One Man's Journey

By Denny Taylor

Part One is one of betrayal and a path that leads into darkness. The path traces the authors life from sixteen to twenty-seven years old, and starts with the first two women he dated. He was Catholic then, and lonely.

Part Two chronicles his time with Carolyn: how they met, how the Lord transferred all the love he had for the first woman he dated to Carolyn. Its about how she gave him four wonderful children, only to find out she had cancer when the last child was born. This is about how he lost everythingeven his belief in the Lord. But he kept a promise that his late wife asked of him: Keep the kids all together, under your roof, and take them to Sunday school and church. If you do those two things, the Lord will forgive all the rest.

Part Three tells of how he meets his present wife of thirty-two years and how she married into a family that had four kidswhen she only had one. It visits how they started and built their business through the years. It also tells of the hurt and pain that came with the death of two sons, and how the man did not get angry with the Lord, despite how little help he received from his family.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Oct 15, 2015
• ISBN: 9781512713855

Denny Taylor

Denny Taylor is an electrician who works in commercial and industrial construction. He owned a business with his present wife for almost thirty years, but they realized they could not live the sometimes deceitful life that business demanded. It would be a dishonest life without God. He now lives in Sumner, Washington.

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PART 1

Twelve Years of Darkness

CHAPTER 1

How Will I Know When I Have Met the Right Girl?

It was 1958. I was attending catechism classes at Our Lady Queen of Heaven Church in Spanaway, Washington. Father Grier was the parish priest. After I was confirmed, I took additional religious classes—an indication of my commitment to my faith at the time. It was during one of these classes that the father answered my fateful question regarding marriage.

Denny, you will meet a young Catholic girl; she will be beautiful. She’s not anyone you know now. When you first see her, you will fall totally in love with her. It will be the Lord who has brought her to you. You must become friends with her first. Then you will be married, and as a couple, you will accept Jesus as the head of your marriage.

I was encouraged by my priest’s insights, particularly when he went on to say, You will lead a productive, wonderful life and enjoy a long marriage. Yes, there will be some hardships along the way, but through the hardships will come more faith in Jesus.

His words were burned into my mind.

As time went on, Johnny, my aunt Myrna’s husband-to-be, began to talk about the head games really good-looking girls played with guys. Johnny seemed worldly where women were concerned, and I took his observations on the opposite sex to heart. My grandma, whose observations on life I respected, talked to me along the same lines. I really didn’t understand. The women I had grown up with—my mother and both of my grandmothers, as well as my aunts—were not women who played games. So what was I to expect? I brought the question to my grandpa, who laid out for me a head game that he expected I might encounter. He told of girls who might encourage me to like them but then, after I had developed crushes on them, would drop me. He also warned me about the girls who would expect me to spend money on them and how they might tell me they really liked me when, actually, they didn’t. It’s just a game they play to see how many guys they can entice into spending money on them.

I listened carefully.

Real social butterflies, so to speak, he warned.

I didn’t know what it all meant, so I went back to the father. We had a long talk. His perspective was from the guy’s point of view. He explained how the older guys in school wanted to see how many girls they could have sex with. He surmised that they talked about girls all the time and not in the most gentlemanly terms. The father reminded me this type of activity was a sin.

He repeated his earlier instruction and prophecy: Save yourself for your future wife. First, become friends. Make sure you really like her. Take your time; when you are married, it will be for life: for better or worse, through sickness and health, good times and bad times.

He pointed out the Bible passages that explained the responsibilities of the husband and father and the wife and mother. It all made sense to me. I wanted to be a good Catholic.

Little did I know that I was about to get my heart broken and that my life, convictions, and values would all change drastically in a very short amount of time. I was going to learn about head games the hard way.

Two different girls were about to enter my life. And my view of women was going to change for a long time. Ultimately, I would learn to exact my own head games—with a vengeance. I was about to embark on a journey to the dark side of life that would last for ten years. I would be changed from the innocent young man I was at sixteen to the exact type of young man I detested.

Her name was Darlene. She was young. She was beautiful. She swept me off my feet big-time. She was a year younger than me.

I was two months short of my seventeenth birthday. I did not consider myself good-looking. Although I was slender and fairly strong for my age, I was not very tall at five foot six. I had coal-black hair.

My first date with Darlene was a blind date that my cousin, Marty, had set in motion. I had never taken a girl out before, and I certainly had never kissed a girl. I had no idea what was expected of me. Should I put my arm around her? Should I kiss her good night? I had never even considered kissing a girl before. Should I hold her hand? Will she think I am at least a little good-looking? I had no idea. So I called Marty to ask her. She had lived in the city all her life, and she went on dates. Certainly Marty could advise me.

I explained to Marty that Darlene had accepted the blind date Marty had posed to her. Marty suggested that I take Darlene to a drive-in movie.

Buy refreshments, something to eat. She also told me not to rush things but that I should put my arm around Darlene. I was listening carefully.

Tell her you really like her, and at least kiss her once. She shocked me with what she said next. Let Mother Nature take its course; sex will come later. Did my cousin actually say that?

When I picked Darlene up, her mother answered the door. Her mother told me we had to be back by midnight—no later. Since it was a drive-in and summertime, we would be able to stay for the first feature only.

At that moment, Darlene came into the living room. She had on a white blouse and jeans. She looked like a princess. She was carrying a sweater. I almost fell over. I had never seen a more beautiful girl. She smiled. My knees got weak.

On the way to the drive-in, we chatted easily, and I had already made my mind up that I really wanted to get to know Darlene. What made her laugh, feel happy or sad, cry, or get angry? My goal was to become good friends and see where our relationship went. After all, wasn’t that what the father advised? Become best friends first? I certainly didn’t want to offend her. Was this the Catholic girl the father spoke of—the girl I wouldn’t know until introductions were made? It sure appeared that way. I came to the conclusion that this was the father’s prophecy coming true. Darlene was the girl the Lord meant for me. Everything fit. Now how to get from point A to point B was beyond me.

Darlene and I went on three dates. I treated her like the princess I thought she was. But when I called her for a fourth date, she flat-out told me she couldn’t go out with me again and added, My mother thinks you are too old for me. Don’t ever call back!

I was completely crushed. I couldn’t think of a thing I had done wrong. I had been a complete gentleman. Was I too old for her? Why, my own mother had married my dad when she was sixteen and he was twenty-four.

As autumn turned to winter, I turned seventeen. I could not get Darlene out my mind. My grades started slipping; it seemed I was always in a bad mood. I thought about calling Darlene many times, but I didn’t want to anger her mother. Besides, Darlene had told me not to ever call back, hadn’t she? I really was heartbroken. I simply couldn’t focus. The girl who had a locker next to mine was a senior. She was also a cheerleader. One day she said, We need to talk. Meet me after school. I’ll wait for you in the bleachers.

We sat in the bleachers, and I listened as she began. You really are a good-looking guy. Why are you moping around so much? There are quite a few girls in school who would really like to get to know you better. Yet you will hardly talk to them. Why?

I told her why I had been so down in the dumps.

She said, Don’t you have a clue about the games cute girls play? It sounds to me like you have been had by a beautiful girl. She stated her theory. Since you don’t come from a family with lots of money and don’t have a fancy car, the girl’s mom more than likely thought her daughter could do better.

Then she explained to me, Forget her. There are so many cute girls you could date right here, yet you don’t even ask or really talk to them. A girl like her isn’t worthy of you. She will more than likely end up in a marriage where she only likes the guy because he has some money, a nice car, and what looks like a good future. Or she may get herself pregnant and have to get married. Either way, that type a marriage only brings on resentment later in life. Why? Because the guy really only wanted sex at the time, and she wanted security, so they will make a trade. They will never know real, infinite love, although they may think they do. But not the love Jesus really offers us once we accept him. They should be married for at least a year or better before they have a child, to really adjust to each other and just enjoy each other—not because they have to but because they want to.

I listened to what she said. Was she right and the father wrong? All I knew was how I felt in my heart. I had to get away from where I was, so I quit school and joined the Coast Guard—the geographic cure. Get totally out of Tacoma, I told myself. I would run from the memory of Darlene. It didn’t take long to realize that joining the Coast Guard had been a really bad idea. I hadn’t even finished high school. I had taken that left turn on the path where the sign reads, This way for the rest of your life.

Going down the other fork was no longer an option. I turned onto the left path instead of the right path.

I was pushed onto the left fork by Darlene’s mother or Darlene’s head games; it didn’t matter which. After I joined the Coast Guard, I thought maybe I should have been more aggressive. My only option was to try to outrun the memory of Darlene. However, the father had told me he would ask the Holy Spirit to lay a hand on her heart, and she would contact me. In the meantime, I would just be patient.

CHAPTER 2

In the Coast Guard

I was sworn in to military service. The Coast Guard took me to Sea-Tac International Airport, where I climbed on a propeller-driven plane (no jets in 1959). Our destination was the Coast Guard boot camp at Alameda, California. The Coast Guard had a bus waiting to take the plane of new recruits to Government Island, located near Oakland, California. Once inside the base, we got off the bus. We were lined up and told what the induction process would be. The first step was to form a company. I became a member of Bravo Company 61. Once the company was formed, we began twelve weeks of boot camp training.

During the first week we received our uniforms and sea bags. We were inoculated, receiving all twelve shots at the same time. We received haircuts. We also started learning how to march in close-order drill. Although many in the company became ill from the sudden shock of so many inoculations at once, we were expected to continue and grow strong. Although I became ill, I survived. It was quite an experience. Everyone was so uncoordinated it was pathetic.

We also learned how the Coast Guard liked the beds made. A quarter had to bounce off the blankets when the bed was made or we had to remake it. Although most of us had a hard time with the quarter bounce, we eventually got it. Classes started right away, including Coast Guard History. More marching drills followed. This was all in the first week.

The second week the Coast Guard added gym and seamanship to our schedules. We learned, or started to learn, how to row an eight-man surf boat. In gym each company member had an evaluation of his physical fitness—how many sit-ups, push-ups, and pull-ups each could do. I was in the top 5 percent and had given it my best effort. Afterward the instructor told me I was expected to improve on the previous day’s efforts

As time went on, I also had to go to the firing range to earn my marksmanship proficiency. We would be hauled out to the range in a bus for our lessons. We were expected to first learn how to handle, disassemble, and fire a rifle. Since I had been shooting since eight years old, I earned expert marksman with the rifle. I had to become accustomed to the handgun, which ultimately I shot at the expert level also. I gained an expert badge with the 1911 model 45 also. I received bars for both to wear on my dress uniform.

The seamanship classes continued, as well as the close-order drill. Some nights the company commander would wake us up at two in the morning. We had to get up, get dressed, grab our packed sea bags, and run with them on our backs or at high port (holding the sea bags over our heads). We would put in at least sixty to ninety minutes of this exercise twice week.

When we lined up for breakfast, the noon meal, or dinner, it was by company. The most senior company ate first. Each company, depending on seniority, would follow. While waiting, the PDs (permanent duty personnel) would circulate through the company and check uniforms, make eye contact, and in general harass the men in company formation. PDs were looking to give out demerits. If you received demerits, you had to work on Saturdays. Assignments included pulling logs out of the mud or doing yard work on the base.

One thing I discovered was my memory of Darlene was still there, but the physical exercise would take away the stress of it. The key seemed to be concentrating on my studies and physical exercise. The combination would stimulate my mind, and the exercise would exhaust me.

Somehow I made it to the last week of basic training. I had gained fifteen pounds of muscle in my arms, chest, and legs.

I had put in for electrician’s mate/electronics technician school. It was one of the hardest to complete and took twelve weeks. I checked the postings each day to see if I had made it into electrician’s mate/electronics technician school. Finally one day my name was added to the roster. I would be going to school in Groton, Connecticut, which was across the river from New London, Connecticut. I would get two weeks of leave. I got a plane ticket first home and then back through to New York. There was one stop in Chicago. By train from New York City I would go to New London and then take a bus to Groton. What an adventure for a naive farm kid who was seventeen years old. I wondered, Should I contact Darlene? No, she still would not be old enough. Besides, the father told me that the Lord would move her to call me or contact me. Maybe I should have called her, but her mother said I was too old, and Darlene had told me not to call back. But I really wanted to tell her I was going to the Coast Guard school. Now I had some money and a future. I thought I was doing something positive. I left a week early for Groton, Connecticut, by way of New York. There was nothing to keep me in the Tacoma area since I could not see Darlene, so why stay?

After arriving in New York, I had to take a cab from the airport to Grand Central Station. As the cab drove me there, I could only think it was awesome. The buildings were so tall. Many had a full city block footprint. When the cab driver let me off at the doors to Grand Central Station, I asked him where I would catch my train. The driver told me to go to the bottom of the station. I got lost twice trying to find the way down. It was the biggest building I had ever been in. Finally a porter took me to the correct platform. Soon I was on my way to New London and Groton. I lugged and strained to carry my sea bag every step of the way.

When I reached New London, there were other Coast Guard sailors also going out to Groton. They would become my classmates. They took me under their wing and got me on the right bus and then onto the base, where I would check in. The base was beautiful. The main administrative buildings were housed in an old estate surrounded by landscaped grounds. The base was located on a wide river. I was asked if I wanted a pass for the rest of my leave. I didn’t have much money left, so I declined. Actually I felt more secure on the base.

During my first week, I explored the grounds and registered for school. I also spent time in the gym working out every day. A gym instructor noticed me and asked if I wanted to learn martial arts. I didn’t even know what martial arts was, so I signed up for the beginning class. The beginning class was tumbling and included how to fall and not get hurt. The first class lasted two weeks, but with my studies I had time. The second class was about different holds and how to block. It was fairly easy for me also. I continued for the entire time I was there.

School was easy at first. Then my grades started to fall. The instructor called me in and asked me where I wanted to go after school. I told him back to a Washington or Oregon post. The head of the school told me if I didn’t get my grades up, I would be spending my time in New England, on international ice patrol. The Coast Guard would not send me to the West Coast unless I got another two stripes. That would be a third-class petty officer. And to do that I had to average at least 90 percent for my total grade.

I had to study. That was clear. At ten o’clock at night, it was lights-out, and you couldn’t study. I solved that problem. I would go into the restroom and squat on a toilet seat and leave the stall door unlocked so it would appear empty. Anyone looking below would not see my feet. This was not allowed, but I did it anyway. I had to catch up. On weekends, rather than take a pass off base, I would stay on base and study. I planned on seeing New York, but getting back to the West Coast was more important to me. My grades came back up. My test scores were 96 to 100 percent. I was also adding some muscle at the gym. I was now approaching 160 pounds of solid muscle. I had a twenty-eight-inch waist and a forty-eight-inch chest. I was looking sort of like half of an hourglass.

When the final test scores were announced, I learned that I had passed the course. With a score of 97 percent, I now had the rank of electrician’s mate, E-3. The head of the school asked me if I wanted to go on to electronics technician school. I grabbed the chance to continue to rise in rank even though it meant ten more weeks of school. I passed that course, which earned me another stripe. Now I was a third-class petty officer, E-4.

There were no openings in Washington, Oregon, or California for a third-class petty officer. Alaska had an opening. If I chose Alaska and served for a year there, I would be promoted to second-class petty officer, E-5. I also could pick my next duty station. I chose Alaska. I would be going to Kodiak Island to be stationed on a cargo/ice breaker.

Before I was expected to be on Kodiak Island, I had thirty days of leave coming. I was given my plane tickets and leave pay and took with me what I had saved by staying on base. I headed for home. One thing I had noticed in boot camp was that the young men talked about young women in the same way as the boys in high school. The only difference was that the members of my company were older. The common theme between my high school buddies and my company members was how women played head games with guys. It made me wonder, Are they all right? All the studying and the gym had somewhat taken my mind off Darlene.

When I got home, I called my best friend, Bobby. We got together to make plans for how we would spend my thirty-day leave. Bobby wanted me to go to a dance at the Tacoma Armory the upcoming Saturday night for eighteen- to twenty-year-olds. I wanted to call Darlene before the dance and tell her what I had accomplished. Bobby convinced me that was something I should do after the dance.

He said, Besides, she has forgotten all about you completely by now. Why bother? There will be so many girls down there you can take your pick.

Spoken like a true high school young man of the world, I thought. But I didn’t say anything.

When we got to the dance, a Pacific Northwest band was playing. The warm-up was handled by a Northwest band also. I was awestruck. I had never seen anything like it. There were so many people. I was learning how to dance and was a better dancer than I had been in high school.

I also noticed I had no problem getting good-looking young ladies to dance with me. I wasn’t turned down even once. My friend Bobby came by and said, Isn’t this better than eating your heart out over a girl who more than likely forgot all about you?

Ouch, that sort of hurt. But maybe he was right. It had been over one year, and not once had she tried to contact me. I wondered how long it would take for the Holy Spirit to work. Should I try to contact her? But she had said, Never call back. This was the first time in over a year I had even been in contact with other young girls—not to date them but just dance with them. I was eighteen now. I also noticed they were asking me to dance. All Bobby would tell me was, See, I told you so. Fun, isn’t it? However, I still didn’t understand how young beautiful girls thought. And I still thought of Darlene.

CHAPTER 3

I Meet Lori

About a third of the way through the dance, a young woman walked up to me and asked me to dance. She was a real knockout. Her name was Lori. She said she had been watching me, and since I was really good-looking, she finally thought she would ask me to dance. I told she her she looked like Miss America, and she did. We danced the rest of the night, fast and slow dances. During the slow dances she really hung onto me and pressed herself against me. When the last dance came, she told me she wanted to see me again the next day!

We can go for a ride, a walk, anything! she exclaimed. I just want to be with you. She was beautiful, like Darlene. But unlike Darlene, she wanted to be with me.

We went for a drive and just talked. She slid across the seat of the car and sat next to me real tight. We drove toward Mount Rainier. We stopped at a quaint little town, almost to the mountain, and pulled the car over for hamburgers and fries. When we got back in the car, she asked me if there was any place to park.

Secluded, she specified. Then we can talk—in private—without wasting gasoline.

I found an old gravel logging road and drove down it about a half a mile. There was an overgrown road off to the right. I drove up that fork, turned the car around, and backed it onto the off road, out of sight of the main logging road.

But instead of talking, she started kissing me. Then she wanted to get in the backseat, where there was more room. One thing led to another, and we had sex. I had never had sex with a girl before. We had sex again after a while, and it was better than the first time. Finally it was time to leave for home. On the way home, she began hinting around the topic of marriage.

I told Lori we should wait until I was back from Alaska. Besides, this was happening too fast, I thought. I still loved Darlene, although I sure wasn’t acting like it. I felt very, very guilty inside. I had let the Lord down. I had sinned. I didn’t like that feeling at all. Now what? I hadn’t planned for this to happen. However, what if I had gotten her pregnant? I couldn’t come home from Alaska and marry