Menopause and the Latter Day Bride

By Sharon Longworth

I was very much aware of my failings as a Christian. Gods intent for my life was that I would be like Him; that I would be Holy as He is Holy. Is that even possible? I was constantly contending with my fleshly inclination to focus on my own self reliance and self worth. Though I had been a born again Christian for many years, I knew something wasnt quite right. I was trusting in my own ability to overcome the power of the flesh and I was failing miserably. It was only as I began to exercise faith in the power of Christ in me that I began to live as a restored descendant of Jesus instead of a fallen descendant of Adam. It is only as I am learning to submit to the will and intent of my Heavenly Husband that I am finally beginning to experience an intimate relationship with my creator God.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Aug 31, 2015
• ISBN: 9781503508972

Sharon Longworth

Sharon Longworth is a first time author who lives with her husband Andrew on the beautiful Mid North Coast of NSW Australia. They have two adult children, Nimali and Christopher. Sharon enjoys ministering in her local Baptist Church through her gift of singing. She also leads a small Bible study group in her home. Sharon’s hope and prayer is that the Latter Day Bride, (being the universal Church) will be ready to meet her Heavenly Husband Jesus when He returns to this earth to claim His Bride. Will She be a glorious Church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; holy and without blemish? Or will the Bridegroom return to find His Bride suffering with debilitating symptoms of ‘Spiritual menopause’?

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Copyright © 2015 by Sharon Longworth.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2015913268

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-5035-0899-6

                Softcover        978-1-5035-0898-9

                eBook             978-1-5035-0897-2

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 08/29/2015

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CONTENTS

Preface

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Part I.—Infancy in Christ

Chapter 1 Menopause and the Latter-Day Bride

Chapter 2 The Power of Woman

Chapter 3 Ponderings

Chapter 4 Not Flesh of My Flesh

Chapter 5 Enjoying the Milk but I Was Still Hungry

Part II—Hearing God’s Voice

Chapter 6 Learning to Hear God’s Voice (Saga 1)

Chapter 7 Learning to Hear God’s Voice (Saga 2)

Chapter 8 Learning to Hear God’s Voice (Saga 3)

PART III—Spiritual Growth

Chapter 9 My Battle with Depression

Part IV—Spiritual Menu

Chapter 10 Apply the Butter to the Bread

Chapter 11 What Has Meat Got to Do with Worship

Chapter 12 Anyone for Vegetables

Chapter 13 Top It Off with a Feast of Fruit Salad for Dessert

Part V—Spiritual Gifts

Chapter 14 The Gift of Tongues

Chapter 15 The Gift of Prophecy

Chapter 16 The Gift of Healing

Chapter 17 The Dowry of the Bride

Part VI—Spiritual Relationships

Chapter 18 Three Equals One

Chapter 19 The Root of All Evil Is Self

Chapter 20 It’s All about Relationship

Chapter 21 And the Two Shall Become One

Chapter 22 The Heavenly Husband and His Latter-Day Bride

Part VII—Finally

Chapter 23 God’s Formula

Chapter 24 The Wedding Vow

Notes

Part VIII A Collection of Song Lyrics and Poems by Sharon Longworth

Lord, Give Me a Song

Take My Hand

What More Can I Say

Imagine

I Give You All the Praise

Just a Simple Song of Praise

Do You Know Him?

Freedom in Strife

A Mother’s Heart for Her Daughter

Our Beautiful Boy

My Beautiful Daddy

DEDICATION

I wish to dedicate this book to my beautiful Dad, Don McKeough, who passed away on the 1st of January 2013. Your unswerving dedication and steadfast love for God is a lasting legacy that both you and Mum have faithfully passed on to our family. For this, we are eternally grateful to you both. Your legacy of love and faithfulness to God and to your family will continue to live on in the pages of this book. We love you Dad, and miss you more than words can say! We are so very much looking forward to seeing you again in Glory!

PREFACE

A RE YOU EXPERIENCING ‘menopausal symptoms’ as far as your ‘spiritual life’ is concerned? Have you experienced an infamous HOT FLUSH , having once been ‘on fire’ for the Lord, only to find that your relationship with Him has now somewhat fizzled to a cool e mber?

Perhaps you are experiencing MEMORY LOSS, having forgotten to some degree the ‘first love’ you had for the Lord when you first entered into a relationship with Him?

Do you have a hunger to grow in your relationship with the Lord, desiring to get to know Him more intimately through regular reading of His Word? Or are you starving yourself of sound Bible teaching, resulting in spiritual VAGUENESS?

Perhaps you suffer from spiritual INSOMNIA, lacking in the ability to ‘rest’ in the knowledge that God is in control of every aspect of your life, thus causing you to be anxious for the future?

This inability to ‘rest’ in God’s sovereignty may cause you to be worried and DEPRESSED, stealing away the joy that is meant to be yours as a redeemed child of God.

If you can relate to any or all of the above ‘symptoms’, the resulting diagnosis being SPIRITUAL MENOPAUSE, I pray as you read the pages of this book that the ‘prognosis’ for your ‘condition’ may improve. May you grow to be hungry for more of God, having a desire to invest in your relationship with Him, thus growing from INFANCY in your spiritual growth to INTIMACY with your Heavenly Husband.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I WISH TO SAY a huge thank you to my very talented niece, Emily Vergara, for designing the cover of my book. Having to choose from so many beautiful designs proved to be a very difficult task. It took us a while to discover that the Lord had the design sorted long before we did. You and He are amazing, and all your efforts are so very much appreci ated!

Thank you to ‘Nick Sim Photography’ for the back cover photo.

Thank you to my husband Andrew for your ongoing love, patience, and support in the writing of this book and to my beautiful children Nimali and Matthew, Christopher and Elisa for making our lives and my story complete. I love you heaps.

To my husband Andrew, my daughter Nimali, and my brother-in-law David, thank you from the bottom of my heart for being willing to have personal aspects of your lives exposed in the pages of this book.

A huge thank you to my mum Norma and my sister Janine for the considerable contributions that each of you have made to this project. I love and appreciate you both very much.

All praise, glory, and honour go to my Heavenly Husband Jesus, my Lord, my God, and my Saviour! Without Him, I can do nothing! Certainly without Him, this book would never have come to fruition.

INTRODUCTION

I WAS LYING in bed one morning snoozing, drifting in and out of sleep. It was when I was in a semi-conscious state that seemingly, out of nowhere, I had what I believe was a vision. I saw very clearly in my mind the w ords:

‘MENOPAUSE AND THE LATTER-DAY BRIDE’

‘Where on earth did that come from?’ was my immediate reaction. At first, I thought that perhaps this was a book that someone had already written, and for whatever reason, the Lord wanted me to read it. I was after all, experiencing menopausal symptoms at the time and could maybe benefit from some information on the subject.

I decided to do a search online in the hope that such a book existed. You guessed it. No such book to be found. Then it occurred to me …

‘Surely the Lord would not be suggesting that I should write the book!’ Surely not! I mean to say, I know very little about menopause except for the fact that it is disgusting (she says as she is wreathed temporarily in a lather of perspiration, feeling as though her blood is literally boiling inside her veins). In fact, if you picked up this book in the hope of becoming better informed from a medical perspective on the subject of menopause, then I am sorry but you are going to be sorely disappointed. In fact, I have very limited knowledge about most things in life, let alone having some profound insight into the physical anatomy and why it does such inappropriate and downright humiliating things to a woman as she approaches the ‘latter’ end of her life here on this earth. My education ended halfway through Year Ten. What would I know about such things that could be of benefit to anybody else?

Yet here I am. That almost annoying nudge just kept urging me on. That nudge and still small voice that says, ‘You can do it. Just write down your story.’

‘Such as it is,’ I say.

So here I am, entirely reliant on the Lord and His leading, eagerly waiting to see what ends up on the page.

‘What on earth has menopause got to do with the Latter-Day Bride?’ you may ask … as did I.

It could also be that you are asking yourself, ‘Who in fact is the Latter-Day Bride?’

OK, so to briefly answer the ‘latter’ part of this question, the ‘latter day’ refers to the age or time that we are currently living in and that is ‘the Church Age’ – the time appointed by God between the first coming of Jesus as a baby born in Bethlehem over 2,000 years ago to when He will return to this earth again as the King of kings and Lord of lords. He will come again with the purpose of fully establishing and ruling over His new kingdom.

The ‘bride’ refers to ‘the Church’ as a whole. The Church being God’s chosen people.

To simplify this even further, if you have accepted Jesus to be your Lord and Saviour, then in the fullness of time, at the end of this age, you will be presented to Him as His Bride. You, (along with the rest of His church) are His Bride!

The big question is, ‘In what state will He find you when He returns to this earth to take you to be His Bride and to fully establish His new kingdom with you by His side?’ Will He return to find you ‘menopausal’? Or will He find you adorned with precious ‘jewels’, eagerly waiting to be presented to your adoring Heavenly Husband, longing to spend the rest of eternity with Him?

PART I

Infancy in Christ

CHAPTER 1

Menopause and the Latter-Day Bride

For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth. (Isa. 54:5)

W ELL, I AM sure you are wondering what on earth menopause has to do with the Latter-Day Bride(the Latter-Day Bride being God’s chosen people, the Church). I have to say, I wondered the same thing. In fact, after deliberating for some time over what the Lord would have me say on this topic, I have quickly come to the conclusion that menopause is not a subject that I feel particularly comfortable talking about. However, as I believe it was the Lord who instigated the writing of this book, I have to concede to the fact that His ways are not my ways , and so I press on despite my discom fort.

I am afraid that just to mention the word menopause may cause some to cringe. To make comparisons between menopause and the church may even seem totally inappropriate, causing considerable concern and offence. Menopause is, after all, a time in a woman’s life that is very personal and, quite frankly, not a very nice experience for most.

As I mentioned in my introduction, it is not my intent in writing this book to broach the subject of menopause from a medical point of view. It has simply occurred to me that as we approach the end of this age, that is, the time that Jesus referred to in Matthew 13: 49, and as we draw closer to His second coming to earth, that the relationship between the menopausal wife and her husband may be comparable to the relationship between the Latter-Day Bride and her Heavenly Husband. As previously noted, the Latter-Day Bride is you and I, the Church.

So I hope you will bear with me as I attempt to share my thoughts on this topic. Please be aware that I have not gained any formal theological training. Therefore, I do not claim to speak from a position of authority on any subject covered in these pages. I am simply hoping to relate to you my own thoughts and experiences as I have walked this spiritual journey thus far.

*     *     *

Allow me briefly to share my perceptions on how it may be that the marriage relationship between a husband and wife may be impacted by the onslaught of menopause.

As a woman enters into this menopausal season of life, she may have a sense that her best years of life are quickly fading. At least, she will more than likely be experiencing changes in her body which indicate that her days of youth have passed her by. Her reproductive organs are seemingly no longer productive and thus her child-bearing days are very likely over.

She has to contend with the many insidious symptoms of menopause, such as those infamous hot flushes (or flashes, as some call them), bouts of profuse perspiration, vagueness, memory loss, dizziness, and insomnia, just to name a few. The changes in her body may cause her to feel that she is no longer able to physically please her husband as she did when she was young and blossoming. It may seem as though her blossom has withered, causing her to feel unattractive and undesirable.

Though she loves her husband and longs to be able to fulfil his needs and satisfy his desires, she seems to have lost her ability to respond in a positive manner to his attempts at intimacy. As much as she desperately tries to will herself to reciprocate his advances of affection towards her, she seems to be emotionally, physically, and mentally incapable of doing so. As much as she loves him, that spark of passion just will not ignite. She feels defeated. She begins to wonder whether she will ever be able to revive that fizzling spark ever again.

I’m afraid as I sit here writing this book that I cannot escape the fact that this is my story. I have to own it, as embarrassing as that is. Yes, the description of the menopausal woman above is actually describing my experience, but I suspect that you already knew that. I have to say that to put on display to the world or, to those of you reading this book at least, the intimate details of my relationship with my husband and how our personal lives are affected due to the onslaught of my menopausal condition is not something that I feel particularly comfortable with.

I can only hope that my readers will be able to relate to what I have to say and hopefully benefit as this book unfolds as a result of me sharing my experiences. Please rest assured that only a very small portion of this book actually refers to my menopausal issues. In fact, this first chapter will be about the extent of it. Just thought I’d better mention that in case you were tempted to put the book down before reading any further.

Now in light of what I have already written, for any of my family and friends reading this, in case you may be thinking that it might be necessary to recommend to Andrew and myself a marriage counsellor, I would like to express that we are still very happily married. The love that we had for each other when we were first married has not diminished. In fact, it has grown stronger and our commitment to our marriage covenant has never wavered. No, love or a lack thereof is not the issue here.

In fact, everything I have to say on this subject is based on an assumption that all covenant relationships are built on a foundation of love, though I guess there can be exceptions to this rule. However, for the most part and to keep things in context, I am sure we would all agree that love is the essential ingredient in any marriage. It is paramount that love is reciprocated between both the husband and wife in order for a marriage to be satisfying and successful. However, it seems to me from a biblical perspective that the main onus for love within a marriage falls on the shoulders of the Husband.

25. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26. that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27. that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. (Eph. 5: 25–29)

Before you begin accusing me of only telling half the story, yes there is more to this passage that applies to the responsibility of the wife within a marriage. However, at this point, I simply need to affirm and assume the love of a husband for his wife.

So as I broach this subject of ‘Menopause and the Latter-Day Bride’, I ask the following question: How is it that the relationship between a husband and wife may be impacted by the onslaught of menopause?

What it all boils down to, I believe, is this:

The desires and intent of a loving husband are undermined and thwarted by his bride’s battle with the flesh.

Does this sound familiar by any chance? I am going to assume here that others can relate to the above statement. Whether it is applicable to your earthly marriage or your relationship with your Heavenly Husband, I suspect that there are others who can relate to this feeling of being totally defeated by the flesh, the feeling of not being able to live up to what is expected of us when it comes to pleasing and satisfying our husbands.

As I have struggled with this dilemma of wanting to satisfy my husband’s desires, yet knowing that I fall a long way short of fully pleasing him, I have had to face up to the fact that the problem is not with my husband but with me, his bride. I have known that something had to change in order to re-establish an intimate relationship with my husband, and this time the onus is on me.

It all comes down I believe, to choice. Do I, the menopausal bride, choose to satisfy the desires of my husband? Or do I choose to satisfy the desires of my own flesh?

This brings me back to the passage in Ephesians chapter 5: 22–24, where we find the answer to my dilemma I believe. Though some may choose to disagree and even refute what the apostle Paul is suggesting in this passage:

22. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Saviour of the body. 24. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

According to God’s instruction, through the apostle Paul, I, the bride, must choose to surrender my own will to the will of my husband. I am to be subjected to my husband’s authority over me. I need to learn to practice selfless submission to my husband’s desires and intentions towards me!

Ouch!

For all you women liberationists out there – double ouch!

May I be the first to admit that this is so much easier said than done?

CHAPTER 2

The Power of Woman

I AM INTRIGUED BY the follo wing:

At the very end of chapters 26 and 27 in Genesis, the very first book of the Bible, reference is made to Esau’s two wives. Their names are Judith and Basemath. It is noted that these two wives of Esau caused much grief to Esau’s parents, Isaac and Rebekah. We are told that Isaac and Rebekah experienced grief in both mind and spirit because of their two daughters-in-law. Rebekah even goes so far as to say that if her other son Jacob marries a woman such as these, that ‘Life will not be worth living’.

There is no other mention of these two women anywhere else in these chapters. We are left wondering what they did to cause such grief to their parents-in-law. Whatever it was, it certainly had a huge impact on the lives of the people around them.

After reading about these wives, I was reminded of another wife who had a major impact on others. Her story is also told in Genesis. You may have guessed that I am referring to Eve, the wife of Adam, the very first man and woman that God created.

I was thinking about the influence that these women had on the people around them. In the case of Eve, her actions had an impact on the whole world. As I was contemplating this, I sensed in my spirit that the Lord had something to say to me about this influential woman so I asked Him about it. I believe the Lord impressed upon my mind through His Holy Spirit the following words: Eve was an instrument of choice.

This I believe is in reference to the part that Eve played in the fall of mankind. She was instrumental in exercising her free will, choosing to be disobedient to God’s instructions. It was her influence over her husband, along with the evil deception of Satan that caused grief and devastation to come upon themselves and the rest of mankind.

In the case of Judith and Basemath, their actions caused Isaac and Rebekah to be grieved in both mind and spirit. As I was thinking about the significance of this, I came to the following conclusion. I believe this reference to Judith and Basemath is, in fact, prophetic, pointing towards the adverse effect that free will has had on mankind. I believe the reference to the mind can be likened to, or equated to, the flesh or physical body of mankind. Likewise, the reference to the spirit is obviously indicative of the spirit of mankind.

As a result of Eve exercising her free will, being an instrument of choice, choosing through disobedience to live independently of God and His purposes, both the flesh and the spirit of mankind were doomed to experience grief, devastation, and ultimately death.

It seemed that Eve dominated her husband, overpowering him through persuasive means, convincing him to give in to his fleshly desires and ultimately making the choice to eat of the fruit that God had forbidden them to eat.

Their disobedience resulted in the breakdown of relationships between themselves and their creator God. God created Adam and Eve and all of mankind for the purpose of living in complete harmony and unity with Him. It was all about relationship. In the perfect Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve had experienced intimate, one-on-one communion with God. Devastatingly, when Eve took matters into her own hands as an instrument of choice, she succeeded in causing a major rift in the relationship between God and His creation, ultimately bringing about the downfall and destruction of mankind. Their union with God was severed, and they were separated from Him.

God had specifically said:

You must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it