Twenty-One Habits of Highly Functioning Families

By Terry Cagle

The Devil has had his way in the family far too long! God designed the family to be beautiful. He even placed the first family in the paradise of the Garden of Eden. However, once the knowledge of good and evil entered the family, the Devil has tried, and has succeeded in keeping his foot in the door to the family. The family needs a complete paradigm shift. The family needs to practice good, godly habits in order to accomplish this shift. The hope and prayer from this book is that Twenty-One Habits of Highly Functioning Families will provide the reader a useful tool for positive family habits. This will result in a change in our families, in our neighborhoods, in our churches, and in our world. The mission of this book is that it will inspire good, godly habits that will allow families to shift from dysfunctional to highly functional. After reading each chapter, you will see a section entitled, Family Talk. This is a section of study questions that will allow for even more quality discussions together. Please consider practicing these twenty-one habits so they will become habits in your familys daily life. Together, we can change and be the family that God first designed the family to be.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Mar 15, 2016
• ISBN: 9781512734331

Terry Cagle

Terry Cagle is blessed to serve God as a minister at Azalea City Church of Christ, in Mobile, Alabama. He is also a husband to his soulmate, Michelle for 17 years. He is also a father to his two children, Bo and Madeline. He is a son. He is a brother. He is a Christian who is very interested in seeing a paradigm shift on the family.

Book preview

Copyright © 2016 Terry Cagle.

Front cover picture drawn by Bo and Madeline Cagle

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

All Scripture quotations in this publications are from The Message. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

1 [phone]

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-5127-3434-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-3435-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-3433-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016904160

WestBow Press rev. date: 03/15/2016

CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter 1 Say Thank You

Chapter 2 Give Hugs (and Lots of Them)

Chapter 3 Talk to Each Other

Chapter 4 Laugh Together

Chapter 5 Be There and Be Available

Chapter 6 Say Lots of I Love Yous

Chapter 7 Have Bible Studies

Chapter 8 Pray

Chapter 9 Turn off the Devices

Chapter 10 Serve Others Together

Chapter 11 Wrestle or Play Baby Dolls or Play in the Backyard

Chapter 12 Eat Together

Chapter 13 Talk about Life

Chapter 14 See God Together

Chapter 15 Don't Yell Across the House at Each Other

Chapter 16 Say Some, I'm Really Glad God Gave Me Yous

Chapter 17 Lock the Bedroom Doors

Chapter 18 Go on Dates

Chapter 19 Go on Vacations

Chapter 20 Listen

Chapter 21 Worship and Be Involved Regularly at Your Local Church

Conclusion

DEDICATION

To my wife, Michelle---you are my rock, my soul mate, my heart, my best friend. Thank you for everything (plus one).

To my son, Bo, thank you for being my buddy. You make my heart smile.

To my daughter, Madeline, thank you for being my princess. You completed my heart.

To my parents and family, thank you for loving and encouraging me always.

To my in-laws, thank you for being my second parents.

To my forever family at Azalea City, thank you for being patient with me and allowing me to grow. I'm still growing, so keep the patience.

To the best friends a guy can have, thank you for making me laugh and keeping my arms held up.

Introduction

Ever since Eve and Adam understood sin and the shame of it, the Devil has had a foothold in the door to the family. That doesn't mean there haven't been great and strong families and strong generations of families. It simply means that Satan is hard at work, and unfortunately, he is winning over far too many families. His mission is to keep families in turmoil. It's too bad that we do not live in an I Love Lucy or The Andy Griffith Show time anymore. Here in 2016, we live in a time where families are struggling and families are failing. That's why we should all want to see change. We should desire that our children and grandchildren know the way God meant it to be when he joined Adam and Eve, the first family, together in paradise. After this spectacular moment in history, according to God, life was good. We should want our church families to know that choosing to live a God life is the way it was meant to be ever since the beginning. We should want society and all who will read and share this book to know that even if your family is not where it needs to be, you too can be overcomers. We can change it ... Better yet, God can change it.

However, to do that, we must form good habits. The word habit oftentimes has a negative connotation because we often associate habits with bad things---for instance the bad habit of overeating, the bad habit of belching, the bad habit of biting our fingernails, the bad habit of oversleeping, etc. Contrarily, the word habit can be defined as a regular tendency or practice, which makes it a very positive thing. The word practice helps an incredible amount when it comes to having highly functioning families. If we desire to be great at a sport, at an instrument, at our job, at a marriage, or at being a parent, then it will require practice and more practice. Experts have concluded that if one is to do something until it becomes habit forming, then twenty-one is the number of times it will take. Therefore, we have this book, Twenty-One Habits of Highly Functioning Families. The hope and prayer of this author is that these twenty-one habits listed in the contents of this book will change the overall family dynamic. This will result in a change in our families, in our neighborhoods, in our churches, and in our world. The mission of this book is that it will inspire good, godly habits that will allow families to shift from dysfunctional to highly functional. After reading each chapter, you will see a section entitled, Family Talk. This is a section of study questions that will allow for even more quality discussions together. Please consider practicing these twenty-one habits so they will become habits in your family's daily life. Together, we can change and be the family that God first designed the family to be.

CHAPTER 1

Say Thank You

For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord. And he worshiped the Lord there. (1 Samuel 11:27--28)

This seems like a no-brainer kind of thing to say, right? Well it is, except you'd be amazed at how many families and children and adults have forgotten how to verbalize (and show) thankfulness.

I have been involved with families and children for a number of years now. I was a school teacher and a youth minister, and even now, I am around families of all kinds on a daily basis. What I have observed is not a sense of thankfulness but rather a sense of entitlement. I deserve my spouse to appreciate me. I deserve for my children to respect me. My parents need to understand I am a blessing to their lives. Attitudes like these are rocking the foundations of families' understanding the importance of thankfulness. I am of the opinion that from the time our children can put two words together, they ought to be taught to say, Daddy, awesome ... er, I mean, Thank you! If we are going to be daddy awesome, then we need daddies---and mommies---who are willing to teach their families to be thankful!

In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, Paul teaches us to give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. You see, it is God's will for us to be