Stuff Teens & Young Adults Need to Know: A Grandmother Shares Her Perspective to Questions That Surface in the Lives of Teens and Young Adults

By Christian Bray

Stuff Teens & Young Adults Need to Know is just good old-fashioned grandmotherly advice for teens and adolescents. It provides some common sense answers to the questions they want to ask as well as down-to-earth, honest experiences both suffered and cherished by the author.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Sep 28, 2016
• ISBN: 9781532006791

Christian Bray

Christian Bray is a new author, who lives in the Southeast. She is the proud grandmother of five beautiful and funny adolescents. Originally, Christian wrote this helpful guidebook for her own grandchildren. Their enthusiastic response encouraged her to seek publishing.

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Copyright © 2016 Christian Bray.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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ISBN: 978-1-5320-0678-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-0679-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016914762

iUniverse rev. date: 09/26/2016

Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Introduction

GROOMING

Chapter 1 Pimples come with the teenage years

Chapter 2 Beauty is as beauty does

Chapter 3 Cleanliness

Chapter 4 A young man in a clean shirt and tie

Chapter 5 Your Diet

Chapter 6 Organization

APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR

Chapter 7 Your Demeanor

Chapter 8 No one is perfect

Chapter 9 Turning the other cheek

Chapter 10 Handling Anger and Making Decisions

Chapter 11 Speak softly and carry a big stick ⁸

Chapter 12 Life doesn’t have a reverse gear

Chapter 13 Honesty is the best policy

Chapter 14 Crying should be reserved for pain, not sympathy

Chapter 15 Wait your turn

Chapter 16 It’s OK to join in, however, someone has to lead

Chapter 17 Bullies

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

Chapter 18 Best friends are not always forever

Chapter 19 Everyone makes mistakes

Chapter 20 Don’t hate

Chapter 21 Sibling rivalry versus love

Chapter 22 Cleaning your own toilet is not your parents’ job

Chapter 23 Be Industrious

Chapter 24 Talk with your parents

EDUCATION AND HOMEWORK

Chapter 25 Teachers are human, too

Chapter 26 Reading can be like taking a trip

Chapter 27 Participation

Chapter 28 Homework today gives relief tomorrow

Chapter 29 Studying today gets the best job tomorrow

Chapter 30 Some employers still require cursive writing

Chapter 31 Become an entrepreneur

Chapter 32 How to Keep a Job

Chapter 33 Save your money – don’t be wasteful

Chapter 34 Learn to play an instrument

Chapter 35 Obtaining your driver’s license

OUR SPIRITUAL LIFE

Chapter 36 God is real.

Chapter 37 Everyone has a difficult situation at least once

Chapter 38 Life is fragile – handle with prayer

Chapter 39 The G’s of Living

Chapter 40 Is Jesus your Driver

Chapter 41 Hunger comes in many forms.

Chapter 42 Don’t embarrass anyone who asks for help

Chapter 43 Love reaches further than a NASA rocket

YOUR PRIVACY

Chapter 44 A secret shared today

Chapter 45 Gossip often comes from envy.

DATING AND SEX

Chapter 46 Dating

Chapter 47 Your reputation IS you

Chapter 48 Sex

Special Note

Bibliography

Endnotes

DEDICATION

To my five grandchildren, Aaron, Patrick, Landon, Alexis and Lance, whom I love more that the air I breath. I would like you to see the world through these old eyes.

Parents and grandparents always want to ensure that they provide each child or grandchild the right tools and guidance for adulthood. Often times we question whether or not we failed to communicate something of great importance to our children before they leave our watchful eye. Someone once said that life should begin backwards from old age to youth. However, as God did not design life in this manner, I hope these words will provide some additional wisdom and help, not only for my grandchildren, but for each of you, who read the words on these pages. You are the legacy of your parents and grandparents. Who will be yours?

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Buck - You are my everything on earth, my love, my heart and my courage. Your confidence and belief in me lifts me every day. Thank you for your encouragement and believing in me. I love you more every day.

Carol – I am so grateful to God for bringing such a treasured friend into my life. Your kindness and love mean so much to me. Thank you for your continued love and prayers.

Inez – I cherish all our talks and thank God for experiencing your love and prayers. There will always be a place in my heart for you. I’ll meet you in Heaven one fine morning.

Kay – You are so close to my heart. The eagle. There aren’t enough words to tell you how much you mean to me. I know within my soul that God sent you to Virginia, just for me. You have been such a true blessing as my friend. I love you. Thank you for everything.

To My Parents – Without your undying love and dedication, I would never have known the confidence needed to live this life.

INTRODUCTION

I am a retired wife, mother and grandmother, who worked with physicians, nurses and hospital administrators for more than thirty-five years at a large mid-Atlantic medical center. During this time, I held various clerical, administrative, and management positions.

I was born in the hills of Eastern Tennessee. My parents moved further East a couple years before I began to attend school. My dad worked out of town a lot, so for the most part, I was raised by a loving, gentle, Christian mother, who taught by action, as well as, her words. She instilled the love of God in us, to be accountable for our own deeds, and to recognize our wrongful deeds to be sins against the Lord Jesus Christ, God’s own son.

My husband and I raised our three children during the 70’s and 80’s in a rural country farm-like setting. We had plenty of animals from chickens and goats to a pony, and our children played outside more that they watched TV. Our family was quite close with one grandmother next door and the other only four miles away. We visited both sides of the family weekly and celebrated holidays with our large family generally gathered around tables of deliciously prepared southern foods.

Our children were brought up similarly to the way my parents raised me. The one thing that I did different that our children are sure to recall is that after any discipline was carried out, I would pull them up on my lap and explain why they were punished. Each session ended with a kiss and hug and both of us learning from the other, as we grew even closer.

I always wanted each of our children and now our grandchildren to know that each day lived is a day to learn something and show someone love.

If my children quarreled or argued, I would have them stand facing each other and apologize, hug, and say they were sorry and I love you, as I lovingly reminded them how special they were and that they could never be replaced in the life of the other sibling. Forgiveness has always been more valuable to me than winning any disagreement.

As they grew, we watched how their love for each other grew in various ways. Often times the children would refuse to tell which one had broken the vase or who was heard screaming at the other. At times like these, I would remind them that unless someone stepped forward to confess, all would receive the same discipline because hiding the wrong does not make a wrong, right. And those who hide a lie are just as guilty as the liar. They called this type of discipline a package deal. And, believe me, there were times when they all received the same discipline as they were determined to protect one another and not be a tattletale.

I recall one (funny, now – not then) incident in particular, when our eldest child, at the mature age of 16, was left in charge of the house and two younger siblings for about an hour. We left instructions for everyone to straighten their rooms. Well, after we left the house, the youngest refused to help straighten up and actually began uttering profanity. When told to stop, she started repeating the curse word over and over again. Of course, when we arrived home, the reporting of behavior began. When the youngest repeatedly denied the accusations, we didn’t know which one to believe, because there had been some rivalry between the eldest and the youngest for a few weeks and the middle child wanted to stay neutral. We threatened to take privileges from everyone, if the truth was not told, but nothing changed; so we had to follow through with taking everyone’s privileges for the next weekend.

About twenty years later, the youngest confessed to repeating a curse word over and over, when told to help straighten up. Wow! We had suspected this in the first place, but at the time, we had already promised that everyone would receive the package deal, if something like this happened and we had to keep our word. We all had a big laugh, when she finally confessed. But no one laughed then. Today, we often reminisce and discuss the events of our lives back then. And