An Unexpected Goodbye: The Journey from Man to Nothing

By Bret J. Nolan

There are many things that make us human. We have emotions ranging from happy to sad, joy to anger, love to hate. We are given free will that allows us to make choices in our lives. We even have things about us that make us unique and distinguished from others. But what we all have in common is our own mortality and the fear of it.

Though this poetry book isnt about that fear, its about making a choice. Through a collection of poems and song lyrics written over the past eighteen years about my beliefs, dreams, hopes, and thoughts, I express a choice I made to purge myself of what I thought Ive known all these years and to start over again from nothing.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 13, 2017
• ISBN: 9781543464535

Book preview

Copyright © 2017 by Bret J. Nolan.

Library of Congress Control Number:      2017917284

ISBN:                      Hardcover                      978-1-5434-6455-9

                                Softcover                        978-1-5434-6454-2

                                eBook                              978-1-5434-6453-5

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 11/10/2017

Xlibris

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

769536

Contents

The Beginning

I Wuz Here

Six Weeks Too Soon

Baby, I’ll Tell You

No More

Too Much

Fucked Up Again

Plentiful Youth

North Brunswick Kids

I Might Be

Do It or Die

Open

Somebody

Lost Kid

Burn

Start to Show

Just for You

Aliens

Deal (The Cards)

Relax

Teenage Suicide (When the Night Goes Bare)

Postcard

Wet Dreams

Unremarkable

Never

Got My Way

Blessed

Fallout

Chameleon’s Emotions

You Mean Everything

Little Cory

Captured

Was All Over Now

Year in Me

Never Crack

Precious Memory

Trust Me, Ira

Here I Am Again

Haven’t Minded the Sanity Yet

Children Tears

How I Feel

Bleed

Ample Thought

Dead

Bleeding Eyes of Adoration

Cloudless Night

Angel’s Vast Sky

Accem

From Hell Home

The Search for Resurrection

The Ballad of Jesus Christ

Can This Be a Dream?

Golden Eyes

Regret I

Regret II

Regret III

Trying to Find

Luck or Faith

Virgin

Moonlight

Difference of Opinion

Brink of Madness

Knife

I Got to Drown Myself

Wait until the Morning

Darkness Follows Me

Valentine’s Broken Arrow

Killing the Red Land

Awake at Dawn

Touch the Sky

Times Rush By

Plastic Shell Covets the World

Legions Have My Soul

Dead Man

Thoughts of a Lonely Man

Felt Like Heaven

Blind to the Fact

Trip

Demons

Reflections Looking Back

Pathetic Minded

Broken Pills

The Myth in the Mirror

Paranoid

Ghost of Cupid

Perfect

Better Day

Cocksuckers’ Dreams

Monster

Seeing the Real You

The Last Hug

Dead-End Tracks

If I Was More of a Man

Powder My Nose

The Only Hero

The Sunny Deposition

Lack of a Better Word

Calendar

For Every Little Bit

Funny Way

Confession of Me

Master of All Disguises

Random Acts

War within My Breath

Had the Love

Tears Fall on This Blank Page

Optional

Thought Process

Bullshit

Let Me Down

White Mirror

Murderer, Rapist, and Thief

Mushroom Ears

King of the Streets

Another Causality

Relive My Childhood

Naked Sundays

Vanishing Act

Treat Me Like I Am

Self-Abortion

I Want to Die Like I Lived

Utopia

Lightning

Been Like This

Foolish Sentiment

Shouldn’t Care Now

Eighth Street

What We Had

Drive Away

To Lay to Rest

You’re

End of It All

Own Name

Bret Nolan

Cruelty

Without

Sometimes I Wish

Short Story

On the Break

Here for Me

Didn’t Get

One World

Being

So

Heaven

Come Around

No Longer a Boy (Or a Man)

In-Between

Suicide Note

Part Two

Make a Change (Before I Die)

All You Can Mutter

Closer to the Sun

Mind Fuck

Time To

Little Moments

Star of Hope

One of Us Fell

I’ll Change

Lenartbon at Death’s Door

Lenartbon at Death’s Door 2

Lenartbon at Death’s Door 3

Lenartbon Is …

Sweet Death Angels

Tunnel of Love

Tornado Chaser

I and I Being Lonely

Below Love

Always Rise Again

Beneath the Waves

Ten Thousand Times

Know It

When I Fall

Believe in Miracles

Windshield

I Got Me

The Beauty of Nature

Hollowness

When I Prove to You

Outside the Gate

Take Another Turn

Answer to My Prayers

Just Dancing Around

I Love You So

All the Hope

Maybe, but Not Yet

Know That

Reasons

Worth the Wait

Damaged Brain

Silence

Simply Put

Drunkard

Sinking Ship

The Constant Struggles of My Heart

Misery Loves Company

Cynical Eyes

Nothingness

The Religious Entity

Linger

Emotional Enclosure Freed

Every Last Emotion Gone

Reliable

Among Us

Before I Go to Bed

Meaning of Life

Bitter

Bipolar

My Strength

Idea

Not So Wonderful

Tombstone

Unaware

Rock Bottom

Are You Listening?

Silly Dreams

Settling

The Only Teacher I Listened To

With Every Bit

Have Worth (If There Is)

Playlist

Existence

Uncertainty Known

Uninvited Guest

All Good Things Must End

Long Summer

The End

The Beginning

The time has come, and I have come undone

This life I have known has fucked with me too long …

46067.png

Lost tonight

The world I tried to capture

It softly slips away

And I am lost tonight

I worry sometimes

There are things I come to expect

While it gently burns

I worry sometimes that I’m a joke

Love my misery

For I am asking for all the hurt

In one ear out the other

While love of my misery is my personality

Creation’s absurd

Human being and mortality asks

If death is comfort

Then creation’s absurd for us all

Suicide conversation

God is listening but doesn’t answer

I must walk out of my shoes

Talk to a poet about suicidal conversations

Borrowed mask

I have finally accepted my problems

My face is covered with hair

My borrowed mask is my bearded face

Ask me not

For my love asked me not

She burns my fire

She is my burning fire

Love is love

With these arms of desire

46065.png

Turn my bed inside out and sleep in it

Don’t risk what they already know

I open my entirety to you

                                    To you, Dylan

                                    To you, love

I don’t want to fuck, have sex, or make love,

Though I do, my mind is fucking clean

To you, I have it already,

Enjoyment or life, love, and peace

46063.png

I met you in May of 2006 before the holiday

I fell in love with you April of 2007

Told you June of the same year

And today, July 2008, my heart pumps

For no matter how long I wait

I wait with patience

I wait with understanding

For no matter how long I am still me

Still me with the new

New, alone, still

For no matter how long I stay, there’s a reason

God told me

He let me have one thought of an answer

The wait will answer your questions

Feel down inside what wasn’t empty

Emptied out this year

The lifetime of marriage mangled

Around the anniversary of our first

Time and time again

I’m still not convinced to let go

Of my broken watch

Love will come to freeze

46061.png

Unreeling the last yarn of thread

That was knitted to comfort my heart

And kept it warm

For the old lady that sits rocking

Holds the ball by her side

And makes a sweater

The gift I really want

Is summer all year round?

One month to covet

46058.png

To a whore:

Our love is unbound like broken chains

We spent a few hours together

No less, no more

To a whore:

Don’t buy the cow if you can get the milk for free

We burned out everything from things to sheets

Gone out the door

To a whore:

I don’t want this anymore

My itch

46056.png

There’s an angel that brings forth

A heart and a smile

A song that caresses my face gently

And stretches a mile

I wish to die this day to go to heaven

This is my style

God, you have failed me times before

Check the file

What is tomorrow?

It’s a day for lovers and fools

Sacred all awhile

Meet me, angel, in the morning

46054.png

Bright colorful hair and sparkling

Brown eyes capture and imprison me

I’m a slave to your heart chained

Up in the prison of free love

Since I’m under oath, I raise my hand

I will not cheat, steal, or hurt you

I walk smiling, with happy thoughts of you

Through this gangland romance town

Every time my phone rings inside my pocket

I hope that it’s you on the other end talking

Thought more than that every shadow down

And alley, I wish it’s you around the corner

And I look up to the black night sky

Where have all those shooting stars gone?

This road I walk on I don’t hesitate to stop

Because I’ll travel forever for you

Just to find all I prayed for nightly

This isn’t time to question any doubts

46052.png

I’m a child masked before Halloween

And the man I will be puts me in debt

So what I owe you I can’t possibly pay

Unless you give me the time I feel I need

This