How to Handle Negative Comments

By Stella Okolo

Negative communication is part of our everyday life. Negative language we know, hinders a childs growth and development; destroys the identity and self-esteem an adolescent is trying to acquire; sets aside goals and aspirations an adult is pursuing and destroys relationships, reputations and careers. It breaks up marriages, causes nations to be in conflict perpetually and creates a negative and insensitive society.

What do you do when you become the target of hateful speech, slander, gossip, rumor, mockery, ridicule and all forms of negative comments and their unpleasant effects? How can we change ourselves and our negative society to become a more positive society that accommodates our rich cultural heritage.? How to Handle Negative Comments provides answers to the above questions.

However, if your life has been ruined by negative language, and the negativity that has engulfed our society, do not lose hope, it is not the end. When the past is gone, and the present is a nightmare, and the future seems so bleak, you can brighten the future by lighting just one candle in the present. Stella Okolo

You can start afresh, rebuild and blossom like the rose through the grace of the Almighty God and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who wants you to succeed. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fail; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagle; they will run and not grow weary; They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:29-30, (NIV)

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Apr 19, 2018
• ISBN: 9781512710786

Stella Okolo

Stella Okolo is a Nigerian American author who lives in Southern California. She is a writer with a passion to impact the world through her faith in the Lord Jesus, who has done amazing things in her life. She believes that faith in the Lord Jesus can see us through tough times.

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Copyright © 2018 Stella Okolo.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible® (NASB), Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission.

THE NET BIBLE®, NEW ENGLISH TRANSLATION COPYRIGHT © 1996 BY BIBLICAL STUDIES PRESS, L.L.C. NET Bible® IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK THE NET BIBLE® LOGO, SERVICE MARK COPYRIGHT © 1997 BY BIBLICAL STUDIES PRESS, L.L.C. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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Scripture taken from the World English Version of the Bible.

Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

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Bloomington, IN 47403

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-1079-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-1080-9 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-1078-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015914378

WestBow Press rev. date: 04/18/2018

Contents

Preface

Acknowledgments

Introduction

1 — False Negative Comments

2 — Negative Comments from Spouse to Spouse

3 — Negative Comments from Parents to Children

4 — Negative Comments from Teacher to Students

5 — Negative Comments at the Workplace

6 — Negative Comments Enshrouded in Humor

7 — Negative Comments through Ridicule and Mockery

8 — Negative Comments through Gossip and Rumor

9 — Negative Comments through Social Media

10 — True Negative Comments

11 — Impact of Negative Communication in Our Society

12 — Importance of Positive Communication

13 — Conclusion

Afterword

Sources

About the Author

About the Book

To Chiama, my beloved daughter.

Preface

Most of us have experienced the effect of negative statements made about us, our loved ones, family members and friends. We might have heard of negative comments made about our colleagues, celebrities, politicians and ministers of the gospel. We might also have engaged in making negative comments about other people. Negative comments like ridicule, mockery, slander, gossip and the like, can be directed at anyone. They hurt and no one is immune to their effect. We should therefore be adequately prepared to handle negative comments whenever we encounter them and this book will help us to do that.

This book was written by the special grace of God and was based on experiences I had at a particular time in my life. This was when I faced the onslaught of the devil through negative comments and actions by his human instruments. Those experiences and the things that I learnt gave me the passion to write, and in writing, I poured out my soul. As you read this book, you may be aware of my emotions running through it because I had a burning desire to communicate the truth that I learned.

The Word of God, the Bible, was a great source of solace and strength for me during this period. I hope that whenever you face such critical moments in your life, you can turn to God and his Word, so that his love will envelop, preserve, and protect you, through your trying period, no matter what it may be.

Acknowledgments

I highly acknowledge the help of my father and my Lord-The Almighty God, and my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave me the ability to write this book. He also helped me to understand the impact of negative comments on peoples’ lives.

I also acknowledge the wonderful effort of my team at the West Bow Press, who worked relentlessly to ensure that this book became a reality. I am very grateful to anyone, who helped me in one way or another during the process of writing this book

Introduction

Negative Comments entail the use of words to bring about undesirable effects in people’s lives. Words happen to be the most powerful instrument in human interaction through which we can communicate our thoughts, feelings and desires to each other. The bible stated in Proverbs 18: 21a, (KJV) that Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Our words both spoken and written carry creative positive and negative energy which has constructive and destructive potentials respectively. In other words, the positive energy is constructive while the negative energy is destructive. Negative statements like gossip, slander, ridicule, mockery and the like therefore carry negative destructive energy. These negative words that are spoken with negative intentions can hurt us deeply and destroy our interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships. In fact, negative words spoken consistently into the life of an individual can alter the individual’s perception of himself causing him to see himself in a negative light which can hamper his ability to lead a normal life. It is therefore, necessary to acquire the ability to handle negative comments to prevent its negative effect on our lives.

Negative Comments occur every day in our lives and can be spoken by parents to their children, between spouses, among friends, family members and coworkers. It also occurs from teachers to their students, among public officers, politicians, business men and women, celebrities and between nations. Among people, it introduces confusion and unhappiness and between nations it escalates conflict. In James 3:5 (KJV), the bible pointed out the very important power of negative words, when he said that the tongue is a little member that boasts great things, and that a little fire kindles a great matter. This means that words are like fire, and that a single negative word can set off a cascade of events, just as a small fire can set a house ablaze. Negative comments like gossip, slander, blackmail, mockery and ridicule have destroyed homes, separated friends and jeopardized carriers. They have tarnished the reputation of many individuals, set aside dreams and aspirations, destroyed government establishment, businesses and Christian ministries. And have also destroyed national and international relations and is partly responsible for the chaos experienced in our nation today. The ability to handle negative comments therefore, is a very important requirement for peaceful coexistence among people and this book was written to help us develop that ability.

As you read this book, you will understand how to acquire the skills that you need, through the word of God, the bible, to handle negative comments and actions. You will also learn how to deal with various types of negative comments such as false negative comments, true negative comments and negative comments that occur in different areas of our lives. Through its analysis, you will understand the impact of negative communication in our society and the importance of turning back to God as a remedy. Development of positive communication is encouraged, however, it emphasized that the root of all communication stems from our hearts and allowing the Lord Jesus to transform our hearts will terminate our desire for negative communication and inspire us to acquire the desire to communicate positively.

Finally, an important highlight of this book is in chapter seven, where it gave an in-depth analysis of how Nehemiah, the prophet, rebuilt the wall and the gates of Jerusalem while facing strong constant opposition, through negative comments, in the form of ridicule, mockery, blackmail and threats to his life. Nehemiah rebuilt the wall and gates of Jerusalem in 52 days and achieved his life’s dream and purpose. He did it, you can rebuild your life also and achieve your dreams by the Grace of God.

READ ON

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Your reputation, your dreams, your aspirations and your goals, may have been destroyed and burnt to ashes, but God can make those ashes rise, far above your circumstances and far above the skies, to where no limits exists, in the bosom of our God.

—Stella Okolo

To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion. To give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the lord, that He might be glorified. Then they will rebuild the ancient ruins, they will raise up the former devastation, they will repair the ruined cities, the