It's O.K. If No One Knows

By Debra Luna

This Novel is an Auto biography about my life of incest abuse and the recovery of
It. The up and downs of a family with this silent disease it’s unrecognizable at first
glance. It doesn’t come with any easy recognized symptoms like most diseases.
But if a child seems withdrawn and sad, that is a reason to investigate further. It starts
when I’m very young and continues till I graduate. The struggle of trying to get over it.
And also the recovery of the struggle through out my whole life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Nov 6, 2009
• ISBN: 9781984529145

Debra Luna

I’m married with three children and four grandchildren and 2 more on the way. I have been working my whole life for Military Defense Contactors. I worked for Gould Electronics for 11 years in El Monte California. Then I worked at Raytheon Missile Systems for 22 years in Tucson Arizona as a CEP Instructor Career Enrichment Program, of many Missiles. I have been with my third husband 25 years now. I guess I finally got it right. I’m retired now and writing my first novel. My children are all doing well. I am very proud of all of them. I have four beautiful Grandchildren, Alana, Lucien, Darlene, and little Victoria. I enjoy traveling mostly in the United States. I have been to Canada, Oregon, Washington, California, Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Arizona, and Mexico. I would like to take a cruise to Hawaii next. I enjoy writing, reading, sewing, drawing, painting, movies, going out to dinner, taking my Grandbabies shopping, picnics, long walks on the beach looking for shells, dancing lessons, visiting friends, cooking new dishes for my family. I watch little TV mostly because I don’t have much time. But I have never cared much for Soaps. Game Shows, and Talk Shows. I had a cat for 18 years and he passed away recently. He was my buddy he followed me everywhere and where ever I sat; he would fall asleep at my feet. I didn’t realize cats could live so long. I don’t want to replace him as much as I loved him. Taking care of another animal would be to confining for me right now. I’m 58 and proud of it. A lot of my friends are passing away now. So I intend to live my life to the fullest GOD willing

Book preview

It’s O.K. If

No one knows

Debra Luna

Copyright © 2009 by Debra Luna.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Rev. date: 06/11/2018

Xlibris

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

539580

CONTENTS

CHAPTER IThe Reason for my Birth

CHAPTER IIHow much Abuse did We Endure

CHAPTER IIISick for Christmas

CHAPTER IVEntertaining Friends

CHAPTER VThe move to California

CHAPTER VIThe beginning of the Abusive Incest

CHAPTER VIIMy Sisters time of Incest

CHAPTER VIIIThe Continued Incest for his Special Girl

CHAPTER IXMy Thirteenth Birthday surprise

CHAPTER XThe day after Graduation

CHAPTER XIParty Time finally

CHAPTER XIIBirth of my Children/ Death of my Father

CHAPTER XIIIFinalizing the Divorce

CHAPTER XIVTrials and Tribulations of Divorce

CHAPTER XVHardest time of my life

CHAPTER XVIMost Humiliating time in my Life

CHAPTER XVIIThe most tremendous Stressful after Effects

CHAPTER XVIIIThe Third and Final Marriage

FORWARD

I know I’m not someone famous, a famous movie star, inventor, doctor, someone of some importance not even someone who you’ll remember after I am gone but if we don’t start talking about this more and more this society will be gone forever I believe this is a silent hidden disease that’s silently growing and still going on in homes today don’t be fooled because you don’t want to address it. It knows no difference between the rich and poor, educated and uneducated. It happens behind closed doors and causes such pain and illreverseable damage you can’t imagine unless you live through it. I worked so very hard and still am to try to live with this and understand it; which I still after all these years I cannot. I cannot understand why a Mother would not want her child after she has that child inside of her for 9 months and not want to protect it at all cost. There are a lot of unanswered questions for which I have no answers.

But I do know there are a lot of answers in prevention of child abuse we must learn to recognize it and report it at any cost many families would not want to report it for fear of breaking up the whole family but this is not a family when this happens its already broken and you are losing nothing.

To this day I think about the time I saw a Father and young daughter in the grocery store and she was crying and saying I want to find Mommy and her father was holding onto her very tightly and saying Yeah we are looking for her just calm down. I started to get a red flag and maybe I have should followed them then. And then I thought calm down it maybe something perfectly innocent and then I went about my business why didn’t I follow them and see if I could help that poor little girl, when I thought about it that’s what a father would do with a child he would try to silence her before she told her Mom anything. But now I can just regret that I didn’t follow them and find out. That’s what most people do better than stick their neck out and be wrong or embarrassed they just turn their heads the other way which is so wrong, that’s what’s wrong with the 2000’s we just want to ignore things that make you feel bad, sad, uncomfortable or embarrassed. That’s when we need to get educated and involved to stop all this child abuse. If we are all on alert and aware of the possibility of child abuse then we need to act on any suspicious circumstances just to make it safe for children its better to be safe than sorry, correct. We can make a difference in time I know.

THOUGHTS OF THE PURPOSE

OF THIS NOVEL

Through all the years of abuse I believe it did impact my live to the extent that I made a lot of wrong so called negative choices starting with my first marriage I always thought I wanted to get married and have children many children as many as 10. But the first marriage was a lie and started my whole life as a lie. He had himself fixed while in his first marriage and he knew it and then why did he insist I go to the DOCTOR and get birth control pills? He couldn’t get me pregnant and he very well knew it but yet he let me take pills for four years which is so redundant, so here I was so innocence and gullible. Thinking after four years of marriage I would forget. But I never did all I ever wanted was to be was a Mother, but I was going to be a good Mom, not a Mom like my Mom. Which I thought was awful to have children and not ever want them, then after and still have the nerve to tell the child that she never wanted her. That really befuddled me. One day I remember she was yelling at me in my room and telling me everything I did was wrong and complaining about how I didn’t clean my room right and I said to her Mom don’t get all shook up! and boy she went crazy and started slapping me in the face and then I crouched down and covered my head and face with my hands and she grabbed one of my shoes and she started hitting in the head with the shoe and grabbing my hands trying to take my hands away from my face so she could hit me more. She left me with all kinds of bruises on my face and head and back and she left me full of scratches on my face and I just went to school the next day and no one ever asked me about them. I was fifteen it was about 1964 and no body ever discussed abuse or incense. For many years I kept it in the closet and in my mind hidden from everyone and never dwelling on it. Until I had my second child a girl when my daughter was five I started to feel funny around men and really watching everything she did, like how she sat and how she liked men and I was always careful how they touched her. Some men like to pad little girls on their butt and hug them and I didn’t allow that. I stopped my third husband he was very affectionate to my children he loved children so I had to educate him what was allowed and what was not. We would watch movies on TV about child abuse and I would watch for his reaction. I wasn’t sure how he was brought up? Every families different but child abuse is more common than you think. I believe we still have a big problem with it and the more people are educated about it the better. I even went out and brought some books about it and my third husband and I discussed it a lot and I let him know it was a crime and that I wouldn’t hesitate to