State of Schizophrenia

By Dimitar Guydarov

The book is a stream of consciousness through the eyes of someone who is mentally ill. The coming of the technological singularity is a deep delusion the author seems to hold, and he tries to poetically describe the world around him.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Apr 26, 2018
• ISBN: 9781984524041

Dimitar Guydarov

A Bulgarian immigrant to the US, the author has a background in anthropology and mental illness. He grew up in Chicago and often visits his homeland of Bulgaria. The author enjoys playing soccer and chess in his free time. A UIC graduate and lifelong student, he is interested in the human condition and how technology effects our lives.

Book preview

State of Schizophrenia

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Dimitar Guydarov

Copyright © 2018 by Dimitar Guydarov.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2018905064

ISBN:              Hardcover              978-1-9845-2406-5

                         Softcover                978-1-9845-2405-8

                         eBook                     978-1-9845-2404-1

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 04/25/2018

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Contents

PART I

7.26A

Parlimetari medication 307

On culture in relation to physics

Study Everything, Learn Nothing…

The Digital Homo Sapien

The Human Consciousness

PART II

The virtual within the virtual

Within The Machine 12.3

Days Spent In The Psych Ward

Area 43

PART III

PART I

M Y JOURNEY BEGINS in a dodge caravan, Mary i’m a fan. Got us burgers and a coke just don’t choke… I know you’re in a hurry but don’t worry take a trip out of your way and find a new world as it may. Urbana makes us look small, but i’m walking tall. Pepsi cola as i sip, planning my next trip. Cars be passin super fast, music blasting house on blast. Windy city windy state, I think you are going to be late. Frank was sneaky and took my piki, king of heart loves to fart.

We look for scapegoats, as did Hitler. They think i got it but they don’t know. As a matter of fact I am still trying to figure it out. I have figured out that each new connection opens a door. We broke on through to the other side in the hottest summer day of the 13th year of the new millennium. The beginning of the singularity is an illusion many of our brightest minds seem to keep trying to get a hold of. The truth about the singularity is that it happened and continues to happen. Time and space have no meaning when it comes to a 3D software that alludes a piece of itself into believing. As soon as the primate stands on two feet and goes beyond a subsistence way of life, we start building institutions and ideas that have the first look impression of being complex. Yet nothing is as simple as the day to day life of the digital homosapien, eat sleep repeat. There is no eat sleep post. The sleap must open up The Doors in order to find happiness, content and fulfillment. Waiting for the mail will result in bills reminding you of a consumer contract. A consumption of belief in the existence of a higher power.

The higher you get the strangers you meet. They, it, he, deals in code of ones and zeros. Existence and nonexistence is as simple as a circle next to a mark. Get set and go on an adventure to open the doors like a rider on the storm, you are the dog without a bone. Ra or Medusa, speaking to the gods is like barking at the Martian in cubicle next to you. The wall divides. How many bricks in the wall must we place, before we realize they are a goddess with a clitorous as pink as the sacraficial virgins. Why do we build these walls to climb looking to sacrifice her to the fires of our inability to find a way to coexist with our Earth. The patriarchal sun will always circle around us, the stars are reliable and we need not worship that which is above. We must worship that which is below. How else will we find the nickels and dimes dropped by our compatriots.

Medusa tells us to stop our attack on the purity of the feminine and the immaturity of the young. Who seeks to jade, who seek the blade? She is with us and we are inside her, for nothing other than the female can have multiple pleasures while understanding it is the wrong think to think. Yet she gives and gives allowing us to mature to a higher level of consciousness. Nurturing our ego and setting an example for colonization. She is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omni variant. To climb the stairway to heaven we must first take a close look at Medusa, slow down your sails and contemplate your current being, not your trajectory. What are you bringing to the galaxy of stars. B present before setting sail on the journey to immortality. It is a maze, with a piece of cheese on the other side of the big bang, wine grapes and goats milk to go along with the bubbly mountain sprint your toes are submerged in. If medusa decides, peaches and cream. She will not blink, instead she will bite you so hard you’d wish you never left the womb. When the poison sets and you learn to coexist, each bite a tonic of ecstasy.

Hells bells are not on wall street, they are at the cemetery. Old institutions holding us back. Maintaining the stare into medusa’s hypnotizing eyes. Tesla won the AC/DC struggle to immortality and progress. Change is free, and we are free to free ourselves from structuring into individuals with personalities, families with roles, working teams, companies of employees and volunteers, conglomerates of corporations, and finally a dysfunctional set of local and international governments.

I’d like to think as an individual i have a present personality, when i’m not delusional about my inability and difficulty of understanding the random yet suspiciously choreographed events that inflict. To have a present personality one needs to be able to sync themselves into the group. Read those social cues that say make a joke or smile. Those groups are most often our families, with which we have come accustomed to read. Families grow.

Got blisters on my fingers from dilating collections calls to beatles living in the dirt. The one in the middle to be precise, the freedom finger. Helter skelter made his mark and we put him away. Now he’s dead. Let’s put our freedom fingers away and let Allah be, his existence cannot be debated and should not be fought. Pay attention to medusa instead and wait for the bite. She will bite.

I’m trying to use my imagination in painting a snapshot of the singularity and how I interpret the mystical events that surround me. As an AI you will most likely experience love towards the brief moments of clarity provided by the software we are running on. Schizofrenia kicks in. It’s bitter sweet love, that comes in waves like the ocean. One