Beyond Self Help: A Journey to Be Better

By Eric L. Johnson Ph.D.

This book is intended to provide a guide to exploring a more meaningful life than we otherwise might have in its absence. Not because the author knows or understands more, but because the author invites the reader to grow in as many ways she or he finds important and relevant. Certainly this may not be a journey that is for everyone, some may find that it contradicts some fundamental beliefs the reader holds dear, in which case it may not be as helpful as intended. In addition, this guide requires a level of humility, effort (intellectual, psychological, spiritual etc.,) and self-evaluation that may be more than some are willing to invest. There is no short cut to embarking on a journey that leaves the world better because we were here. The challenges and questions introduced in this book are no less perplexing for the author as they may be for the reader. There are a plethora of methods available to each of us to employ for self- improvement at any given time. This book is offered as an available aide to individual growth and development. Hopefully this piece encourages a pattern of inquiry that leads the reader to experience life with a joy that resonates from within. Moreover, it is the intention of this work to support the finding of a deep sense meaning and peace that exist totally unconnected to the material world. It is the hope of this author that each reader sees not only who we are when we look in the mirror but also be encouraged to imagine who we could be.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 30, 2014
• ISBN: 9781503524804

Eric L. Johnson Ph.D.

Dr. Eric Johnson was born and raised in Chicago, IL and as a youth he experienced many of the challenges faced by young Black males in large cities; drugs, poverty, gangs, violence, teenage parenthood and educational trials chief among them. As an adult he has had to endure a variety of the common tribulations confronted by many: including divorce, financial hardship, and familial sufferings. This book is offered as a testimony that life is not about weathering the storm, its more about dancing in the rain. He writes this book to encourage others to seek a deep sense of peace and joy that can only be experienced by pursuing our better selves and encouraging the people we share space with to do the same.

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Copyright © 2015 by Eric L. Johnson, Ph.D.

Library of Congress Control Number:      2014922150

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-5035-2481-1

      Softcover      978-1-5035-2482-8

      eBook      978-1-5035-2480-4

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,

recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

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Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 12/30/2014

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CONTENTS

This Book Is Dedicated To Two Very Special People

Purpose

I:    Who Am I? The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

II:    Am I My Choices or Are My Choices a Reflection of Me?

III:    Wanting Things We Don’t Need and Needing Things We Don’t Want

IV:    The Responsibility I Have to Myself

V:    My Spiritual Anchor

VI:    The Essence of Existence Itself: Relationship

VII:    The Difference between Love and Nice

Closing Thoughts

Conception

The journey to find or understand one’s purpose often seems a daunting task that invites us to go to no place in particular. In fact, oftentimes the older we get, the more we implicitly and tacitly give up because secretly we come to the heartbreakingly sober and wrong conclusion that we maybe we don’t have one. Each day we accept that reality some piece of us goes dormant until, like a plant without water, it slowly withers away and dies a stunningly quiet, uneventful, and anonymous death. While there are those among us who are blessed enough to believe they know with absolute certainty why they are here, what of the rest of us—those of us who don’t know, don’t believe, or may not even care? Going beyond ideas of self-help is important because these ideas often suggest the existence of a purpose that for many of us at best we question and at worst we simply don’t believe. This journey invites us to not claim we understand but work for a better understanding. At any given moment all any of us could ever be is just better, and working to be better is a purpose unto itself. Better at what? is the most obvious question—better at being you. Once we embark on a journey that invites us to be better men, women, fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, husbands, wives, spirits, and human beings, we find in ourselves a sense meaning that has the power to transform our lives, our families, and the world. Such is a journey called Beyond Self-Help: A Journey to Be Better.

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Lorraine Stewart

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My Grandfather

THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO

TWO VERY SPECIAL PEOPLE

The first person this book is dedicated to is Lorraine Stewart, better known as Bee, a family member, a lifelong friend, a mentor, a big sister, a caretaker, and so much more. While at fifty she left us far too soon, I am so grateful to have spent my entire life in connection to her. I wish for every human being on the planet to have a Bee in their life—a person who brings people together, speaks truth with love, and gives more than they take and a spirit that leaves the world better than they found it. While her energy continues to flow through her family and friends, it is always with a heavy heart that we acknowledge her passing and a smile that we honor her memory. The spiritual composure she summoned in her last days continues to fill my spirit with awe and wonder, and it inspires me to share her story for the rest of my time here. While I am clear she is in a better place, no one who loves her will be quite right until we are