How to T.O.R.T.U.R.E. Your Boss: A Practical Result-Oriented Approach to Working Well with Your Boss

By Jimmy Low

Almost everyone has had a confrontational relationship with a boss.

A great boss is usually someone who claims not to be a boss and who does not behave like one, but they are not easy to find.

In this guide to reducing the tension with your boss, you will learn how to:
• think positively about the boss-subordinate relationship;
• turn negative energy into positive, transformative power;
• replace routine tasks with a system of sustainable, measurable results; and
• direct your attention toward duties instead of the bad feelings you may feel about your boss.

The author also shares important rules for conducting yourself in the workplace, such as why you should never talk about your boss behind his or her back; the importance of constantly revitalizing job skills; and ways to avoid confrontations.

Working for a boss—especially one who doesn’t want to see you succeed—can be tricky. That’s why it’s essential to focus on improving your relationship with him or her by applying the strategies in this guide.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Partridge Publishing Singapore
• Release date: Feb 5, 2019
• ISBN: 9781543749328

Jimmy Low

Jimmy Low based the approaches in this book on the years he spent in varied roles in the corporate world from l981 to 1993 in Hong Kong and in Singapore. A veteran curriculum development researcher, he is working on the application of code-switching and trans-languaging technologies to the development of business-specific applications, which he’ll explore in his next book: Breakthroughs in Business English. He is also the author Winning Tactics for Managers (McGraw Hill, 1990), I.M.P.A.C.T. Strategy: The Dynamics of Organizational Renewal, and Managing Difficult Subordinates (Pan-Pacific Publishing House, 1993).

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Copyright © 2019 by Jimmy Low.

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-5437-4933-5

                Softcover         978-1-5437-4931-1

                eBook               978-1-5437-4932-8

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

www.partridgepublishing.com/singapore

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

•   Do you really have a boss?

•   When is your immediate superior a boss?

LEVEL 1

•   The Seven Strategic Rules For Reducing Boss-Subordinate Tension

•   Re-charging Your Emotional Battery

•   An Overview of the Seven Tension-Reducing Rules

•   Rule 1

•   Rule 2

•   Rule 3

•   Rule 4

•   Rule 5

•   Rule 6

•   Rule 7

LEVEL 2

•   The Seven Tactical Steps In Managing A Turnaround Strategy

•   Increasing Your Intellectual Power

•   Optimizing: The Only Chance to Keep Your Boss at Bay

•   An Overview of the 7-Step Approach

•   Step #1: Target-Setting

•   Step #2: Observing

•   Step #3: Recording

•   Step #4: Tracking

•   Step #5: Unravelling

•   Step #6: Re-defining

•   Step #7: Expediting

CONCLUSION

•   Are you yourself a BOSS?

•   Taking Stock Of What You Have Achieved

•   Self-Perception Check Quiz

•   Verdict: Are You A First Among Equals

INTRODUCTION

T.O.R.T.U.R.E.

DO YOU REALLY HAVE A BOSS?

Any person who is a Snobbishly-Obsessive Bully is bad enough. To find in the same person a Sneaky Snobbishly-Obsessive Bully (i.e., S.S.O.B. or read as Double S.O.B.) is certainly a double misfortune for anyone who has to deal with this beast (aptly nicknamed as the Double S.O.B.) most of one’s waking moments.

And when you discover that the Double S.O.B. when spelt in reverse is actually your own boss, what a catastrophe! You want to pack up and go immediately, but can you?

Throughout the book, gender-specific terms may be used in order to ease the text flow. Whenever a gender-specific term is used, it should be understood as referring to both genders, unless explicitly stated. This is done solely for the purpose of making the text easier to read, and no offense or sexism is intended.

Your boss is all right as a person whom you hardly know.

Once you know him not as another person, colleague, acquaintance, or friend, but as a boss, he does not exist as a person any more. He becomes a monster. You begin to loathe him. That is because he is not what he appears to be to the public at large.

You’ll discover that a friend is seldom ever a good boss, but a boss who does not claim to be one or who does not behave like one is always your friend.

Your immediate superior is to you either a boss or one who is First Among Equals.

The reality is that the person to whom you report immediately is caught in the dichotomy of hypocrisy and authenticity in management.

Hypocrisy in management, at one extreme, produces the character nicknamed the Double S.O.B. Authenticity in management, at the other extreme, produces leaders nicknamed the First Among Equals.

Is your immediate superior a Boss or a First Among Equals?

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The boss makes your life in the organization worth leaving, the sooner the better.

The boss is out to give you a real rough time, the rougher the better.

The boss is desperate in driving home to you that he is the boss. He makes all the decisions, the more the merrier.

The boss’s battle is won when your self-confidence is shattered, when you can’t do anything without him or without his prior knowledge and consent.

If your immediate superior respects and treats you as an equal, he makes your life in the organization worth living, the longer the better.

As your immediate superior, he is First Among Equals. He leads and manages with the highest level of integrity and with a code of professional ethics.

He builds your self-esteem. He encourages you to tackle strategic issues. He learns with you. He builds in you the belief that supports you all the way.

The First Among Equals truly and progressively empowers you as you progress with confidence and competence along the fast corporate track.

WHEN IS YOUR IMMEDIATE SUPERIOR A BOSS?

WHEN HE IS A BLAME-FIXER.

When something goes wrong, his primary concern is to fix the blame. Instead of swiftly helping to mitigate the damage brought about by the unexpected consequences, he wants to know right away who is to be blamed. If he is unable to get any name from you, you will end up as the unfortunate scapegoat. Why did you let this happen? What the hell have you been doing? Why do I need you for? You’d better answer for this. That’s what he will typically say.

When is your immediate superior a boss?

WHEN HE IS AN ORDER-GIVER.

As an out-and-out boss-pleaser, he is a perfect yes-man to whatever whims and fancies coming from his immediate superior, who is to be expected, another boss. The result is under the pretext of delegation, he becomes a polished order-giver. Like a serf in medieval England, you go to bed each night not knowing what you will be ordered to do the next day. Herein lies the principal source of your mental stress. To make matters worse, any memo from him to you is made up of scribbled notes hardly decipherable no matter how hard you try. What is clearly decipherable is his fanatical insistence that anything sent to his boss must be PERFECT! You will be subjected to all kinds of verbal harassment should he spot an error in what you submit through him to his boss.

When is your immediate superior a boss?

WHEN HE IS STATUS-SEEKER.

As an egocentric and protocol-conscious corporate climber, his thirst to make his office symbolic of high power and prestige is unquenchable. Accessibility to his presence is restricted to those much higher up in the organizational hierarchy. Any matter from you to him is given no priority, unless it is something that affects his status-an invitation, for example, to be with important people at important public events. His eyebrows are raised should you address him by his first name. His secretary is untouchable as she exists to serve only him. If you ever find your 5-feet-?-inches stature in his room, you will not be permitted to leave till you are reduced to