Dream Diary

By Ben Sheldon

Ben Sheldons diary, which he kept over many years, takes you on a series of fascinating, fantastic, and unusual adventures that he enjoyedor suffered throughwhile sleeping.

He also shares the dreams of a former roommate, Adrian, who he lived with from 1971 to 1973.

Sheldon recorded his own dreams shortly after waking up, and hed listen to Adrians tales during morning chats while they were fresh in his memory. Some of the dreams are hilarious, others are disturbing, and some are downright unusual.

In one dream, Adrian is at a party when he passes Sonny and Cher having sex on top of a piano. The scene irks him so much that he says, How could you do this, with all these people watching? Sonny nonchalantly continues with his sex act, but they both seem bored. Cher is even chewing gum and blowing bubbles.

In another dream, the author finds himself in a drug-infested ghetto. All of a sudden, someone rushes over to him trying to give him a fix. He stumbles around before leaving in a hurry.

Whether you study, interpret, and evaluate dreams or want to enjoy a series of unexpected adventures, youll love the Dream Diary.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Aug 26, 2016
• ISBN: 9781491796146

Ben Sheldon

Ben Sheldon got a bachelor's degree from England and a Master's degree from Massachusetts. He has lived in Europe and the US, and traveled in four continents. For the past several years, Sheldon has lived in the San Francisco Bay Area. IDEA of the Book: Whenever an original story idea would cross his mind, he would write it down, for a possible future novel, etc. So many story plots accumulated in Sheldon's notebooks, that he "would have needed nine lives to use them all up". He added: "Not being in the cat family, I decided to let other writers have a go at it". The result is this useful book, as a writers' quarry to excavate for their find.

Book preview

SECTION I

DREAMS OF ADRIAN

January 5, 1972

Pittsburgh, PA

Dream 1:

NURSE FORCED OFF THE TRAIN

Adrian was riding a train, traveling to a party. There was a registered nurse (SRN) in the train. She held a ticket that was half the cost of the trip she was taking. Nevertheless, this nurse kept saying: It don’t matter, because I’m a state registered nurse. When Adrian heard that, he said to her: don’t worry honey, I’ll handle it."

Adrian went to the station manager and told him about the nurse’s problem. The manager replied, in no uncertain words, that there was nothing he could do about it. He added: She must go halfway and hitchhike from there.

Exactly half way to the SRN’s destination, the poor nurse was forced off the train. She had her cap and uniform on. Stepping off the train, the nurse turned to Adrian, and said: You handled it alright! Adrian replied, thoughtfully: Next time, do travel with full fare, even if you ride in third class.

Dream 2:

ENCOUNTER WITH SONNY AND CHER

Suddenly Adrian was at a party, where they were making sandwiches. The breads for these sandwiches were colored. Some were pink; others were blue or green. Adrian helped himself to a couple of the sandwiches, and then sat down. There was a dog sitting about five yards away from Adrian, and was looking at his sandwiches. Very furtively, he put the sandwiches in his pocket, so that the dog would not see them. Soon the dog moved, and sat next to him. Adrian decided to pat a skinny boy, who was sitting next to him. The boy did not like that at all, and got very angry. So Adrian got up and went off to another room.

But there, only one chair was available, and a number of other people were aiming to grab it. Adrian looked elsewhere, and found a vacant chair in another room. It was a great Victorian chair with curly, knobby bits. He remarked to an attendant: Why don’t they have collapsible chairs here? Adrian carried this rare chair, and walked back with it to the first room, where the dog was. With the chair on his arm, he noticed a friendly girl, and asked her to dance. She was bald and had a big puffy tartan dress on. While dancing the Charleston, she said to Adrian: Why don’t you leave the chair on the floor and dance without it? He replied: It will be snatched up; besides, halfway through the dance I’ll get tired, and I plan to rest on it. His dancing partner just stormed off in a huff.

Later, Adrian walked past a big black grand piano. He was shocked to see Sonny having sex with Cher, on top of this piano. He shuffled curiously past them, still carrying the chair. The scene irked Adrian so much, that he said to them: How could you do this, with all these people watching? Sonny nonchalantly continued with his sex act, while talking back to Adrian. Then suddenly, Sonny sneezed in Adrian’s face. It did not look like a deliberate insulting sneeze, which he immediately followed by saying: Ah, well it’s the job, isn’t it?! Both Sonny and Cher looked terribly bored. Cher was even chewing gum and blowing bubbles.

January 8, 1972

Pittsburgh, PA

RED INDIANS WITH ARROWS

Adrian was in this lovely house, and was surrounded by Red Indians. There, he thought to himself: Their arrows are so exotic and the feathers are real pretty as well.

Suddenly Adrian’s sister, Myrna, appeared, ‘poof’, like a magician. She quickly went on her hands and knees, picking up the arrows, while saying: Aren’t they pretty, Adrian?! She then told Adrian of her idea: Let’s take some for souvenirs. Suddenly ‘poof’ Myrna disappeared with the arrows. Adrian was miffed, and thought to myself: selfish pig! All she wants is the arrows, while the armed natives got closer to me!

January 9, 1972

Pittsburgh, PA

SHOW-OFF CUSTOMER

In the dream, Adrian was selling shoes—not the cheap types. A customer wanted size 12-1/2A, which is meant for very narrow feet. To Adrian, the client might as well be wearing ice skates. During the transaction, the customer was boasting about his international trips, and the foreign tongues he could speak. Very quickly, Adrian got bored, especially when the guy started talking about his adventures in Egypt, and all that stuff. Having been in Egypt himself, Adrian let him know that fast. Right there and then, the client started to babble in Arabic—fluently it seemed. Here, Adrian had to admit that he could not respond in that kind of fluency in Arabic.

The buyer then said: Ah well, have you been to Greece? Adrian took up the challenge and replied: Yes. It was a big mistake, Adrian recalled! For the man then rambled on, in apparent flawless Greek. Interrupting him, Adrian timidly said: I was only there for a couple of months. Adrian thought he would catch the guy off guard, by changing the topic and injecting a surprise notion, saying: Have you been to Kowloon? Without batting an eyelid, the show-off man rattled smoothly in Cantonese! Adrian was now aware that there were other people around him, eavesdropping. To his embarrassment, they began to laugh, making him feel so utterly stupid, using his own words.

In an attempt to redeem himself, in front of these strangers, Adrian began to babble in his own invented made-up double-dutch talk. What language is that? asked the chastened show-off guy. Adrian haughtily replied: I learned it from the people of the Amazon. The guy went purple with rage, and stormed out, carrying his size 12-1/2 A shoes.

January 28, 1972

Pittsburgh, PA

DORIS DAY MOPPING FLOORS

In this dreamy episode, Adrian was living in a room on the ground floor of a converted house. Going down the hallway, he saw Doris Day. To his shocking surprise, she was mopping up wet areas of the hallway floor. Still, Adrian could not muster the courage to talk to such a movie star. He was comfortable associating with women, who resembled his mother, even though she was always drunk. He met such a woman at the end of the hallway. He chatted with her, then she went into the ladies room.

Later, Adrian visited this lady in her room. She was in bed, with wet clothes all over the bed, hung to dry, with water dripping over her. Adrian urged her to get out of there, before she caught a bad cold or even pneumonia. The woman loved this attention very much, because she was always lonely. Adrian put her up in his own room.

Later, Adrian got into a black sedan car and drove to a popular funfair. His driving was surreal; he went up a road, and then drove backwards. After that, he just went round and round in a circle. A little later, he drove sideways up a wall. In the end, somehow, he reached the funfair. There, in a distance, he noticed several airplanes high in the sky. They were stationary, stuck on top of long poles that were planted in the ground. The planes were going round and round and round, on top of the poles.

After a while, Adrian found himself driving passengers in a station wagon. Suddenly he heard a lot of screaming and bitching. Sure enough they had come off the planes, and walked in circles, swiveling sideways and doing flips. Adrian was drunk, while driving this vehicle. Then he immediately stopped the car, when he almost crashed into a railroad stop sign. The sudden braking of the station wagon brought all the passengers to the front seats, neatly sitting like they were always there. Adrian asked someone to drive for him. An older man of 40-odd years came up to him, unbuckled his safety belt, and kissed Adrian on the nose. Adrian said: Ooh, you got bad breath. Another person said to Adrian: Are you sure you can drive?! He then added: l felt safer in that airplane than in this damn car of yours!

Then Adrian dropped off to sleep, in the dream.

February 8, 1972

Pittsburgh, PA

KING KONG ENCOUNTER

This night, Adrian dreamed he was riding a motor bike. Suddenly, King Kong picked him up, with the bike stuck to him. He pleaded to the giant gorilla:

Don’t drop me! Don’t drop me! as if Kong could understand English.

King Kong looked at him, kind of naughty, and half closed his eyes, being cheeky, in Adrian’s words. He then dropped Adrian, not realizing he could fly. When the gorilla saw that, he became angry and destructive. Adrian spread out his arms and somehow was able to fly in the air. There were people around, staring at Adrian in awe, and applauding. He just drifted down like a feather, and landed softly on his feet. He then pushed everyone out of the way, and ran to a nearby restaurant, to bacon strips, which boosted his flying. Later he left the restaurant, still chewing on his bacon, and walked about in the street. Suddenly, behind him, he heard the sound of giant earth-shaking footsteps: tramp, tramp, tramp. Sure enough, King Kong was chasing him. Right then, Adrian came across a salon there. He quickly stepped into this establishment.

Looking out of the salon’s window, Adrian saw this giant gorilla peering into the window, with such loving eyes, like he was gay, and exhibiting peaceful intentions. The salon workers and clients urged me to stay inside, as the hairy monster stared through the window. When King Kong noticed Adrian inside, the gorilla winked. It was then that all the jealous gay hairdressers sang to Adrian, in a chorus:

What have you got that we don’t have?!

Adrian quickly responded: Whatever I’ve got you can gladly have!

All this time, the gorilla was looking through the window, and making loud slurping noises. Then Adrian raced along a corridor, inside the salon, when suddenly he fell through a hatch in the floor, and was sucked away—to wake up from sleep.

February 20, 1972

Pittsburgh, PA

JEAN SIMMONS & STEWART GRANGER

In this winter night, Adrian dreamed that Hollywood was producing a biographical movie about his family. Central Casting picked Jean Simmons for the role of Adrian’s mother. The part of Adrian was played by himself. In this scene, Adrian was walking across a spacious prison courtyard, with Jean Simmons, as his mom while reciting lines from the script. They had just visited Adrian’s brother in prison, and were weeping, after leaving him in his jail cell.

Adrian had rehearsed very hard for this part. They walked very slowly across the courtyard, with their heads in their cupped hands, and crying while saying their respective lines.

Don’t worry, mother. Everything will be alright, Adrian rehearsed this and other lines over and over again. He thought his performance was Oscar level, after the hard practice.

Then Adrian looked up from his cupped hands, to say more lines, but Jean Simmons was no longer with him. Stewart Granger had arrived at the set. He was not cast in the movie, but dropped in anyway, just to talk to Jean Simmons.

Adrian got very angry. Standing defiantly, with his legs apart, he screamed: Fuck the lot of you! and rushed to the nearest exit. They all started chasing after him. The pursuing crowd included the cameraman and the director, who still firmly held his pipe in his mouth.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a gust of wind, swept Adrian up. Soon he was soaring in the sky, like a kite. An Irish policeman inexplicably appeared and noticed Adrian flying up there. This cop could not believe his eyes. He quickly rubbed them and looked again at Adrian in the sky. Instantly, the policeman made an about turn, and walked away like Charlie Chaplin, disappearing as a speck.

Meanwhile, high-flying Adrian got caught in telegraph wires, and found himself bouncing about on these cables. Eventually, he landed in a flophouse, where he woke up from a deep sleep.

March 8, 1972

Pittsburgh, PA

Dream 1:

ADVENTURES WITH DOM DELUISE

In this dreamy vision, Adrian and Ben (author) were living 50 stories high, in a block of apartments. Adrian was at home doing the cooking. Ben returned home from work. He heard Ben laughing in the hallway. Adrian thought to himself: He’s at it again! When the door opened, Dom DeLuise, the famous comedian, stood right next to Ben, in the doorway.

Dom’s first words were: Adrian, honey, do you mind if I use your window? Adrian replied: You mean you need to use the bathroom? Dom had to elaborate: No. I need to go out of your window, down to my place! I’m locked out. All this time Dom was nudging Ben and squeezing his rear. Adrian said: Do you have a rope or something like that, to slide down my window, onto your apartment?

That is when Dom took out a spool of thread, and said: I got this! Adrian gasped: This won’t even hold a spider. Dom retorted: But this is my own invention. As soon as the weather gets to it, moisture thickens it like a rope.

So Dom slid out of Adrian’s window, slipped down his funny thread, and entered his own apartment. Two minutes later, Dom was back up in our apartment, but through the front door. He was carrying a great big, round Chinese basket. All this time, Ben’s dinner was ready. Ben said to Dom: Shall we?! Dom replied, British style: Qyoo (thank you), and both minced down the hallway, arm-in-arm. Ben had all the washing in a polka dot pillow case. Looking out of the window, fifty stories high, Adrian saw two little dots skipping down the road, looking the size of ants, from up there.

Ben was away for half an hour, but Adrian got fed up waiting. Suddenly, a fireman’s pole appeared in the apartment, and Adrian slid down this pole. In no time, he was at street level. He ran all the way to the Laundromat. There he grabbed Dom DeLuise by the arm, and threw him over the folding table, using a judo hold. Then Adrian grabbed Ben and said: Common! Let’s go! Ben refused to leave Dom alone. He added: I want to help Dom.

So Ben put Dom inside the Chinese basket, and hailed a cab to drive home, with Dom in the basket.

Dream 2:

UGLY DWARFS

There were two dwarfs, in this nightmare. Both midgets were ugly, with horrible faces, and exhibited big teeth. They cruelly frightened everybody. One dwarf came right up to Adrian, and grinned with his unsightly teeth. Still, Adrian was not frightened, when he suddenly realized that the midget was human too. One dwarf said to Adrian: Why don’t you run away like the others? Adrian replied: Because I’m not afraid of you. Adrian then kissed the dwarf on the cheek. Instantly, the midget turned into a tall and handsome guy.

October 15, 1972

Chicago, IL

SEX AT 80 MPH

This night’s dream brought Adrian to a hotel foyer (lobby). There was a man tending the desk, as Adrian went up to him and said: Mr. Cox, how are you? The man turned away, with a mundane haughty look, and ignored the question. Adrian felt very hurt, and went to the middle of the foyer, and sat down on the carpet. Just then, Adrian noticed that the desk attendant became magically weightless, and wafted down, like a leaf settling down after a breeze. He landed on the foyer floor, next to Adrian.

Finally your conscience got around to pinching you, Adrian said. With an alluring look, the man said: Would you like to come for a ride? Adrian thought to himself: Rolls Royce is a boring thing. He then replied: Ya, I will. Both then got up and made their way to the front door. Instead of a shiny new car, Adrian was astonished to see a motor cycle, though new and modern, with some weird features. It had an elongated front wheel. On top of it, was a camping bed with big red tartan covers.

What on earth is that? Adrian was anxious to know. The guy replied, with a sexy voice : That’s my boudoir bicycle! and added: jump in. Adrian did. No sooner Adrian was under the bed covers, when the man started to ravage Adrian, who added: Not in front of the hotel, surely! The doorman and the lodging guests were all looking on. This once-deskman kick-started his motorbike. Shortly, they were zooming at 80 mph, while in bed clothes, under a square blanket. This blanket was held in place by six-foot poles. Along the road, passengers in passing buses could see the two having sex. They were all in straw hats and tourist outfits, pointing and laughing at them.

Adrian and newly-found partner arrived at a park. The paved walkway here were strewn with cut glass and broken bottles. Around, the landscape was covered with jade, emeralds, rubies, pearls, amethysts and every other conceivable precious stone. Adrian and his colleague had to walk on the cut-glass walkway, to reach the