A Guide to Life for Young Men Aged 13+

By Dave Whitehead

Boys are less prepared for maturity than girls and are less likely to discuss their feelings with others. This book is intended to provide a foundation for young teenage boys, on which they can develop their characters and build decent futures for themselves. It is hoped that they might find it useful enough to pass on to their own sons when the time comes.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press UK
• Release date: Mar 3, 2020
• ISBN: 9781982281373

Dave Whitehead

I was born in Sussex, England in 1947. I grew up in a poor, loving family and spent my working life in government service. As a parent and grandparent, I became aware, through my own experience, of the need for a book to guide young boys on many factors of life. Readers will soon discover that I am not an author. Nevertheless, this book needed writing and It was my responsibility to write it.

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1

WHO ARE YOU?

The chances are you’re not quite sure who you are or haven’t given it much thought.

Your character has developed through your experiences as a child. You have been exposed to the influence of your parents or guardians, siblings, grandparents, teachers, and friends.

Be in no doubt that, whether you like it or not, you will have inherited genetically some characteristics of your parents and their parents.

You may also have role models who you wish to emulate who affect your character.

It is important to be yourself. Don’t try to be something you’re not; it’s hard work and not worth the effort. Learn to like yourself. You have many good qualities and some not so good ones. Enhance the good and learn to control those that will let you down.

Try looking at yourself as others see you.

Remember that before you can be true to anyone else, you must learn to be true to yourself.

The poem Desiderata by Max Ehrmann (1872–1945), written in the 1920s, may help to guide you in your early years.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,

they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain and bitter;

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs;

for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals;

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love;

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline

be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be,

and whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

2

HOW OLD ARE YOU?

At 13, most boys are interested in computer games, football, bikes, and tropical fish, for example. They might have a passing interest in sex of some sort, which may be viewed with trepidation. Sexual awareness may reveal itself with erections at odd, unexpected occasions.

At 15, most boys will have more than a passing interest in sex due to their physical development. Sexual arousal is a natural phenomenon, which can be very intense at this age.

It is important that you do not allow yourself to be adversely affected by peer pressure. You will not be behind the power curve if you don’t have sex when everyone else claims to have done so. Take your time. Find the right partner.

Don’t ignore your hobbies; they form an important part of your life and will provide many