Forrest Stories: Humor of Bedford Forrest and His Cavalry
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Forrest Stories - G. Lee Millar
© 2018 Lee Millar. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
Published by AuthorHouse 05/18/2022
ISBN: 978-1-5462-3557-6 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-5462-3556-9 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-5462-3555-2 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2018903839
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,
and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
Cover art by Jess Erskine
Back cover by Marion H. McClintock
CONTENTS
Dedication
Epigraph
Foreword
Preface
Acknowledgements
Catch General Forrest?
Introduction
Yankee Jokes
Chapter 1 Wartime Stories
Country Refreshment
Lincoln Country
Hell
Aunt Lizzy, And The Moral Of The Story
Severe Whippin’
Outnumbered 3 To 1
On The Union Side
Making Faces
The Pharmacy
FORREST’S 30,000
The Magic Tea Pot
Wounded Trooper
Living Longer
The Red Battle Shirt
One Reb Equals Ten Yankees
Chapter 2 True Stories
Mary Ann
Women Fighting Too
Confederate Girls
All’s Fair In War
– Streight’s Raid
Forrest Chastised
Can’t Hold My Horse
Gettin’ Out
Drinking
Jackson, Tenn. Recruiting
Discouraging An Admirer
The Yankee Chaplain
When General Forrest Says, It’s God,
I Dare A Man To Say Differently….
All In The Line Of Duty
When General Forrest Ran
General Forrest and the Hawg
Mistaken Identity
The Joke Is On Them
King Philip And The Yankees
Go Where We Pleased
Forrest Wisdom
How The Yankees Feared Forrest
Casualties
The New York Visit
Chapter 3 Post War
Bragging
Cow Manure
Jonah
The Train Kiss
The Dead Mule
Southern Belle And Two Veterans
The Rat Sculpture
The Scarecrow
Requesting Help
Yankee Bear Hunter
The Indian Raid
Mexican Bandit Gold
Reunion Gold Piece
Yankee Suicide
Yankee Veterans’ Home
Deer Hunting
The Stage Driver
The Young Attorney And Southern Philosophy
The Barbershop
The Saloon
Circle Flies
Yankee Fisherman
Hunting And Fishing
The Parrott And The Burglar
Chapter 4 Famous Quotes
Quotes Of Friend And Foe
Quotes From Fellow Southerners
Chapter 5 Forrest Historical Society
General Nathan Bedford Forrest Historical Society
The Forrest Recommended Reading List
About the Author
About the Artist
DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to the memory of my dad, Glenn L. Millar Jr., who possessed a superb dry wit, and dedicated to the memory of my mother, Betty Ann Millar, who, though having absolutely no knack of actually telling a joke, nevertheless always loved to hear a good joke or story. Both were great people.
This is also dedicated to my family for their collective continued support and encouragement to press on with this work, especially to these five: my brother, Richard Holmes Millar, and my sister, Mindy Millar Ferran, who keep humor and faith in their families; just as my son Casey and daughter Meg have known in ours, and to my cousin Carol Ezell, herself an author.
EPIGRAPH
Much has been written about the bravery and daring of the Confederate soldier, and yet history will never do full justice to his genius. He will stand confessed as the grandest soldier of the past, but even this will not do him the credit he deserves. There were other features in his character fully as remarkable as his courage. In every company I ever knew, there were one or more men or boys who everlastingly had some surprise for you. They were the comedians who furnished life and fun for the balance of the crowd. These fellows invariably made good soldiers; and by their pranks and jokes made the other men forget their troubles and dangers, too. They were meat and bread when we were hungry; and they gave us new life on the march when we were worn out. Proper notice has never been accorded these fellows. Every old soldier will recall, when he reads this, the names of the men of his company who furnished the fun, and who always had some poor fellow on the rack [as the subject of some good-natured chiding].
Captain James Dinkins, 7th Tennessee Cavalry, Forrest’s Cavalry Corps
Memphis Scimitar newspaper
Quoted in the Confederate Veteran magazine, Nov 1895
FOREWORD
Forrest and his men were feared and respected by Union generals in the Western theater of operations. General William T. Sherman referred to Forrest as that devil Forrest.
He had good reason for apprehension of this untutored
military genius. Forrest fought well at Fort Donelson and Shiloh and captured an entire Union infantry brigade at Murfreesboro. His West Tennessee Campaign of December 1862 saved Vicksburg for another six months by destroying General U. S. Grant’s supply line – the Mobile & Ohio Railroad. Look at his capture of Colonel Abel D. Straight and his 1700 men with an inferior force, his victory at Fort Pillow, and finally his most magnificent victory in the Battle of Brice’s Crossroads against General Samuel D. Sturgis where Forrest was outnumbered three to one. Forrest was a great military genius and was feared greatly be Union commanders in the West.
Most Forrest books, including An Untutored Genius: The Military Career of General Nathan Bedford Forrest by Lonnie E. Maness, cover his military career but do not cover most of the Forrest stories that you will find in Lee Millar’s book, Forrest Stories: Humor of Bedford Forrest and his Cavalry. Millar’s book covers Forrest before the War for Southern Independence, the war itself, and the years following this most terrible war.
One of my favorite stories is about King Phillip, one of the horses Forrest rode during the war. Even after the war was over this horse had not given up its hatred for the blue-coats. King Phillip attacked some Union cavalry that came by Forrest’s home in Mississippi. Another of my favorite stories is Outnumbered 3 to 1. Just before the Battle of Brice’s Crossroads Forrest addressed his troops. He told them they were outnumbered three to one and that they should shoot straight, do your duty, and follow our flag towards the enemy.
During the battle the next day he saw a private standing behind a tree and whittling on a stick. Forrest stated to the soldier: We’re outnumbered three to one and you should be fighting. Why aren’t you shooting?
The private responded: General, I already got my three.
And so it goes with dozens of humorous stories in Forrest Stories.
You can’t read Forrest Stories: Humor of Bedford Forrest and his Cavalry without a feeling of satisfaction and a great deal of laughter. It brings forth a different side of Forrest and his men. This book should be on the reading list of every Forrest enthusiast as well as those who want to know more about the Wizard of the Saddle.
Lonnie E. Maness, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus of History
The University of Tennessee at Martin
PREFACE
The late renowned Civil War historical author Shelby Foote was prone to say that Northerners tell jokes, like one-liners, while Southerners tell stories – long anecdotes about funny things that could likely have happened. Southerners’ stories, because they are usually somewhat based on a real person or occurrence, always have some semblance of believability, no matter how far-fetched and humorous the tale.
I and the other members of the 52nd Regimental String Band in Memphis had the good fortune to be acquaintances of Shelby Foote. We, as a period-style Civil War band, were frequently the warm-up
act for some of his lectures. We would perform prior to his presentation, playing 1860’s military, folk, and minstrel songs and jokes to get the crowd in the Civil War frame of mind. And