The Brighter Side of Woe
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About this ebook
My doctor told me my nose had a deviated septum, which meant it was crooked inside and its outside was a perfect match. My nose was so crooked it looked as if I was always trying to smell something on my left cheek, so I kept that side of my face extra clean so people wouldnt get the wrong idea.
Patrick Patrick
Patrick is native of Salt Lake City, Utah, where he has lived since his birth in 1943. He graduated from High School and attended Trade Colleges specializing in brick masonry, welding, and cosmetology. Yes, he was a licensed hairdresser, plus a firearms dealer at one time, but he remained an employee of a local copper smelter where he worked for over thirty-five years before contracting cancer. He was forced to retire. Patrick remains optimistic about his disease and enjoys the little things in life, which are often overlooked and not appreciated for their significance and beauty. He holds that: “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder—who has watchful eyes.” His hobbies are collecting antique guns, pocketknives, padlocks, and clown dolls, which he feels are a reflection of his inner-self. He has written three books (this being his third) on woe’s lighter side, entitled “Humorous Tales of Woe” (winner of the 2004 League of Utah Writers prestigious Golden Quill Award), “More Humorous Tales of Woe” (2006 League of Utah Writers Publication Award) and this, his most recent “The Brighter Side of Woe.” All his stories are true and actual experiences he’s had in his life. While reading them, you may ask yourself, “How can one person be so susceptible to such humorous tales of woe?” Patrick asks, “Isn’t everyone?”
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The Brighter Side of Woe - Patrick Patrick
2015 Patrick Patrick. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
Published by AuthorHouse 04/13/2015
ISBN: 978-1-5049-0591-6 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-5049-0590-9 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2015905441
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,
and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
Contents
A Closer Look
Pins and Needles
Problem Solutions
Eye – yi – yi!
A Nose Is a Nose, Is a Nose
Stoned
The Diet
Itchy Back
Left Holding the Bag
Diaper Derby
Radioactive Waste
How Do You Feel?
In Parting
About The Author
This book is dedicated to my sister, Sherry, who encouraged me throughout my life, and who is also a cancer survivor. And to my son, David, and his wife, Jolene, for their help and support in my writing efforts.
C – is for the chemotherapy I’ve gone through.
A – is for the anguish I did feel.
N – is for the nauseating side effects.
C – is for the costs, which seemed unreal.
E – is for the energy that I lost.
R – is for the radiation therapy.
Put them all together they spell ‘cancer’, but having cancer hasn’t got the best of me!
A CLOSER LOOK
I FELT COMPLETELY DEVASTATED WHEN THE doctor told me I’d contracted cancer and had to be operated on as soon as possible. I wasn’t prepared for what was to follow, but then, who really prepares themselves for something as dreadful as cancer treatment and its humbling side eff ects.
My doctor tried to comfort me by saying, Patrick, the medical field has made great strides in controlling cancer and we’ll do all we can to see you through this.
He was a skilled physician and a knowledgeable man, but he failed to mention the way I looked at life was about to change dramatically (drama being the key word). I had but two choices of roles I could assume in this General Hospital production: One was of the cancer victim-in-treatment. The other was that of the deceased! I chose to play the victim-in-treatment role because I wasn’t ready (just yet) to leave this soap opera we call Life.
The following months, I went through several operations before the greatest part of the malignancy was removed from my body. The remaining residual cancer fragments were to be engaged through chemo and radiation therapy, in hope of preventing its spread. My classification of cancer is known to be very resistant and fast spreading, but with the help of understanding and caring radiation therapists it’s been brought under control—for now.
No one knows exactly how long it will be before the old rust demon (my name for cancer) becomes hungry and begins its feeding frenzy again. But, I’ll tell you something; I’m not wasting one more minute of my life by fretting or worrying about what’s to come. I’ve already done enough of that, and enough’s enough!
It wasn’t easy to control my thinking, but it was the most comforting and rewarding thing I’ve ever done for