The Joy of Forgiving:: Recipe for Health & Happiness, Katie Style

By Katie Toomey RN and Dannion Brinkley

It’s about love and death, surviving and thriving, pain and empowerment. For a lighter, enthusiastic, and sometimes humorous approach to what can be a heavy topic, The JOY of ForGiving shares inspiring perspectives and stories for letting go of toxins we are holding on to ~ Katie Style. An enjoyable read, you will find yourself feeling lifted and more joyous in your life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Oct 16, 2019
• ISBN: 9781982235581

Katie Toomey RN

Many agree that forgiveness is a powerful force for transformation that can be life balancing. Few capture its essence as brilliantly and joyfully, as the title implies, as Katie Toomey. Her experience as a registered nurse, sensitive to sexual violation, her wisdom and compassion as a healer, and her humor weave together stories and “recipes” that make this book a must read for all desiring to embrace the freedom and healing of true forgiveness. Dr. Tianna Conte, International Best-Selling Author of Love’s Fire trilogy, books on personal transformation, and founder of The GPS Code for awakening your soul’s guidance

Book preview

The JOY of ForGiving

Recipe for Health & Happiness

Katie Style

Katie Toomey RN

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Copyright © 2019 Katie Toomey RN.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

Balboa Press

A Division of Hay House

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.balboapress.com

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Material presented with the permission of the Bawa Muhaiyaddeen Fellowship.

KJV: Scripture taken from the King James Version of Bible.

NIV: Scripture taken from the New International Version of Bible.

ISBN: 978-1-9822-3557-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-3559-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-3558-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019914934

Balboa Press rev. date:  10/15/2019

This book is dedicated

to Dr. Bill Chandler

and our Oconeechee gang

whose love and friendship helped me heal.

Y’all will never know how much

you are loved.

And in loving memory of Henry Leo Bolduc,

A true mentor.

KT

ABOUT THE COVER

Swan Turn Around

By Michael Green

www.michaelgreenarts.com

Inspired by a Rumi poem:

The beauty you craved in things

Was always my glimmer

Seen through a veil.

Turn around

And see

where

beauty

comes from.

(Version by Michael Green)

Swan Turn Around cover art and Rumi translation © Michael Green, HYPERLINK "http://www.michaelgreenarts.com"

www.michaelgreenarts.com

Mother Tara and Letting Go art © Sherab Shey Khandro,

HYPERLINK "http://www.SheyGlobal.com"

www.SheyGlobal.com

Blue Buddha art ©2014 Kasey Moran,

HYPERLINK "http://www.kaseymoran.com"

www.kaseymoran.com

Blossomed Rose art by Dr. Mary Toomey

Mother Mary over Star of the Sea Church art by Barry Wilkinson, Pahoa, Hawaii

Contents

Acknowledgment

Foreword

Introduction

Section I

Love Is For Giving

Chapter 1 The Attitude of ForGiving

— Why Forgiveness?

— Love is For Giving

— Peace

Chapter 2 The Dream: Life Is an Illusion (Or, a Box of Chocolates?)

Chapter 3 Living in NonJudgment

— Cindy Broaddus’s Story

Section II

The Healing Power of ForGiveness

Chapter 4 The Ties That Bind

— Judith Toy’s Story

Chapter 5 The Healing Power

Cam’s Story

Chapter 6 Trauma to Triumph: The Debbie Smith Story

Section III

Recipes and Ingredients for Release

Chapter 7 Relationship

— Relationship: Release the Grip

— That Kind of Hairpin

Chapter 8 The Ingredients: A Shift in Perspective

Chapter 9 9 Recipes for Release

Conclusion

The Banquet of JOY

Chapter 10 Self-ForGiveness: Key to the High Way

Chapter 11 Enjoy Your Meal!

— A Guided Visualization

The Power of 4: 4G~4Give Logo Explanation

About The Author

Addendum

— A Shift in Perspective, 10 Daily Statements

— Howard Wills’s Prayers for Life I—VIII

Bibliography

The JOY of ForGiving

Acknowledgment

M any friends and acquaintances have encouraged and supported me throughout this long process. Please know I love and thank you all even if not mentioned (and please forgive any such omission).

I would like to acknowledge several who put in the above-and-beyond time and effort in reading and reviewing the initial forms of transcripts and rewrites, rearranging of chapters, etc. Those who rise to the top so to speak are Diana (Frank) Ross, my eternal number one supporter, Dianne and David Purdie, Barbara Clay, Letitia Saville, and the Brinkleys ~ Dannion and Kathryn.

I’d also like to thank Michael Green for his generosity in the use of his stellar artwork on the cover, as well as my sister Dr. Mary Toomey, Sherab Shey Khandro, Kasey Moran, and Barry Wilkinson for their beautiful art included in the interior. Sorry they’re not in true color!

Sometimes it is the love and faith people have in you that keep you going. The perceived lack of faith from others can also be an outer manifestation of our own inner doubts, helping us rise through fears. Try to bless this, just never let it hold you back. Being my first book (and being an OB nurse), it has been a seemingly endless gestation and birthing process.

I would like to thank God, His angels. and archangels for their persistence (i.e. nagging) support and eternal love. They never give up on me ~ nor, for that matter, on any of us.

Foreword

I felt Katie’s energy as she sat in the audience that first time we met. I felt and recognized our connection. We are family, soul family. She’s one of my favorite people, and I’m so proud and excited to see her publishing her first book.

In my first Near Death Experience (NDE), the Beings of Light told me I needed to forgive everyone or I wouldn’t be able to progress or move further into the heavenly realms (story included later in this book). I didn’t feel these people deserved it, but I let it all go. What would you do?? I don’t know about you, but I was enjoying myself and wanted to expand and experience more. I had never felt so good!

Katie can help you feel great about releasing whatever it is you need to let go of. What are you waiting for? Whatever it is and no matter how bad, Katie will lift you so you can do it. This is for us, as we grow in spiritual unfoldment. She’ll even help you laugh about it, and you’ll feel wonderful. Remember, it’s all about love. If it’s not love, let it go.

This book can make that difference in your life. I know she’s made a difference in mine.

Dannion Brinkley

Saved by the Light, At Peace in the Light, Secrets of the Light

Introduction

M aybe divorce is the perfect place to start in writing a book on forgiving. It is quite the biggy. On a day while crying and filled with emotion ~ with love, gratitude, forgiveness, and in touch with a desire to heal, I began this process. I surrendered it all ~ my marriage and divorce, my husband, his family, my grief , love, and pain ~ to my Higher Power, to our Source of limitless love and compassion. I sent my husband, soon to be ex, a message of love and blessings. I do not know how it was received but I had the need to send it, express it, and release it. I did not say I forgive you. That can definitely bring up a defensive reaction, like a blame thing, which is unproductive. I continued to express from within forgiveness toward my marriage and divorce, my husband and myself, and with a huge wave of compassion for all involved and affected.

It can feel bad to have someone express their forgiveness to us, do you agree? It implies fault, ill-intention or action on our part and can be taken or received as an insult. Plus, then we know someone has really been stewing about something which we have possibly been completely unaware of. This is how it is so many times. My friend Tina once had a major moment of forgiving her mother who was very sick in the hospital at the time. She finally told her mother, I forgive you. What a huge thing she felt she was doing! Her mother replied in shock (hear the New York accent), "Fo’ what?" Haha! This is perfect forgiveness in a nutshell ~ our own very personal process releasing our own negative reactions, blame or emotions we have been harboring for however long. It is huge ~ to us! It is our own issue.

They say if you want love, be love. At the time, dealing with the breakup of my marriage, I was feeling full of love. I said, "I love me. I forgive me." I started crying. It is always hardest to be loving and forgiving toward ourselves. What we cannot do for ourselves, we cannot do for others. What we wish to do for someone else, we need to practice for ourselves. If it is not in us, or part of us, how can we give or share it? We must first have to then give. We do not lose when we give, we multiply the good. Coming from the point of view that life on earth is an illusion, I expressed, I forgive this dream I have dreamed, and I forgive myself for dreaming it. I said these things over and over, awaiting a sense of peace. The peace eventually did flow over and through me, my process complete.

I thought of different people whom I loved, men I have loved. Starting with the husband, I expressed my love to them all, one after another. I sent that text message. The thought alone brought some pain with it, which I chose to just hold in my heart with love and gratitude. Whew. Just choosing to truly feel it all is not an easy choice, but it can be the most efficient route. What can possibly be quicker than going straight through the heart of the matter ~ totally feeling it, blessing it, then releasing it all to God; handing it over. I continued to express the love I felt for different people, including my spiritual teachers ~ gifts in my life, all of them. I expressed, I release all this to God, until peace washed over me and I lay still. Ah, peace ~ the other side of pain and, in my opinion, well worth the journey straight through the anguish to the other side. Forgiving is freeing and healing.

Finding a Positive Productive Perspective (the 3 P’s or PPP, Katie Style), a shift in perception, and processing forgiveness does in the end bring peace and resolution to the possibly overwhelming pain or aggravated emotion of a situation. The intention of this book is to assist the reader in finding peace and joy through a shift in thinking and perspective. This, in turn, brings less personal stress and the accompanying increase in wellbeing. Stress has been shown to be the number one cause of illness in our world today. Holding on to un-forgiveness, we hold that stress in our bodies which can then lead to dis-ease. This is not theory, but truth.

Sometimes difficult or traumatic things happen. We may lose our way. We may lose our connection to our inner joy or positive feelings. We have all experienced this. People can become embittered from negative experiences. There was an earlier time in life my spirit was downtrodden or depressed. I was in my mid- thirties, busy with duties as a mother and working as a new nurse. My relationships in my life at the time were not positive mirrors. I was being controlled and manipulated by people. I was not in an empowered state or even really aware of what was happening around me. But, I always say my angels rock; and they were on the job.

A blue hardback book leapt off the shelf to me, at me, for me, as I was browsing in a bookstore ~ one of those moments. The Light came into, or better said, returned to, my life. Maybe it was more like a lightning bolt? The title itself, Saved by the Light, hit a resonant chord within. I had been on a spiritual path since early childhood, but recently day-to-day life ~ with small children, work, and a lonely marriage ~ had taken over (my girlfriend called me a married single mother). I was disconnected from my true self, becoming a human doing. My beingness (KT) was dormant. I needed my life force spark back, and now the spark was to be reignited. A true adventure was in store for this Cinderella.

In my twenties, I suffered many personal losses, among other traumas. Not one, not two, but three men I became involved with died. The second loss was the most traumatic, Bobby Allen. I was just twenty-one years old. With his passing, I experienced complete devastation, and I was all but catatonic. I could barely speak or think. It also brought one of the most blessed spiritual experiences of my life, shared in a later chapter. Isn’t that how life goes ~ trauma and blessings, trauma and blessings ~ well, mine did for a long time! I could hardly function. Later, my first husband passed away as well (please don’t feel the need to count these men). Then I discovered Dannion Brinkley as his book fell, or leapt, into my hands.

Saved by the Light is the story of Dannion’s true-life experiences of life, death, and shift, shift, shift. In a nutshell for the Introduction here, it is the story of his fascinating Near Death Experience (NDE) after being struck by lightning ~ his transformational journey and his struggle to understand what it was all about. Years later he would have even more NDEs and life reviews during open-heart surgeries and brain surgery. He keeps dying, yet returning. How intriguing for a girl like me that loved and lost over and over.

My heart felt so full, expanded to bursting, walking past yet another display of Saved by the Light. Every time I saw these books I was filled with the feeling, I know him! I could feel it. I knew it was my destiny to know him here, I already knew his soul. I knew it as an absolute. I told my friends this, and they of course thought I had lost (more of) my marbles. At the time, I was a separated mother of several young children and a baby. I had recently graduated nursing school, given birth to my fourth child the same week, taken my nursing boards, and started my first nursing job. I told my friends, "If I have to quit my job I have to go see him, it is destiny." Envision the shaking of heads. I, on the other hand, knew this to be an imperative.

A small, blonde, beautiful woman, Laurie Schwartz put together the symposium for the research about the Near Death Experience in Maryland. Speaking with her on the phone, she affirmed it was my destiny ~ bishairt ~ to attend. Laurie also invited me to visit their hospitality suite for a snack and to meet them. Later, I took a seat in front to be able to fully experience Dannion’s energy. Long story short, he