• Race: According to percentages, whites are most likely to commit suicide, followed by American Indians and Alaskan Natives. Lower and roughly similar rates are found among Asians and Pacific Islanders, Hispanics, and Blacks.

• Age: Most likely