Life’s Not Fair…: But God Is Awesome

By Sam Sekimi

Author Sam Sekimi has been twice married and twice divorced, and she sees the ends of her two marriages as her biggest failures. She believes the commitment to the meaning behind her marriage vows should be lived out until death. When this did not happen for her, her self-esteem and confidence suffered, and only with time, counseling, and the love of God could she recover.

Now, in Life’s Not Fair… But God Is Awesome, Sekimi presents her twenty-one-year journey through the events of her life and the stories she has created along the way. She hopes that through her experiences, challenges, successes, and failures, others may gain the encouragement and confidence they might be lacking. As Sekimi explores marriage, divorce, family, friendships, religion, faith, and death, she includes not only her personal narratives but also some of her original writing, along with lessons learned quotes from those who have touched her life.

In this inspirational collection of writing, one woman shares her life story with the goal of inspiring the faith and optimism of others.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Aug 19, 2019
• ISBN: 9781973669326

Sam Sekimi

My name is Sam Sekimi, the mother of two adult children, Louisa and Samuel. I’ve been a high school teacher for thirty-four years. I’ve lived in a small community for thirty-nine years. My master’s degree is in working with socially and emotionally maladjusted children. My hobbies and interests are cooking, sewing and crafts, reading, nature photography, poetry and many others (too numerous to mention). I have been an avid football fan since the 1970s. I enjoy volunteering. Sharing a meal with friends and family brings me much joy. I also have a special interest in working with teenagers and adults to prepare them for the importance of communication and commitment in relationships.

Book preview

Copyright © 2019 Sam Sekimi.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

1 [phone]

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Scripture quotations are from The Revised Standard Version of the Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1965, 1966 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified® Bible (AMP), Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. www.Lockman.org

Scripture quotations marked (TLB) are taken from The Living Bible copyright © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-9736-6931-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-6930-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-6932-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019909891

WestBow Press rev. date:  08/15/2019

Contents

Disclaimer

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Preface

Forward

Sam’s Writings

1997

I’m Addicted to Hope

Lessons of Life: Living the Reality of Divorce

Sam’s Writings

Things I’ve Learned about Marriage

Sam’s Letter to Dr. James Dobson

Sweet Home Alabama

Oh Glorious Day

Living with Rose-Colored Glasses

Email from Sam to Justin

Messages for a Friend

Commitment: Email from Sam

Excerpts from Father Thomas’s Letter

Resurrection of a Relationship: Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Letter to Frank

Long-Time Neighbors

Letter of Encouragement

Painful Remembrance

New Year’s Eve 2005

In Honor and Memory of My Precious Nephew, Joseph

Focus on Forgiveness

Frank, Where Do I Stand?

Frank’s Response to Sam

Fiftieth Wedding Anniversary

A Spiritual Cleansing

Questions

Disappointment of a Mother

The Hurt of Betrayal

Do You Believe in Miracles?

Email from Sam to Frank

A Date with Dad

To Discern God’s Will

A Daughter Remembers

The 1:54 a.m. Phone Call

Disappointing Phone Call

Another Surprise Phone Call

My Guardian Angel, Aunt Frances

My Children Will Never Understand

Believe in Happy Endings Short Story Contest: Sam’s Entry

I Am Not Alone

Mistaken Identity

Letter to the Editor: Cheating Has Bad Consequences – (reprinted with permission from the Herald-Standard)

An Update … November 2010

The Challenges of 2011 and How They Turned into Unexpected Blessings

An Email from Sam to Jean

A Day in the Life of My Favorite Football Team

Sam’s Letter to Frank

Frank’s Response to Sam

Frank’s Dream

Why I Fell In Love with Frank

Letter to Frank

Spiritual Journey (Where is God?)

Letter to Frank

Letter to Elisa and Jeff

Letter to Frank’s Attorney

A Day of Mixed Emotions

Sam’s Writings

A Great Spiritual Revelation

A Friend for All Times

When God’s Timing is Perfect

Sam’s Thoughts and Advice about Marriage

Living in the Spirit: What Are the Results of Living in the Spirit?

The Annulment: Final Chapter

A Prayer for Those Who Live Alone by Sam Sekimi

Writings From Others

A Prayer for Our Family—Scripture Taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version

A Prayer for Today

A Prayer for Your Journey: Freelance Writer

Believing Your Uniqueness: Author: Reinforces Purpose of Writing My Book

Be Obedient: Televangelist

Best Friend: An Email to Sam from Kay

Card from Wid

Choices: Former Student

Commit to Something

Count on Someone: Radio Host

Don’t Expect Miracles: Fr. Richard

Don’t Let Fear and Doubt Hold You Back: Gina Jones – (reprinted with permission from the Herald-Standard)

Emotional Prison: Televangelist

Encouragement: Televangelist

Example of Happiness: Email from Beth

Excerpt from One Year Later: TWA Crash Survivors Urged to Allow Ourselves to Heal – (Associated Press, 1996)

Faith in Your Fear: Author

Faith or Fidelity of a Mom: Email from a Friend

Faith: Televangelist

Faith Weathers Every Storm: Author

Fear Not

Focus Your Mind and Heart: Televangelist

Forgiveness: Author

Forgiveness

Four Tips to Ignoring Negative People: Mayra Bitsko – (reprinted with permission from the Herald-Standard)

Garden of Life

God Always Answers Prayer: An Email from Wid and Carlene

Grateful Healing and Wholeness: Friend from New Jersey

Happily Ever After: Author

Making It Work

Happy Mother’s Day: Ron Misiewicz – (reprinted with permission from the Herald-Standard)

Healing Prayers

Hold Your Head High

Hope: Televangelist

How to Let Go of Past Hurts: Pastor

Hungers of the Heart (Holistic Approach): Priest, Author, Speaker

I Asked God: Printed in Ann Lander’s Column – (reprinted with permission from the Herald-Standard)

I Shall Pass: French Missionary

Is Honesty Always the Best Policy, or Are White Lies Sometimes in Order? Freelance Writer

Just Say No: American Talk Radio Host

Led By the Spirit: Televangelist

Lessons in Love

Lessons Learned in Life: Quote of the Day

Letting Go of Fear: Life Has Just Begun: Chelsea Settles – (reprinted with permission from the Herald-Standard)

Live Your Best Life

Love is Patient …

Love One Another – John 13:34

Lyrics from the Song Collide

Making Things Right: Writer

Marriage Still Great after Seventy Years: Lisa Gearing – (reprinted by permission of the author and the Herald-Standard)

My Angel: Writer

Novena for Peace of Mind: A Sister from St. Mary’s Church

One-Sided Love Affair Can Be Pretty Lonely: Email from Kay

On His Plan for Your Mate: Author Unknown

Perseverance: Televangelist

Perseverance: The Rookie (Movie)

Prayer for Frank: From Friends

Promise of New Beginnings: Christian Magazine

Quotes

Recognizing our Gifts or Talents: Televangelist

Reflections from the Country Road: Fr. Joe, 1996 (reprinted with permission by Father Joe Breighner)

Rejection

Rejection, Trust, and Abandonment Issues: Talk Show Host

Religious Quote

Revelation by a Friend

Sorry: Jeanie, a Friend

Take Time: A Friend

Ten Real Marriage Vows You Should Have Made at the Altar: Mindy Raye Friedman (reprinted with permission from the Herald-Standard)

The Appointed Time: Televangelist

The One Thing That Will Ruin Your Marriage: Heather Hale – (reprinted with permission from the Herald-Standard)

The Power of Choice and Its Consequences

The Power of Choice: Televangelist

The Rewards of Forgiveness: Fr. John Catoir (reprinted with permission of the Catholic News Service)

The Word of God: Televangelist

To Be One with Each Other: Marriage Commitment

Today’s Word: Televangelist

To Love: My Indy friend, Megan

Trust

Trust or Betrayal: Trip to a Conference with Frank

Trust and Strength and Peace: A Respected Priest

Unforgiveness Leads to Bitterness: Televangelist

We All Can Have Second Acts (and Third): Quote from an Author

We Serve by Listening

What Holds You Back Also Makes You Stronger: Barton Goldsmith (reprinted with permission from the Herald-Standard)

What May Happen: A Resident of Lake Hopatcong, NJ

Who Am I?

Wise Counsel: Televangelist

With Age Comes Wisdom

Working Behind the Scenes: Televangelist

What Makes a Marriage Last?

Things I’ve Learned about Marriage

Insight Timer: From My Cousin

Words from My Son

Disclaimer

The stories in this book are true and accurate as viewed in the eyes of the author. Names and locations have been changed to protect the identity of the characters. This obviously is one person’s perspective as the events occurred.

The artist, David Scott Patrick, who completed the cover design, put great thought into what he saw his mother deal with as major themes of adversity turned to hope and encouragement. As he began to draw in the rainbow, the last part of the design, he spoke these words: Lord, guide my hands. The turbulence of her life turned to calm and peace.

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank and acknowledge many people for making this book a reality. Beginning in February of 2014, I met regularly at a restaurant with my friend Sue. We started our session with prayer, ate lunch, and talked about life’s challenges and happy moments too. We discussed progress made with the book. Sue accepted the task of entering all my writings and other entries into the computer. She volunteered her services, for which I am forever grateful.

One of our dear waitresses, Suzi, waited on us with patience and always offered us great friendly service with a smile. We felt as though she became part of the process. We both looked forward to seeing her and interacting with her during our work sessions.

Then one day at our restaurant we met our waitress, Shantae. It was a God appointed moment. Normally we met on Thursday, but on this particular day we didn’t. Shantae had asked us what we were doing since she could see we were working on something. After explaining why we were there, we began to talk further. I found that this young lady had just gone through what I had experienced several months ago, the breakup with a loved one. We all three agreed that we hadn’t met by accident, but by divine appointment.

She shared with us the title of a book, The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. This book suggests praying circles around your biggest dreams and greatest fears. This year, in March of 2015, my friend Sue had purchased this book plus many other gifts for my birthday. Lo and behold, Shantae was working this day and got to see my surprise as I opened this gift from Sue.

I want to show appreciation to all my family and friends who have encouraged me and pushed me to get this book finished, and even those few people who didn’t think I could or would finish it. You were my inspiration to say to myself, I’ll show you. To my children and all the people, from friends and students, who may even be in the book, I can’t thank you enough for bits of wisdom you shared with me along the way to either include in my writings or to use to transform my life, hopefully into a better human being. My one friend Wendy said, I don’t have to read your book, I lived it. These words ring true for all of you who have had to endure through the years my retelling the events that changed my life forever. But as you will soon find out, though all doors closed, most always other doors opened. As I can see now, everything that has happened to me has shaped and formed me into the person I am today and hopefully the person God wanted me to be.

I would also like to thank Christian, Sue’s son, for being the first person to read my writings, make comments and suggestions, and commend me for my honesty in sharing my story.

To those people who have loved and supported me during the best of times, and to those who were there for me during my darkest hours, I acknowledge and thank you as well.

1. My precious Aunt Elizabeth, who has taught me about love.

2. To cousin, Betty and friend, Marie, who have walked a similar journey, thank you for sharing your gifts of understanding, having compassion, listening, and advising.

3. My lunch bunch from work: Bits of Wisdom

a. Gina - You’ve come a long way, baby and Hang in there.

b. Stephanie - Unforgiveness is like poisonous cocaine. It can destroy us.

c. Sarah - Don’t let anyone or anything cause you to lose your dignity.

d. Wendy - I will never abandon my friend, even when I may not agree with her decisions.

4. My brother, Andy: Believe in yourself and One’s perception becomes his or her reality.

5. My dad, Joseph: You did nothing wrong. Hold your head high, and keep on truckin’.

6. My ex-father-in-law, Carl: He was my keeper of the gate who looked after me during my days alone.

7. To my children who snapped me back to reality. They saw their mom with tears on many days. They were at a loss of what to do for me in my grief. Samuel’s words were, You already lost Dad. Do you want to lose us?

8. To friend and cousin, Wid: This too shall pass.

9. To John, a co-worker: Don’t sell yourself short.

10. To Father Richard and Father John for your spiritual advice and prayers. But most importantly, because of my faith I survived. Christ never abandoned me, and I felt His love, which gave me hope to grow and start over again.

About the Author

My name is Sam Sekimi, the mother of two adult children, Louisa and Samuel. I’ve been a high school teacher for thirty-four years. I’ve lived in a small community for thirty-nine years.

My master’s degree is in working with socially and emotionally maladjusted children. My hobbies and interests are cooking, sewing and crafts, reading, nature photography, poetry and many others (too numerous to mention). I have been an avid football fan since the 1970s. I enjoy volunteering. Sharing a meal with friends and family brings me much joy. I also have a special interest in working with teenagers and adults to prepare them for the importance of communication and commitment in relationships.

Preface – 04/17/2015

As I was sitting on the back deck of my home, a thought came to my mind that I was to write a book. The book title I was given is Life’s not Fair, but God is an Awesome God. I was to do the cover in watercolors, soft pastels. The image that came to me was the universal don’t sign with the words

Life Is Ø Fair, but

God Is an Awesome God!

This was all given to me on July 15, 1999, which I just realized this morning was the eighteenth anniversary of my mother’s passing. She died on July 15, 1981. I never realized this fact until this morning. Was it she or God who was inspiring me to tell my story?

At some point I shared with my priest about how my book writing all came about. He liked the idea. I asked him what he thought about the title, and he suggested I change it to Life’s Not Fair, but God Is Awesome!

So this is what I chose and how I arrived at the title and began the whole process of being inspired to take on this writing journey. This book has taken almost twenty-one years to complete, but my friend Sue felt that all these events had to take place before the purpose of the book could be fulfilled.

My intent is that if one person is touched and helped by the story of my life during this time span, my job will be completed. I hope this story touches many lives and that God will use me to emphasize the importance of the meaning of the word commitment and to help others to deal with loss and grief for whatever reason it may come into their lives.

Forward

God’s Purpose for Our Lives – 05/27/2007

When I look back over my life, I see there were times when God’s purpose was clear and other times when it wasn’t. It seems that when I was in my forties, my true purpose unfolded. Prior to that time, my life was beautiful. I had a happy childhood, two good parents, and one great brother. I breezed through grade school, high school, and college with very little difficulty. In the late sixties, I met the man who about two and a half years later would become my husband. God blessed us with two children—a daughter, Louisa; and a son, Samuel. My marriage, as I knew, was perfect. I had a husband, children, and a home my husband had built for us. I was also surrounded by family and friends. Who could ask for more?

I went to college and became a teacher, not knowing this period would be the start of God’s preparing me for His purpose. In the mid-1990’s, our daughter had already graduated from college and was working in Florida at an aquarium park. While our children were in college, my husband and I were enjoying the empty-nest syndrome and delighting in each other’s company—or so I thought. But in May one phone call changed my life forever.

Never did my husband lie to me. But this evening he wasn’t where he told me he would be. The next morning, at 5:45 am, my worst nightmare happened. Upon my questioning, I received the answer no woman wants to hear. When I asked him, Is there another woman? he responded, Yes there is, and how do you like that?

My heart just about stopped. This was the beginning of the end. It was the first step, which eventually, almost two years later,